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Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 5:33:01 PM   
Willowmoon


Posts: 227
Joined: 9/25/2007
Status: offline 		This is more aimed at those that are in Master/slave relationships where both sides of the equation really know each other and each others limits.

When you are doing a scene with your partner do you still discuss it before hand so that both sides know what is going to happen or does the Master do what ever he wants without discussion first?

For us I usualy have no idea what he is going to do with me and I like it this way. When a scene has been disucssed in advance I find that I can't relax into them as part of me holds back thinking okay next he is going to do this or that or whatever it is.

I am his slave to my mind that means he can do what he wants with me when he wants without discussion of it first.
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 5:48:58 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		MasterK knows my limits. He is  completely free to do anything else that is not a limit. We do not discuss what is going to happen during a play session, it's fully his decision.

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formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to Willowmoon)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 5:49:15 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Willowmoon

When you are doing a scene with your partner do you still discuss it before hand so that both sides know what is going to happen or does the Master do what ever he wants without discussion first?


If it's something we haven't engaged in with each other previously, we discuss it.  And we'll probably discuss it afterwards as well.
 
After that, it's Katie bar the door (unless there is a compelling reason to the contrary). 
 
We will still dissect scenes out of mutual interest, and the development of mutual understanding.  And sometimes out of unilateral or mutual concern. 
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Willowmoon)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 5:51:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

The idea is that you've already discussed all the relevant points BEFORE you make the commitment to eachother.  Everything after that should be just additional paintstrokes and highlights.

Each relationship is different.  Since *I* more often than not don't know what a scene will entail beforehand, I can't possibly discuss it with them first.

And this isn't a Ms issue, it's a personal relationship/kinky play issue.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to Rover)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 5:57:09 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		We don't discuss things first. I do tell him if I am wanting something in particular and he decides if and when that happens. For me the biggest rush is not knowing what he is going to do until he does it.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:03:13 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Unless it is something new or if I have asked for something in particular then it isn't discussed beforehand.

We discussed things that we both enjoy and don't enjoy way before I became his slave and committed to him.

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Willowmoon)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:05:14 PM   
Dari


Posts: 192
Joined: 10/8/2007
Status: offline 		I'll discuss anything that I'm not sure they'll enjoy long before the actual employment of a certain element.  Depending on that will determine how we will proceed.  I rarely plan out scenes and then discuss them, and I don't really need agreement.  Walking in the door, or obeying the command to kneel gives me consent to play in the relationships in which I am engaged.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:16:35 PM   
takenbyjohnr07


Posts: 787
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sometimes he will give me an idea, especially when i have not tried something before, other than that everytime is his decision and what he is in the mood for. Which is usally exactly what i'm in the mood for. We don't play or scene, we just do.

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i am the sole property of Johnr. He is the love of my life and the greatest Owner and i will live to serve and, please him only every day of my life.

(in reply to Willowmoon)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:16:39 PM   
beltainefaerie


Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		Unless it is something we've never done before, there is no discussion. Even then, the discussion may take place well in advance of the scene, so I still don't know when it may happen.

(in reply to Dari)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:22:25 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		D/s not M/s but we rarely discuss stuff ahead of time. I know it's supposed to build anticipation but with me it usually sets off anxiety, even if it's stuff we've done a hundred times before. But I do get told if he wants to play that night, so I can try to get myself in the mood, make sure dinner is done early, etc. And because sometimes I'm just not up to stuff, which he would rather know about than have to end things suddenly and try to calm me down.

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(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:23:28 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		the only discussion we have is "how much are you up to today?"  some days i can take a lot more, some days i cant.  right now i'm sitting here sore as all get out from bites and bruising...and he took it easy on me.  *grins*

kitten

(in reply to beltainefaerie)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 6:27:18 PM   
salilus


Posts: 201
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline 		He doesn't discuss it with me - he doesn't need to... unless he needs me to do something beforehand. Even then, I only know that he's going to, for instance, use needles on me because he has me take the syringes apart for him. He does what he likes and I like that.

(in reply to Willowmoon)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 7:15:47 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

This is more aimed at those that are in Master/slave relationships where both sides of the equation really know each other and each others limits


If this is indeed the relationship I am in then there is no need for any prior discussion


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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to Willowmoon)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 7:32:21 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		In my past relationship the only time we dicussed things before hand is if we were going to venture into something that was new or that might cause me stress to have suprised upon me. For instance, dealing with something I was in apprehension of. Not something that was a hard limit but something I was willing to try but that scared the hell out of me.

I don't like certain kinds of suprises, I react badly to them.

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Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

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(in reply to swtnsparkling)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 7:50:29 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		We would only discuss it if ....others would be involved....or...if He were teasing (testing) me before beginning.

~Christina

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~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to akisha)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 7:54:32 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		To discuss beforehand - only if it were something not done before or if it were something that would test my limits and he would know those because we would be openly communicating throughout the relationship.    

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 7:55:52 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		We occasionally discuss things before hand. We have been known to discuss future play while in the midst of play. It makes for great scene talk. I tell him what I have planned because it excites him and the anticiption makes things a it more intense. If I am considering something majorly different that he had never done we will probably discuss it so he isnt completely taken off guard. He never bjects when I decide out of no where to play, but since we are still somewhat unsure of how he will take certain forms of aggression conversation is the better course.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 7:57:12 PM   
gcarlos


Posts: 98
Joined: 8/29/2007
Status: offline 		For the most part, no.  Master and i don't discuss the actual scene before hand.  We do discuss my desires, my fantasies and things i am interested in trying.  But it is Master who decides what we do and do not do.  And as his slave, i respect his decisions.

Best,
Their {girl}

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 8:08:13 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		The beauty of a long term relationship for us is that Master can be completely spontaneous and I have nothing to worry about. He knows me- my moods, my temperment, my body language, the sounds I make, even the way I breathe, and I can pretty much be assured that ANYTHING he does isn't going to hurt me permanently, and I will be fine-both physically and emotionally. I trust him because I know him in the same way. I can't imagine playing this way with someone I didn't know as well, because I don't think I'd ever feel completely safe and relaxed enough to let go and put myself completely in someone else's hands. More casual play never let me feel as submissive as I do now. We sometimes talk about scenes, just because it's an interesting subject to us, but not from a position of negotiation or discussing limits. Have I ever been totally shocked and surprised at something he's done? Absolutely, but I lived to tell an enjoyable tale! Even if it's something new, I can trust Master enough to know it wouldn't violate core values we both share.

< Message edited by ChainedExistence -- 2/2/2008 8:09:04 PM >

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
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RE: Play between Master/slave is it dicussed first? - 2/2/2008 8:28:31 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'm accustomed to doing whatever the fuck I want without discussion.  If I say anything beforehand, it's to get into her head.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Willowmoon

When you are doing a scene with your partner do you still discuss it before hand so that both sides know what is going to happen or does the Master do what ever he wants without discussion first?

(in reply to Willowmoon)
Profile   Post #: 20
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