RE: Count the Cost

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MasterFireMaam -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 10:05:35 PM)
I knew my soul mate for two months. I have been forever changed and am grateful for the time. Even though I didn't know that he would die, I knew going in that there would most likely be emotional pain involved in the relationship. I still did it and still think it was totally worth it. Master Fire

Phin -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 10:09:55 PM)
Breatheasone you have mail... but it is a large attachment...

breatheasone -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 10:18:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phin Breatheasone you have mail... but it is a large attachment... WOO HOO..... got to love those large attachments! [sm=banana.gif]

breatheasone -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 10:59:25 PM)
I have reconciled the answer to this OP in my own heart and mind....It was not easy for me, but I am "taking the joy" I have to. I wish I could explain it....but I KNOW this is where and who I was destine to be with. (as hokie as that sounds i'm sure) You can flog me till I'm raw.....but DON'T break my heart. I'm an emotional weenie.....I have been in a nice safe cocoon for 25 years or so....Then the Truth came into my life...His name is Mike. Its the stuff poetry is written about....That songs are written for.....its the Hollywood love story. Its what I thought was some cruel unattainable "myth" but then the Truth came into my life. I actually "get" love songs now... (and they don't make me roll my eyes anymore either lol) I am a little less then a year into this journey, and I know that Master and I have just skimmed the surface of whats to come.... That thrills me, and terrifies me.... So yeah....I'm taking the joy...and I'm SO glad most all of you, have or would do the same....It would be a CRIME not to. But you know what?...I really do understand those that just "can't".....and I'm sorry I understand it too, to be honest...but thats another thread I reckon.....

GreedyTop -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 11:06:02 PM)
hugs breathes...

Faeorie -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 11:44:56 PM)
Definately would go for it. But you have to make sure you're emotionally stable enough to handle the realization that there may come a time where you will end up without them. You need to be able to know beforehand that you can go on without that person, perhaps if things get too serious, and it seems to be "time" you may want to seek out a grief counselor. About two years ago my cousin married her high school sweetheart, they were only 20. He was a marine. She lived with the possibility of his death all the time. Right before his last deployment, she got pregnant with their first child, after about 4-5 months, he was shot and killed by a sniper in Iraq. They've only had about 3 years tops together, yet I know that she would never take it back, not for anything. Marine wives are some of the strongest women I've known.

MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 11:49:31 PM)
Jesus help me GreedyTop, I owe you an appology. I had no idea your clarity and sensitivity would result in such a true piece of prose. Perhaps it's because I'm older and have experiened muc in my life, but your words were poetic. Thank you.

MasterWilliam55 -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 11:57:45 PM)
The highs, the lows...you bet they are worth it.

AtlantaMistress -> RE: Count the Cost (2/6/2008 11:57:59 PM)
So many people spend their whole lives looking for love, and never find it. If you have found it...even if you know it will be short...you MUST NOT throw it away. Any one of us could die tomorrow - that's why I have the words below my signature. You must take every day and what it has to offer, and count your blessings. Each day you have with the one you love is a blessing. To add to the cliches and quotes - one of my favorite movie lines, from Steel Magnolia's "I'd rather have 15 minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special." I think you knew all of this already, but you are just scared, and needed the support of others to let you know you are doing the right thing. Don't ever let fear dictate how you live your life.

julietsierra -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 1:21:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone BTW.....no fair answering this question if you are an emotional masochist LOL [;)] I'm an emotional masochist and I can tell you, I would NEVER want this pain, so I don't think my emotional masochism sets me up to somehow quiver in anticipation of hurting that much. (I never want to hurt him at all, so it's not like I'm looking forward to either side of this). His sadism doesn't have him looking forward to hurting me like that either. It's why my we have promised to stick around for each other till he's 116 and I'm 106. I'm holding him to his promise. He's holding me to mine. And that means 10 years is going to be a drop in the bucket. Seriously though, death - facing his death - is something that always always scares me. I'd like to say it doesn't, but it does. We had a real bad time last night just getting home from work - ice, snow, rain, the works. It took me an hour and a half to make a 30 minute drive. It took him three hours to make a drive that usually takes him an hour and a half. I didn't relax until he called wanting to be sure I'd made it home safely and telling me that he was pulling into his driveway. When I said I was home, his first words were "good, I was worried about you." Just because it scares me though, despite my fears and my very heartfelt desire to somehow avoid the pain that this would bring, I have to say that yes, even if all I get is 10 years, I'll take that risk. He's worth it. juliet

RCdc -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 2:14:31 AM)
This is Darcy Absolutely - no question about it. I would rather have ten years of happiness, than a lifetime of wondering 'what if?' Were I to find out that *the.dark.* had but a year to live, then I would make sure that that year was so wonderful, so packed with memories, that once she was gone I would have volumes to remember, and by doing so she would be with me until the day I too shuffled off this mortal coil. Equally in life, as has been mentioned, none of us know how long we are here for. As I get older (I'm approaching 38 now, so not quite ready for my pension, but old enough to be acutely aware of my mortality) I do wonder just how long I have. I'd like to think that I'll be around for a few decades yet, but both *the.dark.* and I have lost friends along our life's journeys, which I think makes us cherish the time we spend together. I was driving along a main road in Nottingham at Christmas, on my way to visit my mother, when I was reminded of our mortality. The weather was foul, grey skies, driving rain, and it was just getting dark. I spotted a car pulled over to the side of the road, and a man kneeling at the front of it next to the prone body of a large black dog. At that moment I realised that somewhere, somebody was standing at their back door, calling for the their pet, their trusty companion, but that their calls were in vain. That dog was never coming home. It then occurred to me that at some point, someone we love will leave our side, whether going off to work, or to sleep, or to the supermarket, and one day they will never come home. So, we should treasure every possible moment, and carpe diem every chance we get. I wish you well, and hope that you have ten years of happiness - it's more than some people will ever have, so consider yourself blessed to have found the opportunity.

angelslave77 -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 2:33:37 AM)
goddamit I must be hormonal because everything is making me weep today and this thread is no exception. If Sir only had a little while to live, or even if something happened to diminish his quality of life it wouldnt change my love for him or my decsion to be with him , I have been through so much shit in my life and I have finally found my soul mate, and I am grateful and blessed for every moment I have him in my life. But yeah like others have said you never know how long you have and sometimes I think if you have a number on your years you appreciate them more, pack so much into the time you have, and god bless you then if you get a little more. Breathe hugs you are a strong brave woman may your life and journey be full of happiness and love

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 5:08:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone Is the high, worth the low? You finally did it....you met "The one" there is ZERO doubt in your mind and heart. Everything about this person...EVEN THEIR FLAWS, are a perfect fit with you. You are going to lose this person(meaning they are going to die)....this person will not be in your life for long....probably less then 10 years.(ok I can hear the youngans saying "OMG 10 years is a LONG fuckin time" but trust me its NOT) Do you go for it? Knowing the loss will be life altering and DEVASTATING, and thats not coming close to how bad its REALLY going to feel. Knowing the hurt thats coming....do you take the joy? Absolutely. Why go without because things will eventually end?, to Me that's like saying what's the point in getting out of bed, there's nothing to do-the point is there never will be until you look for it so if you deprive yourself of happiness because you know it'll end you'll -never- actually find it. :). How acn you be sure things will definately end in 10 years btw?.

HalloweenWhite -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 5:13:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phin A song that I think fits this well. cmail me on the other side and I will send you the mp3 if you want it. It is a beautiful song. Bravado By Rush If we burn our wings Flying too close to the sun If the moment of glory Is over before its begun If the dream is won -- Though everything is lost We will pay the price, But we will not count the cost When the dust has cleared And victory denied A summit too lofty River a little too wide If we keep our pride -- Though paradise is lost We will pay the price, But we will not count the cost And if the music stops Theres only the sound of the rain All the hope and glory All the sacrifice in vain [and] if love remains Though everything is lost We will pay the price, But we will not count the cost (off topic, sorry A/all) Hay!! a fellow RUSH fan! great taste in music! personally, thats the only song on "Roll the bones I like. Shutting up now [:D]

MistressVnus -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 5:28:42 AM)
quote: Is the high, worth the low? Knowing the hurt thats coming....do you take the joy? It is. And I did. I can't go into details. It's a very personal story. But I can tell you this, I wouldn't have traded it for the world. AND, the grief was much less all about sad and loss and more of a "bittersweet" vs. the guilt and regret I would have had for not having danced the dance.

Padriag -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 5:39:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone Is the high, worth the low? You finally did it....you met "The one" there is ZERO doubt in your mind and heart. Everything about this person...EVEN THEIR FLAWS, are a perfect fit with you. You are going to lose this person(meaning they are going to die)....this person will not be in your life for long....probably less then 10 years.(ok I can hear the youngans saying "OMG 10 years is a LONG fuckin time" but trust me its NOT) Do you go for it? Knowing the loss will be life altering and DEVASTATING, and thats not coming close to how bad its REALLY going to feel. Knowing the hurt thats coming....do you take the joy? I did and it was both devastating and worth it. I didn't know going in what would happen, neither did she. We both thought we'd have a long happy life together, raise a bunch of kids, and die of old age. Sometimes the unexpected happens, sometimes it hurts like hell... sometimes. You can't let the fears of what might happen hold you back, life was meant to be lived, and living in fear isn't living at all.

sirsholly -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 5:45:57 AM)
I knew my first husband was ill when we married. I had over 12 years with him and I thank God for each and every minute. The line from an old Whitney Houston song has always been meaningful..."the ride with you was worth the fall, my friend." Holly

Dari -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 5:48:38 AM)
If you live your life in fear of what might happen in the future, then you'll never really live at all. When I get to a point where I know, without a doubt, that I love someone (in any fashion, not just the romantic way), then it's already too late for me anyway. So for however long it lasts, love should be enjoyed, and time together cherished. Then you live life with no regrets. Besides, there's no magic way to know exactly how long someone will live anyway. I mean - how would you feel if he lived 11 years, or 12, or 15? Then you're thinking - "Wow, I could have..." yeah. When I'm old, and I look back at my life, I want to be able to look back and say I don't regret a thing I did. Cutting off someone I love because of fear for what might happen? I'd regret that far too much.

petdave -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 6:13:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize Anyone of us could die tomorrow; there is no guarantee that any of us will be alive 10 years from now. Live for today and let the future unfold one moment at a time. That was my first thought as well... while ten years is far from an eternity, a LOT can happen in a decade. But even setting aside the uncertainties of life, i think that ten years with the right person is worth far more than a lifetime without.

GreedyTop -> RE: Count the Cost (2/7/2008 6:20:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55 Jesus help me GreedyTop, I owe you an appology. I had no idea your clarity and sensitivity would result in such a true piece of prose. Perhaps it's because I'm older and have experiened muc in my life, but your words were poetic. Thank you. I assume you mean the quote I've added to my signature line.. I wish I could take credit for it, but it's not mine. I believe it can be attributed to a Swedish or Norwegian writer... (I used to have the name, can't find it now...) But thank you :)

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