quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

scoot over owner, I'm climbing in the boat with you. Primal play is hot as hell, while I'm not a huge fan of face slapping, and if it was done in any way derrogatory a mans nuts would end up in his chin... when done playfully in a scene it can be hella exciting. I have no qualms about things getting physically rough with a partner that you know and you trust, it can enhance the whole situation. Theres just something about taking a fiesty sub and whipping their fiestyness back into shape and letting them know that as much as they can dish you can take and then give 10 times worse *snicker* its hot hot hot hot hot hehehe....
 
Does it mean that *I* give up my " status" because I have a partner that when we play it gets close to out of hand ( never goes over that side but damn it gets close) we both tend to end up with bruises, sometimes scrapes, cuts whatever, there's physical evidence of a scrap behind, and theres nothing quite as "sweet" as to nurse a wound when yer physically exhausted after some serious rough and tumble play.. whew
 
Ok I am now off to find a cold shower and some coffee... *chuckle*

*edited for typos*

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

scoot over owner, I'm climbing in the boat with you. Primal play is hot as hell, while I'm not a huge fan of face slapping, and if it was done in any way derrogatory a mans nuts would end up in his chin... when done playfully in a scene it can be hella exciting. I have no qualms about things getting physically rough with a partner that you know and you trust, it can enhance the whole situation. Theres just something about taking a fiesty sub and whipping their fiestyness back into shape and letting them know that as much as they can dish you can take and then give 10 times worse *snicker* its hot hot hot hot hot hehehe.... 
 
*edited for typos*

I agree.  That doesn't have anything to do with the quesiton that was asked though.  edited OP post

The dominant treads lightly and will not push the submissive's limits and expand on what they already do.  Direct challenge of his authority seems to work well, but she hesitates to slap him.

BadOne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

And for some it takes a Primal type play to get into that right head space, would I engage in it with just anyone, no.. hell no, but for some people it just takes that physical nudge, push, shove, etc to get them off and running. If someone that I wasnt interested in playing with ( as far as primal type stuff) did that, oooo buddy he'd be in big trouble, but for the partner that I do engage in these kind of activities it usually is him that instgates and pushes my buttons, and I like it and I love him the more for doing it.
 
So if this newbie Dom and his newbie sub wife already partake in a physically rough sex life and to get him fired up and running and into his best Dom space, then why the hell would someone say not to? Just because someone may have a reservation and not enjoy the idea for themselves, so what? what ever happened to your kink aint my kink and if it floats your boat have at it?
 
Seems most people have taken this kind of activity as an insult, out of play time, and put it into an everyday situation, which by the OP's first post I fail to see where it has anything to do with outside of the playtime/bedroom, as he is already Dominant to her in vanilla life.
 
Who are any of us to really say what they can or can not enjoy as a couple? Why are things like this always looked at from the negative aspect. I did not see anywhere where it said that this girl was going to just out of no where walk over and slap this fella in the face.... if she was dumb enough to do that and he knocked her on her ass, thats her fault. Done within the context of play to arouse him and heighten his desire, its erotic and sexy as hell....
 
*edited for typos*

quote:

ORIGINAL: TysGalilah


slap Tysons face ?
no.
and we "do" explore erotic face slapping (posts you can find if you search my back threads ) .  But that is his hand on my face.

I have been put in a mindset by Tyson before where I have bitten, scratched, grabbed skin during primal space....but I have never slapped him or had the urge to. 

To slap a D-type face to "urge them on" ??
goad ?
why?  and who is in control when that happens?
if he is NOT there, he is just not there. 
but then again, I am not doing the bratty thing or acting out.
THAT wouldnt work with Tyson.  I would get my butt iiiiiiiignored and told to go home.

ahhhhhhhh sigh ...just love that mans control.

now, if it was commanded and pre-arranged, by Tyson..and his wishes that we both just go off on oneanother physically>>  it could be very erotic.
but that is not what the OP is talking about it appears.

goading...imo >  bratty behavior and topping from the bottom.

isnt  "making a dom, dominate you "
about the same as the thinking  " making a sub submit to you"  ????
its inspired but not demanded...or its not submission.
imo anyway.

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Hhhhmmmm...

Slapping me or any type of physical contact you haven't been given permission for does not push me into sadist or dominant mode.

It puts me in the "get your ass out my door" and "I'm calling the cops mode".

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If she wants him to be more confident in his dominance, the answer is not to challenge his authority and withdraw submission.
There is no short cut to him learning the ropes, so to speak.

What she should be doing is deciding if she wants just a play/casual relationship, and if so go find someone already at her level but if she wants a full relationship she should act submissively. She should ask him for what she wants, asking him to learn and think about it, and then wait for him to decide.

If she slaps his face, his response may well be that she isn't the right one for him, because she's withdrawn consent. She either allows him to make the decision of what, when and how hard or she doesn't.

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

I know that there will be an instinctive gutteral reaction to this thread, but allow me to explain a bit.  The parties involved are a new, but somewhat more studied and self-aware submissive and a new, less than certain dominant.  The submissive knows the dominant is capable of taking her in hand as she desires because she has seen it before in matters outside of the bedroom and it had her blood boiling by the time they were ready for some intimate time.  The dominant treads lightly and will not push the submissive's limits and expand on what they already do.  Direct challenge of his authority seems to work well, but she hesitates to slap him.

I am not in a position to advise as I often consider such drastic measures in my primary relationship as well (only about half kidding LOL).  I tend to think that it may work in the beginning until they can both get their bearings.  I also think there will come a time where she will find that she will pay dearly for doing so and, at that point, it will not only be unnecessary, but very ill advised.  I am just wondering if, in this early part of the relationship with both of the parties' lack of experience, this would still be a complete breech of decorum.  I know opinions will vary and I am just interested to see the different perspectives.  Keep in mind the newbie status of each; they are not seasoned like many on this forum.  Please also understand that they have an awesome relationship otherwise with fabulous communication.  It is just difficult for him to get to the correct initial headspace on his own at this point.  Are there better things she could do?  Are there suggestions for him?

Eager for Courteous Responses,
lovingpet

<edited for typos> 

Perhaps having her kneel...and do, or say certain things....or crawl to him....Something that will get his head in the right space through control, or...authority, whatever you call it....

quote:

I am just wondering if, in this early part of the relationship with both of the parties' lack of experience, this would still be a complete breech of decorum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:


Perhaps having her kneel...and do, or say certain things....or crawl to him....Something that will get his head in the right space through control, or...authority, whatever you call it....

Now we're talking!  He just can't always come up with them on his own when she is in front of him all trembly and ready.  He needs some naughty, nasty ideas?  And she needs begin to find her place before he lays one finger to her.  More suggestions please.

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Hhhhmmmm...

Slapping me or any type of physical contact you haven't been given permission for does not push me into sadist or dominant mode.

It puts me in the "get your ass out my door" and "I'm calling the cops mode".

She has the permission, not the desire.

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Hhhhmmmm...

Slapping me or any type of physical contact you haven't been given permission for does not push me into sadist or dominant mode.

It puts me in the "get your ass out my door" and "I'm calling the cops mode".

She has the permission, not the desire.

lovingpet

I'm unclear as to why a top would want to be slapped by his bottom or submissive except perhaps as a role-playing scenario where she "fights" in a con/non-con scene.

I'd be serious worried that someone claiming to be dominant who needs to be pushed this way is actually channeling anger not dominance.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Perhaps having her kneel...and do, or say certain things....or crawl to him....Something that will get his head in the right space through control, or...authority, whatever you call it....

Now we're talking!  He just can't always come up with them on his own when she is in front of him all trembly and ready.  He needs some naughty, nasty ideas?  And she needs begin to find her place before he lays one finger to her.  More suggestions please.

lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Perhaps having her kneel...and do, or say certain things....or crawl to him....Something that will get his head in the right space through control, or...authority, whatever you call it....

Now we're talking!  He just can't always come up with them on his own when she is in front of him all trembly and ready.  He needs some naughty, nasty ideas?  And she needs begin to find her place before he lays one finger to her.  More suggestions please.

lovingpet

You mention that direct actions seem to stir his dominant senses.  I wonder whether they've tried the less direct actions which might help him absorb her submission to him and make him stronger in his dominance?  Let me explain ... occasionally when we first see one another, Master will have me either strip or be in my undies, will put on my cuffs, clip my hands behind my back, blindfold me, and then sit in a comfy chair, fully clothed.  I kneel at his feet between his legs, resting my head on his chest.  We relax and just breathe together.  His hand strokes my hair.  We're quiet usually, though we have used the time to chat quietly about any issues between us.  I feel myself in this position sinking into my submissive self and he has said that this position, this time together, is very good for him also.  For him to see me in a vulnerable position before him, and bowing my head to him, and my being somewhat bound and blindfolded and being vulnerable ... it's a gorgeous thing. 

Perhaps rather than thinking she needs to stir him into his dominance with a slap, something like the above would show him intellectually as well as emotionally just how submissive she feels to him, which may help loosen his reins a bit.