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Maya2001 -> RE: Love thyself? (2/17/2008 9:14:20 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl
what if you have a desire to change...(which i do).... but you can not change (which i cant)...because of your situation.... my health and my income for instance prevent me from changing my current living state... i want to live in my own apt and not have to rent in a townhouse with roomy's. privacy is important.
i want to work...but i cant because of my health. being productive is very important and income is very important. i have never worked in my life and never can. due to my heart condition.
just 2 simple scenarios.
sometimes people put up their own roadblocks in life, in certain ways I have done it myself in the past
for example you just stated you can never work, you have a mind that functions, you stated before you did modeling, you have an education, you are computer literate, you are functional enough to serve as a sub to someone. yes you maybe disabled but it does not mean you cannot work, it does mean finding fields of work that will work with your limitations, I have a 25% disability from an injury that occured 16 years ago during the first 6 years of was far more disabled than now but still worked and have continued to work and supported and raised a child. I used to have a business partner some 22 years ago who had cerebral palsy, his parents when they realized as a baby dumped him in childrens aids he grew up being told he was mentally retarded as well since he had serious speech impediments as well, had attempted suicide several times thinking he was a burden as a teenager finally enough anger built up and he decided to show the world he was not a mental and physical cripple, the first signs of him starting to love himself... he started to learn to fight and work his body, overtime built enough strength to get to the point where he was able to gain mobility, using crutches and braces, the staff at CAS started to realize also he had the capability and serious desire to learn, went into speech therapy and started school, by the time at met him he was working on his masters degree he doing social work and computer sciences which is where we had partnered up to create a computer program for the Waterloo Country School Board to handle special education a lot of our work was then used to create for the province. The point was he far more disabled and had more handicaps in life then you have to start building himself a life to make himself independent. Even at the time I met him he was still frustrated and angry at time against the prejudices he faced daily being called a mental retard, and a body that had to fight with to make co-operate, but he learned to love himself enough not to give up. He also had to fight with a government system that did not have close to the benefits of providing aid as we have today to help disabled people become educated and learn to live independently. When I ended up injury my spine I had 2 options fusing the spine from my neck to below my shoulder blades which would have left me with far great disability but would have eased the pain or try heavy chiro care which end being 2 to 3 times a week for 3 years plus several physio therapy sessions I choose the latter even though it meant having to persist with very intense pain on a 24/7 basis and constant headaches and it took 7 years to get to 75% functionality and seems to have continued to improve since with gradually work/activitiy hardening, I even develop fibromyalgia, and even that I have learned to fight against all thorugh this I was also a single parent raising a child alone because I learned an important lesson from my former business partner, the biggest handicaps is not the of body but in the mind. I know my injury does not compare to your health problems but my former partner had far more obstacles than what you have, starting out as a wheelchair bound, illiterate child with serious speech problem who was believed to be incapable of learning, so was denied an education . Even using a computer for him is difficult due stiff muscles in his hands, and fingers that make them deformed looking and serious muscle spasms that cause very jerky movements, so keying anything into the computer takes him several times longer that the average person.
There are several type of jobs that can be done with your handicaps especially in computer fields that could allow you to work from home, even training and schooling can be done from a computer online at homeand would allow flexibility in hours, there are goverment grants and loans to help cover the costs of going to school and retraining, so the help and work is there and available but you have to want it bad enough to seek it out and love yourself enough to fight for to better yourself, sometimes pushing you ownself to your limits and sometimes even beyond instead of laying down in defeat in victim menality mode.
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