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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 1:16:54 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?


Having the ability to participate in penetrative sex is not the same as affection, cuddling, kissing and giving your partner orgasms through other various ways.  I could live without penetrative sex.  Without the others, I would be left an empty shell.  Without the ability to have intercourse, intimacy may be a bit more difficult to find together at times, but like any challenge, when met head-on with communication from both partners, it can be overcome. 

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:17:41 PM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		 
I would absolutely stay without a second thought.  Our relationship is based upon much more than sex, although sex is definitely involved.  There are times when we just cuddle and talk....those times can and are just as fulfilling as a strong orgasm (my perspective).

Also, as many others mentioned, if you use your imagination and other objects, He can still satisfy you.

If my Dom felt less than Dom or Man because we're unable to have penis to vagina sex, I would go above and beyond to be there for Him.  There are times when He's tired and my hormones are "raging" (I'm getting to that age, methinks) and I will give Him sensual massage which may release the same amount of "whatever it is men release orgasmically" in His mind.  By serving Him, this has caused me a great amount of satisfaction and I don't feel at all neglected. 

If He chose to release me because I lose the ability to satisfy Him by something beyond my control, that is certainly His right, but it would also make me question His commitment to our relationship.

(in reply to Bound2One)
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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:37:58 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

ONE WORD:

HITACHI!!!



2 words
The Cone

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 4:52:42 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?


It depends - on whether there would be a slow erosion of the relationship or just a burp we worked through.  I'm 30 years old and want to have spawn someday.  The average woman lives until her mid-70s and I'm not going over 40 years without sex!!

So for me it would depend a lot on the specifics.  Are we talking about a deli meat slicer incident where he didn't have a penis anymore?  An absolute (100%) loss of libido (but no meat slicer incident)?  Erection issues that make it intermittent?  Some sort of temporary medical problem that could be solved over a few years?

As they say, the devils in the details.

C~


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(in reply to Kalista07)
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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:00:31 PM   
Rayne58


Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?


Having the ability to participate in penetrative sex is not the same as affection, cuddling, kissing and giving your partner orgasms through other various ways.  I could live without penetrative sex.  Without the others, I would be left an empty shell.  Without the ability to have intercourse, intimacy may be a bit more difficult to find together at times, but like any challenge, when met head-on with communication from both partners, it can be overcome. 


That's it for me too.  We rarely have penis-in-vagina sex because Sir has ED due to diabetes.  He is able to cum with blowjobs however.  I have to say that I've never been more sexually fulfilled than I am with Him.  He can find my G spot in a second with His fingers  

We are also very physically affectionate with lots of kisses, cuddles and touches.  If that part of the relationship were to end, I would be devastated.  I love the emotional intimacy that we have.  I lived without that in my first marriage, and life was very grey and depressing.  I can live without sex, but not without intimacy

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 6:49:43 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07
If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay?

Yes.
What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?
Yes.

"Sex" is only one delicious part of what we share.  Without it, He would still be Master and I would still love Him as much as ever.  Not an issue at all nor can I ever see it being.................luci

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(in reply to Kalista07)
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RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 7:38:30 PM   
adoracat


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quote:

ORIGINAL: azropedntied

Skully > the other fun word though  more pricey .
Sybian



that is some SCARY ass shit!!!!

kitten, hiding

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 7:58:17 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		Although in my mind, sex is a big part of a relationship, there's more to it than just sex.   I've had sex that left me feeling more hollow and alone than I've had with intimacy, holding, loving, talking, laughing, etc.   If the relationship is strong and there's no way that I could see myself living without Him but I could see living without the sex then I would stay.    There is a  lot of ways to give and receive pleasure.   When you want to do that for Him and He wants it, it's actually quite easy to do.     

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:15:22 PM   
bleusparkles


Posts: 168
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline 		I noticed several somewhat judgemental replies to this question and LOTS of people who claim they'd stay without even considering it. I personally find this hard to believe. How many of us have said we could never go back to being vanilla after experiencing BDSM and kink? Now, flip it ... Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex? Get off your high horses and chill ...

Now ... Would I stay? Wow ... I do not know. I think I'd try to stay. I would like to think that I'm loving enough that it wouldn't matter ... That I'm just that good of a person. Deep down, I don't really know. I like sex. I love it when its rough, hardcore and yes I like having a penis inside me. That was something that came between me and my ex girlfriend. She didn't like sex to begin with and was even less willing to entertain the idea of strap-ons or perhaps even being poly. The lack of intimacy is not why we broke up but it played a part in it.


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(in reply to kallisto)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:16:10 PM   
whiteslavebitch


Posts: 479
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		As much as I enjoy sex, if due to a medical condition it could never happen again with the two of us, I would not give up on the relationship.

I am in the happiest relationship of my life, I wouldn't end it
for something like that.

_____________________________

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formally collared 1/30/09

"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:27:02 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalista07

If You found out that due to some medical issue You would never again have sex with Your Dom/Master would You stay? What if He offered to allow You to leave the relationship, would You stay?


Depends. While others have pointed out that there are many other ways of achieving orgasm, most simply don't work for me. It's certainly not for a lack of trying, I've got the lovely collection of vibes, insertables and the "How To Wank" DVDs. It just doesn't work if I don't have a partner. I've accomplished solo orgasm a handful of times and it simply wasn't worth the effort.

Me being sexually fulfilled overall is something he agreed to at the start of our relationship. I don't see that ever changing. If we were able to work something out between us that left me sexually fulfilled, so much the better. If not, and he was unwilling to let me seek my pleasure elsewhere - provided I was smart about it - we'd have serious problems.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

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(in reply to Kalista07)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:33:36 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

I noticed several somewhat judgemental replies to this question and LOTS of people who claim they'd stay without even considering it. I personally find this hard to believe. How many of us have said we could never go back to being vanilla after experiencing BDSM and kink? Now, flip it ... Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex? Get off your high horses and chill ...


My relationship is decades old and we fully intend to grow old together.  That one or the other of us will become unable to have sex or suffer a loss of libido is less an "if" than a "when," as is becoming very ill, crippled, etc.  If push comes to shove sex-wise, there is always masturbation.  I would not give up my life-partner over what is to me a comparably very small a thing.  That's not being on a high horse.  That's just having different priorities than you have.

(in reply to bleusparkles)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:35:26 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

I noticed several somewhat judgemental replies to this question and LOTS of people who claim they'd stay without even considering it. I personally find this hard to believe. How many of us have said we could never go back to being vanilla after experiencing BDSM and kink? Now, flip it ... Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex? Get off your high horses and chill ...




I think many have stated well that there is more to sex than penetration. I think you seem to be the judgemental one. How do you know what others feel? Sex for some has nothing to do with just fucking. There are other ways to achieve sexual pleasure and intimacy. Just because some don't think like you doesn't make it not true.



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(in reply to bleusparkles)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:37:35 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles
I noticed several somewhat judgemental replies to this question and LOTS of people who claim they'd stay without even considering it. I personally find this hard to believe. How many of us have said we could never go back to being vanilla after experiencing BDSM and kink? Now, flip it ... Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex? Get off your high horses and chill ...

I can only speak for myself but, as one of the "LOTS of people who claim they'd stay without even considering it", allow me to elaborate.  You may still find it "hard to believe" and that's your right, but that's how it is.  I'm not on any "high horse," I just know my own feelings and how things work in our relationship.  Sex, per se, as defined by most people, doesn't make up the biggest part of our relationship.  There's lots of service and submission and intimacy and pleasure but not a whole lot of dictionary definition "sexual intercourse."  Why?  Because it's not the favorite activity of either of us and never has been.  Simple as that.  It's not the end all, be all for everyone and certainly not for the both of us.  Therefore, if it totally ceased today, so what?  It wouldn't change jack shit between the two of us.  Simple as that.  No need to "chill" and no "high horse," just the way it is.

If sexual intercourse is something you personally can't live without, that's great.  Just don't assume others are being untruthful or on some "high horse" when they explain that not having any of it wouldn't mean the demise of their relationship.  People are all different, you know?...................luci

Edited for spelling and to say that SweetNurse already beat me to it.....

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 2/22/2008 8:39:35 PM >

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to bleusparkles)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:43:55 PM   
Aynne


Posts: 740
Joined: 1/25/2008
Status: offline 		I agree, I had a sexless marriage for years due to marrying an insane workaholic which was his mistress, hence a divorce ensued. I do not think that sex is just a bonus or a plus, for me, it is a bond of love and intimacy and very important in the dynamic with my partner.  I am seeking the right one now, and I have been alone for some time now, and it sucks. Not as bad as a bad relationship though, or a sexless one.  Since poly is not for me, I would ask to leave, and try to leave kindly and with respect.



quote]ORIGINAL: BeyondIndigo

Well, I'm going to have to disagree with what has been said so far.
 
I have certain needs. Among these is a very strong (and frequent) desire for penetrative sex. So, if this were to happen, the guy would have to consider letting me go elsewhere for these needs. I couldn't be in a relationship with no chance of sex, ever. For me that just wouldn't work.
 
I'm aware that might sound shallow to some, but I am being honest.
[/quote]

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I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

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*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to BeyondIndigo)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 8:46:14 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

ONE WORD:

HITACHI!!!



2 words
The Cone



i've seen that everywhere....is it effective?

_____________________________

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He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 9:50:38 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

I noticed several somewhat judgemental replies to this question and LOTS of people who claim they'd stay without even considering it. I personally find this hard to believe. How many of us have said we could never go back to being vanilla after experiencing BDSM and kink? Now, flip it ... Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex? Get off your high horses and chill ...



But the air is so much cleaner up here...

I am owned by my Master, not his penis.  And I will be owned by him and used by him as he sees fit for as long as he wishes.  High horse?  No, it's simply how I define being owned.

I lived endless years in a sexless marriage.  I left the marriage, not because of lack of sex, but because of lack of love, compassion, respect and care. 

(in reply to bleusparkles)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: would You stay? - 2/22/2008 10:20:08 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles
Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex?

[shrug] I did it. Not because of medical reasons, but I was celibate for 25 years. Didn't kill me. And if I'd had a loving, caring man who would give me other sensual experiences, so much the better.

_____________________________

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Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
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(in reply to bleusparkles)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: would You stay? - 2/23/2008 6:47:38 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

Now, flip it ... Can you really go back to being damn near virginal after having experienced sex? Get off your high horses and chill ...



For me the answer is yes..For Master, well there are other entrances and he can always take another slave, it would not change our relationship at all. For me it has never been about the sex, in any SM relationship, it has been about the Dance of Pain and Desire. Sex is nice, don't get me wrong but it is not what I tend too orgasm from.  4 minutes with a vibrator and I am doney, 4 hours with whip and sharps and fire and ice and I am in HEAVEN. That last stays with me a lot longer than swaeting and grunting does. With Master however there is a great deal of emotional investment on both sides, not just the pain play, not the sex. Neither of us is happy away from the other for long periods of time and when we are home there is a lot of touching, cuddling, talking, debate and sometimes just being together quietly. I hate the term "completes me" because without a partner you are still a complete person (or should be), so I will say 'we Complement" each other, for together we make something new and different, than apart.

poenkitten

(in reply to bleusparkles)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: would You stay? - 2/23/2008 7:29:33 AM   
bleusparkles


Posts: 168
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline 		To no one in particular ...

Some people are way too defensive ... :)

_____________________________

bleu's a bit whimsical in the brainpan ...

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 60
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