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Padriag -> RE: Credibility (2/23/2008 6:44:08 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHathor
I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive?
No, I don't think I do. Generally, when I first meet someone I tend to take them at face value, but don't assign any particular credibility to them. That credibility comes later when I see that their actions match their claims.
For example, I meet someone online claiming to be an attractive female slave. I'll accept that at face value for the moment and react to them accordingly. However, I'm also watching to see if her behavior, her actions, and other factors match her claim. Does she behave like I expect a slave to behave? Does her actions match what I expect of a slave? Does she have a web cam or additional photos of herself (and do those photos look like something taken at home or a bunch of professional pics)? Is she willing to meet for coffee? And so forth.
If I meet someone in person who claims to be a dominant man, again, I accept that claim at face value... but I'm also watching. Is his behavior that of what I expect of a dominant male? Does his actions match what I expect of a dominant male? When his wife/submissive/SO shows up, is he still dominant or does he defer to her? Does he seem to have control over himself, over his own life? And so forth.
There's a flaw with my system... expectations. I judge others based on my own expectations, which in turn are based on my own life experiences. That's pretty much true for all of us. The flaw occurs because what that female slave considers appropriate behavior for a slave may not be what I expect because we don't share a common definition. Same problem for that dominant, he might have different beliefs about dominants and their behavior than I do. But then again that tends to work out in a way... if that slave had different expectations about being a slave than I do, then we probably wouldn't get along... same thing with said dominant. We tend to be drawn to friends, partners and people who are like ourselves and tend to view those who are different as "others". We give credibility and respect to those who most match what we expect. Respect and expect are two closely related words.
So... I give credibility to those who best match up to my expectations... its a flawed system, but then what system isn't?
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