RE: Credibility

RE: Credibility (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:16:34 AM)
I tend to dismiss people who don't have partners. Notice the word "tend" meaning while I often do it, I don't always do it. I have been single on CM longer than I have been with BSB ( I used to post under CrappyDom for those who don't know) Those who expouse "uber domishness" and are single (funny how often that goes together) get dismissed as idiots even when they have partners. I think it is certainly a useful piece of information if a person is single but I also tend to look at their partners if they are not, are the partners interesting intelligent people or are they lapdogs? I guess I tend to listen to anyone who presents information in an intelligent and thoughtful way. When they challenge my beliefs or preconceived notions, I tend to look at their "life" to see if they seem to live what they preach and to see how that is working for them. MercandBeth, Knight of Mists, Bitatrouble are all people who are very different than I, but they are also happy and content people who could clearly go and do anything and so are in their relationships by choice, not trapped by circumstances. I shut up and listen when they speak, I may not agree, I may not like what they say but I know it comes from a place I envy or at least seek, a happy content relationship that nourishes all the participants.

toservez -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:19:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx Absolutely. I'd trust someone who takes their time, and waits for the right one over those who jump into whatever just to say they have someone. ~Christina I agree with this completely. A person who knew themselves and what they wanted and could communicate that was always preferred over someone with a whatever and/or been there done that attitude regardless of experience. Experience to me means nothing by itself. What was credible to me are the person’s beliefs, motivation and passion for the power exchange aspects that would make us compatible. So someone dispassionate like the life was going through the motions and/or could only communicate sub does this and Master does that was not all that credible to me even if they had experience but a person who could write why they want this and why they enjoy this type thoughts were credible to me for as much as you can be credible before going to actual one on one real time relationship. My Master had only top/bottom type experience and never done an M/s one but his words in describing his beliefs, values and vision of what he wanted were so consistent and passionate that he just came off very credible to me. Lin

azropedntied -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:21:27 AM)
I think it also depends on the context of why are we looking at validation for someone credibility .Sure i would not want to get sex advice from a virgin , or fire prevention from the dog catcher .but come on ladies , ya know you all would listen to hottie fireman fred speaking safety - if he had a partner or not [:D]

Justme696 -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:22:17 AM)
credibility always make me think of street credibility...of gangster rappers... nice... but it is often just a mask

Dnomyar -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:27:33 AM)
What does street credibility have to do with Ganster Rappers???? You lost me.

Justme696 -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:30:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Dnomyar What does street credibility have to do with Ganster Rappers???? You lost me. well If i lost you..doesn't mean it is not correct what I say... ;) I find credibility a shit thing....it is just judgement and has to much vallue...like rappers who want to look though...but are nothing..just a mask. see it as thinking uploud. you like to make fun a lott..does that make you less credible for instance? To me not...because it has content...but others might find you not credible in beeing a Dom. Does it mean you have to change? To look better because of what others think about you? NEah...You don't change yourself..to look credibel.

toservez -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:43:27 AM)
I think you get into a definition battle of credibility. I pretty much agree people who boast something to get or expect credibility is pretty much garbage. But for someone to find another credible in a specific or general sense is totally up to the individual. Just like trust, you can do a billion things to try to prove you are trust worthy but in the end it only matters if the other person trusts you. You cannot force a value you think you have on another. They give it to you and not something you can hand out to them.

Justme696 -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:47:40 AM)
quote: I think you get into a definition battle of credibility. lets call it discussion...

SassySarijane -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:50:18 AM)
~Fast Reply~ I don't believe credibility should be based on whether or not someone is in a relationship, nor do I base my judgement of someone's credibility on that. A person's words and actions decide their credibility for me. I know people both in and out of relationships who have a lot of credibility, who I greatly respect; and it's because of the individual person not their relationship or lack thereof.

BlackPhx -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 9:51:30 AM)
I listen to the individual and make a decision on what they are saying or espousing from that, not from whether they have a partner or not. for that matter how do we know anyone on here has a partner, save by their placing it in their signature, referring to it in a post, showing it on a picture or putting it in their profile. Unless we have met them face to face it could be nothing more than "blowing smoke", an old picture, a fantasy D/s relationship, etc. Many of us know at least 1 other person on CM in person and the rest of us pretty much accept that people are as they present themselves, until it is time to meet them face to face. As for credibility it's pretty much the same in reality as in forums and emails. Credibility is based on subjective criteria of which a part of it is going to be consistency and the way they present things. poenkitten (who is currently getting estimates for low E/High Impact windows and questions the credibility of 1 of the sales persons especially after checking out the windows online)

TreasureKY -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 10:32:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive? I'm going to go a little against the tide... I do factor it into credibility if it's relevant to the topic at hand. Advice for a successful long-term relationship from someone who has a history of short-term broken relationships behind them, probably won't get the same amount of credence given as someone who is currently in a relationship that has lasted for a few years.

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 10:39:43 AM)
Sure...many people are not currently in relationships, but that doesn't mean they are not knowing, enthusiastic or responsive.

TheAwfulTruth -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 10:58:03 AM)
Im just wondering what you mean by "credible"? in a lifestyle sense, in a well rounded decent human being type sense, or some other form of credibility (credible amount of bling on the pinky perhaps, I got what you meant Justme). cred·i·ble [image]http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/premium.gif[/image] [image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image][image]http://cache.lexico.com/g/d/speaker.gif[/image] /ˈkrɛd[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]ə[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]bəl/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kred-uh-buh[image]http://cache.lexico.com/dictionary/graphics/luna/thinsp.png[/image]l] 1.capable of being believed; believable: a credible statement. 2.worthy of belief or confidence; trustworthy: a credible witness. The most bizarre thing to me about that question is that EVERY single person on this site, admirable or not, was single at one point. Does that mean everyone here has credibility issues? Surely credible comes down to whether or not someone is what they say they are in whatever sense you define it.

SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 10:58:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY I'm going to go a little against the tide... I do factor it into credibility if it's relevant to the topic at hand. Advice for a successful long-term relationship from someone who has a history of short-term broken relationships behind them, probably won't get the same amount of credence given as someone who is currently in a relationship that has lasted for a few years. I don't think you're so much against the tide. Credibility is earned in every subject. Just as someone with a series of short-term or part-time relationships is not necessarily qualified to speak to the subject of successful long-term relationships, so is someone in their first relationship not necessarily qualified to speak to handling a break-up. I say necesarily because some people are just naturally wise. (Not including myself in that description - sometimes I think I'm just naturally clueless.)

MzMia -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 11:08:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TreasureKY quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive? I'm going to go a little against the tide... I do factor it into credibility if it's relevant to the topic at hand. Advice for a successful long-term relationship from someone who has a history of short-term broken relationships behind them, probably won't get the same amount of credence given as someone who is currently in a relationship that has lasted for a few years. [sm=applause.gif] Great answer TreasureKY. I don't look at whether the person is single or not, most of us can pick up partners quite easily. [;)] There are many reasons why someone is single, especially if they are picky. {like me} [:D] What I always look at is, "How is their life working for them?" When someone has been able to maintain a "fullfilling" LONG TERM BDSM relationship DAMN right I will at least listen to them. Long term, to me is at least over 2-3 years/REAL TIME. ESPECIALLY if they live together. Not so easy to keep it together, when you live together and merge lives/families/under the same roof, for YEARS. Many people spend their entire lives jumping in and out of relationships. They are never alone, never single, even though their relationships have a shelf life similar to a bag of chips. Many people are in unhappy, or in unfullfilling relationships, why would I listen to them? What pearls of wisdom will I gleam from the person who jumps into relationships with anyone that speaks to them, and has a new partner every 3/4 months? What great pearls of wisdom will I get from someone who has never had a BDSM relationship last over a year? That is like asking a poor person, what is the key to being rich. Common sense ain't that common. If you have not been able to maintain a long term, live in BDSM relationship for years, you have no edge on me, even if I remain single for the rest of my life. Serial relationships, just don't impress me. As mentioned by Michael, I really admire KOM/and his ladies, and Bita, and all the others that have been in happy, LONGTERM, LIVE-IN, BDSM relationships for YEARS. Peace Out

LadyPact -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 12:26:20 PM)
My answer really depends on the situation of the individual. I don't necessarily base My thoughts of credibility to whether or not someone is currently single. What I will look at is if that person has always been single. (By single, I'm meaning that to say no long term relationships.) Even though a person isn't connected to another at the particular time, they may have prior life experiences, long term partners, etc., which make a difference to Me. If they've had the actual experiences, I'm more apt to listen when they speak. On the other hand, if it's a person who's never really walked down certain paths, I take what they say with a grain of salt until they've walked in those shoes. Very much the same as people who have never had UM's of their own (or raised someone else's) who want to give partenting advice. Edited for a typo.

softness -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 12:48:50 PM)
I haven't read all the replies ... so apologies is this is repeating I find people credible from what they say .. not their relationship status. If someone has never had a partner REAL TIME never lived and sweated RT in the dynamic, then I often find little use in what they have to tell me. This makes them seem less credible as either useful sources of information, or credible as a potential partner. I do not doubt their seriousness or how "real" they are in general. Credibility is very very subjective .. what makes you credible to one .. does not to another ... am sure many dismiss what I say as soon as they read my age - because I am young what I say is not credible, other don't see it as an issue. When I was new to the baords I seriously considered lying about my age on my profile so that people might take my posts mroe seriously. Now, generally, the people who give me feedback on what I write see that my age is not a factor. I accept fully that my terrible spelling is a major factor in my credibility .. lol

ELUSIVE1 -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 2:08:36 PM)
I never measured credibility by one's relationship status--or the number of posts on here...some people seem to live on here...I have real life very credible sources if I seek advice...there are some on here that I would trust their judgement over others though

Paulsgirl -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 3:51:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SailingBum quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive? I/m tring to figure out what this has to do with the price of tea in china. BadOne The price of tea in China fluctuates according to demand and supply....thus it is with D's and s's.......sometimes you got one, sometimes you got none and sometimes you wait for ages and then (when the door bell rings) two of the bastards turn up at once.......or is that tangenital if you excuse the expression......?

Paulsgirl -> RE: Credibility (2/22/2008 3:55:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact My answer really depends on the situation of the individual. I don't necessarily base My thoughts of credibility to whether or not someone is currently single. What I will look at is if that person has always been single. (By single, I'm meaning that to say no long term relationships.) Even though a person isn't connected to another at the particular time, they may have prior life experiences, long term partners, etc., which make a difference to Me. If they've had the actual experiences, I'm more apt to listen when they speak. On the other hand, if it's a person who's never really walked down certain paths, I take what they say with a grain of salt until they've walked in those shoes. Very much the same as people who have never had UM's of their own (or raised someone else's) who want to give partenting advice. Edited for a typo. and yet we let teachers teach our UM's who are both relatively young, have no kids of their own and little teaching experience...just a thought in passing.....

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