RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/5/2008 7:48:22 PM

youngsubgeoff

Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline

hmmm... I think my submissive nature was always there. It took me some exploration with my girlfriends in high school to really understand and realize what I am.

If you were to meet me in a vanilla context, most people would not peg me as a sub. I do not simply submit to anyone. It takes alot of trust and caring between myself and my partner before I am willing to submit.

_____________________________

You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

(in reply to Feric)

Post #: 21

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/6/2008 10:45:54 PM

Feric

Posts: 227
Joined: 1/9/2008
From: San Francisco
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UndreamtHeaven

Wow, this is my very first post on this message board and it couldn't be a better topic for me.

It seems I am a rare type of person on this site as I was raised with my role as submissive. Not sexually speaking ( I discovered that later).

I was raised by my grandparents and it was just taught that you look after your man, wash, cook, clean, above all respect and follow his wishes. On the flip side, he taught me how a woman should be treated, love, honour, respect because she gives so much of herself to running a home.
I was taught how to cook, clean and run a house, pay bills, go shopping daily for the freshest food, scheduleing. I learned differnt forms of respect in different cultures too. (ie never look a man in the eyes when you are talking to him, face him but keep your eyes down, that is second nature to me now).
All these skills have suited me well over the years, I have a job I like and have gained advancement easily though the way I treat my boss.

I think I am a true submissive through upbringing. And it seems I don't hear of this often enough, is it becoming a lost trait?

Yes, it is becoming a lost trait. I cannot count the number of times my buddies have bemoaned the loss of the traditional (read: 1950's) woman. Many men would kill to have you in their life! I think you're going to be very sought-after!

_____________________________

A figure of startling and unexpected nobility...

(in reply to UndreamtHeaven)

Post #: 22

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 5:46:20 AM

TotalState

Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline

Good point!

In most nature v.s. nurture questions, I generally tend to go with 80% nature, 20% nurture. Of course, it varies from person to person as well, since human beings are extremely complex. But overall, I think our natures have a bigger effect, yet are tempered by nurture to a (surprisingly?) high degree.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

It's (another) Nature vs. Nurture question really. Whether its innate or learned - or pushed onto you because of your situation/s.

the.dark.

_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 23

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 10:46:07 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

i had submissive/masochistic fantasies and play from early childhood but felt horrified and ashamed of them and overcompensated by becoming excessively dominant. this led to a difficult to live with dichotomy in my personality which is being resolved happily over my Dom's knee. it took me a long time to get here but WOW it's great!

(in reply to slaveadora)

Post #: 24

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 10:47:58 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

how can i get rid of this bloody ice cream cone??!! i resent the sobriquet 'vanilla'...i've paid enough in pain now to deserve something better!!!

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 25

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 10:50:19 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

ummmm first, just relax, the ice cream cone is not a personal dig at you or your kink

It is simply a reflection of how many posts you have made. Make enough posts, and the cone will vanish... almost like magic.

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/7/2008 10:59:51 AM >

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 26

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 12:51:57 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

the being a sub came before knowing what it was ... I have always looked to be in the power of Alpha males ... right from playgroup .. I always tidied away the toys of the boys I liked.

all the way through my childhood and teens I was pathetically devoted to pleasing the Alpha male in my peer group ... starting with homework ... ending with sweaty groping upstairs at parties

I didn't get all lifestyle about it until maybe 17 when i started going out to night clubs .. there was a big fetish club that we always used to stand and stare at .. was finally snuck in just after I turned 18 by a boyfriend

The rest ... as they say ... is history

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

Post #: 27

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 12:55:05 PM

imber

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Feric

When did you first know you were submissive? Did you always know, or did it occur to you during a relationship? Do you think it's inborn, or a reaction to your position in life?

For me, and I cannot speak for other people, i have always known it... i have always succumed to the Alpha Male, be it on the playground, or in middle school, or high school.... it is just somehting that i think was inborn for me.

*changed 1 word LoL *

< Message edited by imber -- 2/7/2008 12:56:12 PM >

_____________________________

That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.

(in reply to Feric)

Post #: 28

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 1:03:55 PM

imber

Posts: 51
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Feric

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesui

quote:

ORIGINAL: Feric

Do you think it's inborn, or a reaction to your position in life?

Can you explain what you mean?

Well, for example, my own sub is an executive in a corporation. She is in command of many people, and she longs for someone to be in control of her. Ours is a D/s relationship based on total power exchange. I have heard from others that my sub's reaction is quite normal, but that other people are naturally submissive. I was attempting to find out if this was true.

i myself hold a *power* job, i am an armed security guard. It isn't that unusual for subs to have a *power* job. And yes i am submissive by nature :) In my job, i am the boss, i get to tell them where i want to go, which job site i want to work at... yada yada yada...... but my private life is my own.

_____________________________

That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 29

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 1:20:22 PM

lytehaze

Posts: 32
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline

I have had a submissive nature since I was (at the earliest identifiably submissive memory) 3-4 years old. True I can't remember a whole lot further back than that. But rather than argue the veracity of being a Dom/switch/sub baby, I'll just go ahead and generalize it as "since birth". However, I only learned about the terminology and corresponding community 1-2 years ago. So although I have been submissive all my life I only started identifying as/with a submissive only recently. Before then I was just an "odd duck with a crazy notion".

_____________________________

Obligatory disclaimer: Of course the above views are my own, as I can only speak for myself. Should others identify or disagree with my thoughts, that is their right. I in no way meant to offend, by malice or negligence any person or group.

(in reply to imber)

Post #: 30

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 1:43:19 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

ever since i can remember, i've been a big people-pleaser, have had a difficult, often impossible time refusing people anything, have always put the needs and wants of others above my own, have always naturally fallen into positions of subservience, etc...so it seems that i was born with a submissive personality. it has never been about anything i wanted, liked or desired, it just is. if asked to describe myself, i would have said i was weird, different, a mouse, doormat, etc...and i always desperately wanted to be "normal." when i was 18 someone clued me into the term "submissive" and i discovered it could be a beautiful and fulfilling lifestyle, not just a curse.

(in reply to slaveadora)

Post #: 31

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/7/2008 1:56:19 PM

Suzykeu

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline

i realised that i was a submissive when i was 16 and i discovered the lifestyle and found how it just fit so right with me. i'd always been a brat, hoping someone would put me in my place and at the same time i was always doing anything i could for other people.

(in reply to slaveadora)

Post #: 32

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/8/2008 5:04:13 AM

malloves69

Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline

the minute the ladys in my life started playing with my ass

first it was fingers .....then butt plugs ...then tease and denial

then the women found my prostate

boy i had some powerfull orgasms from that ...and i still do

then strapons 6in ones ....then 10 in ones that felt even better

and now when my mistress fists me im all hers and she can do whatever she likes

for me ass play sure can be addicting and i love it

LOVE pics of ladys who wear strapons ...and please make them big ones like bam

ok cold shower time ..have fun ..mal

(in reply to Suzykeu)

Post #: 33

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/8/2008 7:29:33 AM

bostoy

Posts: 18
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline

I actually discovered my submissiveness the day I met my Dom. I was just meeting him to find a play partner and when I saw him, I just knew I had to submit to him totally. It was an "a ha" moment for me. It was a wonderful feeling to discover my need to please and serve him.

toy

(in reply to slaveadora)

Post #: 34

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/8/2008 10:06:24 AM

BabyKittyKat

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline

Well, I realized I was a subbie, when I was 14. I had sex for the first time and I felt that something was missing. Sex was just plain boring. The second time (again with my bf) I asked him to tie my wrists to the bed`s leg and "rape" me. At that time I though I was the only one in the whole world who wants to be tied up, beaten, "raped", I felt really perverse and dirty, I have cried many nights because of that. And maybe 2-3 years later, thanks to the Internet, I found about BDSM and that was the first time I felt good about my sexual preferences. :)

_____________________________

Babygirl loves her Daddy!

(in reply to slaveadora)

Post #: 35

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/8/2008 11:37:53 AM

Araven

Posts: 149
Joined: 3/16/2006
Status: offline

I always had an inkling that I was submissive and enjoyed appealing and fulfilling the desires of others, but the first true time that I knew that I was submissive. The first true time though, was when I was upon my knees, kneeling before a certain special somebody *smiles* and it was our code for "i want to take this relationship further". The complete bliss, happyness, and contentment that I felt was incredibly amazing.

(in reply to Feric)

Post #: 36

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/8/2008 3:52:07 PM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

I believe it is an innate part of my personality. The first time I remember "feeling" submissive was at the age of nine.

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to Feric)

Post #: 37

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/8/2008 7:16:14 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
Status: offline

I've always had fantasies of BDSM. I don't remember when it started, probably when I became aware of my own sexuality?? The moment doesn't occur. No big psychological reason for it: it feels good. I like it.

I always felt kind of ashamed, because outside of the the bedroom I'm a very strong, decisive, capable woman. I'd go so far as to say I'm a control freak and a bit of a bitch. I always got involved with men who expected me to take charge in the bedroom like I do outside of it. My man loves me this way, which thrills me. He was also surprised to find me so submissive and willing to learn how to be his. He was more than happy to teach me to serve him. It's been fantastic on the job training!

For me, the submissiveness is only in our sex lives. In all other areas of our personal life, we're partners. In the bedroom, I'm his whore, and I'll do as I'm told. Outside of it, it's him and me versus the world.

(in reply to servantheart)

Post #: 38

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/10/2008 8:09:19 AM

MissMenagerie

Posts: 66
Joined: 2/10/2008
Status: offline

After dating a series of submissive, bisexual males, one finally put me in a position to be dominant, and I just didn't have it in me... no drive to dominate. Then I realized what needed, exactly what it was that I hadn't been getting, and eventually found a wonderful, strong natural dominant. It was just a natural need for me. When he was assertive, the punk, Aries, street-fighting me snapped...right into place.

(in reply to StormsSlave)

Post #: 39

RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub? - 2/10/2008 8:32:50 AM

allurette

Posts: 10
Joined: 9/22/2007
Status: offline

Well, I used to be an aircraft carrier, but then I started running under water. So I pretty much decided I was a Sub at that point. But no worries, I like having a lot of seamen in me.

hee hee.

_____________________________

allurette.

(in reply to Feric)

Post #: 40

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: When Did You Know You Were A Sub?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094