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RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 2/27/2004 7:00:49 AM   
JerryInTampa


Posts: 138
Joined: 2/19/2004
Status: offline 		eye no eye halve spelled rite because eye used a checker bee four I posted.

(in reply to ZenMaster)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/3/2004 12:40:26 PM   
makemeserve


Posts: 7
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Being a male slave...i can say that most of the females online these days are fake and just looking for some new kinky fun because they are bored with everyday life.

(in reply to putersrus2003)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/3/2004 5:56:34 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: makemeserve

Being a male slave...i can say that most of the females online these days are fake and just looking for some new kinky fun because they are bored with everyday life.


Most? That's quite a claim. Have you met "most" and if so, how many was that?

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to makemeserve)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/3/2004 7:06:05 PM   
SarahGoode


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/3/2004
Status: offline 		hello

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/3/2004 7:10:26 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hello Sarah.

(in reply to SarahGoode)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/3/2004 7:11:58 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		For once, I feel there's little I can offer, as those who've already responded said...well...what I would. Suz summed it up best - if you're lamenting online, why not get offline? Find local munch groups, meet people in the lifestyle real time. As mentioned earlier, these message boards are a good place to start as well.

The best advice I can give to anyone when searching online, is to consider this place to be almost exactly like a virtual bar. Expect 95% of the people you're talking to here not to meet your expectations, share your tastes, or live close enough to want to date. If you can relocate, it doesn't mean you should! If you can't, don't sweat it.

Alternatively, you may wish to consider being VERY forward and up front about your tastes when dating vanilla women. On the third date, watch a BDSM themed movie, 'the Secretary' I hear is a good one, or Eyes Wide Shut, or something that compels conversation. Date three isn't a fixed number, but it's enough time to develope some familiarity, but not long enough to where you feel you've invested a great deal emotionally.

It's hard to find the 'right' person, be she vanilla or kinked. Stop looking for 'a slave' and perhaps start looking for 'a woman' and you may have much better luck.

Stephan

_____________________________

http://www.vv3b.com/

"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to SarahGoode)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/4/2004 6:17:46 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		HAHAH OOHHH VOLTARE!
Why would sumone whom
is into kink look for a
vanilla? That is a failure
of a relationship befor
it even begins in * most cases
and You will find most here
whom have been in a vanilla
relationship have allready
experianced its failure because
of their kinks and likes.
I disagree with these words
quote:

It's hard to find the 'right' person,
be she vanilla or kinked. Stop looking for '
a slave' and perhaps start looking for '
a woman' and you may have much better luck.

and think that if a person desires
sumone in a relationship in
a slave like manner a vanilla
woman would not be the answer
and in fact if one tempted to treat
a vanilla woman as a slave might
end up in the slammer.
The hardest part for anyone whom
seeks sumthing out side of normal
is admitting to them selfs what it is
that they truly seek. Is it a online
kinkie relationship? If so say so. Is
it a lifetime of servitude in a slavelike
manner in real life, then say so. If a
Dominant, and want a sub dont bother
with the slaves if wanting a slave dont
bother with the subs and say why to them.
Dont simply push them off but let them
know You seek real life or online ONLY.
Neither kinkie manner is less then, just a
different need, and the problem lies in most
with not stateing the truths in what they
seek which goes against BDSM protical
in the first place as HONESTY is one
of the first things Taught along with TRUST.
If You are a Dominant and are only a online
player and lead on a suplicant that it * might
become real life You are a preditor. If you
are a suplicant and say you desire to serve
real life and have the Dominant commit
to you while you have no intention of going
to them but string them on for the attention
you are a Preditor.
It is true that there are many preditors
in Our Lifestyle whom take advantage
of these Two rules for the sake of a
quick mindful muse, or to find vulnerablities
in one whom they can take physical advantage
of, but common scence also should prevail.
If you are of the lifestyle and having trouble
connecting to like minds in real life learn
the hankie code, its a eye opener in a mall,
and will bring like minds up to you to chat in
real time. I know as I have been using this
simple action for years and you would be
surprised at how many aproch Me and ask
are You in the Lifestyle? just by seeing the
way I carry or wear a hankie when out in
public. Learning Old Customs of Our REAL
ALTERNATE LIFESTYLE will help any start
on the right tracts to finding that sumone
for a relationship in kink, real life. My Opinion.
Which I look forward to haveing dis
agree onnn!!!!! ~smiles~

PS and for the records makemeserve
I had three slaves yesterday state they
seek real life and wanted My phone #
to call and talk to Me, only to find that
when I told them I do not speak to any
one on phone till My application is filled
out and sent and they have a sincere
desire to come serve as slave under Me
giving Me what information I seek for
contract and kolar, They ran for the hills
and put Me on iggnore. LOL. I even had
one slave go as far as to tell ME that ALL
Poly HOMES have members with STDs
and that they know this to be a fact. LOL
How so NOT true and biased a statement.
butttttt any how, makemeserve, I keep a
open journal of ALL the contacts I have in
ALL rhelms and use it as a study guide for
the Dominants that I Teach, and sum of the
ooooh Id say over 300 slave applicants whom
were NOT truthful in what they desired far
outweight the amount of slaves I have contacted
looking for a real life contract from them.
Of course being a Sadist most think Me crazy
any how right?? LOL!

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 27
A very interesting thread. - 3/6/2004 10:23:08 PM   
sabersedge


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/6/2004
Status: offline 		I too have found it difficult to find a sincere sub. I have met a couple of women where it did not click. I did settle on one woman who in the end was not a true sub. She was not sincere in representing herself or in what she wanted. She liked several partners and thought she could see them on the side.

I have met couples who by there own words share a wonderful relationship with there partners, whether it is an open (sharing allowed) or closed ( committed, no sharing) relationship. I agree with the posts that have mentioned joining or visiting a munch group.

I am much more cautious now after my experiences. I have talked to some wonderful women in D/s and I know they are here. You, I and the next guy (lol, sorry and domme's) just have to keep looking. (The Domme's have the same problem I am sure.) The online and LDR expereince can be very risky compared to someone local. Although it is possible to meet a great match online and as an LDR it is more difficult to know they are what they claim to be.

< Message edited by sabersedge -- 3/7/2004 1:24:02 AM >

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/8/2004 2:32:12 PM   
Myste


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetieboop
As for you Sir Daniel, I use abbreviations sometimes just so that I can answer quickly. No disrespect intended, just an explanation. :)


My thought on that is I don't want an answer if you don't have time to do it properly. It only takes 2 more keystrokes to type you and your rather than u and ur and I think I'm worth that.

_____________________________

Myste

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kinkytexans/

(in reply to sweetieboop)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/8/2004 2:42:03 PM   
Myste


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare

For once, I feel there's little I can offer, as those who've already responded said...well...what I would. Suz summed it up best - if you're lamenting online, why not get offline? Find local munch groups, meet people in the lifestyle real time. As mentioned earlier, these message boards are a good place to start as well.

The best advice I can give to anyone when searching online, is to consider this place to be almost exactly like a virtual bar. Expect 95% of the people you're talking to here not to meet your expectations, share your tastes, or live close enough to want to date. If you can relocate, it doesn't mean you should! If you can't, don't sweat it.





I agree! Get out and get involved in the local groups. Fakes and users usually get ousted rather quickly from real life groups which is another advantage.

_____________________________

Myste

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kinkytexans/

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/8/2004 2:48:25 PM   
sweetieboop


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I didn't mean that i don't have the time. I meant answer quickly so I don't keep the person waiting for an answer. I was thinking in terms of IM though. :)

(in reply to Myste)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/8/2004 2:50:49 PM   
Myste


Posts: 14
Joined: 3/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

HAHAH OOHHH VOLTARE!
Why would sumone whom
is into kink look for a
vanilla?


Maybe I missed something here but I took Voltare to say it's hard to find the "right" person even for a vanilla person not that he was looking for vanilla women. Some of us do date "vanilla" people and I'm usually upfront with them right from the start. This is a part of who I am and if they can't accept it then they can't accept me. I feel it's better to get it out right from the start than have feelings hurt on down the road.

_____________________________

Myste

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kinkytexans/

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/8/2004 4:01:39 PM   
MistressKiss


Posts: 295
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		When you are talking about someone relocating, you're asking a lot. You should expect a lot of talking back and forth and getting to know each other before it would even be considered. Also, like "real-life" dating (I hate using the term "real-life" because online is still real-life) you have to muddle through lots of frogs before finding a prince or princess. Interestingly enough, sometimes you find a taker when you least expect it.

Expect a long process when it comes to finding the right person. Too many people just jump at a chance to express themselves in the lifestyle, and this often leads to mismatches and bitter disappointments. Take your time and be patient. If the right person is out there...you'll eventually find him or her.

(in reply to putersrus2003)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/14/2004 7:32:40 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

HAHAH OOHHH VOLTARE!
Why would sumone whom
is into kink look for a
vanilla?


As a male sub I can tell you why. Odds. There are something like a 10 to 1 ratio of Fem Dom to male subs. Sometimes it is easy to despair when faced with that. It may be easier to woo a vanilla woman and slowly make her my Mistress. (Heck, I doubt she'll complain if I do the dishes.)

It doesn't work that way, but it is tempting. (I'm afraid you'll have to take my divorce lawyers word it doesn't work that way.)

makemeserve,

Stiff upper lip, dude.

sabersedge,

quote:

I did settle on one woman who in the end was not a true sub.


Please define true sub.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/14/2004 7:42:49 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		In the spelling debate there is also the question of how "formal" is the corresp[ondance. Something informal like this or achat room has different rules than a personal ad (or profile) or a letter to a person you do not know.

I know I always spell check to find typos when ever I contact someone. sometimes it picks stupid stuff as OK. (I.E. "form" is OK to it when I meant "from".) Still I would not want the ONE to delete my missive unread because she thinks I'm an idiot. (Without even giving me the chance to prove it!) I've also had letters sent to me where I wondered if I really want to be tied up by a moron.

This is not speell cheecked for a reason.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to JerryInTampa)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/14/2004 8:48:23 AM   
sweetieboop


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I don't know about anyone else, but when I say that I don't want to be with someone that can't spell, I'm talking horrendous. Not just a word or two that could have been a typo. I'm talking about letters that are so bad that I can hardly understand what they're trying to say. If they can go through life that way, more power to them. However, if I'm going to put my life into someone else's hands, then they are going to be intelligent. :) I guess I wouldn't ignore a person for that though. The first time anyway. ;)

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/14/2004 6:00:56 PM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		sweetieboop,

Oddly enough, I agree. (I'd rather they misspell and prove themselves an idiot up front that have me find out when they can't find the keys.)

Of course I'm going to say "Huh? Want to try that again in English?" to an IM I don't understand, whereas a badly misspelled or ungrammatical profile will get no response. (An badly spelled, run-on sentence e-mail responding to my profile will at least get me to look at hers - male subs can't be choosy. Maybe the e-mail is an aberration. [Hey, if you can't be choosy, you can be hopeful. )

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to sweetieboop)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/15/2004 3:29:27 PM   
OldMaster


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		As to spelling and grammar, it's our national shame in the U.S. that such things have been tossed aside for fear of diminishing the self-esteem of the child. How on earth any child can develop self-esteem without acquiring competence in his native language is beyond me, but that's been the rationale. I don't believe that it's a matter of being too picky. But I do think that you must either settle for candidates over 40, or be willing to teach grammar and spelling to your sub or slave! <g>

W

(in reply to MsAkasha8)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: A very interesting thread. - 3/15/2004 4:06:19 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sabersedge

I too have found it difficult to find a sincere sub. I have met a couple of women where it did not click. I did settle on one woman who in the end was not a true sub. She was not sincere in representing herself or in what she wanted. She liked several partners and thought she could see them on the side.


I am much more cautious now after my experiences. I have talked to some wonderful women in D/s and I know they are here. You, I and the next guy (lol, sorry and domme's) just have to keep looking. (The Domme's have the same problem I am sure.) The online and LDR expereince can be very risky compared to someone local. Although it is possible to meet a great match online and as an LDR it is more difficult to know they are what they claim to be.


Question for you Sabersedge.
Why did you ever settle for someone who was'nt who you wanted in the first place? I realize we all make mistakes in life in general. Although the way I read what you said. Something just sounded like you felt you did'nt deserve the best.

Yep, I'm like that I pick out a single sentence here and there and something about it just seems off.

(in reply to sabersedge)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Finding a sincere sub/slave - 3/15/2004 4:41:44 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OldMaster

But I do think that you must either settle for candidates over 40, or be willing to teach grammar and spelling to your sub or slave! <g>



hahaha funny.

I really wish that a more sure way of finding someone who can spell & put a sentence together would be by looking in the 'over 40' category; unfortunately it's not. In fact, having a degree from an accredited college isn't even a guarantee. I know people with Masters degrees in education that can't put a sentence together and that is the sad truth. One is a high school coach, but he still teaches classes. He simply can not write or spell and professes to have no disability. I can't imagine how anyone could account for that.

I didn't go to high school at all; and was so truant through-out middle school that it's fair to say I only attended a year and a half of the three I was on the roles. I am self-taught (until college, anyway) and often wonder if I got the better end of the education stick.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to OldMaster)
Profile   Post #: 40
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