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RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 7:05:42 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I don't think it really matters 'what' is said more than the manner in which it is said.
Is someone trying to take your SO over to the side, to make sure you don't hear?
Are they waiting for you to go get a drink or use the restroom because what they have to say can't be said in front of you?
Do they give your SO a 'weird' look, (one that conveys chemistry even across the room) which leaves you out?
If so, they MAY be trying to do something naughty...

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 7:08:03 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him? Or someone came on to him right in front of you? How did you handle it or or did you just ignore them and walk away?

This has never happened to me.  If someone came on to me...I wouldnt know it unless they were constantly doing that one eyed wink thing (i never look for cues if someone is making a move on me ...unless i'm into them but stil dont pay that much attention) If someone was to make a move on a/"my" dominant...I wouldnt do much of anything.  He's with me, he can handle himself and I trust he knows what to do.  In the meantime...I'll just enjoy the entertainment.

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 8:19:43 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him? Or someone came on to him right in front of you? How did you handle it or or did you just ignore them and walk away?


Daddy would be all puffed up and proud that someone else found his slave appealing....i'd be either totally oblivious, or be embarassed to noticed.

kitten

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/2/2008 9:18:24 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		Between my collar and my engagement ring, I am very rarely hit on.  I get compliments and witty banter here and there, but nothing like a come on.  While my Dominant wouldn't throw him across the room, he would make it crystal clear that he owned me.

It would flatter me and stroke my ego.

If someone hit on my Dominant, it would make smile and want to take him home and ravage him.




_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 5:04:28 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him? Or someone came on to him right in front of you? How did you handle it or or did you just ignore them and walk away?


So far this hasn't happened but i love when other women flirt with my Master, i take it as a compliment.  i don't know exactly how Master would deal with a come-on in front of Him but He's a pretty in-control Man and has this way about Him that would make no mistake about what is His and any admiration of what is His must be done from afar.  Look, but don't touch, in other words.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 5:24:40 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		A come on is a compliment - and I thank them and refuse.  If they rudely persisted I would tell them I was a little out of their league.  Anything beyond that and Darcy would hold his own.
In either scenario, regardless who was come onto, we would both be good humoured about it
People come onto Darcy and it's (again) a compliment.  I have no insecurities, so a come on is no issue.
Although we would laugh about it afterwards.  And probably be pretty turned on - so it only enhances our sex life.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 5:48:21 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
a compliment can be a compliment without intent to hit on someone. 

So how will you accurately interpret that persons INTENT and how does that change your reaction?

quote:


A come on is exactly that.  "Come on, lets fuck"

So unless I say those exact words, anything else is completely appropriate and fine?

I'm not saying that anything anyone else does or says is ok, I'm simply saying that we're grown ups living in a grown up world.  Going from 0-60 just because someone finds you attractive and comes on to you doesn't leave anyone happy- very overreacting IMO.  I AVOID drama.

Why don't people try a level 5 response or 10 first to see how that goes? 


I'm not saying that those exact words need to be said. Just the attitude.  I've never had a problem determining the difference between compliment and come on.  *shrug*  I'm not sure HOW I know, maybe the vocal inflections, maybe body language, maybe something else entirely... or any combination of these things.
I'm not saying a come on is a BAD thing, like others have said, I consider it complimentary.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 11:51:33 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		Isomeone came on to me in front of my Master he would tell them she is mine move along.  If they did not i think my Master would either forciable move the guy along or just ignore him and walk away with me.  If someone came on to my Master in front of me i would be flatered that they see how handsome my Master is, but my claws would come out.  I know Master would also be flattered but refuse any come ons cause i am his one and only.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 12:21:06 PM   
vampchick88


Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
Status: offline 		  I'm a Domme and have had this happen right in front of my by a past sub who I was considering. At first I thought it was just lite flirting chatter, but when he said "Hey why don't you stop by my place tonight and we can see what'll happen" I went slightly psycho. he said it was no biggie he flirted with this girl all the time and knew she'd never show up. I viewed it as disrespectful, idiotic, and just fucked up. Needless to say we no longer chat and that pretty much ended things there.

My advise would be to talk to the person, tell them your thoughts and ask why they're doing this. I'm the sort who likes to know fully where they stand, how secure things are, and how important I am. If I feel I'm unappreciated then I'm gone.

_____________________________

Proud owner of rubberpet, the best investment of my time, trust, and heart that any Domme could ever dream of.

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 2:31:58 PM   
Ostentatious


Posts: 98
Joined: 7/2/2007
Status: offline 		I've been given phone numbers by dommes when I was out with my ex partner.  I handled it by saying, thanks very much.

No need to offend anyone, you don't need to call them, we are all grown ups and I'd rather be with someone everyone wanted than no one wanted :)

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 2:41:03 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		FR

I am really not seeing how this scenario is any different than any other couple, vanilla or no, in the world.  People make passes.  You deal with it and move on. 

Or is there something more complicated that I am missing?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Ostentatious)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 3:59:22 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~

Being hit on is no big deal for me nor was it an issue with my former owner or with my curent. We are adults and mature enough to know that people will flirt with people irregardless if they are spoken for. This happens in regular life and it happens in the world of kink. My current uses enough common sense to allow me to take the initiatve when another crosses the line. 

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 6:27:25 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07
Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him?

No.  Most men, dominant or not, seem to have more sense than to do such a thing.
quote:

Or someone came on to him right in front of you? How did you handle it or or did you just ignore them and walk away?

As others have said, I'd take it as a compliment if another female came on to Him.  What would I do?  I wouldn't DO anything except follow His lead.  He's free to do as He pleases.  I don't decide for Him which women He responds to or how He responds.  Hopefully, if she's hot, I'll be included if she follows Him home.  Again, that's up to Him.............luci 

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 7:05:54 PM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		If i were approached while with my Master, i'd simply tell the Dom to speak to Him. No reason for me to get upset or take it badly unless the guy did so with a lack of respect -- for me as an individual or for my Master's position as my owner. That would probably be the only reason my Master would get upset too; if the Dom didn't accept my Master's decision or came on  in an offensive manner.

It is also not my place to get upset if someone propositions my Master. And as luci said, if i'm lucky maybe we'll both get to play!! *grin*


_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/3/2008 10:58:09 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him? Or someone came on to him right in front of you? How did you handle it or or did you just ignore them and walk away?


Scenario #1:  Someone coming on to the Kaptin.  Result:  Absolutely nothing, because He'd be completely oblivious to the come on unless I point it out to Him.
 
Scenario #2:  Someone coming on to me.  Result:  The Kaptin gets the pleasure of seeing me shoot down yet another dominant.  Unless, of course, it's someone about whom I've spoken with the Kaptin previously; in which case, I'd probably take him up on the offer.


< Message edited by Evanesce -- 2/3/2008 11:03:52 PM >

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/4/2008 12:31:39 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him? Or someone came on to him right in front of you? How did you handle it or or did you just ignore them and walk away?


Personally, I love to flirt and I'm quite good at it generally giving back as good if not better than I ever get. Himself is just amused when those situations arise.

That said, I've had men grab my hair, touch me without permission and other sorts of things that you just don't do if you have any social skills at all and people of that ilk are dealt with in an appropriate manner depending on the venue. Sometimes that calls for a few choice words, other times leaving is more appropriate. Either Himself or I have always been able to deal with such situations.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/4/2008 7:30:13 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Some subs are allowed to play with others, some aren't. How is anybody to know what your protocols are in such a case without talking to you? Or do you wear a placard saying you aren't allowed to talk to other men/dominants/ human beings without permission?

Take it as a compliment. Say "I appreciate the thought but I don't play with others" and then talk about the weather. Just like you would if you were at any other kind of party.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/4/2008 9:54:27 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Oh heck.  I flirt all the time, it is my personality.  I view people flirting as a harmless thing.  One either picks up and runs with it, or you just smile politely, give a playful grin back and move on to other topics.  It is basic human interaction. 
If I was with a mate then he of course would have my full attention.  If someone were to approach me it does not change my dynamic.  I would have the skills to be charming and still diffuse the flirtation as I always have.  Why would my mate expect less of me than who I am?  Why punish someone for another persons actions and your response?  Unless of course I unbuttoned that guys shirt and kissed his chest, or handed him my business card and told him to call me at a better time, it is just normal life.
Flirting happens.
Hopefully people are adult enough to know how to deal with it, on all sides.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to atursvcMaam)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Has this ever happened to you before? - 2/4/2008 9:57:11 AM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takenbyjohnr07

Have you ever been with your Dominant and another Dominant came on to you right in front of him?


Yes, it has happened. I ignored it, I'm owned by a man but much prefer women(like 99%) so other men hitting on me is a laugh to both of us.

quote:

Or someone came on to him right in front of you?


I try to judge his reaction, if he seems interested I try to back off and blend in..letting her know he is available and she doesn't need to concern herself with my presence. If he isn't interested he usually shuts it down pretty fast.

< Message edited by BeingChewsie -- 2/4/2008 9:59:50 AM >

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to takenbyjohnr07)
Profile   Post #: 59
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