Love thyself?

Love thyself? (Full Version)

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breatheasone -> Love thyself? (2/16/2008 6:55:35 PM)
Its been said..."If you don't love yourself, you can't expect someone else to love you." I think I disagree with this....I mean, I don't LOVE myself....heavy like maybe. [;)] Now I get the meaning of that saying....but I think more accurate might be...Its easier for someone to love you, if you love yourself. Thoughts?...

Kalista07 -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:02:49 PM)
My experience might be vastly different from the most common experiences....But, fortuantely for me there were people in my life who were (and remain to some degree) willing to love me until i could learn to love myself...

SirJohnMandevill -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:07:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone Its been said..."If you don't love yourself, you can't expect someone else to love you." I think I disagree with this....I mean, I don't LOVE myself....heavy like maybe. [;)] Now I get the meaning of that saying....but I think more accurate might be...Its easier for someone to love you, if you love yourself. Thoughts?... I don't know that I LOVE myself, but I find that my self-confidence about whom I am and where I'm going helps me as a Dominant when I'm with my submissive. Hard to be a Dom if you lack confidence. Les (Purveyor of Fine, handcrafted Kink)

GreedyTop -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:09:49 PM)
makes sense to me, breathes. Personally, while I think quite well of myself, and like myself immensely... having someone LOVE me helps me to see myself through their eyes..and come to love myself. Does that make sense?

azropedntied -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:11:46 PM)
This has always been a struggle for me , as i am no narcissistic type person let alone in love with myself .My dog s seem to dig me then again i feed them too .My self esteem seems to have gained some ground in recent years but i am who i am .I do think if your projecting a negitive view about yourself to others they may see that and concur but thats only speculative . I always say i know i need work like an old car but i try and be the best me i can be .

breatheasone -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:17:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kalista07 My experience might be vastly different from the most common experiences....But, fortuantely for me there were people in my life who were (and remain to some degree) willing to love me until i could learn to love myself... I understand this perfectly...in fact I'm living it now to a degree. quote: ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill I don't know that I LOVE myself, but I find that my self-confidence about whom I am and where I'm going helps me as a Dominant when I'm with my submissive. Hard to be a Dom if you lack confidence. Les (Purveyor of Fine, handcrafted Kink) Thats so true... quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop makes sense to me, breathes. Personally, while I think quite well of myself, and like myself immensely... having someone LOVE me helps me to see myself through their eyes..and come to love myself. Does that make sense? It makes perfect sense to me[:)] quote: ORIGINAL: azropedntied This has always been a struggle for me , as i am no narcissistic type person let alone in love with myself .My dog s seem to dig me then again i feed them too .My self esteem seems to have gained some ground in recent years but i am who i am .I do think if your projecting a negitive view about yourself to others they may see that and concur but thats only speculative . I always say i know i need work like an old car but i try and be the best me i can be . I like that analogy

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:19:43 PM)
having someone who loves you...opens up so many possibilities and a ton of GOOD emotions. if your alone...there is little chance that you will be happy. humans need to have people around them. it changes you soooooooooo much. and once you lose someone you just go into depression. im alone...have been alone all my life. because i am different. my so called friends left me when i came out.. and that totally changed my self esteem for the crapper. very little positive in my life right now. but im still living. i can not say that i love myself...but i can say i dont hate myself. i need a spark in my life. it will give me energy and positive feelings. if (thats a big if) it ever happens that someone loves me...my life will completely change for the better.

breatheasone -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:23:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl having someone who loves you...opens up so many possibilities and a ton of GOOD emotions. if your alone...there is little chance that you will be happy. humans need to have people around them. it changes you soooooooooo much. and once you lose someone you just go into depression. im alone...have been alone all my life. because i am different. my so called friends left me when i came out.. and that totally changed my self esteem for the crapper. very little positive in my life right now. but im still living. i can not say that i love myself...but i can say i dont hate myself. i need a spark in my life. it will give me energy and positive feelings. if (thats a big if) it ever happens that someone loves me...my life will completely change for the better. I honestly understand..... me for it was helpful to begin to focus on me...my life....and what I could do for me to make me better and happier. I know that sounds selfish, but its not.....NOT giving someone else the power to make you a happy person, but rather be in control of your own feelings and thoughts, is never a selfish thing to do....IMHO

WingedSnake -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:23:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill snip Hard to be a Dom if you lack confidence. Les (Purveyor of Fine, handcrafted Kink) This should be true, but on the other hand, there is a fair number of people who will try to use (mostly without or only with temporary success) being a dominant to fill a confidence void.

batshalom -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:26:14 PM)
Maybe you don't have to love yourself, but it is harder for someone to love you if you loathe yourself, for a variety of reasons. As you can see, that phrase isn't as catchy or as memorable or as powerful as "In order for someone else to love you, you have to love yourself." It's really a matter of degree.

MrSpectacular -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:28:14 PM)
To the OP - you are right it is easier for someone to love you if you love yourself. Love is a powerful word - I would say respect yourself, but love is ok also. The same is true for other things also. It is easier to share humor if it is part of you also etc, you tend to get decency from people if you yourself are decent.

WingedSnake -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:30:28 PM)
I always thought, that the love myself as in a unconditioned always the same staying ability, was asking a bit too much. Although i mostly find myself great, there are moments or days where i am not so content, and necessarily so to grow. But, what i am quite sure about is the following, being happy and assured in your body, mind and soul leads to being easy able to meet new people and form connections of all kinds and ultimately is the best way for a long time realitionship filled with love, laughter and sex/sm.

Noah -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:30:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone Its been said..."If you don't love yourself, you can't expect someone else to love you." I think I disagree with this....I mean, I don't LOVE myself....heavy like maybe. [;)] Now I get the meaning of that saying....but I think more accurate might be...Its easier for someone to love you, if you love yourself. Thoughts?... The word love can mean so many things, some very much different from one another. It might help to spend a few moments thinking or sharing your idea about what "love" might or should mean in that sentence. As for "expect(ing) someone to love you", well there again what kind of expectation you're talking about will have a lot to do with where you end up, I think. Anyway, being loved just when you least expect it can be pretty cool, even miraculous. Just ask the guy who met the good Samaritan by the side of the road.

MzMia -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:32:11 PM)
I love the hell out of myself. I realized about 20 years ago, that if I could not love and depend myself, then I was in bad fucking shape. The more you love yourself, the better you take care of yourself, and the less you allow others to hurt or take advantage of you. Many of us did not have the best parents in the world, it is possible to parent yourself. I remember about 15 years ago, a woman that had a ceremony to marry herself. I think I am already married to myself. lol Being in love with yourself is GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! [sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif][sm=mrpuffy.gif] If they are on they're side, and you are on their side..... WHO THE HELL IS ON YOUR SIDE? [:D][:D][:D]

breatheasone -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:32:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WingedSnake quote: ORIGINAL: SirJohnMandevill snip Hard to be a Dom if you lack confidence. Les (Purveyor of Fine, handcrafted Kink) This should be true, but on the other hand, there is a fair number of people who will try to use (mostly without or only with temporary success) being a dominant to fill a confidence void. Unfortunately thats a true statment...the good news is those kind are usually pretty easy to spot(but not always) quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom Maybe you don't have to love yourself, but it is harder for someone to love you if you loathe yourself, for a variety of reasons. As you can see, that phrase isn't as catchy or as memorable or as powerful as "In order for someone else to love you, you have to love yourself." It's really a matter of degree. Yep...I agree...I don't think its not possible for someone to love you if you don't love yourself....just easier if you do[;)] quote: ORIGINAL: MrSpectacular To the OP - you are right it is easier for someone to love you if you love yourself. Love is a powerful word - I would say respect yourself, but love is ok also. The same is true for other things also. It is easier to share humor if it is part of you also etc, you tend to get decency from people if you yourself are decent. Thanks MrSpectacular I agree with you...you tend to get back what you put out there....thats kinda what I was trying to say when I replied to faerytattoodgirl

Noah -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:33:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: batshalom Maybe you don't have to love yourself, but it is harder for someone to love you if you loathe yourself, for a variety of reasons. As you can see, that phrase isn't as catchy or as memorable or as powerful as "In order for someone else to love you, you have to love yourself." It's really a matter of degree. "Love your Neighbor as yourself." For some people it is a matter of decree.

GreedyTop -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:33:31 PM)
faery? FWIW, I have come to sincerely admire you. I know that's no substitute for love, but be assured that there are people here that care.. even if from afar hugs

WingedSnake -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:33:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone snip I honestly understand..... me for it was helpful to begin to focus on me...my life....and what I could do for me to make me better and happier. I know that sounds selfish, but its not.....NOT giving someone else the power to make you a happy person, but rather be in control of your own feelings and thoughts, is never a selfish thing to do....IMHO breatheasone (btw what a beautiful handle) the way you describe above, this learning process is truly a street for reaching a much happier existence, my congratulations for choosing this road Ruth

GreedyTop -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:36:50 PM)
~FR~ ok, I need to brush up on my German.....lol Hiya, Ruth!

Noah -> RE: Love thyself? (2/16/2008 7:38:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WingedSnake ... . Although i mostly find myself great, there are moments or days where i am not so content, and necessarily so to grow. ... I think the kind of love referred to in the topic sentence isn't the love we have for a great things (I love great food, great places, great music) but rather it is a love which loves a person, which is a whole thing, indivisable. One of its marks is the way it attaches ust as well to the great and the ungreat in the beloved. If you don't interrupt your love for others when you notice something ungreat in them then it should be fine to be just as generous with yourself.

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