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RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 10:59:29 AM

pixieunleashed

Posts: 105
Joined: 7/11/2004
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Back to the main question about vanillia relationships and wheater a woman can cum on command from those.....I have in my experiences with a vanilla man came from a kiss and no other physical stimulation, when it happened, he knew, and immediately said...do it again! and kissed me and I came again...etc...till the funness of that new thing ended, and we were off to broader horizons. Not sure if that is the same kinda thing you are talking about or not.

thanks for reading this, have a great day,

pixie

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**please note that I realize that I am just as full of crap as everybody else, feel free to remind me anytime**

If you understand it.......you've missed the point.

[image]http://img33.exs.cx/img33/2424/pixieunleashed-2.jpg[/image]

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 21

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 1:23:22 PM

EStrict

Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
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quote:

The funny thing is, now we have discovered that she cannot cum without my being involved. She has to hear my voice. She says it is as if her body obeys me now instead of her. Smart body.

Hello Sir,

This is the reason that I hope Master never does anything like this. Though I have always been able to cum easily, I have never been trained to cum on command. It's something that I have never hoped to learn, because the first person I knew that was trained that way was miserable. The dominate whose voice was the only her body responded to was killed in a car accident, and she wasn't able to cum no matter how hard she tried (and trust me, she tried). Basically, as mentioned, this is a form of brainwashing, and if the dominant doesn't also program an *off* switch for it, they are doing something life altering, so I hope they don't do it casually....

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Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 22

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 2:14:46 PM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

Angelika, Thorns, Taggard and Voltare pretty much do the same as I did. I made her play and forbid her to cum unless I said so. If she failed, she was punished. The funny thing is, now we have discovered that she cannot cum without my being involved. She has to hear my voice. She says it is as if her body obeys me now instead of her. Smart body.

Ah this post brings back fond memories. I was conditioned or trained very much the same way as all have described here. And after about a month of intense conditioning, all it took was a certain word from him and I was in the throes of ecstasy. In the car driving some where, he would call me at work, in the middle of the night. No place or time was out of the question. lol Needless to say he enjoyed his new power over me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it too.

But . . . . . when we parted. It took longer to uncondition myself. A lot longer! And although I can laugh about it now, it was very frustrating at the time.

Specially when some one new comes in your life. I don't know if there is an equivalent to "blue balls" for women, but I think I experienced it.

All in all, I would do it again in a heartbeat. It was a fantastic experience.

Attachment (1)

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(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 23

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 3:52:46 PM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
I think you hit the nail on the head. If there is a psychological barriar to orgasm in the first place, the sort of 'training' involved with orgasm on command will either make it much easier, or much harder to attain.

I agree. I think for me, putting pressure to do it on command would have the opposite effect, at least until the problem had been fixed.

quote:

Having said that, the body seems to (in my opinion) be quite resiliant in fighting the minds barriers - it *wants* to enjoy that orgasm. I've only known one woman in my experiences who just couldn't reconcile her psychological barriers, and they were pretty severe.

Having a partner who is helpful and understanding, and wants to take it slowly to achieve it, without putting pressure to perform would certainly make it easier.
Stephan[/font]

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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 24

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 4:03:41 PM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

Having a partner who is helpful and understanding, and wants to take it slowly to achieve it, without putting pressure to perform would certainly make it easier.

Oh...erm...yes, that's quite true. Then again, if we all had the perfect partners already, we wouldn't have personal ads on a matchmaking site, would we (grins.)

Stephan

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(in reply to kiki blue)

Post #: 25

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 4:22:09 PM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Voltare
Oh...erm...yes, that's quite true. Then again, if we all had the perfect partners already, we wouldn't have personal ads on a matchmaking site, would we (grins.)

Heh. I can't say I honestly expect to meet anyone through a personal ad, but I'm open to the experience, and hey, you never know.

But I like the community interaction more :)

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 26

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 10:09:56 PM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
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quote:

I haven't trained anyone yet, but I did know someone who trained himself to cum when he desired it. When we were together, we could go on for a long time before cuming, and he would always ask me, do you want me to cum yet? When i said no, he kept going but the minute I said yes, he would cum right away.

just my perspective/opinion, but it sounds to me more like he trained himself to hold the orgasm back until he wanted release, rather than to orgasm whenever he decided to - a petty distinction, perhaps, but I know of at least 1 technique to delay/hold back my own orgasm

in my mind, for a male to be trained to cum on command/demand it would have to be the same as the female - no foreplay, not even anything sexual need be going on - just <command/demand> and *splooge*

Apply usual caveats here

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Post #: 27

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 10:13:28 PM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
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quote:

Any thoughts on this?

cant really respond to the vanilla aspect of the question, as I have not been in a vanilla relationship for over 7 years

as to the training method, I had heard a variant of what everyone else has described here - simply repeating the chosen word/phrase of command each and every time your sub/slave has an orgasm - Pavlovian response instillation type deal

Apply usual caveats here

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Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 28

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/15/2004 10:28:30 PM

proudsub

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From: Washington
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I wonder if it's possible for a woman to train herself to cum on demand. Anyone have experience with that?

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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(in reply to pixieunleashed)

Post #: 29

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/16/2004 7:07:40 AM

pixieunleashed

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Joined: 7/11/2004
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Cumming on demand by yourself, is possible. I know of a "vanilla" woman that has gotten very in touch with her psychic powers and can have an orgasm pretty much whenever she wants to. The word "demand" implys instant results, and with her I remember her telling me it took 2 mins of concentration without touching herself.

Being as curious as I am, I decided to try it myself, and I sat for 15 mins or so, and didn't get anything but turned on. I was not surprised by this as I very rarely cum when I am by myself. (maybe 1 in a 100 times)

thank you for reading this, have a great day,

pixie

_____________________________

**please note that I realize that I am just as full of crap as everybody else, feel free to remind me anytime**

If you understand it.......you've missed the point.

[image]http://img33.exs.cx/img33/2424/pixieunleashed-2.jpg[/image]

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 30

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/16/2004 10:47:01 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I know several people who participate on the orgasm on demand process. It is'nt for me. Although, I guess it would depend on who you are with. The people I know have no tact..cooth or whatever you'd like to call it. They have their submissives orgasm at work, grocery stores, in front of children. To me, its like when a weak person gets power. They abuse it.

However, I am not saying Estring even mentioned that. I am stating what I have witnessed with the people I happen to know in real life.

I've only had one vanilla relationship in my entire life. Could I orgasm on command then? Perhaps. All I need is a suggestion in my mind. Generally a soft touch on the right area of my hand or arm. I think it is entirely possible. I guess the real question is, would people use their abilities in a vanilla relationship?

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 31

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/16/2004 6:29:07 PM

pixieunleashed

Posts: 105
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I guess the real question is, would people use their abilities in a vanilla relationship?

Good question, Gloria, if I may add one...

If vanilla people used the cumming on demand thing, would it be still a vanilla relationship?

just a thought, have a great day,

pixie

_____________________________

**please note that I realize that I am just as full of crap as everybody else, feel free to remind me anytime**

If you understand it.......you've missed the point.

[image]http://img33.exs.cx/img33/2424/pixieunleashed-2.jpg[/image]

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 32

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/20/2004 6:02:04 PM

sub4hire

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I think it would be a vanilla relationship Pixie. If you look at the statistics something like 80%+ of the populations had dabbled in Bondage. Some form of D/s on a daily basis. They just are not enlightened enough to know.
So, if ignorant it remains vanilla right?

Most all of the people I know who program people to orgasm on command are those into hypnosis. A few have even written books on the topic. If they ever become famous I'll be a millionairre. Basically hypnoter hypnotizes hypnotee to orgasm by touching the nail beds...etc.
They do. When you are hypnotized with each passing hypnosis you trust the hypnotist more and more. Each time they can take you deeper. More of a suggestion.

So, in reference to my above comment. These people were told by their ex's. Don't make me orgasm at work. At the PTA meeting..etc. They did now they are all alone. Out selling their little story to new people.

(in reply to pixieunleashed)

Post #: 33

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/20/2004 6:15:43 PM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Do you think then kiki, that something like this could help you become *more* orgasmic? (Or is that what you meant by *help keep us going*).

I think that it's a nice fantasy, and one day, would like it to happen. At the moment, the 'pressure' to perform would be more hindrance than help, and keeping it in the realm of fantasy than as a workable goal could possibly help move it along.

Of course, tackling the underlying problems that make orgasm hard would be helpful, though possibly just as hard.

Hey, Kiki-
I am not very orgasmic and the idea of being 'trained' to come on command makes me nervous and the pressure is even greater than when I'm having normal sex and the guy asks "Are you cumming" Did you cum?" It's horrible. I think that you are right in your above quote, and agree that the 'training' could be more of a hinderance than a help. And I still haven't figured out why I'm "not very orgasmic." I'm not even sure how to address the problem. There is really no point to this post, except to tell you that I understand what you said.
As Always
B

(in reply to kiki blue)

Post #: 34

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/21/2004 10:51:59 AM

lchristym

Posts: 21
Joined: 7/5/2004
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I wonder if it's possible for a woman to train herself to cum on demand. Anyone have experience with that?

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proudsub

As ScorpioMaster has already said that I have learned to cum on command (love you Sir). This was done in vanilla over 30 years ago. It was started by a boyfriend that was into the Kama Sutra and Tantras. I finished the training myself when he was gone (killed in Nam). Recently I have changed my cum on command phrase, it was getting to the point to many knew my old phrase (Scorpio and another Dom that knows it tended to have fun with it in social situations and others picked up on it ~smile~). Although the old command works I can hold it back when needed. Took a long time to do that.

Use the same techniques that the Doms use when you masturbate. Pick something out of the ordinary as well. When I was trained with the first command the phrase was not used, now it is almost everywhere (another good reason to change it). Like Scorpio said I didn't have to hear it. All I had to do was read it written or even you could just lip it to me. As long as I had to mentally say it in my head I went off. That is from using it for over 30 years myself.

As for those of you that have problems with orgasm in any way. Get a good book on Tantras and Kama Sutra. Not the positions books. You want ones that teach the philosophy. If you anyone is interested I would be glad to find some and get the titles and ISBN # so you can get them yourself. Contact me in my e-mail, not here. Be safe and well, have fun,
chris

< Message edited by lchristym -- 7/21/2004 10:53:18 AM >

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 35

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/21/2004 1:32:21 PM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin
There is really no point to this post, except to tell you that I understand what you said.

I think it also helps to reassure those of us who aren't easily orgasmic that there's nothing "wrong" with us, that we're not "abnormal". Would I like to be more orgasmic? Sure, but it's not the be all and end all. I stilll can and do enjoy sex. I have some idea of what it is that's stopping me, that allows me to get close, but can't go any further, but it's not easy to work past. Hopefully my next partner will be more understanding than my last.

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Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

Post #: 36

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/21/2004 2:39:39 PM

LadyAngelika

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue
I think it also helps to reassure those of us who aren't easily orgasmic that there's nothing "wrong" with us, that we're not "abnormal". Would I like to be more orgasmic? Sure, but it's not the be all and end all.

I agree with you kiki. It isn't wrong at all. And perhaps this sounds weird coming from me because I'm highly orgasmic. But I've had a few girlfriends who were not really all that orgasmic so the issue is one I know well.

It is ultimately a link between mind and body. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you haven't already heard or thought of yourself. And yes, it is quite common.

That said, there is no easy *quick fix* to becoming more orgasmic but there is quite a bit of literature.
http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm -- is a good start.

Hoping it might useful to you.

- LA

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Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to kiki blue)

Post #: 37

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/21/2004 7:55:31 PM

baileythorne

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Joined: 6/6/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

I am not very orgasmic and the idea of being 'trained' to come on command makes me nervous and the pressure is even greater than when I'm having normal sex and the guy asks "Are you cumming" Did you cum?" It's horrible.

And I still haven't figured out why I'm "not very orgasmic." I'm not even sure how to address the problem. There is really no point to this post, except to tell you that I understand what you said.
As Always
B

You are not alone. I have begun advising partners to tell me "don't you dare cum!" and that does help at times ('cause I know they won't be upset if I do... very convoluted).

I've given up trying to understand it or fix it. I've also quit dating men who's ego is tied to how many times he can get his partner off. I get there often enough to suit me and I need partners who aren't threatened when it doesn't happen predictably. They exist (yipee!)

I believe this is also why I was so attracted to BDSM. I allows me the intimacy I crave, even when no orgasms are involved.

So, ditto what you said :-)

--bailey

_____________________________

Dance like no one's watching and
Love like you've never been hurt.

(in reply to MzBerlin)

Post #: 38

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/22/2004 3:22:44 AM

MzBerlin

Posts: 378
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Hello Everyone in the Big, Bad World-
*sigh of relief for Berlin*

This is the first place I've been able to talk about without being embarassed. I'm happy that other chicks have felt the pressure I have and it isn't a big deal. I have never thought it was a big deal, but other people have so it made me wonder if I was the one that was crazy. (Hmm, that seems to apply quite a bit to me. Need to ask the shrink about that one.

) Anyhoo- Thankyou, thankyou, T/thankyou.
As Always
Berlin

(in reply to baileythorne)

Post #: 39

RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/22/2004 3:46:27 AM

kiki blue

Posts: 315
Joined: 1/16/2004
From: Brisbane, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
It is ultimately a link between mind and body. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you haven't already heard or thought of yourself. And yes, it is quite common.

I have thought a lot about this (I've been doing huge amounts of introspection and prodding and poking myself over the last year), and I'm sure part of it is linked strongly to control. Without going into too much detail, I know some events that have caused emotional /intellectual blocks, which I guess manifest in physical ways.

It's strange how I'll tell a message board full of strangers this, but haven't discussed it with my closest friends. I guess it's part of the "stigma". But dammit, I shouldn't give into that!

quote:

That said, there is no easy *quick fix* to becoming more orgasmic but there is quite a bit of literature.
http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/tips.htm -- is a good start.

Thanks for the link, I'll spend some time looking through it:)

Even if I'm not easily orgasmic, it is still fun trying

_____________________________

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 40

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