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"Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 12:47:12 PM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline 		People do it for lust. They do it to be cool. They do it for money. They do it as 'therapy'.

People do bdsm for a lot of reasons.

And the least popular reason, I have found, is to do it for love.

And yet, bdsm for love makes the most sense, to me. In truth, I cannot do bdsm for any other reason.

I have said it is not enough to survive, that to live life fully requires one to love another with a whole heart. But it would appear this is a minority pov opposed to a vast majority of self-centeredness (judging from the myriad of profiles I've read).

What role does love play in your bdsm, if indeed it plays a role at all? And why does it play the role it does (or not, as the case may be)?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:06:20 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

But it would appear this is a minority pov opposed to a vast majority of self-centeredness (judging from the myriad of profiles I've read).


Hmmm, I dont agree, I guess we have read different profiles.

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Every single line means something.
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(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:17:22 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		No, you just don't view the world through Bob colored glasses.

~stef


_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:20:27 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I don't have to be IN LOVE to play with someone. I have to LIKE them though.  Playing with someone that I've given my heart to though, gives it a whole other dimension that I can't even come close to describing.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:27:56 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

People do it for lust. They do it to be cool. They do it for money. They do it as 'therapy'.

People do bdsm for a lot of reasons.

And the least popular reason, I have found, is to do it for love.

And yet, bdsm for love makes the most sense, to me. In truth, I cannot do bdsm for any other reason.

I have said it is not enough to survive, that to live life fully requires one to love another with a whole heart. But it would appear this is a minority pov opposed to a vast majority of self-centeredness (judging from the myriad of profiles I've read).

What role does love play in your bdsm, if indeed it plays a role at all? And why does it play the role it does (or not, as the case may be)?



Hiya Bob! Welcome back, I missed you.
I don't have casual relationships,casual sex, or engage in casual play.
I stopped those sort of things in my mid 20's.
I am not knocking those that do, BUT it would not be healthy or emotionally good for ME.
 
So yes, I need to be in a very close, trusting, and loving relationship, to engage
in BDSM activities.
{Especially since the activities that I enjoy the most, are freaky, sexual and nasty}
***You would not expect me to do the nasty with anyone would ya?***

I often wish I could play "casually", but I am not wired that way.


< Message edited by MzMia -- 2/17/2008 1:38:59 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:31:08 PM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Playing with someone that I've given my heart to though, gives it a whole other dimension that I can't even come close to describing.


That has been my experience, which is why I wonder why people settle for less.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:33:04 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		Fuck is a four letter word too.


Ohhh nooooo.  He's back.  lol
Welcome back Bob.  It's been boring without you.

_____________________________



(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:38:31 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Playing with someone that I've given my heart to though, gives it a whole other dimension that I can't even come close to describing.


That has been my experience, which is why I wonder why people settle for less.



I feel this way also.
But, to each their own!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:39:37 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Without love, anything is meaningless to me.

"Amour", un mot de cinq lettres...

_____________________________



(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:41:04 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		i'm with MzMia...i can't play casually either, it has to mean something to me with someone i love.  yeah, yeah...if you don't like it please click on the link below and converse with the big guy.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3


He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:42:49 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

That has been my experience, which is why I wonder why people settle for less.

Someone having different needs or desires than you doesn't mean they are "settling" for anything, Bob. 

~stef


_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:54:30 PM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I feel this way also.
But, to each their own!


I agree. We each walk our own path.

Its just that I rarely see the word "love" mentioned in fem-sub profiles (truth be told I don't peruse any other kind, which might explain discrepancies in observations).

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:55:55 PM   
charmdpetKeira


Posts: 916
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed
And yet, bdsm for love makes the most sense, to me.


Rephrase: I agree it's a good reason, if we are talking about love of self.

quote:

In truth, I cannot do bdsm for any other reason.


My reason is liberation of self.

quote:

What role does love play in your bdsm, if indeed it plays a role at all?


Love for my owner, is the result of learning I can trust and respect him. I prefer the sentiment “My heart is with you”, as I think it states more directly as to what love is.

quote:

And why does it play the role it does (or not, as the case may be)?


I am internally and externally intuitive; therefore, I naturally form a bond when opening myself to the degree a D/s relationship calls for.
 
Welcome back.
 
k

< Message edited by charmdpetKeira -- 2/17/2008 1:57:45 PM >

_____________________________

Life is tough, that does not mean it isn't fair.

There is no wrong choice, only consequence.

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 1:59:51 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		It's not "settling for less" if love and attachment isn't what you want. It's being true to what you want and who you are.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed


That has been my experience, which is why I wonder why people settle for less.


(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 2:01:04 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Well. From the sound of the repliesl looks like Bob is wrong on this one! 

(in reply to charmdpetKeira)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 2:02:13 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I feel this way also.
But, to each their own!


I agree. We each walk our own path.

Its just that I rarely see the word "love" mentioned in fem-sub profiles (truth be told I don't peruse any other kind, which might explain discrepancies in observations).



To tell you the truth, I think many here are scared to say they are seeking "LOVE".
I rarely hear or see anyone on these boards state, they Need and are looking for love.
Both male and female, Dominant and submissive, it is almost taboo to say you are seeking
a LOVING relationship---> along with BDSM.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 2/17/2008 2:04:06 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 2:22:32 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loveisallyouneed

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Playing with someone that I've given my heart to though, gives it a whole other dimension that I can't even come close to describing.


That has been my experience, which is why I wonder why people settle for less.



I don't feel that I am 'settling' for anything if I play with someone I'm not IN LOVE with.  If  I like someone well enough to play with them, then they are already in my heart to some degree.



_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Loveisallyouneed)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 2:26:15 PM   
Loveisallyouneed


Posts: 348
Joined: 2/5/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

To tell you the truth, I think many here are scared to say they are seeking "LOVE".
I rarely hear or see anyone on these boards state, they Need and are looking for love.
Both male and female, Dominant and submissive, it is almost taboo to say you are seeking
a LOVING relationship---> along with BDSM.


I have noticed this too.

There is, however, no lack of talk of casual play.

Could it be that Love is seen by some as a vulnerability, to be hidden and guarded or even rejected should it come their way?

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 2:30:05 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

To tell you the truth, I think many here are scared to say they are seeking "LOVE".
I rarely hear or see anyone on these boards state, they Need and are looking for love.
Both male and female, Dominant and submissive, it is almost taboo to say you are seeking
a LOVING relationship---> along with BDSM.



And you are quite correct. Love has taken the place of sex at the top of the list of taboos. As for sexual love, it seems as though it terrifies a lot of people.



_____________________________



(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: "Love" is a four-letter word - 2/17/2008 2:56:54 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		no love = no bdsm
no love = no relationship

im not here for sex or play or joining a 3rd or a group.  im not here for lust.
i am here for what my profile reads.  not many profiles will read like mine.
what i seek is rare. 


_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 20
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