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RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/22/2004 4:12:09 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue
It's strange how I'll tell a message board full of strangers this, but haven't discussed it with my closest friends. I guess it's part of the "stigma". But dammit, I shouldn't give into that!

Yeah. But it is sometimes easier to talk to strangers about it. And being that it's all on you computer, you can turn us off anytime you want.

quote:


Even if I'm not easily orgasmic, it is still fun trying


Definitely. And with an understanding partner who is open minded, it can be a blast.

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/22/2004 5:45:24 AM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue


Even if I'm not easily orgasmic, it is still fun trying


Practice practice practice....

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to kiki blue)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/22/2004 7:53:43 AM   
JinCap


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/16/2004
Status: offline 		thread struck my eye .. and wondering if anyone else has experienced same ..

i have vaginal ejaculation, which i call "ve."

separate from that i have orgasms - which are difficult to achieve.
i "ve" on command from my Dom, but orgasm is much more work .....

jin

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/22/2004 2:39:06 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JinCap
i have vaginal ejaculation, which i call "ve."


... or female ejaculation... or gushing… or "squirting" (shudders)... or Old Faithful?

It's a normal but more rare occurrence (and in my opinion this is more psycho/sociological then it is physical). It is wonderful to experience, yes. And after that, your lovers do not have to ask if you have cum. The proof is... well everywhere!

Some people have to practice to get there; some people discover it on their own. For some, it's every time they orgasm, for others it's occasional. For me, I have to sort of let my guard down and be completely comfortable.

Also, the more I am stimulated, the more copious it is. I guess it's comparable to male ejaculation that way. In fact, the fluid that is ejaculated from the paraurethral glands is the same alkaline fluid as male ejaculatory matter, without the sperm. (Want to know more? http://www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/n_ejacula.htm)

I discovered it masturbating at 18 and thought there was something wrong with me. Took me another year to figure out what everything was about. I wish they taught us this stuff in sex ed!!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to JinCap)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/23/2004 6:26:27 PM   
j2003


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzBerlin

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiki blue

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
Do you think then kiki, that something like this could help you become *more* orgasmic? (Or is that what you meant by *help keep us going*).


I think that it's a nice fantasy, and one day, would like it to happen. At the moment, the 'pressure' to perform would be more hindrance than help, and keeping it in the realm of fantasy than as a workable goal could possibly help move it along.

Of course, tackling the underlying problems that make orgasm hard would be helpful, though possibly just as hard.


Hey, Kiki-
I am not very orgasmic and the idea of being 'trained' to come on command makes me nervous and the pressure is even greater than when I'm having normal sex and the guy asks "Are you cumming" Did you cum?" It's horrible. I think that you are right in your above quote, and agree that the 'training' could be more of a hinderance than a help. And I still haven't figured out why I'm "not very orgasmic." I'm not even sure how to address the problem. There is really no point to this post, except to tell you that I understand what you said.
As Always
B


My first post here :) This is something that interests me.

I trained my wife to orgasm on command using hypnosis; to the original poster, this was before we were into this lifestyle. Basically, I put her into a deep trance with post hypnotic suggestions and then we did the dead with her either having an orgasm or not depending on whether or not she had permission. I spent the next several days re-enforcing and having fun with it. I used hypnosis mainly because she was not very orgasmic and would have felt immense pressure from the training another way. A nice side effect is that she has become multi-orgasmic; unless she isn't allowed to at all.

I've also found that if I tell her to orgasm from another stimulus; she will. For example, if we're walking through the mall and I tell her to orgasm upon seeing a woman she is attracted to; it happens as soon as she sees that attractive woman.


J

(in reply to MzBerlin)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/26/2004 3:49:00 PM   
slaveofEstring


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		It has been really interesting to read all of the replies to my Sir's original post. I thought maybe I should also share since his post was about me.

I was in a normal "vanilla" relationship for 28 years. I would never have left that relationship, but as it went it happened. Before the end of my marriage I had found information on this lifestyle on the internet. I became very interested and very aroused by the things I read and saw. I had always wanted more in our sex life but that never happened. One thing I always felt I could do was to cum more than once, but my husband never would make that possible. When he was done, he was done, you know.

When I started spending time with Sir he opened a whole new world to me. The first time we were together I secretly hoped that I would hate the whole thing. I didn't. I felt more sexual than I had ever felt in my whole life. It was like a sleeping giant woke up inside of me. I have never felt this loved, cherished, and protected. I did begin to want to please and serve him. It happened pretty quickly too. My whole being began to respond to him. I think that is why I was able to cum on demand. It's seems I stay on the verge of orgasim all the time anyway these days. Even when we are not together. I haven't thought of it as pressure. It has been pleasure for me. It seems like I can't get enough. If I think about it to much it becomes scary the way I have changed. I am a totally different person than I was even 2 months ago.

For now I try not to think too far ahead. I try to just focus on today and what my Sir says to me and pleasing and serving him. I am growing and learning and changing. He is helping me to become the woman I should have been allowed to be all along. I am very gratefull to him for that. I never though I could orgasim more than once, let alone many many times in a row. It is really great!

I hope my perspective helps.

Vickie

(in reply to j2003)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 7/26/2004 6:56:08 PM   
Clay1


Posts: 12
Joined: 7/19/2004
Status: offline 		Boy! Orgasm control was a nightmare for me when I had my online experiences. Since I am a newbie, I did not expect to fulfill my mistress's need in this respect. I really think a mistress-in-training would help me out with this, so as to please her as well.

~Clay~

(in reply to Voltare)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/1/2004 5:53:29 AM   
MK007


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline 		slave of Estring :
YOUR POST IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF HOW WONDERFUL THIS TRAINING , WHEN SUCCESSFUL , CAN BE . CONGRATULATIONS Slave of Estring & Estring !

(in reply to slaveofEstring)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/1/2004 6:11:43 AM   
MK007


Posts: 9
Joined: 4/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EStrict

quote:

The funny thing is, now we have discovered that she cannot cum without my being involved. She has to hear my voice. She says it is as if her body obeys me now instead of her. Smart body.



Hello Sir,

This is the reason that I hope Master never does anything like this. Though I have always been able to cum easily, I have never been trained to cum on command. It's something that I have never hoped to learn, because the first person I knew that was trained that way was miserable. The dominate whose voice was the only her body responded to was killed in a car accident, and she wasn't able to cum no matter how hard she tried (and trust me, she tried). Basically, as mentioned, this is a form of brainwashing, and if the dominant doesn't also program an *off* switch for it, they are doing something life altering, so I hope they don't do it casually....

IN RESPONSE TO Estrict :
CONCERNING THE ABOVE MENTIONED EXAMPLES....THIS IS A FOLLOW UP TO A PREVIOUS POST TOO .
I WOULD BE EXTREMELY INTERESTED , AS TO THE PRECAUTIONS ONE MIGHT EMPLOY IN AN EFFORT TO AVOID EMOTIONAL & PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA AS A BY-PRODUCT OF ORGASM ON DEMAND TRAINING . I MAY BE OLD , BUT I STILL CAN LEARN .

(in reply to EStrict)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/1/2004 11:52:11 AM   
Destinysskeins


Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		MK007,

i don't think You're going to receive very many takers on the how-tos of preventing trauma associated with this training. Apparently, the answer for this one is the same that's given to all the other changing a submissive may do to fulfill their Dom's ideal and are then left to their own devices when that Dom decides for some reason they can't fulfill Their role any longer - *shrugs* time.

A side note to Doms that will take offense at this - please don't....yes, i'm a bit distraught but no, i'm not pegging all Doms into this same hole.

< Message edited by Destinysskeins -- 9/1/2004 11:53:18 AM >

_____________________________

Wilted petals fall from a rose like bitters tears wrung from a heart whose dreams have shattered. What hope for the future can be seen by eyes that are darkened with sorrow neverending?

i'm not manic-depressive, i just have an elliptical personality

(in reply to MK007)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/2/2004 7:27:46 AM   
Demidion


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/20/2004
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		What a good discussion. This is a very interesting form of control... I had never considered this. I am going to have to explore this some more! Thanks!!!

(in reply to Destinysskeins)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/6/2004 2:55:46 PM   
sting516


Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline 		The post above which references being trained to do this through hypnosis is one i find interesting...in part, because i've found that i'm rather susceptible to hypnosis (was a demo subject on a network TV show once), and because i seem to really enjoy doing things against what i think of as my nature...the thought of being trained to cum through hypnosis, or by some other method, sounds to me to be extremely hot.


sting

(in reply to Demidion)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/6/2004 3:08:30 PM   
NoCalOwner


Posts: 241
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Destinysskeins

MK007,

i don't think You're going to receive very many takers on the how-tos of preventing trauma associated with this training.


I wouldn't be so sure, it's been a concern of mine too. When you're 20 years older than your sub, you have to take into account things like your own mortality.

I will probably switch my slave over to a secret, non-verbal signal of some sort. It seems like a lot of the problems arise when it's linked to the sound of someone's voice.

(in reply to Destinysskeins)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/6/2004 5:32:26 PM   
Destinysskeins


Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		*smiles* thank You for taking these considerations in mind. It shows a great deal of thoughtfulness on behalf of Your slave.

Well wishes

_____________________________

Wilted petals fall from a rose like bitters tears wrung from a heart whose dreams have shattered. What hope for the future can be seen by eyes that are darkened with sorrow neverending?

i'm not manic-depressive, i just have an elliptical personality

(in reply to NoCalOwner)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/6/2004 11:16:36 PM   
Hisdragonfly


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/5/2004
Status: offline 		i think the very reason i bothered to set up a profile in this community is because i read this thread. God, it's wonderful to be talking about something that really matters, really has value and is a deeply penetrating topic rather than the usual babbling that goes on in other comms about how people aren't getting along on the message boards or how other message boards are just not interesting and they go on and on and on, while you're sighing, waiting and hoping for them to finally get to the point of the thread!

Don't know what it is lately but i can't seem to prevent myself from being sarcastic. Quite seriously, though, i used to hear of this coming on command and think it all very lovely and nice to believe but total bs, of course. Like another of the post-ers (i apologize for forgetting your name), prior to being with Master, i had difficulty coming at all. i just couldn't get past the mindmush, as it were. It was generally necessary to bring myself to orgasm during intercourse with my fingers... and i was married to a pretty terrific Lover (albeit no Dom). Psychology as they say and as has been said many times here, is almost everything.

Still, a girl like me with such difficulty was not likely to experience this phenomenon. Besides, it sounded pretty silly. A friend told me that she had been taught to come whenever the Dom simply said, "And now!" and that she'd be driving her car when the radio announcer began His show with those very words. Next thing she knows, she's nearly driving off the road. i said "wow" as though i meant it but i wasn't buyin'. When later it became apparent that Master intended to train me in this manner, i was really worried. my sexual existence is phenomenal understated and i have never had nor wish to ever have cause to feign something, especially an orgasm, with Master.

Since the ending of my marriage and since Master, i have become an extremely sexual creature. He would correct me and say that i have always been the slut that i am and that He wishes me to be. Still, i didn't want to fail Him, but He persisted. i, unlike most O/others here, don't have a clue what He did, what His method was though i noted that there was some of that sort of methodology, calculated intention taking place. What amazed me has already been said here and that is that my body obeyed. It obeyed Him. i can't bring myself to orgasm if my mind isn't in the right place, or if something hurts, etc. But Master made this body obey Him. i truly and often feel as though my own flesh has betrayed me!

As for my prior doubts, Master has already made of me quite the ejaculating slut, so when He commands me to come for Him, there is no question whether or not i have, if any passers by should be interested in knowing. i certainly no longer doubt what i experience, though sometimes like a guest invited as an afterthought. While i don't choose to think much on His exact methods, i will add that He seems to employ a variety. For one thing, i've been trained to come when scratched behind the ear. i've also been trained to come when "milked". And, yeah, He has been sadistic enough to have me come in public. i nearly choked myself to death to be quiet, (a turn-on when Master's doing it - no appeal when i do it to myself, go figure) and i did notice that the mess was not as much as usual, though still evident. i suppose that's the result of my mind fighting. i cannot express, however, how profoundly amazing it is to know that a Man can claim a woman so completely, so entirely that her own body would first obey Him. i pray He never trains it to stop breathing or for my heart to cease to beat. If i were to die in such a way, however, i couldn't help but find it beautiful.

Wonderful thread. Thank You, as i offer a little wave to E/everyone, though i do read a few voices i've known and missed!

nanci, property of Jeff

_____________________________

"Our chief want in life is someone who will inspire us to do what we can."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

(in reply to litaTshai)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/7/2004 4:54:47 AM   
MistressRoninS


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring

I have trained my new slave to cum on my command. I have done this with two other slaves in the past. I don't believe it is that common, but I can't say for sure.
My question is, is this possible in a vanilla relationship? In my opinion, I don't believe that a vanilla woman could give that deeply of herself to have this happen. As it has been quite awhile since I have been in a vanilla relationship, I had never even thought to make a woman do this back then. So maybe it is possible. Any thoughts on this?




Well my opinion, (trying not to.. generalize what “vanilla” means because it can mean a lot of things) vanilla people are the same as non vanilla in that we have the same minds as vanilla people the same general biology (unless you are with an alien hehe)..

With the same biology and mental process, the ability to "give oneself that deeply" is not exclusive to kinksters in my opinion. “Give” is all in perspective and plenty of vanilla people have deep sexual dedication to their partner without D/S and all of the kinkster dedication we are used to. Its just given in a different perspective. Like the word "stroll" meaning "walk" each of us has a different way of "giving" our self to another and its possible to be intense, dedicated, giving, unselfish, submissive, dominant, in control out of control.. in both vanilla and non vanilla relationships.

.. In that respect, all mental aspects of sexual function should be possible in a vanilla mindset as a non vanilla. I'd take a different perspective like the one above, " Orgasm on request".

Even the "vanilla" perspective of "on demand" might be portrayed or perceive differently by a "vanilla" person then say a kinkster because , "on demand" is something a dominant person might respond to as a command or order or being controlled ..and be prone to treat it with more regard, than a typical vanilla person who is being told what to do and doesn't know hide nor hair of what the power exchange of BDSM is about.

For instance, a typical command given to me by someone who as far as I know is vanilla will be noticed and considered..because I am dominant and a kinkster and recognize commands more profoundly because I need to regard them as such.. and I use them in my lifestyle.

If the person in general is not unhappy with being told what to do, it might be fun to learn to cum on command, not only is it an exciting new aspect of sexuality to explore with a partner (it has very very good advantages heh) If the person can make themselves come on demand...or learn with you to do it on demand, its not so much of a non vanilla concept.

Without being able yourself to step outside of the "kink" or "chocolate" perspective and see through the "vanilla" person's eyes, I would think it will be difficult to achieve your goal for orgasm control.

Consider putting aside the known paths of our lifestyle and approach it simply without role, and it might work easier. The concept of orgasm on command stand alone and without social or cultural context. Bring it up with her and talk about it on an equal level of dialog. Make it a mutual activity (as all consensual power exchanges are mutual activity agreed upon by two people).. All labels and lingo, roles dropped, we tend to be doing the same thing, all of us.


my two cents
MR

_____________________________

Nothing is to be feared, it is only to be understood.. MC

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/7/2004 5:12:10 AM   
MistressRoninS


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EStrict

quote:

The funny thing is, now we have discovered that she cannot cum without my being involved. She has to hear my voice. She says it is as if her body obeys me now instead of her. Smart body.



Hello Sir,

This is the reason that I hope Master never does anything like this. Though I have always been able to cum easily, I have never been trained to cum on command. It's something that I have never hoped to learn, because the first person I knew that was trained that way was miserable. The dominate whose voice was the only her body responded to was killed in a car accident, and she wasn't able to cum no matter how hard she tried (and trust me, she tried). Basically, as mentioned, this is a form of brainwashing, and if the dominant doesn't also program an *off* switch for it, they are doing something life altering, so I hope they don't do it casually....



Thank you for mentioning that... every person I have encountered who asks me to consider or if i consider orgasm control with them , i let them know that it is a form of mental control, it is switching the signals persay and is full on mental control... should be regarded with as much care and respect. Letting some one do it to you is a matter of severe trust in my opinion, doing it to another is a matter of supreme self control , responsibility and respect for the person.
MR

(in reply to EStrict)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/7/2004 5:50:22 AM   
ShrewWhisperer


Posts: 63
Joined: 8/26/2004
Status: offline 		a couple of caveats here,
1. I mean no disrespect to the orginal poster or anyone who has said anything about what can and cannot be done
2. any forth coming expression of doubt should be taken as a scientific doubt between equals, not a personal attack on anyone's verasity.

okay nice guy stuff out of the way. Female orgasm though is as much a matter of biology as it is psychology as it is upbringing & habit.

some women, --you hit the g-spot and boom there are vaginal orgasms going off more or less on timed command...and some women who just can't cum without clitorial stimulation. I'm saynig this in defense of the folks out there who read this thread and feel like faliures cuz they can't cum easily enough to fit into any of the points made.

Biology can be overcome to a certain point, and certainly upbringing can be, the psych of orgasm is the hardest one to whip cuz you're dealing with hard wiring and I'm not so certain the average sub will be advantaged by trusting the average dom in messing that deeply in her head.

Then there is the 'please master' thing too. There are too many slaves out in the world who will fib to please the one their with whether through faking orgasm or telling a dom what they think the dom wants to hear.

Then if I remember my Masters&JOhnson well enough women have differign intensity of orgasms....men have 2, ejaculation and full orgasm --which sadly most men don't know about the 2nd one if they made a mess well then they must be done....but a slave 'cumming' on command, I won't say it's impossible but I'd be dubious unless the girl goes to sleep for 8 hours and makes breakfast the next morning that it was anything but one of the lesser platuea's women can reach.

(in reply to MistressRoninS)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/7/2004 6:05:21 AM   
rain


Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline 		I find it relatively easy to cum on command; as it has been said before- if i'm brought to the edge, then made to retreat a few times...then it is easy to orgasm when *permitted*

Because i have more intense orgasms when i have a full bladder, one Dom was in the process of training me to urinate and cum at the same time, a far more difficult task, IMHO.

Being Domless at the moment, however, i'm free to orgasm as desired. <eg>

~rain~

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to ShrewWhisperer)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Orgasm On Demand - 9/7/2004 6:09:06 AM   
MistressRoninS


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rain

I find it relatively easy to cum on command; as it has been said before- if i'm brought to the edge, then made to retreat a few times...then it is easy to orgasm when *permitted*

Because i have more intense orgasms when i have a full bladder, one Dom was in the process of training me to urinate and cum at the same time, a far more difficult task, IMHO.

Being Domless at the moment, however, i'm free to orgasm as desired. <eg>

~rain~


With a full bladder i come more intense too.. nice post btw..


MR

(in reply to rain)
Profile   Post #: 60
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