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Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 7:39:14 AM   
SunLord


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Joined: 1/25/2008
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When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions? What are your feelings toward your partner? Do you do anything differnet? Noob questions I'm sure but I wonder how others feel in this matter.

SL
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 7:57:28 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SunLord

When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions? What are your feelings toward your partner? Do you do anything differnet? Noob questions I'm sure but I wonder how others feel in this matter.

SL


Love affects different people in different ways. For myself, the deeper the feelings, the better the reactions

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to SunLord)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 8:07:20 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunLord

When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions? What are your feelings toward your partner? Do you do anything differnet? Noob questions I'm sure but I wonder how others feel in this matter.

SL



I am mostly in love before I take a sub (or at least like her very very much). It was never in the way..just made it eassier.


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to SunLord)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 8:09:26 AM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
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quote:

When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions?
 

Could you clarify this?  I'm not sure if you are talking about deep, dark secrets or some activity or something else.

(in reply to SunLord)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 8:12:17 AM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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Without a doubt for me, the more I care for someone, the deeper my submission grows.  Similarly, the deeper my submission grows, the more I seem to be able to love and care for that special woman.  It's something of an endless spiral.  It all becomes more intimate for me.  She eventually becomes able to tap into the submissive core at the center of my being and bring out what I refer to as the uninhibited "submissive slut" and play with it for out mutual enjoyment.
 
In part it's about building trust; something much easier to do with someone you love.  The more you feel that love, the more you're able to trust and share.
 
 - pixel


_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to SunLord)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 8:17:28 AM   
batshalom


Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline
Because I have to trust my Dominant completely, I can't submit without loving him. It is a long process, just like a vanilla thing only with kink and different authority.

(in reply to pixelslave)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 8:18:03 AM   
RoughFN


Posts: 197
Joined: 7/26/2006
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I'm pretty sure there are a few other threads on this subject, but I'm no good at searching around here...

I've had it effect me two different ways. One girl years ago I started to have some feelings for and did sorta feel a little guilty about smacking her around so much. My current girl I love very deeply and dearly and I'm much more sadistic as a result of it. I dunno, maybe just gave me the feeling that I can let go and give in more. I know I love her, she knows I love her, she loves me, and that's not going to change because of a scene in anyway, so it's fairly liberating.

But it's all very person and situation dependent.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 8:32:45 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
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Love and trust are the two key components for me to submit to a partner. Without one or the other, there's no power exchange.

(in reply to RoughFN)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 10:15:42 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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http://www.collarchat.com/m_651231/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#651253
What's love got to do with it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_632033/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#632105
Loving your property

http://www.collarchat.com/m_609494/mpage_2/key_love/tm.htm#609934
Ownership and Love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_545462/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#545482
What does love got to do with it?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_538921/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#538965
The Loving Dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_499831/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#499881
Don't fall in love with your dom

http://www.collarchat.com/m_477568/mpage_3/key_love/tm.htm#484997
How common is it to fall in love with a submissive or dominant?

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=423736&mpage=1&key=love&#423879
Love and Ms

http://www.collarchat.com/m_282567/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#282615
submissive/slave romantic love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_269031/mpage_1/key_love%252Csubmission/tm.htm#269120
Falling in love with Mistress

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248492/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#248492
true love in a relationship

http://www.collarchat.com/m_236486/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#236486
balancing commitment and love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_199915/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#199915
love in bdsm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_166085/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#166085
love and D/s

http://www.collarchat.com/m_65043/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#65043
love and bdsm (the unfettered heart)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_150281/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#150281
Is it normal to fall in love with your dom during training?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_125880/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#125880
not allowed to love him, what do I do?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_119832/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#119832
being owned or being loved

http://www.collarchat.com/m_97124/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#97124
subs/masochists and love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_31285/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#31285
can love get in the way?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_14998/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#14998
love in d/s

http://www.collarchat.com/m_2491/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#2491
is love important in a relationship

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SunLord)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 10:23:35 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RoughFN

I'm pretty sure there are a few other threads on this subject, but I'm no good at searching around here...

I've had it effect me two different ways. One girl years ago I started to have some feelings for and did sorta feel a little guilty about smacking her around so much. My current girl I love very deeply and dearly and I'm much more sadistic as a result of it. I dunno, maybe just gave me the feeling that I can let go and give in more. I know I love her, she knows I love her, she loves me, and that's not going to change because of a scene in anyway, so it's fairly liberating.

But it's all very person and situation dependent.

I completely agree...With the extra bond of love, I believe one is MORE free to express, MORE of who and what they are. When you love, and are loved back....you are free indeed!


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to RoughFN)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 11:06:53 AM   
Statepalace


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/20/2007
Status: offline
The more love I feel, the more I am willing to share those "dark expressions" with Him. Loving Him makes it safe to do that.

I want to see the sadistic parts of Him, the parts that really want to make me cry. I can feel ok to explore the "dark" things, as you said, because I know that He cares about me (even though I am sure yet if He loves me).

Because I love Him, it changes what I feel ok doing with Him. I want to give Him whatever He wants because I love Him. It amplifies how submissive I feel.  

_____________________________

And if I cease to desire and remain still,
the empire will be at peace of its own accord

(in reply to SunLord)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 11:31:30 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunLord

When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions? What are your feelings toward your partner? Do you do anything differnet? Noob questions I'm sure but I wonder how others feel in this matter.

SL



I don't have "dark expressions".

That being said, I love my Owner and I would have needed to love her before I put all my trust into her.

(in reply to SunLord)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 12:01:16 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
i couldn't be in a relationship without love, or at least i haven't had to yet. :)

Love makes everything more special, more meaningful and more deep. We are able to share everything with each other and we have built up a relationship, based on love, trust and honesty.

Love is the icing on the cake, it makes everything so much sweeter and so much more enjoyable.


_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 1:59:20 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline
I liked my previous Master at least at first i did.  I can not honestly say i loved him.  My wonderful Master now, well we are very much in love.  I think the fact that we are in love makes our relationship stronger and deeper.  When one is in love (at least for me) it enhances everything.  I trust him with my heart and life.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 7:15:16 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline
When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions? What are your feelings toward your partner? Do you do anything differnet? Noob questions I'm sure but I wonder how others feel in this matter.

Love is a powerful thing for me (i'm sure for everyone as well).  I'd be more willing to explore my dark expressions and openly share them...whereas otherwise...i'd test the waters before.  My fear is that I would love a (great) dominant in a much deeper way than I would say... a vanilla because for me...theres somethign different between a d/s and vanila relationship....hm now that I think about it...its a scary thing if i do find it.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 7:18:06 PM   
LPslittleclip


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when you care deeply and strongly for someone isnt that the definition of love? All of my expressions are happy and bright .  i feel lost without my M'Lady.

(in reply to littleone35)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/2/2008 7:47:10 PM   
quick


Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline
I have to love the man to trust him. When I trust him, everything is wonderful.

_____________________________

Life is too short to waste my time with insignificant people.


(in reply to LPslittleclip)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/3/2008 12:12:43 AM   
onthenosetone


Posts: 118
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
Never been one for casual play, I love my Ma'am and am submissive to her 24/7, we have no secrets, mind you it's 14 years now she's been inside my head so I couldn't keep a secret from her anyway

(in reply to quick)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Love and BDSM - 2/3/2008 9:29:02 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SunLord

When you love someone how does it effect you in relation to your dark expressions? What are your feelings toward your partner? Do you do anything differnet? Noob questions I'm sure but I wonder how others feel in this matter.

SL



for me it Intentisfies it!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SunLord)
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RE: Love and BDSM - 2/3/2008 10:18:03 AM   
sweetsubie


Posts: 82
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
I don't think i could ever be any ones sub without already loving them before or without the possibility of loving them. I sub because i love making my Master happy and if i didnt love him then there would simply be no point to me infact it would depress me greatly and i think it would lead me to resent him.

_____________________________

Sticks and stone may break my bones but whips and chains excite me!

(in reply to SunLord)
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