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A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 5:19:54 PM   
chelle35


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hi, this is my first time posting anything, but i have a question.. my Master and i are online for right now but in the near future Wwe will be together 24/7, well, He wants me  to be a no limits slave. i  understand He owns my heart body and soul, and i would do anything for Him,  does that mean. i wont have any limits. i mean none at all? or can a no limit slave have a few hard limits? He is a Sadist, so i understand  what is in store for me.. but still.. i need to know if i wont have any limits at all. yes i know i need to talk to Him about this. i have a fear that He may take it to where i cant handle something lol. but i know i will grow to like it slowly. may i have Yyour opinons on this its really important to me. thank Yyou all for Yyour advice or opinons.
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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 5:30:20 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

well, He wants me  to be a no limits slave

Of course he does
quote:

i  understand He owns my heart body and soul,

Am I to assume from this statement that the two of you HAVE MET in REAL LIFE then...I mean, come on, let's be honest here...for him to own your body...he must have USED it at one time or another. Otherwise its all just fantasy.
quote:

and i would do anything for Him,

Would you really? At 35 years of age, you are going to seriously sit here and state that YOU would do ANYTHING for him? Absolutly ANYTHING?. I advise you to think like the adult you supposedly are before you answer that.
quote:

does that mean. i wont have any limits

Perhaps you should be asking this paragon of godliness who wants you to have no limits.

as for the rest of your silly prabble...for fucks sake, act like the 35 that you say you are

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 5:31:12 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chelle35

hi, this is my first time posting anything, but i have a question.. my Master and i are online for right now but in the near future Wwe will be together 24/7, well, He wants me to be a no limits slave. i understand He owns my heart body and soul, and i would do anything for Him, does that mean. i wont have any limits. i mean none at all? or can a no limit slave have a few hard limits? He is a Sadist, so i understand what is in store for me.. but still.. i need to know if i wont have any limits at all. yes i know i need to talk to Him about this. i have a fear that He may take it to where i cant handle something lol. but i know i will grow to like it slowly. may i have Yyour opinons on this its really important to me. thank Yyou all for Yyour advice or opinons.


"No limits" is one of those erotic phrases that ultimately means whatever you and your Master wish it to mean.

You need to talk to the man.....

_____________________________



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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 5:42:11 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112
You need to talk to the man.....

And meet him.


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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 5:45:33 PM   
chelle35


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wow it was just a question didnt mean for you to start bitching about it and yes i  am 35 years old and i know how to  think.and yes i am going to talk to him about it.

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 5:46:23 PM   
BlackPhx


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A couple of questions first.

1. Is this your first BDSM Master or experience?  If it is, then I would say take it slow. The Fantasy is not the same as the Reality.

2. If it is not your first real life experience, do you enjoy pain? If you do not then being with a Sadist is not going to be easy and I am not just talking about flogging, Sadists can get very intense, depending on their needs.

3. Have you two met and been face to face in play? If not don't rush it, get to know the person BEFORE you place yourself in his hands. Yes you may feel you know him from phone, email, IM, but that is not the same thing trust me. The first couple of times face to face is starting from square one all over again. Online you fill in a lot with your own fantasies and it is easy to get wrapped up in them.

4. You do realize that no Limits means exactly that. You can deny him nothing, he may take it slow at first to get you used to something, but he will set the limits. This does not mean just with sexual limits, but everything in your life, from clothing to hair to money, if he desires.

My advice you need to sit down face to face and talk. Make sure you understand what he means by no limits. What he plans to control, What his sexual needs are as well as emotional and psychological, then take a break and really think about it. Is this something you can handle? You need to be sure before you move to be together, and you need to actually Be together more than a couple of times to know for sure. I know it is easy to want to rush, to feel everything, but if it is right for you both, then taking a little time to be sure won't hurt and may keep you from making a mistake. Listen to your instincts, not just your hormones and think!

poenkitten ( who has the song Bend Me Shape me running through her head right now)

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 6:53:55 PM   
Leatherist


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These things always seem wonderful-until time erodes the rose colored aspect-and one has to deal with the reality of who someone actually is-not just who you want them to be.

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:03:05 PM   
lronitulstahp


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quote:

ORIGINAL: chelle35

wow it was just a question didnt mean for you to start bitching about it and yes i  am 35 years old and i know how to  think.and yes i am going to talk to him about it.
could you answer the questions others have posed? Particularly...have you met Him IRL?

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:11:04 PM   
TracyTaken


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No one is bitching at you.  There are telling you the truth as best they know.

For me, if I had a friend who I knew to be new to all this and she was telling me about some Dom who was talking "no limits" (as if it was a thing that actually existed ), I'd be very, very concerned.

There is a lot of good advice out there for new submissives, better stuff than I could reproduce here.  If you really want to be a good submissive, be smart and go get that info.  It's available on the web.  I've no doubt that your prospective "Master" would hate the idea of you researching all this for yourself.  That is not a good thing.

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:17:28 PM   
KatyLied


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quote:

quote:

 well, He wants me to be a no limits slave



Of course he does 


It is the ultimate Master fantasy!


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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:23:07 PM   
flowerinyourhand


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In the "Better Bottom Book" which I found very informative when I started out, they addressed the subject of "no-limits". I felt the point that they put forth was well relayed and I feel it may be useful to paraphrase it here.

The authors were of the opinion that everyone has limits.  The author was once talking to a slave who proudly proclaimed herself a "no limits" slave, the author said to them, oh so if your master decided to forsake the lifestyle and return to a fully vanilla way of life with you, you'd be fine with that? and the slave thought for a moment and said, no, you have a point, I'd be gone in a moment.

I don't know what the lure of being a no limits slave is personally, I have limits and my Master respects those. He has limits and I abide by these. We are human and we all have strengths and weaknesses, it's part of being human.

If it's something you want to do then by all means...but please give this one alot of thought first. To answer your question, no limits means NO limits. He can do whatever he wants to or with you....or nothing at all even. The few hard limits that you have...no you won't have them and he will expect you to do those things as readily as anything else he asks you to do.

I get bad vibes from Doms who talk about no limits...but that may be just me.

< Message edited by flowerinyourhand -- 2/9/2008 7:27:01 PM >


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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:30:18 PM   
celticlord2112


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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

quote:

well, He wants me to be a no limits slave



Of course he does


It is the ultimate Master fantasy!



Is it?

My desire is always that my slave obey me without hesitation and without fail. My desire is that my slave trust my judgement absolutely. To my mind, such is part and parcel of being Master, of owning and ruling slaves.

But my desire is also to own my slave, not just today, but for the remainder of my days. That desire cannot be gratified if I damage her. Even if she is perfect in obedience, if I cause her harm, I will lose my slave. To my mind, this too is part and parcel of being Master, of owning and ruling slaves.

Limits assure us both that she will be mine for quite some time to come.

Do I want "no limits"? No, not at all. Not even in fantasy.

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:51:13 PM   
homedespot


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I believe that, in essence, a "no-limits" slave is one that has the same limits as the Mistress.

In other words, jssubc is My "no-limits" slave. But only because he trusts Me so completely. he knows that I will not do something in front of his UM that destroy's that relationship. he knows that I will not castrate him. he knows that I am not a sadist etc. he has given his limits to Me because of the absolute trust in Me that comes from time spent.

Does that make sense? he doesn't have a safe-word. Any limit of "his" that I wish to push or take away would be in the full knowledge of How I am, Who I am, the Way I work. So he doesn't NEED limits. he doesn't NEED anything to "protect" him. That is many years of trust that have built up between us. Many.

J.

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 7:59:38 PM   
DisenchantedLife


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People need to eat their wheaties before they go around jumping down other's throats and insulting.  Act like the adult you are.  Sure, maybe it all seems moronic.  Or maybe its you that seems moronic.  Doesnt particularly matter.  Your response wasn't very "adult" like, as you asked the OP to be.

quote:

as for the rest of your silly prabble...for fucks sake, act like the 35 that you say you are


Sometimes when people are in relationships they caught up in emotions and it isn't always easy to think clearly.  Have you ever heard "love is blind".  Its not just a cute saying.  Its a problem most people have.  They get caught up.  That is one of the reasons why forums such as these are very helpful to the many.  Its a good sounding board.  Usually, when communication is opened and some one gets nasty, the person on the recieving end shuts down.  No one likes to feel attacked.  The words of wisdom you were trying to convey, got lost in your nastiness.  The OP probably took nothing away from your post but "what a bitch".  If you were trying to make an attempt at a wake up call for the OP, I would suggest people would hear you better with out the nastiness.  If you're just venting because you feel like being nasty, then you wasted your time posting your advice.

To the OP :  I would say back out slowly. Walk away.   IF he's looking for a "no limits" slave, than it sounds like he is looking for somebody that will let him do anything to them.  The word anything is a loaded word.  Try thinking of the most terrible thing you can imagine and realize that by being his no limits slave, you are giving him consent to do it to you.  It's why he wants a no limits slave.  So he can do terrible things and have consent.  Any sane, rational human being has limits.  A sane rational Dom would want a sub with limits.  A Dom would want a sub that takes care of them selves (like not doing or allowing harmful things to happen). 

IMO stay away from the Dom's that do not want you to look out for your own best interest.  IMO "no limits" is not in your personal best interest.

_____________________________

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 8:01:57 PM   
ThinkingKitten


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From: Ontari-ari-o
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OP: the fact that you are even at the point of considering being a no-limits slave with this guy, and yet you are asking some really elementary questions about what that means, is scary. I get the sense you have been steaming ahead to this point without really having a clue as to what you are doing. I hope it works out well for you, but your post sounds like a disaster in the making (to me).

I know "no-limits" is possible within some relationships - but the ones that I know of that are successful have evolved into that over a good period of time, as the level of TRUST is increased. Lay a good groundwork, and work at it, and consider it a journey to get there. I don't think putting it as an immediate destination is advisable, certainly not with someone with whom your real-time existence is minimal or even non-existent to this point. As others have indicated, can you say f-a-n-t-a-s-y?

(edit to correct an ambiguity)

< Message edited by ThinkingKitten -- 2/9/2008 8:02:44 PM >


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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 8:07:23 PM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chelle35

hi, this is my first time posting anything, but i have a question.. my Master and i are online for right now but in the near future Wwe will be together 24/7, well, He wants me  to be a no limits slave. i  understand He owns my heart body and soul, and i would do anything for Him,  does that mean. i wont have any limits. i mean none at all? or can a no limit slave have a few hard limits? He is a Sadist, so i understand  what is in store for me.. but still.. i need to know if i wont have any limits at all. yes i know i need to talk to Him about this. i have a fear that He may take it to where i cant handle something lol. but i know i will grow to like it slowly. may i have Yyour opinons on this its really important to me. thank Yyou all for Yyour advice or opinons.

You have gotten some pretty good advice here, dispite the way it was delivered. I am of the same opinion as Disenchantedlife. Slow down, take the time to really get to know him and learn from others here on the forum what it really means to be a no-limit slave.

Please also, answer the questions that were asked of you, you may get completely different answers if we knew more about you to base them on :)

Welcome to the forums!

MoGa

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 10:51:39 PM   
robertolapiedra


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Joined: 5/3/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chelle35

hi, this is my first time posting anything, but i have a question.. my Master and i are online for right now but in the near future Wwe will be together 24/7, well, He wants me  to be a no limits slave. i  understand He owns my heart body and soul, and i would do anything for Him,  does that mean. i wont have any limits. i mean none at all? or can a no limit slave have a few hard limits?


Hello chelle35. My opinion? ok... "no limit" slaves do not exist. Wanting one is ok, but thinking you can have a slave actually "become" one? In books maybe, but not in real life.

Maybe he means he wants you to have no limits in what he likes. That could happen and he could think he has a no limit slave. But usually, normally, the shit always hits the fan between LTR people (I'm one of them!) and you find limits whether you want to admit it or not. That's normal.

In my opinion a no limit slave is a romantic thingie, same as undying unconditional love. Everything is conditional, slave-master relationships included. I would not engage in promises that cannot be kept for long when starting out in a LTR relationship.

Go slow, baby steps, keep it fun and rational. The consensual aspect is a day to day occurrence, not a one shot deal done when you start out. In my opinion, that would be very adolescent (for a woman your age) to agree to something that does not exit for most human beings: unconditional slavery. Good luck. RL.


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RE: A question about slavery - 2/9/2008 11:34:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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It doesn't matter what "a" slave does, it matters what YOU need for yourself and whether that ends up meshing with some ideal of slave you've built into your head.

Until you stop living up to some external standard, you'll never just create what you need for yourself.

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"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: A question about slavery - 2/10/2008 12:46:25 AM   
MasterFireMaam


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From: Charleston, WV
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If you do not know the answers to these questions, do NOT move in. You do not trust him. Just my gut instincts.

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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RE: A question about slavery - 2/10/2008 4:17:37 AM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chelle35

hi, this is my first time posting anything, but i have a question.. my Master and i are online for right now but in the near future Wwe will be together 24/7, well, He wants me  to be a no limits slave. i  understand He owns my heart body and soul, and i would do anything for Him,  does that mean. i wont have any limits. i mean none at all? or can a no limit slave have a few hard limits? He is a Sadist, so i understand  what is in store for me.. but still.. i need to know if i wont have any limits at all. yes i know i need to talk to Him about this. i have a fear that He may take it to where i cant handle something lol. but i know i will grow to like it slowly. may i have Yyour opinons on this its really important to me. thank Yyou all for Yyour advice or opinons.


Welcome chelle35
Here is a description of limits taken from Informed Consent, adapted from Wikipedia:
In the BDSM world, limits refer to activities that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid. Before a BDSM scene, it is common to perform a negotiation to outline what will and will not happen during the play session. During this time, all participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits. Both Dominants and submissives can (and perhaps should) express limits. They can be spoken or written, and discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved. Popular variants include: Hard Limit - something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include scat is a hard limit for me Soft Limit - something that someone will do only in special circumstances or when highly aroused/prepared. Example - I will only do anal sex with a very experienced partner "Must" limit - something that a person will not do the scene without. Examples include lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me or If you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of aftercare Time limit - an amount of time after which play ceases. No Limits - the Dominant may do anything he/she cares to with the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are and can be very dangerous. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits (consider being thrown under a train, for fun). 'No limits' play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM scenes. When in a long-term relationship with a known and fully-trusted partner, it can be safe to rely on your knowledge of the partner to keep to safe limits; this is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or Total Power Exchange.

I find my limits are wider or more extensive and permissive than Dominants I have played with, I find that my limits are more extensive than their partners who might be straight because I am bi and that is a hard limit for a traight woman. Everypne's and I stress, in my opinion, everyone's pain liit is different and indeed it fluctuates at certain times of a scene or indeed is most variable during certain phases of a menstral cycle.
but it needs a deep understanding between a dominant and a submissive to really understan what a particular limit is.

For example it might not be the actual electro sensation which is the limit but the pressure of the tens clip which is too tight and then overrides the senstaion limit of the tens.
Now wen we get into the arena of emotional sado-masochism there we have invisible limits unobserveable as behaviour. And emotional sado-masochism is something that, when limits are transgressed, can cause triggers, psychlogical reactance, and sometimes trauma (or sometimes ecstasy).

I love to 'confess' limits or lack of then andmake that confession part of a scene.
There are limits I have pushed that I would never have allowed outside of the person who 'broke' me.Therefore I would say that for me to have 'no limits' would be just tedious and take out much ofwhat is the dynamic anyway.But for others, and I do know a pain slut slave who does indeed appear to have no limits, no limits is part of their dynamic. In this instance though he is a sadistic top and in my opinion it leads to physical brutality and harm for his slave which excludes one of the three tenes of bdsm: safety.

So heres to sanity, safety and consensuality and the wonderful 'concept' of no limits, the concept which by its very name 'no limits' implies its opposite. Don't rely upon it as an ideal or indeed something you imagine in your head. YOUR limits apply to YOU and not to me or anyone else in the entire bdsm universe.

Who would really want a no limits slave anyway? Fait accomplis n'est pa?

  • Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs. "Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission." New York: Villard Books, 1993. ISBN 0-679-40873-8.
  • Philip Miller and Molly Devon, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism." Mystic Rose Books, 1995. ISBN 0964596008.


 

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 2/10/2008 4:24:01 AM >

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