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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 1:38:55 PM   
littlesui


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/1/2006
Status: offline 		Humiliation is a big turn on for me - my hottest fantasies are around humiliation.

(in reply to solvr70)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 2:05:43 PM   
thehellcat


Posts: 12
Joined: 5/29/2007
Status: offline
my most erotic fantasies revolve around embarrassment!  i have only limited experience with this in r/l but as hot as it makes me, i believe that with the right One i could throughly enjoy being made to perform or be displayed (like at a play party or BDSM club)!
i hesitate to use the word humiliation only because it has such diverse meanings for each of us. But the idea of embarrassment works VERY well for this sub! *grins*
My most wonderful fantasy revolves around lactating and not being allowed to wear a bra....going with my Sir to a mall or store and having my milk come in...soaking my white blouse and having my Sir make small little comments regarding not being able to take me out in public without me embarrassing HIM! LOL!

(in reply to littlesui)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 2:46:04 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i love embarrassment and humiliation but not the kinds that would damage my self esteem...being told that i have a fat, ugly body would kill me.  but being made to pee in front of him while he talks to me about it is something else, or him telling me i must be a slut if my nipples are always hard like they are.  these kinds of things send me over the moon as far as being turned on goes, a lot of other things do as well.   i don't understand this angle of it but i go with it.

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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 4:28:52 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I always thought that humiliation/embarrasment would be a turn on but I'm a bit torn on the subject.  When I'm put in a situation that I find embarassing, I usually try to cover it up or move over it more quickly.  The person usually knows that I'm embarrassed about the issue and will ask questions which make me feel somewhat uncomfortable, but I have managed to get through it.  So do I find it a turn on?  Not necessarily, but its something that I dont like dealing with too often.

(in reply to solvr70)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 5:40:36 PM   
Thorns82


Posts: 92
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline 		I know that certian things, in private deffinatly turn me on.  The idea of doing things in public is a huge turn on as well, and I really enjoy listening to him talk about things he wants to make me do...but since I've never actually done them...I can't say how I'd feel about it.  I found out the hard way about thinking something turns you on, and in reality the effect can be very different.

(in reply to solvr70)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 5:44:11 PM   
TysGalilah


Posts: 589
Joined: 11/21/2007
Status: offline 		 
does being embarrassed by him turn me on?
 no.  He doesn't purposefully embarrass me or degrade me.
Tyson doesn't desire or use degradation in our relationship dynamic.
 
There are things, that some might call humiliating, that I do find sensual and exciting.  ie. crawling, masturbating in front of him, and some others....
  but then again > they don't embarrass me.
 
There have been times when he has "pushed my envelope"  and I have had to get over feelings of shyness or modesty and was embarrassed....can't say I was excited by it( it = being embarrassed) tho'.
perhaps excited by his attempt to "talk me through it all"   
love to listen to that man take command of my emotions.
...and the feeling of giving more of myself to him than what was in my comfort zone.  That does excite me.
 
 so the fine line is
   humiliation doesn't excite me
but
feeling humble before him and humbled by his command, does...
hmmm
 
 
 

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(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/1/2008 9:14:05 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		Oh yeah, definitely. Embarrassment and humiliation can be incredible turn-ons. Plenty of ways to do it, too.

(in reply to littlesui)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/2/2008 11:32:09 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: christine1

i love embarrassment and humiliation but not the kinds that would damage my self esteem...being told that i have a fat, ugly body would kill me.  but being made to pee in front of him while he talks to me about it is something else, or him telling me i must be a slut if my nipples are always hard like they are.  these kinds of things send me over the moon as far as being turned on goes, a lot of other things do as well.   i don't understand this angle of it but i go with it.


I echo this sentiment although I see embarassment and humiliation as two different things.  I don't really get embarassed that easily although I can be humiliated.  I don't do public play at all though, so embarassment by others responses (other than the D type) isn't really an option.

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(in reply to christine1)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/2/2008 11:41:21 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Embarrassment, which I see differently than humiliation and degradation (which in my case, are very close relatives), is something I have a love/hate relationship with.  He loves to embarrass me - it amuses him, so even though I'm embarrassed, I'm thrilled that he's happy.  It takes less and less to embarrass me, though - The way I see it, why would anything I do as his requirement of me cause me embarrassment?

However, yesterday as I was pulling into a toy store to get some things for our trip, he called and said some things to me that had me writhing in my chair.  Sometimes I go into these modes where I become oblivious to the world.  Let's just say that during this conversation, I didn't realize....um...what I was doing.  When I went into the store and approached the register with my purchase, the girl there asked if I was OK.  Sure, I said, why?  She asked if that was me in the green car? 

Oh. Um.  Yes.  I was on the phone.

She grinned and said Oh so you WERE OK!! And laughed. 

Uh huh.  Yeah.  Just fine.  Heh.  How many saw?

Oh, just her and the entire corporate office next door - about 20ish or so.  I put on a good show, they said.  Come back any time, they said.

Egads.  After driving away, laughing my head off and calling Mr. Wonderful to amuse him with it, I realized I should've asked for a discount.

(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/2/2008 2:04:33 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Very light embarassment so I blush and bury my head in his chest makes us closer. Humiliation makes me need to get away from him, emotionally and physical, and is detrimental to the relationship.

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(in reply to solvr70)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 10:35:11 AM   
sunshinedreams


Posts: 181
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		I am with the only man who has EVER made me blush. It's not easy to embarrass me, but he seems to have found a way. I like that, but don't find public humiliation at all pleasing.

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 10:52:52 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: parttimehotty

quote:

ORIGINAL: lilabbotsfordgrl

Does being embarrassed (by extension: some forms of humiliation etc) turn you on?  Does it have any other positive effects, such as making you feel more submissive?

I'd like to hear from both the "yes" and the "no" submissives, please.  Please explain!

Being embarrassed, in the right context, definitely turns me on.  When Daddy takes naughty pictures of me and threatens to (or actually does) show someone else, I usually feel very...... at his mercy.  That makes me feel submissive to him, which is a big turnon.  :)



Oh yeah, i love to be humiliated!! It actually makes me strive to work that much harder on my physical appearance when he would talk about my fat, ugly body. 

OMG.... that would crush my heart...and end the relationship for me....


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(in reply to parttimehotty)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 11:26:16 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Embarassment is a must-have in our relationship.
It gives me a deliciously squirmy, hot feeling.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 12:03:44 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		If the embarrassment serves to show my submissiveness, for example by showing a Mistress's control, or how far She can make me go or what I will do for her, then yes it is a definite turn on.  Being submissive or obedient gives me pleasure in and of itself.  Embarrassment magnifies the "effect" of her control or my obedience by seeing it reflected back from an outside vantage point. It has twice the power and it turns me on to see or feel that control or power.

That doesn't mean I have to be embarrassed in front of others. If we are alone and a Mistress asks me something and my answer embarrasses me , or tells me to do something and it embarrassess me to do it or to realize that I have done it without blinking, that just as effectively shows her power and control and turns me on. 

I'd imagine that being embarrassed by a disparaging remark about my intelligence or physical appearance or ability would not be a turn on at all. That would just hurt and hurt for no purpose. And would show that I was not esteemed by my partner

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A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
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(in reply to solvr70)
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RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 12:13:07 PM   
nameonhold


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'm wondering .... can you humiliate the willing ? I've had some women try to humiliate me desperately, but I was so willing to please I swallowed all my pride .... for instance .... when she desired to display me to strangers .... and then have me masturbate as entertainment. I have to say that I did so willingly, because I knew it would please her. And honestly, I was not the least bit embarrassed or humiliated.

Just wondering.

(in reply to WalterRego)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 12:29:38 PM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Humiliation is always a deeply personal thing.

For your example it was not humiliating but that does not mean it could be the next time you do it in a fairly similar situation based on mood, preparation and mind set.

What is humiliating is subjective to the individual and the moment. There are things I have built up tolerances to. Things that humiliate me now that feel like the same when it was first done to me over a decade ago and there are things that still humiliate me on some level but partial tolerance has occurred.

Trust me one of my first owners had a true fetish for this type play. She had an endless amount of things that she thought up or did constantly to get me to feel humiliated.

Humiliation love it and have no worries I will become to use to it.


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I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

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(in reply to nameonhold)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 1:03:56 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nameonhold

I'm wondering .... can you humiliate the willing ? I've had some women try to humiliate me desperately, but I was so willing to please I swallowed all my pride .... for instance .... when she desired to display me to strangers .... and then have me masturbate as entertainment. I have to say that I did so willingly, because I knew it would please her. And honestly, I was not the least bit embarrassed or humiliated.

Just wondering.


Yes, when it becomes so strong it grabs you deep at your core and you cringe - painfully, excitedly, anxiously, and shockingly.  In my case, it pains me, not just mentally and emotionally but physically, too - that sinking feeling in my gut that expands outward to reach into the rest of my body...and when he stops I crave more...to see how far he can go, how much I can take.  I feed off him this way, and he feeds off my reaction, while knowing just when to pull back before causing anguish that can not be undone.

He takes his knowledge of me and uses it - whether it is my fear, my shame, my humility, or my craziest lustful desires.  The key is knowing when enough is enough.  It leaves me in quite a state.  :)

< Message edited by ownedgirlie -- 2/12/2008 1:05:26 PM >

(in reply to nameonhold)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 1:19:24 PM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Embarrassment and the threat of it can cause that little swoop under my stomach which proceeds a nice swoon feeling, beating a lustful rush to my loins  becoming intensely warm until the first beads of moisture seep through the seam of my swollen lips...

Yeah, I kinda dig it!

well wishes ~ fairer than she


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(in reply to lilabbotsfordgrl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 1:42:32 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Embarrassment and the threat of - playful and good natured, yes, is a big turn on.    Humiliation and degradation - absolutely not.  

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: submissives/slaves: Is embarrassment a turnon? - 2/12/2008 2:01:52 PM   
WalterRego


Posts: 276
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		Well, nameonhold, maybe she didn't want to humiliate you then, just show you off, or show off her control over you. If she wanted to humiliate you she could have just taken it a step further or several steps further than that until she got to the point of humiliation.  Not humiliated by masturbating in front of others?... then how about catch the ejaculate in your hand and eat it? Not enough? Don't catch it and eat it off the floor.  Still not enough? Have the strangers walk on it and lick it off their shoe bottoms.  Still not enough? .....

You get the point. Personally although I like embarrassment I'm not into humiliation which I (personally) see as coming from a different motivation and satisfying a different kink for both partners. Admittedly both along the same continuum  and sometimes it's hard to distinguish, but for me, embarrassment is at an earlier point along the line. And can be fun, whereas I think of humiliation as, even if enjoyable to both parties, serious. 

Either way, it's just a matter of finding what particular thing happens to humiliate a particular person. We've all got a point at which it crosses the line and occurs. All you need is a creative enough (and wicked enough) partner who wants to do it.

_____________________________

A person should not choose the form in which he wishes to perform the service, but he should perform it in any manner the opportunity affords. He should be like a vessel into which anything may be poured - wine, milk, or water.
-Abraham Joshua Heschel

(in reply to nameonhold)
Profile   Post #: 40
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