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RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:39:50 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

a compliment can be a compliment without intent to hit on someone.  I regularly compliment people that I have no sexual interest in.
A come on is exactly that.  "Come on, lets fuck"


The problem is that what is a compliment to one person can be a come on to another. And the same string of words could be both from different people! Ahh... the complex nature of human interaction.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:40:39 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
a compliment can be a compliment without intent to hit on someone. 

So how will you accurately interpret that persons INTENT and how does that change your reaction?

quote:


A come on is exactly that.  "Come on, lets fuck"

So unless I say those exact words, anything else is completely appropriate and fine?

I'm not saying that anything anyone else does or says is ok, I'm simply saying that we're grown ups living in a grown up world.  Going from 0-60 just because someone finds you attractive and comes on to you doesn't leave anyone happy- very overreacting IMO.  I AVOID drama.

Why don't people try a level 5 response or 10 first to see how that goes? 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:41:15 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I tend to be oblivious when someone is flirting with me  but those times when a woman looks at my dom in 'that way' I get a rather satisfied feeling inside.Because he chose me .

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:42:25 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

I find it funny that I'd be someone's worst nightmare by looking cute and harmlessly flirting. Really that sub has worse problems than me at that point if they are so weak or their relationship is so unrealistic.


Not just that but the fact that it's looked upon as some sort of sub's "test."  If someone doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, freaking out if a girl flirts with him isn't going to help matters.



agreed.  however if it appears that one is flirting back with no attention to that fact that one is owned can be cause for concern. 

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:43:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
I tend to be oblivious when someone is flirting with me  but those times when a woman looks at my dom in 'that way' I get a rather satisfied feeling inside.Because he chose me .

Yeah someone else has good taste, he must obviously be a threat, nightmare, and completely eliminated!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:44:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atursvcMaam
agreed.  however if it appears that one is flirting back with no attention to that fact that one is owned can be cause for concern. 

Only if you have a dominant who overreacts, doesn't get all the information, or doesn't train you on appropriate responses.

At that point the problem becomes a weakness in the dominant.

Also remember, many subs are set out as bait and are SUPPOSED to attract attention and new possible playmates.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to atursvcMaam)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:49:20 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

My man is gonna kick his ASS! Hes not a Master that would put up with that kind of BS. was in the Military and he is an expert marksman with both hands. He keeps the guns at the side of the bed loaded. he protects me. Just the way a Master should.


He'd beat you up just 'cause someone hit on you? What if they honestly didn't know you are spoken for?


not me, the dude!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:51:37 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

My man is gonna kick his ASS! Hes not a Master that would put up with that kind of BS. was in the Military and he is an expert marksman with both hands. He keeps the guns at the side of the bed loaded. he protects me. Just the way a Master should.


He'd beat you up just 'cause someone hit on you? What if they honestly didn't know you are spoken for?


not me, the dude!


I meant the dude but why? For someone just hitting on you, especially if they didn't know you were taken, that seems extremely overkill and frankly, kinda scary. They aren't threatening you, they are expressing that they find you attractive.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 5:57:43 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline 		That is why i said at first to discuss it with the Dom/Domme so that there is little or no room for error or misunderstanding.
  There was a lot of room for interpretation in the original post, so i answered generically.  it is, however quite a hot topic,

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:03:22 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
I tend to be oblivious when someone is flirting with me  but those times when a woman looks at my dom in 'that way' I get a rather satisfied feeling inside.Because he chose me .

Yeah someone else has good taste, he must obviously be a threat, nightmare, and completely eliminated!
 Huh?What's wrong with me feeling happy because he loves me?I don't know how on earth you pulled 'threat, nightmare or eliminated' out of my two sentences.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:04:52 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Also remember, many subs are set out as bait and are SUPPOSED to attract attention and new possible playmates.


*g*  While we are not bait for new playmates, Alandra and I are often dressed to attract attention.

I remember one event when we were walking through the vendor area.  She and I were a few steps behind him.  One of the vendors turned around and saw me, his eyes got huge, all he said was "WOOF!!" and I don't think his eyes rose above my breasts.  Given his expression and tone of voice, I took it as a compliment though I know I am not a gay man.  I just smiled at him and kept walking.  Later we introduced ourselves to him and his girl.  When I told my Lord about it later, he laughed and called me a slut.  As a note, when we are at events, we are usually in collar so there is little doubt that we are taken.

Most often it is gay men who come onto my Lord when we are at events.  Alandra and I enjoy watching it and I think he enjoys the attention as well.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:06:34 PM   
atursvcMaam


Posts: 1195
Joined: 5/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65
I tend to be oblivious when someone is flirting with me  but those times when a woman looks at my dom in 'that way' I get a rather satisfied feeling inside.Because he chose me .

Yeah someone else has good taste, he must obviously be a threat, nightmare, and completely eliminated!
 Huh?What's wrong with me feeling happy because he loves me?I don't know how on earth you pulled 'threat, nightmare or eliminated' out of my two sentences.

it wasn't you, she was still bristling at my response post.  sorry that it got carried over.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:10:01 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to atursvcMaam)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:12:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I wasn't bristling, I was being sarcastic Camille.  I was agreeing with your point and mocking the other simultaneously.  You take it as a compliment, someone else takes it as a nightmare.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:14:03 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
Most often it is gay men who come onto my Lord when we are at events.  Alandra and I enjoy watching it and I think he enjoys the attention as well.

Knight's Kyra

LOL that's so funny because that happens to my partner too!  I often tease that one day I'm just going to drop him off at a gay bar so I can have the place to myself for a night.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:18:53 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		~fast reply~ 

yes it has happened in the past, no we did not freak out or over react to a flirtation.  Neither of us were so insecure in our relationship that a compliment or flirt was taken as a threat to what we had.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:20:22 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, it's a come on and not meant as a compliment, just a come on.

_____________________________

i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to atursvcMaam)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:20:57 PM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I wasn't bristling, I was being sarcastic Camille.  I was agreeing with your point and mocking the other simultaneously.  You take it as a compliment, someone else takes it as a nightmare.
 Well I could feel the sarcasm but didn't understand the direction, thanks.

_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:23:20 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Yes, it's a come on and not meant as a compliment, just a come on.


Well, I tend to think that come ons are also compliments.  Someone comes on to me because they find something about me attractive; seems like a compliment to me.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 6:27:15 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07
Yes, it's a come on and not meant as a compliment, just a come on.

If you don't want him coming on to you, tell him where to get off.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 40
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