sweetwenchie
Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
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This has me a bit unsettled. As a mother myself, when my children do something that deserves punishment, they receive it. i do not think i could go as far as public humiliation however. In theory i can see where the mother is coming from, she wants to teach her child respect, but i am uncertain whether this is what he will actually take away from the experience. This brings to mind a story from my area last year of a boy (16 as i recall) that killed an officer. The newspaper interviewed his friends and family, and it was reported by his sister that he had often been beaten, humilated, tied to a tree in the front yard, all in the attempts to make him learn respect and "how to be a man". Seemed that all it did was create a man with no sense of self worth or dignity.
Had it been one of my beasties disrespecting their teacher , the punishment would have included a written letter of apology, and had it been done in front of the other students a verbal apology to her in front of them as well. i will not even go into the grounding and loss of privileges.
There has been a growing trend of Judges sentencing petty criminals to do very similar things to what this boy had to do, and while it might work for a grown person, i simply think a child will not be able to process the experience in such a way as to take a healthy lesson from it.
< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/8/2008 8:47:06 AM >
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"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir
"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche
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Nice Punishment Idea - 
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. But that's a whole other topic about adult relationships...) I used to get into arguments with my roommate about this all the time. She would point out that when she was "beat" for something bad she did she never did it again. She said it was the only way to teach kids not to do things. I tend to see lots of people say "but I never did it again." Personally I agree with LA that a focus should be more on why the kid is acting out than the specific incident. There are a million and one "bad" things a child can do in just one day. Are you going to punish them for each incident until they've done all of them and now know every bad thing they shouldn't do or are the parents going to start taking time to teach their children the reasons why the things they're doing are bad, and modeling good behavior themselves? I was never hit or punished as a child. Not because my parents were soft on me but because I didn't do "bad" things. My parents spent time talking to me about things, taught me how to be fair with others and to remember that other people deserve as much respect as I do. I'm not trying to say I'm so wonderful or my parents didn't make mistakes but I personally think that fear of being humiliated does not make someone a kind person. It makes them a scared person who can't wait till they get the chance to humiliate someone else. 
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