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RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:26:00 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thickerdenwater
sometimes they come easy, and abruptly disappear (in which case I have no idea what happens)

That is a problem. If they vanished and you knew why -- "I came on too strong," "I wasn't strong enough," etc. -- you could correct what you were doing and have a better shot the next time. Keep track and see if you can identify a pattern. People often say, "It's the internet. People go poof. Life goes on." On the one hand, that is true. On the other hand, I consider that a BS comment, because people do things for a reason, and if I am going to invest my time in someone, I want to maximize my chances of getting a positive result out of our interactions. So it is important to know WHY things happened.

Can you think of something common that happens while you are talking to these subs you end up not meeting?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to thickerdenwater)

Post #: 21

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:27:28 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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~Fast Reply~

I'd be turned off by the "discarded" thing, probably because you don't specify further what it takes to be discarded. I don't know what kind of woman you are looking to attract but if I were looking I'd like to know if family is important to them and a couple of hobbies. You seem to be on the right track though!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 22

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:42:26 PM

thickerdenwater

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/28/2007
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bahhhhh, I love being perved yes, but I really like the reality checks an outside point of view gives you. My words may be articulated well, but sometimes I come off to strongly offensive, like with the "disgarded" line that I need to re-write. One of my friends described me as a pit bull pulling at his chain and barking a lot, but when you give him a chance hes just another big puppy looking for new friends. Guess I need to let some slack loose in my chain

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 23

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:43:25 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

you'll do well here, thicker :)

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to thickerdenwater)

Post #: 24

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:45:18 PM

thickerdenwater

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/28/2007
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life, like many things, is a continuing lesson that if taken lightly and with patience will teach you many things.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 25

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:50:35 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

you'll do well here, thicker :)

I'll second that. Now to crawl off to bed... Greedy, want to join?

PS. Good luck with the rewrites Thicker.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 26

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:54:52 PM

thickerdenwater

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/28/2007
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thanks again to all who helped. Its much appreciated, and recieved as usual.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 27

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 10:55:55 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

you'll do well here, thicker :)

I'll second that. Now to crawl off to bed... Greedy, want to join?

PS. Good luck with the rewrites Thicker.

tease *grope*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 28

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 11:47:18 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Its funny how SB said that He doesn't state nothing.. i have noticed its more about how one looks and how one appeals to another more then the words they write and of what they are looking for..

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Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 29

RE: Need some critique - 2/25/2008 11:49:00 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

depends on who's doing the looking, IMO.

When I check a profile for a potential, their profile will determine if I initiate contact.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 30

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 1:14:11 AM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thickerdenwater

hmm well being deep is definately easy for me. I think I should write more in my journal on here. If I can figure it out, Ill add some depth to the profile itself. But I think Im gong to need to sit back and reflect on that before I post it up.

as for getting or holding on to a sub, its a bit of a problem with both. sometimes they come easy, and abruptly disappear (in which case I have no idea what happens) or they just overlook.

The profile looks good overall. Nice set of pics. You may want to mention what you're doing with your life - what kind of work, school, etc. You mention what you do during your time off, and that makes inquiring minds want to know what he does when he's working.

I think the idea of a journal is great. You can show your personality, give more details on what you do on a day-to-day basis, things you like to do, expound on the type of girl you are looking for as new things come to mind.

Good luck!

(in reply to thickerdenwater)

Post #: 31

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 2:19:39 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thickerdenwater

Just wanted some feed back on my profile. good, bad, and ugly. Thanks for the help.

You should write a profile as you wish it to be.
Not what others want to see.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to thickerdenwater)

Post #: 32

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 7:12:12 AM

Redoubt

Posts: 185
Joined: 8/11/2007
Status: offline

On the whole, I like it... two little bitty points, and I'm nitpicking here, so take whatever you will from it.

First, get rid of the T/they... it's the only slashy in your profile and seems unnecessary.

Second, naturally dom looking for a dominant woman, because you like a fight I can kinda understand, but it has the effect, for me at least, of saying "I just want a woman, sub, switch or domme... don't care". I may be alone in this viewpoint, but unless you want to be regarded as a switch (with more dominant tendencies), I'd stick with sub/switch females only. It just puts out mixed signals, at least in my opinion.

This doesn't mean you can't perve dommes in your area, but by including them in what youre looking for, I think you'll turn more off than intrigue either. Otherwise, I like it.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 33

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 7:23:49 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

FR

And I totally forgot to mention last night that I love the back piece and am glad that you have such a good picture to display it. I hate when I can almost see a tatoo but can't quite figure out what it is.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to Redoubt)

Post #: 34

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 8:15:13 AM

thickerdenwater

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline

OmegaG: the back piece is actually all my design, except for the snake head. Its actually 6 pieces of 6 years made to be one piece. Designed it when I was 16 :D

Redoubt: Its the finer details like something thats that obscure that I was hoping would be found, thanks. Ill correct that later.

Bound2One: right now Im not doing anything, trying to get things together to go to college and looking for a job. I think Ill add what Im going to major in when I get time.

Justme696: I used to go by the same thinking, a long time ago. But I found a happy medium where I can still be me without any changes, and still have people interested on some level. Be it personal, professional, or otherwise, people need to be able to like you, not have to like you. If you give them that oppurtunity, others will fall in line, and the gossip will be nothing but praise. This even works for your stranger type people, like myself. Most people (all most exclusively all vanilla) may not agree with parts of my personality, but they respect them and even grow to like them (about me). If I took a "take me for who I am, all or nothing" approach I wouldnt have so many friends (real friends) and aquaintences. This way, Im still me, with out comprimising myself, and they still can like me for who I really am.

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 35

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 8:21:27 AM

ruthiexxxx

Posts: 78
Joined: 1/29/2008
Status: offline

yes, a good profile. clear and to the point. mind you the more information the better, sometimes a small thing can just catch the eye and intererest

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 36

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 8:23:25 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

if you are in transition (which is because you got out of the military?) that would be an interesting tidbit to share.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to thickerdenwater)

Post #: 37

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 8:24:55 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ruthiexxxx

yes, a good profile. clear and to the point. mind you the more information the better, sometimes a small thing can just catch the eye and intererest

not always, if a profile is too long, some (me) tend not to read it. I think if it like a resume-- you want enough to grab the eye of the potential and to spark an interest for on going communication, but you don't want to overwhelm them so it ends up in the recycle bin.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to ruthiexxxx)

Post #: 38

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 9:06:13 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

If I took a "take me for who I am, all or nothing" approach I wouldnt have so many friends (real friends) and aquaintences

Personally I think your real friends would stay if you say "take me for who I am". That is why they like you.
But I understand what you try to say. We agree..that one should stay loyal to oneselfs.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to thickerdenwater)

Post #: 39

RE: Need some critique - 2/26/2008 9:53:12 AM

thickerdenwater

Posts: 80
Joined: 4/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Personally I think your real friends would stay if you say "take me for who I am". That is why they like you.
But I understand what you try to say. We agree..that one should stay loyal to oneselfs.

All my friends do take me for who I am, and I take them for who they are. If you dont have a mutual respect for eachother its not really a friendship, and to me, the same goes for signifigant others. But in order to become a friend, things take time, as OmegaG said, to much information all at once can be overwhelming. It can also leave nothing to talk about, explore, or surprise people with.

(in reply to Justme696)

Post #: 40

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