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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:51:46 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

There are plenty of ways to achieve sexual pleasure without penetration... of course I would stay

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 21

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:56:42 AM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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There's more than one way to please a man.

Aside from that, yes, I would stay. What we have here is amazing, unique, and all-encompassing. I never want to be without him.

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 22

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:57:16 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

I have done so in the past, and would probably do so in the future. Like Julia said there's more than one way to exchange pleasure.

The problem comes, imho, when the one who can't feels guilty and won't talk about it, when there's absolutely no touching, even of the minds, much less of the hands. But...that's a whole 'nother thread.

Ultimately, however, it's a decision that should be reached by both.

Good luck!!
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 23

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:58:09 AM

SubbieOnWheels

Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
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I have seen at least two marriages (vanilla, but committed and loving) that stayed together even without sexual intercourse. In one case the husband had erectile dysfunction (before Viagra). They slept in the same bed but did no more than cuddle. The cuddling, however, was very warm and loving.

My mother was informed, after complications in childbirth, that she should not get pregnant again. At a time when effective birth control was not available, she and my dad talked about it and came to the decision that they would no longer have intercourse. They remained happily (well, as happily as any other couple I've known) for 48 more years. They satisfied their desire for more children by adopting.

You have to examine what your relationship fundamentally is. Is it mostly physical, and your affection for him stems from his physical effect on you? Then you need to approach things from that angle. But if your love for him is soul-deep and you know it is forever, then think about it as if it were a marriage. And the traditional wedding vows do say something about "in sickness and in health," don't they?

>>edited because my keyboard doesn't think plurals should end in "s"<<

< Message edited by SubbieOnWheels -- 2/22/2008 7:00:39 AM >

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Bethical
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(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 24

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 7:01:11 AM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
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quote:

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay?

Yes, I would stay. I would hope that if the situation was reversed, he would stay too.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 25

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 7:35:04 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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for me thea answer is in your own sig line...

quote:

True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Henry Miller

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This is him

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(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 26

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:00:01 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

It would depend on the type of relationship we had together. Meaning not all D/s, M/s relationships have sexual relations involved in them. I personally would stay because of the love and connection we have with each other.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 27

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:22:32 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

This life is well more than sex, someday we will all be old and sex nonexistent---My concern would be more, He offered one to leave, but what did He do to offer them to stay?

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 28

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 9:06:41 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

I can pretty much agree with what everything has been written for the most part but this is such a loaded type question.

I could see myself easily be with my Master if tomorrow medically he could no longer penetrated me but continued to be affectionate and concerned about my sexual satisfaction. At the same time I would not stay with him if that would mean no longer being sexually affectionate with me and uncaring about this area and how it affects me.

I know this because it happen to me. My previous relationship the last two years the amount of times sex or any affection happen I would need less then one hand to count. Love for my Master could only go so far. Now this could be a chicken and egg thing and unique to our relationship but what lacked in this area started to spread to the M/s dynamic and creep into all things of our life. His stubbornness to seek medical help and lack of caring about my needs for some level of intimacy combined with my frustration and growing despair was the main catalyst in the relationship falling apart.

I think in theory this is an easy question to answer but my reality has shown that you just cannot strip sex away and think it might not affect other aspects of your relationship. I think with any person who is affectionate and/or has a sex drive that if it was stripped away would be a very significant change. So to me it would come down to how much effort the person with the medical problem commits to the other. If they are not willing to adjust or put in effort and just expect the other to deal then I see a major problem. If they are willing to adjust, change and put effort in I could easily see where a loving relationship could be easily maintained.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 29

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 9:14:15 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

There are other ways to achieve pleasure and intimacy beyond penetrative sex. i would stay, and find other ways to give Him pleasure. i crave sex, and would miss it, but if the love and devotion were strong, i believe anything can be overcome.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 30

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 9:24:25 AM

MsBearlee

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Joined: 2/15/2006
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If, by this question, the OP meant no physical intimacy at all, ever…I’d leave. Like so many have pointed out already, there is so much more to life than penetration (regardless of whose dick we use!), but I’m not going to live with someone who is incapable of warm intimate cuddling and even hot monkey-sex…regardless of how we achieve it.

MsB

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

Post #: 31

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 9:27:47 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

If your questioning if to stay or not to stay just due to "sex" there is already doubt , thats a shame .There is so many more things than just the act of sex or intercourse . Lack of all sexual contact yeah that would be tough , lack of the act of intercourse come on use the imagination a bit .YOUR kinky Think people think

I am almost positive many other acts of pleasurable sexual things can come to mind . Use your biggest sex organ YOUR BRAIN

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 32

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 10:00:52 AM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

ONE WORD:

HITACHI!!!

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 33

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 10:45:22 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

Skully > the other fun word though more pricey .
Sybian

(in reply to Skully7000)

Post #: 34

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 11:17:32 AM

APhacetoSit

Posts: 87
Joined: 11/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

Just a humble suggestion...Look at yourself in the mirror, and say the following words.
"i will love You until the end of time....i will miss You, but i will love You."
Look at Yourself in the mirror right after having said this. if you don't cringe, or burst out in hysterical laughter or shy away, then leave. otherwise, try to figure out a way to make it work for Y/you both.
Good luck and best wishes for all involved.

_____________________________

How do the Angels get to sleep when the devil leaves the porchlight on?
All skill is in vain when an Angel pees in the touchhole of your musket.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 35

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 11:31:11 AM

Smoothicen

Posts: 17
Joined: 2/16/2008
Status: offline

This is a personal choice Kalista and it depends on the individual and the relationship.

How much does sex mean to your relationship and how much value do you place on the relationship without it?

You and your dom may also ask yourselves if you're willing to obtain sex outside of your relationship and if so, is it a choice that you're both willing to live with?

Answering these questions may help.

Best of luck.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 36

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 12:04:55 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

Skully > the other fun word though more pricey .
Sybian

my friends and I had a little late night Sybian ride at AVN in vegas last month... we found out the next day we had burnt the motor out.

I do love a sybian.

(in reply to azropedntied)

Post #: 37

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 12:07:54 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Okay, say he gets diabetis and becomes impotent. That doesn't mean I can't have sex with him, it just means I can't have penis in vagina sex. He still has hands, mouth, toys to use.

Now if he chose, because he couldn't orgasm, to refuse me anymore orgasms, then no I wouldn't stay. More because of his selfishness than anything else. If I'm doing everything I can to make him happy, then it shouldn't be such a big deal to lend me a hand for 20 minutes.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Madame4a)

Post #: 38

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 12:26:10 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?

Another one of those reallllllllly loaded questions.

I was married to a woman who rarely engaged in sexual relations with me for the last 4-5 years we were together. First, it was anxiety...then it was not getting enough sleep...then it was unresolved anger issues. All of these called for medication and counseling. Sadly, she sought out the first but never the second after one or two sessions each time...seems she did not like what the counselors had to tell her. Last I knew, she was being treated for depression AND anxiety. Does the above mean that I don't believe that there are medical conditions that create a lack of sexual interest or an inability to engage in sex any longer? No...I know there are. But I would be one of those who would definitely seek a second opinion and, because of my past circumstances, I would want to be there to hear exactly what is said.

Would I stay? Given what I went through, I doubt it. But then, I do my best to find out before things get going too deep what sort of sexual partner I am considering getting involved with. Things happen...that is the course of life. But to get involved with someone that within a year let's say, began to experience sexual difficulties...that is a tough call. If there could be engagement in other forms of sexual play, then yes. But no sex? Sorry...been there, done that, have the wasted years to show for it. Don't want to go there again. If that makes me shallow, then shallow I am.

You don't say whether the medical condition is yours or his. If it is his and he has offered you a choice to leave, that is a choice only you can make. I've given my reasons for staying/leaving above. If it is yours and he is offering you the choice to leave...then I have to say that he is giving himself a bit of an easy out by laying a decision that should be his...or a joint one...on you alone.

(in reply to Kalista07)

Post #: 39

RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 12:50:06 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

LOL skully , looks like you and your plas may have to get the twin turbo nitro hemi version

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 40

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