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The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 7:50:19 AM   
LadyHathor


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On a rerun of House last night, it dealt with a "female" who was really a male because the ovaries had turned to testicles and not "dropped"---the comment was--" She/he is the perfect woman"---it seems we are all born neutral and they drop or they don't---
 
That brings Me to the topic of strap-ons--there seems to be this belief among boys that all Dominas require and use a strap-on--that what we seek to gain in power is a phallic symbol-- a penis if you will--envy and retaliation that it didn't drop--in fact many if Us can cite emails ad nauseum where the fantasy of boys is the RIP of the anus with a dildo--like that will take away their manhood and make them a simpering, docile creature ( Me thinks an old fashioned lobotomy would work better...) and that women gain their power by having a plastic penis---making us in effect men in women's bodies by the clinical definition---gaining power from the phallic symbol--WTF???

"ooohh Mistress, I will bend for you and let you f*** my lowly ass with your all powerful strap-on/phallic symbol and when done, will be your forever lowly servant---"---
 
uhm yeah---ok--so here is My opinion---a strap-on doesn't give Me more or less power--its a sexual apparatus---like a vibrator--neither changes Me as a woman--I am as strong before, during amd after--and that "toy" doesn't  make a bit of difference in who I am--in fact, I at times think it gives away My control because so many boys want ass play---and honey if you think it will emasculate you--pffft think again--you will live with the resulting feelings, masturbate to those, and go right back to the man you were before you got your rocks off---so it seems to Me that feeling One is a better woman with a strap-on says envy that One is not a man--or as good as a man, cuz the stuff didn't drop---
 
So My question posed is: What does the strap-on mean to you, if anything.
 
 
 
 

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/3/2008 7:51:51 AM >


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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 8:37:18 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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My strap on is just another toy.    I  like them in unnatural colors, preferably with glitter.  It's way fun to do dick dances, and have fencing matches with other dommes!   I almost never use them, though.

If I want to feel powerful penetration play, I FIST.  My hands have nerve endings, and I can control those fingers.  That plastic thing?  Just a plastic thing.  A cucumber, ear of corn, banana, big candle, would all accomplish the same task.  I will still be the alpha dominant that I was at the beginning of the day, and my playmate will still be himself.  I require no artificial enhancements to feel more powerful as a female, or as a person.



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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 8:43:01 AM   
Lashra


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Its a way of getting to his prostrate without getting my hands dirty  Seriously though its just an implement that I use and nothing more. I have no envy, I love having an "inny" as opposed to an "outtie". I don't see any power attached to the implement itself the power comes from the within the one wearing it. Somehow I do not think a guy would get very exciting with a Mistress wearing a strapon who was doing her nails and watching soap operas while it was in his ass

~Lashra


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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 8:45:28 AM   
LadyHathor


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 dick dances??? OMG how funny is that--the cha cha slide with a fuschia dick----I am on the floor---

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 8:48:33 AM   
DiurnalVampire


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The strap on is simply an easier way to use a toy, freeing up my hands or other endevours while still being able to give Fox certain sensations that get fantastic results. I dont want a penis, and I am rather happy I dont have one. I could do the same things I do with a strap-on with a toy inmy hand, with the same results but with a rather tired arm. The harness is simply a conveninece. If it were somewhere other than strapped to my crotch as if it were a true "penis" then I would still use it. I wonder about all the men (sub or otherwise) that think the placement of a strapon there is becasue we secretly desire their genetelia.  You find me somepolace more effective to maniplulate that device from, and I will happily restrap.

I want the results, I dont care what the device is that gives it to me.

DV 

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 8:57:27 AM   
ShaktiSama


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To me it's a toy, and I seldom strap it to my body because I prefer to control it with my hand--it gives me far greater control of angle, allows me to corkscrew twist as it goes in and out, etc..  The bodily impact of driving the tool with your hips and thighs is very intimate and has its virtues as well, but my body isn't really well-configured for that--it feels uncomfortable and usually hurts my lower back.

The issue isn't just what it means to ME to use that tool, though, in whatever way.  The issue is what it means to the man or woman on the receiving end of the penetration.  And the subjective emotional experience of being penetrated and surrendering to whatever pleasure, pain and/or humiliation goes with it?  Is going to vary from person to person, male and female. 

The issue of the strap-on as a symbol of maleness is an interesting one, just from an intellectual point of view.  I would definitely say that we live in a male-dominated society and that most of the men we encounter will believe, either fully consciously or subconsciously, that Power is gendered male.  Some of them will feel that for a woman to assume Power, she must assume trappings of maleness to express it.

We are not the first society to associate power with gender:  if you look at ancient Egyptian portraits of the female pharoah Hatshepsut, she is wearing a false beard--even if she was a woman, she was still officially the "son" of the dominant Egyptian god at the time (I believe it was Amun?  Not sure.).  So for the Egyptian mindset, Adult + male = power.

Similarly, that fringe of beard that older women sometimes grow after the mid-life hormonal shift was a symbol of mystical power and authority, among the peoples of the Northwest Coast--chieftain masks in British Columbia are depictions of the bearded Goddess Dzonoqua, and men would hold that depiction of Her face over their own before standing to speak in public gatherings.  So for the Kwakawakh mindset, Older + female = power.

Similarly, submission and victimization are gendered, in some societies--including our own.  I personally veer away from any submissive who self-identifies as a "sissy" for this reason--it's just a turn-off for me when a man associates femininity with powerlessness.  Men who use their female identities to empower themselves, or to become beautiful or express some valued part of themselves--I am fine with!  Have photographed two very glamorous t-girls and really enjoyed the experience.  But a man who feels the need to feminize in order to be victimized is not going to find a sympathetic partner in me. 

<----Unrepentent Feminist signing off.

< Message edited by ShaktiSama -- 2/3/2008 9:41:36 AM >


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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 9:53:39 AM   
SolangeRichards


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quote:

Men who use their female identities to empower themselves, or to become beautiful or express some valued part of themselves--I am fine with! Have photographed two very glamorous t-girls and really enjoyed the experience. But a man who feels the need to feminize in order to be victimized is not going to find a sympathetic partner in me.


Agreed.....

It's always great to see someone comment on that subject who  "gets it".

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 5:07:32 PM   
hands0n0knees


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quote:

But a man who feels the need to feminize in order to be victimized is not going to find a sympathetic partner in me. 


Oh, but he's surely a victim of the patriarchy, too.

The favouring of activity (in the form of being the penetrator) over passivity has been around since Plato.  The most interesting dissection of sexual power hierarchies are the accounts of ship life from the eighteenth/nineteenth century.  Attention spans aren't what they used to be (mine certainly isn't) so I won't go into full detail, but, essentially, fucking someone has long been thought as is an assertion of power: something to be wielded over women, boys, and effete characters.  No, there's no transcendental justification for the power of penetration, but the person in that position has historically been considered to be in the active role.  With that history in place, there's nothing especially disgraceful at recognising it and utilising it in your sexual subjectivity; perhaps it's not progressive, but does everything have to be?  And if you insist on it being so, you could easily make the case (in fact, you did) that the strap-on can be used to show a man that being penetrated isn't necessarily a submissive position....although that's not my particular experience.

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 5:39:21 PM   
ShaktiSama


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hands0n0knees
Oh, but he's surely a victim of the patriarchy, too.


*grins*  Everyone is, babydoll. 

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 7:24:21 PM   
MzStripes


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I'd have to agree...it's just another toy in my toybag. Of course, I have different colors, sizes and textures...just like other toys. I have ones that strapon and those that are used by hand. I have ones that are barely felt and those that would um, well bare the soul....        Usually, they are used prior to another pleasure of mine...fisting...

Mz Stripes

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 7:42:14 PM   
MamaDomme1


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~~FR~~

I've never been fond of strap-ons but do enjoy using hand held toys.  And I have absolutely no desire to be male or to have male attributes.

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 9:37:06 PM   
LaMistressa


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I love strap on play (with women as well as men), but I don't care for using it as a humiliation tool. I just like them because they are fun, and anal sex is fun. Maybe I am too simple a person or something by just enjoying the activity for its own sake, but I don't spend a lot of time analyzing the phallocentric aspects of it. Sometimes a cigar is a cigar, and sometimes a dildo is just a dildo, you know? 

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/3/2008 11:39:21 PM   
Shawn1066


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I'm a huge believer in symbolism.  I love it and I think it's very interesting.

That being said, I don't really find any in strap-on play. *shrugs*

People take symbolism too far a lot, and more often than not it sounds like bunk.

Despite my (heavy) feminist leanings, I've never been a believer in all the psychobabble regarding the phallus.  Sometimes(Most of the time) a phallus is just a phallus and it's not some symbolic subjegator.  Something phallic in nature is just the same thing.

So, excuse me if I don't buy into the symbolism of the phallus.  It's insulting and it only gives men an ego trip.  By saying that there's that much symbolism in the phallus...people are actually starting to make the silly lie true!  And that's terrible.

Now, I -do- believe we're all victims of Patriarchy, by and large.  Socially, economically, etc....  But we'd also be victims of Matriarchy, and it'd be just as stupid.  Which is why I don't follow that particular train of thought that some people do.  Any extreme is terrible.

Just my two cents,
DV's Fox




< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 2/3/2008 11:45:21 PM >

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 7:02:55 AM   
pixelslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor
so it seems to Me that feeling One is a better woman with a strap-on says envy that One is not a man--or as good as a man, cuz the stuff didn't drop---


To me, this sounds a lot like allowing yourself to fall into the trap of trying be a "Cardboard Domme" instead of the Unique Dominant Woman that exists inside you.  I prefer a woman who is the latter, rather than one who's trying to be something she's not.
 
 - pixel
 
 "Resist Nothing & Welcome your Fears"
 


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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 7:28:25 AM   
cloudboy


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The question I have, LH, is how you like it?

I get the feeling some ladies see it as silly and stupid. If that's the case, they're gonna have problem with a sub eagerly awaiting such training.

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 8:09:57 AM   
DianeB269


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I do strapon training cuz, it's fun....


Diane

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 10:38:59 AM   
hands0n0knees


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

Sometimes(Most of the time) a phallus is just a phallus...



But your subconscious is seeing a cigar!



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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 11:01:00 AM   
solvr70


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

I do strapon training cuz, it's fun....

Diane


works for me. if it brings Her pleasure, being the one on my knees and taken hard, and of course pushing back hard, like a good bitch should be can be hours of fun

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 11:55:13 AM   
MissJana


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I enjoy strap on play alot, partially because my boys enjoy it so. I definitely have no need of being like a man to weild power. LOL.  There are times I truly believe there is more power in having a pussy.

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RE: The meaning of a strap on--or not - 2/4/2008 1:02:37 PM   
Shawn1066


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hands0n0knees

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

Sometimes(Most of the time) a phallus is just a phallus...



But your subconscious is seeing a cigar!





A cigar shaped UFO, maybe. :-p

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