RE: The hardest task of all

RE: The hardest task of all (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

PanthersMom -> RE: The hardest task of all (2/22/2008 5:55:28 AM)
but, but, if they have to think for themselves, then they can't give people the excuse that someone else made the decision, they have to accept personal responsibility! how could you?! PM

MsBearlee -> RE: The hardest task of all (2/22/2008 6:07:47 AM)
You know, Lily…I agree with you. And sometimes I think the submissive may so emotionally frail that pain, anger and depression seethe just below the surface. So unhappy with the world and so intent on finding the fantasy of something outside themselves to make them happy, that they are not aware of how negative they come off, how nasty their comments are, how sad it is they don’t enjoy life in general. They seem to have no joy and are just no fun to be around. What you said about blunders seems to work on both sides of their coin…to the point that one I knew (in an effort to keep the fantasy as he saw it) sent me long, scripted scenarios from which I was supposed to pick “how we would play.” And of course, it was always all about him; his punishment, his tears. He could barely talk to me online or on the telephone, without trying to move conversation into a verbal scene. It is as if some discover BDSM and think it has enough ‘edge’ to save them; that here at last they will find someone who will be happy with what they offer (someone to abuse) and that they will finally somehow discover joy in what they think the world gives them anyway; abuse. I firmly believe all relationships should be win/win, but I cannot pull sunshine outta my butt. I want someone who does enjoy his life, who has the time to spend on a relationship (evident by his enthusiastic responses to me and our time together…which he makes room for in his life), and who has a life outside of BDSM; one he throughly enjoys. Someone once said healthy relationships are made of two people. (Hold up index finger on each hand) Two people, each one whole and able to stand alone. If one is so needy they lean on the other for support (move the tip of a finger to push against the other), if and when the stronger one moves, the other will fall; kinda like dominoes. As I said before…I’m just not equipped nor interested in taking on that kinda job. The hard part is, it’s nobody’s fault; mental illness is not easy…and neither is rejecting someone because of it. MsB

APhacetoSit -> RE: The hardest task of all (2/22/2008 7:24:08 AM)
MesDames, in a rare, but non-snarky evaluation of Your question(s). as a general rule, where i have lunch, what i have for lunch, what time lunch happens, who serves lunch, what cuisine (s) might be offered, and all of that stuff, pales in comparison to the idea of Who might allow me to join Her for lunch. Yes i would be likely to ask Her what kind of food appeals to Her, and might venture to ask Her if She has a favorite restaurant, meal, lunch time, etc. i would pay attention to Her answers, and would take Her to a sushi place that specialize in dirty water hot dogs if that was Her choice. Not that i savor each of these choices, but my ego is so fragile that i would be stunned that She would want to share Her lunch time with me. and i like me. i'm a pretty amazing guy, and She is brilliant to have realized that from the group of fellows who find Her as irresistable as i do. i don't care what we eat, i simply want the opportunity to encroach on Her 18 inches of personal space. Some days it requires being stupidly sweet, and some days it requires being a snark (if i understand that word correctly--please define)

MsBearlee -> RE: The hardest task of all (2/22/2008 7:42:26 AM)
At the risk of being snarky myself...I don't even bother with lunch, if the man cannot, in the course of 2-3 weeks, show me that he is both enthusiastic about the possibility of meeting me but also indicate he has both the room for me in his life but also interested in exploring all the things that we might do together. If a man cannot discuss anything but the possibility of my spanking or scolding him, or if life is so pressing that they cannot exchange at least a nice little note each day...then what is the point? When relationships are new, generally there is much excitement and joy surrounding it and all the possibilities that it might hold. If someone cannot conjure up joy in the first few weeks...what is a woman to think? As far as where to meet…I go more for half-way distance and the general ‘visibility’ of a restaurant. I enjoy all foods and really don’t feel ‘testing’ a submissive is important to do before we’ve even met. And…I go dutch-treat. As far as definitions go, I’ll say it again: I like bright men; interestig men who think and are capable of discovering things on their own. Google is your friend. MsB

APhacetoSit -> RE: The hardest task of all (2/22/2008 8:00:50 AM)
Yes, but too much thought can take all the joy out of a steak and baked potato. Consider the poor cow, and do You know where potatoes come from? Put Your brain on idle for a while, and enjoy the ambiance.

MsBearlee -> RE: The hardest task of all (2/22/2008 8:15:05 AM)
LOL I believe I'm doing that here! I see no reason to meet someone who has expressed disinterest in the world and shows little enthusiasm for me or (worse yet), finding answers all by himself to the questions he choose to ask. Sure, I like the occasional easy-entertainment...but not at the expense of real world excitement, interest, and participation, or the joy that results. I'd rather eat a salad at home followed by a hike in the woods. For now though, I've got to spend some time here at work. :) B

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.015625