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Faeorie -> Thoughts on Online relationships (2/6/2008 4:57:30 AM)
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The criticism of online Domme/sub relationships...I have talked to some people on here who have told me they 'just don't get' online Domme/sub relationships, or that they are not for them. I can understand where a sub may not be strong enough to carry his/her end of online submission, but I don't see why more Dommes take advantage of all an online relationship has to offer. I'll name just a few here:
1.Fantasy: Storytellers, this is your niche! For individuals like me who are good at writing or who loves to write can find a wonderful creative outlet through email and instant messaging. She/He can create scenes that would not be possible otherwise. Hell, you can be as twisted or as detailed as possible, even delving into the realm of fantasy which would never be physically possible. The second advantage to fantasy is that it forces the sub to use his/her imagination, something that (sadly) most people don't see as important. Forcing a sub to use his/her imagination instead of just doing a task really shows just how much control you have over them. Having to imagine something vs. just enduring something... hrmm, I'd rather have them work for their pleasure.
2. Schedule: Sure, I'd love to be a Domme with unlimited time to devote to a sub. In a utopia, I'm sure that's the kind of life I would live... have a harem of slaveboys at my feet, serving me. But let's get real right? If you're like me you are more than just a Dom/Domme, you are a busy person who is striving to be sucessful, and have the career of their dreams. Ok, so sadly I see people like that slipping away as time passes on this world, I mean why work long and hard to specilaize in something where I can settle for a less specific position and get paid now? But until I reach that low, I will still be going to school and work towards becoming a Vet. It is a big dream and I plan on achieving it no matter what. This is where an online relationship comes in handy. My sub must take it upon himself to be online when I can. He must work his schedule around mine (which is very busy), thus solidifying my domination over him.
3. Familiarity: No relationship has to be strictly online. In fact, having an online relationship with your sub first before moving to a real life one will be better for the both of you in the long run. In an online relationship you develop trust, you learn more about each other than any interview in person could reveal. Having an online relationship takes away any awkwardness when or if you finally meet up for some real time play. Also, when the meeting time comes, the sub already knows what the Domme/Dom expects and wants from him/her, and the Domme/Dom knows the best way in which to handle their sub having already done it online.
4. Working harder: It's easy to understand how an online sub would have to work harder to please an online Mistress/Master. Since I cannot always see my sub (unless he uses a digital camera or webcam) he has to be able to believably describe to me how something looks or feels, and be able to apply toys or instruments of torture himself. A sub must be really good at what he does when he can shove a plug up his ass, apply clothespins and bind his own cock and balls at my order. Through my domination and direction my sub learns self discipline, which is much harder to learn than discipline from others.
5. Impersonality: It takes a real sub to serve a mistress he cannot see. Dominating a sub online makes everything a lot less personal, and keeps the sub form getting too full of himself. Sending pictures of yourself (plain or sexual) can be a form of reward for your sub because they don't normally get to see you. A sub may only meet his Mistress in person when he can prove to her online first that he is worthy of meeting and serving her. It's a great screening process, makes in-person meetings safer (see "online predators"), and you are more likely to get better performance from a sub if you train him online first, truly making him yours.
There are many more advantages to an online relationship, but these are the main ones I see. I talk to my subs online, explain what I would like to do to them (or what I may do if we ever meet), give them orders to follow, make them prove that they are following them, and I also give them assignments to work on during the day and complete before I speak with them again. And if they want to meet me in person? They have to prove that they are worthy of me, and also must earn the priveledge to be dominated in person by me.Some of you may disagree, and I don't really care. Online domination works for me right now, and seems to work for my subs as well.
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