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Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:03:52 AM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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Is it just me, or does this lifestlye community seem to attract drama queens?? I have a low tolerance for all the drama, recently 'Daddy" welcomed a new female into the 'family'...and usually we all rally around and make the newbies feel welcome...but this one lives for the drama...she isn't divorced yet, brings multiple dates to events, so of course they are immediately in competition for her attention, and drama ensues....
This weekend I heard from the ex-sub of a former dom I had a casual encounter with 3 years ago---3 freakin years...I don't want or need to hear or get into your drama...live and let live...it is what it is...how do you handle drama within your bdsm family/community??


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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:06:56 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I bonk them on the head and say you could have had a V8. I tell them to quit their whineing.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:11:18 AM   
OmegaG


Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

Is it just me, or does this lifestlye community seem to attract drama queens?? I have a low tolerance for all the drama, recently 'Daddy" welcomed a new female into the 'family'...and usually we all rally around and make the newbies feel welcome...but this one lives for the drama...she isn't divorced yet, brings multiple dates to events, so of course they are immediately in competition for her attention, and drama ensues....
This weekend I heard from the ex-sub of a former dom I had a casual encounter with 3 years ago---3 freakin years...I don't want or need to hear or get into your drama...live and let live...it is what it is...how do you handle drama within your bdsm family/community??



No.  There are people who thrive on drama everywhere you look.  Whatever your social circle is is where you will find them.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:27:26 AM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Is it just me, or does this lifestlye community seem to attract drama queens??


nope it is not exclusive to this lifestyle...like OmegaG said, it is everywhere you look...gay lifestyle, straight lifestyle, recovery lifestyle, name a lifestyle and they have their fair share of drama queens...the choice you have to make is whether you get caught up in their drama...if someone calls you to tell them about how so and so did this to them wrong and this should be done to so and so and.........you have a choice, you can politely blow them off, "i'm sorry but i was about to fix lunch/dinner" or "i'm sorry, i gotta run to the bathroom" -click- if they need something more blunt....it takes the blame of them and puts it on you but still takes you out of their drama...if your partner is constantly inviting drama into your relationship....what are you still doing with your partner? i know it's a hard ass thing to say, but is that a healthy place to be?

just my thoughts for now...
chelle


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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:29:35 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I don't think it's a 'Lifestyle' issue, I think it's a 'Life' issue.

There's always a certain amount of drama in any setting or situation.  When you increase the number of people (i.e. poly situations) you increase the potential number of drama related incidents.  Even the most loving, giving, die hard poly person is going to have a bad day sometimes, and that increase the risk of drama.

The only way to not have drama in your life is to not have people in your life.  Increase the amount of people, expect to increase the amount of drama.

Regards,

Stephan


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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:36:27 AM   
SL4V3M4YB3


Posts: 3506
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: S.E. London U.K.
Status: offline 		I can’t believe this, why do people always feel the need to persecute me where ever I go. I too have had a hard life you know, I didn’t know what my name was until I was ten because my parents always called me him. Now I come here for some ‘like mindedness’ and there is no like mindedly people anywhere. I despair I really do. I shall leave now as you obviously all hate the person I am! You'll be sorry when you hear on the news the tragic story of my end. On your heads be it.
 
(Edit: and I can't spell oh I... nevermind)

< Message edited by SL4V3M4YB3 -- 2/11/2008 9:40:30 AM >

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:38:56 AM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

Is it just me, or does this lifestlye community seem to attract drama queens??



No, it's not just you. I've noticed it too...


Diane

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 9:57:05 AM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		I ignore it entirely, particularly in front of the people using it to get attention.  If everyone who complained about drama, ignored the people being dramatic attention seeking dorks the problem would decrease significantly.  As soon as I hear someone gossiping at an event, I turn away (politely) and find someone else to talk to.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:04:35 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		It's a personality trait of some people.  They require drama, sometimes the roots are from their childhood.  I would ignore it in order to make it go away.  If we are talking about drama on the message board, I dig it.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:10:02 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		SLV4 at least you have a middle name. I know people who Do'nt. I like your whinney post.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:17:32 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1
how do you handle drama within your bdsm family/community??
 
Drama in our family is not tolerated.  He will shut down the interaction until the person is able to communicate or behave appropriately.  It isn't much of a problem between the three of us; we all dislike drama.
 
Drama outside of our family is avoided when possible.  He will not allow people into our lives that create or fuel drama.
 
Knight's Kyra


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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:23:31 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I'll go with the concensus that there are just drama people, whatever their lifestyle. 

I used to live my share of drama.  I guess I watched too many soap operas and movies of the week or something.  Mr. Wonderful simply didn't tolerate it.  He either didn't feed it attention, or he'd discipline me for it. The kicker was when he wrote Drama Queen across my breasts in a Sharpee, and kept it there for about 4 days.

Boy did that piss me off...lol.

Most effective was that he taught me how to handle my emotions better.  Much of my drama stemmed from an inability to understand myself and communicate.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:24:22 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

The only way to not have drama in your life is to not have people in your life.  Increase the amount of people, expect to increase the amount of drama.

 
This th the reaon I only have a gew poepol in my life.
 
MoGH



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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:28:52 AM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		MARCIA MARCIA MARCIA!!!!   

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:30:30 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I ignore drama as much as possible and try not to get sucked into other people's whirlwinds. 

I do think lifestyle communities have the potential for nurturing drama more than other spheres of human endeavor because of the way they integrate intensely personal stuff into community activities.  Try as I might, I can't think of another community that collapses the boundaries between public and private so totally so if we keep getting snagged in the nets of other people's drama its not that surprising.  After all, we see each other naked on a regular basis. Emotional maturity, having a thick skin and a knack for the art of 'civil inattention' is probably helpful in keeping drama to a minimum.  

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:33:34 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		There are people that thrive on crisis and do what they can to have it in their lives.  Because the lifestyle can bring intensity you may find them here.  They are everywhere though.  I avoid them for the most part.  You cannot help someone that is busy self-destructing.  People can learn not to do it though, but it usually takes complete misery before they see it. 

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:52:13 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		There is only one Queen in My house and Drama is not Her middle name.

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:54:28 AM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I feel the way about drama threads as fat people feel about fat people threads.  I'm a self proclaimed drama queen.  I do not wreak havoc in other peoples lives.  Only in my own.
 
I cry a little more.  I laugh a little harder.  Get over it.
 
And the drama on these boards?  Well, sometimes it makes me want to shoot myself in the face.  (hows that for drama?) 

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:59:44 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer the company of my furry babies over that of many people. Even so, one of them is a neurotic drama pup. With her I have infinite patience. With people of the dramatic inclination......not so much so.

It is one of the main reasons I am not in a big hurry to get involved in the local groups.


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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 11:07:44 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

I feel the way about drama threads as fat people feel about fat people threads.  I'm a self proclaimed drama queen.  I do not wreak havoc in other peoples lives.  Only in my own.
 
I cry a little more.  I laugh a little harder.  Get over it.
 
And the drama on these boards?  Well, sometimes it makes me want to shoot myself in the face.  (hows that for drama?) 


I loved this post.  :)

Especially the bolded part.  Master says all I do is intense.  All I feel is intense.  And the way I express it is intense.  It is why he had patience with the negative emotions, because he loved the positive.  Learning to channel those energies into expressing them without all the wailing and gnashing of teeth was a challenge, but the energy behind my emotions is still as intense as it ever was.  The difference now is I deal with problems rather than look for them.  :)


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