Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Impossiable to reach sub space.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Impossiable to reach sub space. Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 6:28:45 PM   
CharmedAnne


Posts: 73
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline 		There is another thread going about reaching sub space, but I was with my ex once and he told me that I wasnt the type of girl that could reach subspace. Then I sat there and thought about it, and I never had reached subspace in 2 1/2 years of playing.

Are there just some people who cannot seem to reach it?

Thanks for the input!
Anne

_____________________________

Anne
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 6:38:35 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		BTW Anne your icon is really cute, my ex's had ferrets.

I don't know of any "type" of person who can't reach subspace, but many do not.  It's very common to NOT experience subspace, or to not experience it very often.

I know it often gets talked about like the second coming of the messiah or something, but it really is just one type of experience to have.  Some women orgasm when they eat chocolate, some women hardly ever orgasm at all.  Doesn't mean their lives or relationships are any better.

So don't let the ex get you down- there's nothing I know of that prevents a person from going into subspace completely, it just isn't something that everyone experiences, certainly not all the time.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CharmedAnne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 6:41:18 PM   
CharmedAnne


Posts: 73
Joined: 2/17/2008
Status: offline 		Aww thank you, I used to have a ferret that was white and completely clueless lol.

Thanks for the info, I hear so many stories about this wonderful experience and yet I can't seem to experience it. Thanks for letting me know there could be hope lol.

Anne

_____________________________

Anne

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 6:49:26 PM   
lostlilgrl


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/5/2007
Status: offline 		Anne,

i have been in the lifestlye for eight years now and i only just expereinced sub space for the first time, it took allot of work for me, even as submissive as i am with my partner the one place i never lost control of was my mind, or my emotions, and until i was with someone that i completely connected with on all levels i was unable to reach it.

lost

(in reply to CharmedAnne)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 7:20:30 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Hi, Anne.

It could just be that the ex and you didn't have the right chemistry for you to be able to achieve it.  I've been there a couple of times with my Master (we're a new relationship), though not deeply - looking forward to that possibility, though. When I was with other Doms there was no way I was going to hit subspace - the connection just wasn't there for me.  I hit what I call my 'sub headspace' by only talking with my Master on the phone.  He just puts me there.  One thing I've found the couple of times I hit subspace with him was that my mind was finally turned to 'off'.  I think a lot and find it hard to stop the thoughts, even when I'm in my proper headspace.  A stupid random thought will trickle in and it's distracting!  It was when I had the right stimulus to turn them off that I was able to float...  Just like an orgasm can be sometimes - if you're working too hard to get there, it'll never happen. 

(in reply to CharmedAnne)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 7:26:25 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe you aren't the sort of person to go into subspace.
Maybe you never went there because you didn't think you could.
Maybe your ex just said that to cover up the fact that he couldn't send you there.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's fun but it's not the be all and end all of life. And who knows, you may yet get there. I found that I both orgasmed and achieved subspace more as I learned more about what I liked and didn't like though the years.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CharmedAnne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 7:27:09 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		Charmed, there's nothing to feel bad or abnormal about. many many MANY submissives never experience subspace, and their lives are certainly no less full and satisfying because of it. i've been in the lifestyle 8 years, a slave for 7, and have never experienced anything remotely resembling subspace. in fact, it's one of life's mysteries to me because when i hear or read people describing it, i just cannot relate at ALL. and you know what? i don't care! lol. it's just not a part of my life and believe it or not, many Dominants/Masters do not care for a submissive to experience subspace, as they want nothing distracting them from service or use.

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 7:52:04 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		I've never reached 'sub space' the way people will discribe it here as some significant change. I have enjoyed adrenaline rushes, and I enjoy the endorphines released during various types of play. I don't think it's the same for everyone, people enjoy things in different ways. Maybe you have experienced your kind of 'sub-space' but it is simply different for you. I wouldn't worry about it. Pleasure is pleasure, if you're already enjoying yourself, don't worry if your enjoyment isn't the same brand as someone elses.

I don't think it has anything to do with what 'type' or person you are, what label you wear, or that someone did something wrong that didn't bring about a big head trip for you. Everyone is unique, and so are their experiences and feelings.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 8:00:14 PM   
joy2u


Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		As long as you are enjoying the experience, i wouldn't worry about subspace.  To me, subspace has never been a goal to reach for but, then again, orgasm has never been a goal for me, either.  If it happens, great.  But, even when it doesn't, i love the sensations and feelings and emotions and the entire experience.  Most of the time, i don't even realize that i was in subspace until my Master tells me so, afterwards.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

(in reply to CharmedAnne)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 8:32:10 PM   
wordstoponder


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/3/2008
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		As a young and some-what new and inexperienced submissive, I don't have much to add other than my thoughts.  What is "subspace"?  Perhaps it is different for everyone.  Maybe you haven't given in to the moment yet, or maybe you haven't found One who brings you there. 

With my ex-boyfriend, I thought I had achieved subspace when we first played.  However, I was later informed that it was probably just an adrenaline rush that made me dizzy and my body went limp because He had me bound to a tall cat-tree with my hands cuffed above my head and the slight pain of clothespins and the sting of a crop.

There are times when I access a place in myself, when the world disappears and my mind shuts off, and I'm not aware of anything at all, but it's a good feeling, a feeling of letting go.  I become very pliant.  When I'm at this place, anything could be done to me (within reason, I assume).  I cum and cum and cum and flood and gush if someone causes any sensation, by demanding me to cum, or maybe just by willing it.  I've been told that this is a gift, and perhaps it is.  Is this subspace?  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's only adrenaline again.

(in reply to Bound2One)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/26/2008 9:16:15 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wordstoponder
With my ex-boyfriend, I thought I had achieved subspace when we first played.  However, I was later informed that it was probably just an adrenaline rush that made me dizzy and my body went limp because He had me bound to a tall cat-tree with my hands cuffed above my head and the slight pain of clothespins and the sting of a crop.

That's what annoys me- external observers telling you what you experienced, as if an adrenaline rush can't be a perfectly good catalyst to subspace.  That's like saying "It couldn't have been an orgasm, I was only fucking you in the ass"

I'm not saying you did or did not go into subspace, simply that I get annoyed when people suggest there are finite ways and experiences of "subspace."
quote:


There are times when I access a place in myself, when the world disappears and my mind shuts off, and I'm not aware of anything at all, but it's a good feeling, a feeling of letting go.  I become very pliant.  When I'm at this place, anything could be done to me (within reason, I assume).  I cum and cum and cum and flood and gush if someone causes any sensation, by demanding me to cum, or maybe just by willing it.  I've been told that this is a gift, and perhaps it is.  Is this subspace?  I'm not sure.  Maybe it's only adrenaline again.

It very well could be.  That's the issue of it all- it's your experience and you get to define it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to wordstoponder)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 2/27/2008 8:48:58 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He has announced because he never bothered to focus on you sufficiently to learn what you need to go into subspace that therefore you are incapable of it? I suppose he would tell you that you were incapable of ever having an orgasm simply because he couldn't do it for you too?

Some people float from pain play. Some of us don't. Some go easily, others require very specific circumstances. And like orgasms, focusing on it as the goal probably will prevent it from happening. I float from sensory deprivation; bondage, blindfold, gag and sufficient sensation kept up to keep me in a feeling state and not a thinking one.



_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/22/2008 9:36:09 PM   
quinta


Posts: 31
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		I, too, have never reached subspace.  So many people make it sound quite magical, so i'm intrigued by it. It's definately on my list of things that I would like to eventually try in the near future.  Don't give up on it!  Sometimes good things are worth waiting for.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/22/2008 9:38:02 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		Not everyone has the physical makeup for it.

I can't space on endporphins at all. I just get slightly fuzzy-then go into full blown shock.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to quinta)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/23/2008 2:36:08 PM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		Count me as one who does not have the capacity to experience endorphin rush or adrenalin rush or other form of sub-space.  I've often wondered, there are some people who cannot be hypnotised, regardless of the skill and experience of the hypnotist.  I'm one of those people who went to a professional hypnotist to try to quit smoking and was told I cannot be hypnotised.  I've wondered if there were a connection.

The really great thing is, I met my Master who does not want me to go into subspace as it would ruin our play for Him.  Don't worry about it, it's not a goal necessary to be a good submissive or slave.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to CharmedAnne)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/23/2008 7:50:14 PM   
califsue


Posts: 593
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		I think I have hit subspace once based on my understanding of what occurs. It was after a scene that included face slapping and for me it was the loss of time that occurred as it seemed like the play lasted for only about an hour and it was more like 5 1/2 hours. I am not concerned with whether I reach sub space or not. My pleasure is being with Master, serving him and enjoying our time together since we are not 24/7 at this time and enjoying the afterglow of our time together. 

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/23/2008 8:43:48 PM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		greetings to all,

I honestly wouldn't worry about sub space.  I've been involved in power exchanges (of various types) for nearly ten years, offline and on, and I have reached what I consider "sub space" twice, once with a real life ex (who wasn't even my Dom) and once with a Master that I know online.  I've also had the experience of "flying" from a particularly intense pain session with a local Dom.

These things were lovely, but they are not something I long for or strive to achieve.  They were just part of my past experience, and have helped me to be who I am today.

well wishes,

(in reply to califsue)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/31/2008 1:06:50 PM   
subkay2neil


Posts: 11
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		Hi Anne,

i don't think there is a certain type of person that can or can't reach sub space.
i'm new to this lifestyle and within the first few sessions i had with Sir i went into sub space without realising it. i can't describe the feeling and sometimes i wish i didn't slip into it, i'd rather much "feel" i'm in the moment rather than slipping into it.
it does take time to come back from sub space & Sir has told me that He has slapped my face to bring me back.
i guess it can take people a long time to get to sub space but others can go to it easily

(in reply to XaviersXian)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 8/31/2008 8:18:35 PM   
becca4020


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		With my Dom, i do not go into subspace.  Maybe that is because i am really focused on waiting for those moments between whip-strikes when he decides to have an interval of purely sexual stimulation.

i thought for years that i could not reach subspace, but this year he has allowed me to play on occassion with two friends at the local fet club, and with them i often hit subspace.  For me it feels in some ways like a pot high except without the giggles. i lose all sense of time and the strokes of whatever become sort of distant-feeling. When released,  i can barely stand without help, let alone walk, and i need to be wrapped in a blanket so i don't start to shake.  As i come out of it, i need food.  It can last anywhere from 10 minutes to 3 hours.

The difference, i think, is that these are very long floggings and spankings that begin gently and gradually ramp up in intensity, as opposed to the light-hard-light alternation my Dom likes (he also would stop at a lesser intensity).   The slow buildup is hypnotic, as one poster suggested.

So for me, my inability to hit subspace was simply a matter of play style, and for a sub who finds this an essential experience, they may need to play with a variety of people before giving their allegiance to any Dom.

-becca

(in reply to subkay2neil)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/1/2008 1:19:27 AM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		sub-space is a wonderful wonderful thing...

but as others have said, stop trying to shoot for it. The harder you try to reach it the less likely you are to get there.

It's hard to imagine until it happens... but once it does you'll know it. Plus, knowing certain triggers help, too...

For some people it's the kind of pain that gets them there. I'm definitely in this category! A good bit of sharp pain, usually on my back, will throw me into this... well, heady, zero-g world where I have no concept of what's going on beyond knowing that I am enjoying it. I'll lose time, and even sometimes just completely forget to do anything but please the person who's put me there.

It's a matter of finding what will put you there, if you can even go there... but the harder you look, the more minuscule the chance to find it.

(in reply to becca4020)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Impossiable to reach sub space. Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141