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Gifts - 9/7/2005 7:30:34 AM   
QueenVamp


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I met with a potential sub today, he was very nice and we might get together sometime in the future. The thing that struck me as odd was the fact that he gave me flowers as a gift. Now that was very nice and sweet and I love the flowers he brought, but it got me thinking about how out of place giving me flowers was. I mean, certainly as a woman it was flattering and I certainly am not given flowers often enough, but he's a sub. So it got me thinking about what good gifts might be. I mean, if you actually want to buy something for someone for your first meeting. So what would be a good present for a Mistress? A new cane perhaps? A flogger? Perhaps a inexpensive set of leather cuffs. With today's prices these can be bought still within budget and they will certainly last her longer than flowers will. And cause less questions by vanilla family members who know my husband doesn't buy me flowers. haha. I suppose the only issue a Mistress might have with recieving these items is the pressure of playing with you. A Mistress wants to play when SHE wants to play and not be forced to play with someone she is still 'deciding' on. So I suppose you'd have to add the comment that it was just to add to her collection and comes with no strings attached. :)

Honestly I had a sub bring me a single tail recently. He bought it while touring europe and knew I'd like it. He added when he gave it to me that in no way was I allowed to use it on him. haha. He was serious (the little wuss) but I laughed anyway and thanked it. It really was a great gift. :)

Feel free to post what 'first meet' gifts you think would be good / acceptable.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 7:50:38 AM   
lonewolf05


Posts: 830
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		dont know about you but where i was taught...ya bring 1 white rose and a couple of others for a 1st meet.........obligated...mandatory.!!!

wolf


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RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 8:01:25 AM   
cellogrrlMK


Posts: 672
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see what is wrong with flowers. Maybe Domme's are different, but I think flowers are a sweet gift. To expect anything more is a bit greedy, IMO.... but again, I'm not a Domme.

cello

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RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 8:13:52 AM   
QueenVamp


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not saying gifts are required. I was just thinking over what might be a more fitting gift to a Domme than flowers. Though I do love Wolf's idea of white roses. Though personally I'd never require them.

But lets see...bring your potentional Mistress flowers, or nipple clamps.... Personally I think I'd be more excited and thankful over the clamps. ;P

But as I said before...no gifts are ever required...at least, by me. ;P

(in reply to cellogrrlMK)
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RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 8:21:29 AM   
Veav


Posts: 150
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline 		I agree - I'm not sure why flowers are so out-of-place, regardless of dom/sub or whatever. I'm not saying I'd bring a dozen perfect roses on a first date, but a few lilies never hurt anyone!

Personally, I tie "flowers" to "romance", which isn't really appropriate per se for a first date so I tend to go with whatever amuses me. Gifts aren't always necessary - but being a furry, I found it entertaining to greet a visiting dom with a pair of furry handcuffs. They were cheap things, a gag gift; it wasn't trying to force an invitation, just a pun too good to pass up... }:D

I just find it interesting that you seem to be focusing on the flowers as inappropriate, when I'd be inclined to feel that cuffs (those actually intended for use, that is) are inappropriate for a first meeting, the same way it doesn't seem quite right for a slave to offer a master a collar to be worn. Something more mundane and imaginative would probably be good, ne?

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RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 8:33:09 AM   
fig


Posts: 17
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline 		chocolate?

(in reply to Veav)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 8:35:35 AM   
Veav


Posts: 150
Joined: 8/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fig
chocolate?

http://www.chocolatefantasies.com/eroticfetish.htm - take your pick!

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 8:40:05 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Gosh, now flowers are inappropriate for Dommes? Personally, I think it was a nice gesture and an inability to accept it as such shows a lack of graciousness. JMHO, of course.

I've read a lot of posts here from Dommes about how they want to be treated like a WOMAN and not some vehicle for fantasy fulfillment. I suspect you are in the minority.

Edited for double negatives

< Message edited by MsIncognito -- 9/7/2005 8:42:29 AM >

(in reply to QueenVamp)
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RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 10:10:43 AM   
solesta


Posts: 18
Joined: 7/3/2005
Status: offline 		If You have that troble Mistress of explaining flowers next time use the " I bought them for myself just because I felt like it." Usually that takes care of any questions. From hubby or family. * shrugs* Just trying ot help.

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 10:24:30 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Ack flowers! The last time I received flowers they were from a vanilla guy who wanted to go out with me. He brought them to my work, embarrased me in front of my boss. And he didn't get a date (but he wasn't going to anyway).

(in reply to solesta)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 10:58:50 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		We are all different.... I don't expect a gift but would have no objection to getting flowers on a first date.... getting a toy would be off putting to me as it would come across as pushy and a tad "do me" besides which might be doubling up on stuff

Something personal can be a good indicator of a sub who has listened.

Oumae

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Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
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(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 11:15:38 AM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Veav

I agree - I'm not sure why flowers are so out-of-place, regardless of dom/sub or whatever. I'm not saying I'd bring a dozen perfect roses on a first date, but a few lilies never hurt anyone!



I beg to differ about the lilies (as someone who is deathly allergic to them), but I do agree that there is nothing inappropriate about flowers, IMO.

Any small token that they wish to give is welcome. We don't ask, we definitely don't require ... and any boy who brought cuffs (or any other toy) to a first meeting would probably be sent home with them/it, as it implies that he's expecting playtime.

(in reply to Veav)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 11:29:50 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline 		I tend to agree with the majority.. a vanilla gift that shows they have been paying attention to my likes and dislikes since we began communication;flowers, candy, or a book about an area of interest of mine. Gifts/tribute are never required, but i do love them, and i would rather know they considered me a human and a woman before a Domme. If he had brought something play oriented, I agree, he would have taken that home, and the meeting would have been very short.

(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 11:47:42 AM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		I dont see anything wrong with bringing a fem dom or fem sub flowers during a first date. In fact, it impresses me that the male sub would think of you as something more than the first available vagina (how they often see me, apparently). I certainly wouldn't want sex gear as a gift from someone I don't know. Ah, to spend a day boiling new rope or a crop or leather cuffs in bleach to remove possible cum stains or germs and bacteria. I prefer picking out my own things and, if they are sent to me by a sub, having them shipped through an internet company.

I think there's more of an assumption to play if said first meet sub brings you a flogger or a paddle or a whip, rather than flowers, a box of Godiva chocolates, or perhaps a gift certificate to get a mani pedi at your local spa.

(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 11:54:12 AM   
Orbital


Posts: 15
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline 		I would personally find someone bringing me a whip or flogger to be a bit forward, as in "You want to skip the foreplay and get right to the good stuff, huh Eager Beaver?"

I think until someone knows your tastes you have to judge their gifts on the basis of what they intended with them, not what the actual result was.

(in reply to KittenWithaTwist)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 12:31:58 PM   
MissA


Posts: 192
Joined: 6/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenVamp
So what would be a good present for a Mistress? A new cane perhaps? A flogger? Perhaps a inexpensive set of leather cuffs...

...I suppose the only issue a Mistress might have with recieving these items is the pressure of playing with you. A Mistress wants to play when SHE wants to play and not be forced to play with someone she is still 'deciding' on.


I have had a submissive bring me flowers before and while it was thoughtful I have to be more inclined to lean toward buying me a toy I might enjoy instead. Of course I can understand if you are a Female Dominant seeking a sub and romance flowers are refreshing but being someone who doesn't incorporate sex into my play it was a little awkward. That and the fact that the purpose of the meeting was play, which does have a lot to do with it.
I think the appropriate gift, although I don't feel they're mandatory,
depends on the meeting's purpose. Are you two simply meeting the first time to get acquainted? I see no reason why a few flowers aren't a thoughtful gesture for that scenario or a "date" scenario. Meeting specifically for play however I would prefer a toy that I have expressed interest in and can use on the submissive should I wish to.

~Ms. A~

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 12:39:23 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		i usualy get occult books, horror movies and the such from my Dom when he brings me gifts, dont care mutch for flowers realy.

(in reply to MissA)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 12:56:01 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I sure would't shell out the cash for a flogger for someone I am just now meeting. Be realistic Queen vamp. Toys are expensive, anything worth having anyway.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 9/7/2005 1:26:26 PM >

(in reply to QueenVamp)
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RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 1:07:24 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

But lets see...bring your potentional Mistress flowers, or nipple clamps.... Personally I think I'd be more excited and thankful over the clamps. ;P


See, I'd be offended about the nipple clamps.

Think about it - am I going to wear them? Nope. So it's not a gift for ME in any way shape or form.

Flowers, on the other hand, ARE for me to enjoy...so far more appropriate in my opinion.

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~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Gifts - 9/7/2005 2:08:27 PM   
SirWaverider


Posts: 48
Joined: 8/23/2005
Status: offline 		okay okay here is my 2 cents........why worry about the reasoning behind the flowers?? long ago a gentleman would bring a lady flowers sometimes for no reason but only to make the meeting more pleasant. okay it may also have the meaning of romance....what';s wrong with just plain being a gentleman..sure he's a sub but why drive yourself crazy thinking of it as anything else than a friendly gesture and being a gentleman????

< Message edited by SirWaverider -- 9/7/2005 2:09:30 PM >

(in reply to QueenVamp)
Profile   Post #: 20
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