RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain"

RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (Full Version)

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petpete -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 3:10:28 AM)
Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Supersub! Yes, it's Supersub - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Supersub - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights the never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way.

Politesub53 -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 3:15:07 AM)
Dont be silly Pete, every knows supersub is English, with the bonus of that beautiful accent. [8D]

petpete -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 3:21:14 AM)
ok polite... you look like you almost burned your lips with the coffee your drinking...smirks

MsCfromMelbourne -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 5:33:02 AM)
The bottom of the food chain? When I was seeing a handsome cardiac surgeon, one of my vanilla friends whispered "does he know about that whips'n'chains stuff you like?" My reply: "how on earth else do you think I would meet a heart surgeon? Do you know any heart surgeons?" In addition to him, my D/s partners over the last 10 years have included the CEO of a global engineering firm, an air/sea rescue paramedic, an oncologist, an economic adviser to Government, a psychiatrist, and of course my current beloved, a really successful IT lawyer ....... ..and they were all handsome (to my mind), entertaining, romantic, proud to be kinky and fun! I am not saying brains, courage and material success is everything, but "bottom of the feeding chain"? You have gotta be kidding. Being a Mistress has enabled me to meet some absolutely fantastic men in real life. My girlfriends - kinky and 'nilla - all ask the same thing: how do you get such great guys? Better looking than me, younger than me, totally faithful, devoted and courteous......there is no way I would have partners this good if I was vanilla. Perhaps the pool of men identifying as submissive is so large that us lucky Dommes have our choice of the best of the best? Hmmmmm.......I don't know if I agree with the "disparity in numbers" theory. It always seems to me when I go out, there are just as many men (good and bad) identifying themselves as Doms. But a guy that cheerfully identifies as submissive is a guy with total confidence in himself who doesn't give a rat's ss about social convention. He is comfortable in his sexuality, knows what he likes and goes for it. Men like that are usually successful and popular in most other aspects of their life. They are equal to anyone. The really great subs don't - in my experience - send unsolicited email to strangers begging for attention or talking dirty about their fetishes. Nor do they grovel. Instead, they go out of their way looking for a woman like you in real life, then launch a targetted campaign to win your heart. They are smart. Bottom feeders? Any Domme who thinks that is completely new or is definitely* not meeting submissives in the right places. And do Doms disrespect male subs? Maybe in chat rooms, but I think that is a bit of a myth when you socialise with both in real life. As others have observed for themselves.

Lashra -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 5:37:46 AM)
My male sub is a tall, handsome, fit, strong male. He is submissive to ME and me alone. If someone where to hand him the old "bottom of the food chain" line he would certainly have no problem informing them otherwise. I think people who view subs as "bottom feeders" have a lot of inner insecurity that they need to deal with. Subs aren't inferior they just have different roles of equal importance. ~Lashra

ShaktiSama -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 11:33:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster Unfortunately, Shakti, the same is true in reverse. The same what? Generally best to respond to one line or paragraph in a long-ish post. I have no idea what you're talking about.

KindLadyGrey -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 12:37:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chezzy52 Lady Hathor..i doth protest!!I was a hippie once too..and now i want my hair back...LOL....All kidding aside and to all reading this,i had to laugh about really that Dominant males were calling us "bottom feeders".I say call me what you wish but this is like an old fashioned western movie in my eyes.The Dom males are the guys dressed in black and us "bottom feeders"are the ones with the white horse and crisp clean cowboy outfits topped off with a beautiful fedora.Now we do save the day and that gives the appearance that Dominas are in need but the bottom line is we still end up with the Domina at the end of the picture.If ya'll think this is skewered you should read my thoughts on the afterlife.And to be fair...i am sure that not all Dom males are like that and even more sure that Dominas are not in need of a sub..was just trying to make a comparison. Must. Not. Fantasize. About. Submissive. Cowboys. . . Ahhhhhh!

ShaktiSama -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 1:13:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey Must. Not. Fantasize. About. Submissive. Cowboys. . . puuuuurrrrrrrrrrr Got to love a man who carries his own rope.

KindLadyGrey -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 1:43:10 PM)
Cowboy Bondage. Yummy! runs along before she derails her own thread

Kirren -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 1:50:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey I didn't want to derail an active thread, so I'm posting this as it's own separate thread. This post is a tangent to something Wickad said on pixel's thread about a lack of Dommes in Dallas: "This very attitude is also why many submissive men feel ashamed to be submissive and why many Dominant men think of submissive men as 'the bottom of the food chain'." In response to that I'm just going to relate a story about my outing last night. I took the metro into the city to attend a Black Rose class/seminar with some friends. We all had a great time with the class (which was on touch and intention, sort of new agey, but fun) and afterward there was the inevitable socializing. Four of my girlfriends and I were lightly teasing one cute subby guy together and totally fawning over the guy, and I noticed several of the men I'd pegged as Dominants looking on and obviously wishing they were getting that kind of attention. In my memory, I cannot recall ever seeing a heterosexual Dominant man fawned over by women the same way. I'm sure it happens in cases where there is just some UBERDOM in a community and all the girls love him, but I'd say that's a rarity. So maybe the Doms who say that stupid stuff are just jealous of you guys, because you get all the attention :P What say you Ladies (and boys), have you noticed the same thing? And what do you think about this ridiculous "male subs at the bottom of the food chain" bullshit? Its absolute bull shit. I love submissive boys for a whole different reason than I love subbie girls. But they are NOT bottom of the food chain. It takes much more grace to say.." I am a submissive and I am proud of that" than it does to pretend to be a Dom when you have the desire to be bound, beat and humiliated, and then want to call yourself a switch.

Kirren -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 1:51:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Politesub53 Hi Ma`am, its the perception that male submissives are not real men. Truth to tell its harder to admit to and many take the easy way out, calling themselves Dom and asking a Mistress to "Take them on" in secret. To me there is no food chain, just a lifestyle, and each and everyone has there place in whatever niche they want to fit in. Many thanks for starting the thread. Very well said...This is what I was trying to say, but couldnt quite get out.

Kirren -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 2:01:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AtlantaMistress quote: ORIGINAL: petdave quote: ORIGINAL: KindLadyGrey And what do you think about this ridiculous "male subs at the bottom of the food chain" bullshit? i've said it myself more than once shrug A couple of points: Of the various D/s orientations, who is the most likely to have to pay to play? Male subs. i know, i know, supply and demand, etc. But what message does it send? That a male sub actually has negative value to the community- not even, certainly not positive, but negative- the only way to recover the time spent playing with them is through cash. If you spend any time browsing profiles on the other side, who do you most often see specifically mentioned as being unwanted, blocked, sent to junk mail, etc., usually in all capital letters? NO MALE SUBMISSIVES!!! At least those have been my observations... if anyone has seen differently, i'd be very interested to hear it! OK - there is a BIG difference between a truly submissive man and a "do me" bottom - the kind that are out there sending their cut and paste messages, trolling, and as a Pro Domme - I will say it - paying to play. I typically won't session with them, unless they are requesting an activity I particularly enjoy - but please, let's not get off topic and start yet another Pro Domme debate...[sm=horse.gif] As for those men that are truly submissive (at least IMHO of what that means: wanting to turn over power to a woman, and finding their happiness in serving her) they are actually not easy to come by as you may think. I think that makes a good point. If the sub behaves in a manner that would be acceptable for a female sub, IE, paying attention, being willing to serve, actually making an effort, and isnt all about pussy worship, or rimming, or just out and out sex, then they have surpassed an expectation of what we have come to find here. I have seen WAY more male subes that are intrested in drinking piss, eating shit, licking My cunt, and rimming My ass than I have seen who are willing to actually BE of some kind of service... Yes, I realize that those things would be part for some people. but you dont just go into it saying..."hey I wanna get you naked" and expect a Domme to be flattered. I think that male Dom's look at submissive men, like...the kid in school that had all female friends. The guys said he was gay...but when it came out that he wasnt, they were kicking themselves for not having the forethought to come up with a "scheme" that got them to where they could see all the tits and ass that came with being the "gay" friend. Not saying male subs are gay...lol. Just making an analogy...maybe not the best put one..but close.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 3:26:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster Unfortunately, Shakti, the same is true in reverse. The same what? Generally best to respond to one line or paragraph in a long-ish post. I have no idea what you're talking about. Pretty much your entire post remains true if you reverse the genders. IE, it's not a male or female province only.

ShaktiSama -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 5:33:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster Pretty much your entire post remains true if you reverse the genders. IE, it's not a male or female province only. Err...sadly, most of my post really doesn't work if you reverse the genders, except for the bit about "quality" folks being rare. There may be very few quality people of any gender, but when women exploit men it is not as often for sex. And there is very rarely a complaint at clubs catering to BDSM or other sexual interest groups that there are too many unattached females of any orientation. Certainly I have never heard of women being charged more to enter, or refused entry--as mentioned in a previous post to this thread.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 7:38:27 PM)
[QUOTE]Food chain metaphors are always dubious. I mean, if you really want to be at the TOP of the food chain, what do you eat? Filet o' vampire? If I want to be at the top of the Domme Chain, whose ass do I spank? Dubya? The Pope? [/QUOTE] That would not work, since you know, Dubya and the Pope would be Doms, not Dommes. Wrong food chain. [QUOTE]Regardless, people say that male subs are "plentiful", but it seems to me that quality men of any orientation might be the exception rather than the rule. And I would agree with those who say that there really are not a whole lot of quality men who are "submissive". [/QUOTE] People say that female subs are "plentiful" but it seems to me that quality woman of any orientation might be the exception rather than the rule. And I would agree with those who say that there really are not a whole lot of quality women who are "submissive". [QUOTE]What I see in great abundance are men who want to use women in various ways for their sexual pleasure--dom, sub, switch or vanilla. And while getting their own needs met, these men prefer to give as little back to their partners in the way of mutual pleasure, love, support or resources as humanly possible. [/QUOTE] What I see in great abundance are women who want to use men in various ways for for their sexual pleasure -- dom, sub, switch, or vanilla. And while getting their own needs met, these women prefer to give as little back to their partners in the way of mutual pleasure, love, support, or resources as humanly possible. [QUOTE]Some of these men want to bottom in a BDSM scene, and call themselves "sub" for that reason. But I do not consider them submissive--or quality men, for that matter. [/QUOTE] Some of these women want to bottom in a BDSM scene, and call themselves "sub" for that reason. But I do not consider them submissive-- or quality women, for that matter.

Leatherist -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 7:40:51 PM)
Seems a cruel thing to say about male subs over all........ Wanders off to see if there is one called "pond scum", and ask him about it.[;)]

ShaktiSama -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 7:45:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster That would not work, since you know, Dubya and the Pope would be Doms, not Dommes. Wrong food chain. Lol. 90% of all women are heterosexual, regardless of orientation. By default the dommeliest of dommes would be the one whipping the "Leader of the Free World's" ass. Hillary Clinton. A vote for Dommeliness. [:D] [QUOTE]What I see in great abundance are women who want to use men in various ways for for their sexual pleasure -- dom, sub, switch, or vanilla. [/QUOTE] Really? Because I have not seen a huge overflow of complaints about men being sexually used by women, here or anywhere. Most of what I hear is bitching about money. [:'(] If the world is changing enough that there are lots of men these days sobbing into each other's arms over Haagen Daz saying "I feel so used!" please let me know. This would be news to me.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 8:10:22 PM)
I'm sure there are plenty of each - male and female - willing to engage in mutual use to satisfy their need to bottom or top in BDSM scenes and thrill their lives away in sensation play. Men are generally more relaxed than women it seems in this regard - we're perfectly happy to use a wench to meet our needs, but that does not mean it is not recognized for what it is or that we are deceived to the nature of the girl in question.

ShaktiSama -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 9:11:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster I'm sure there are plenty of each - male and female - willing to engage in mutual use to satisfy their need to bottom or top in BDSM scenes and thrill their lives away in sensation play. This is obviously a matter of definitions that don't match up. I would not call situations where both partners are honest with each other about what they want or intend to be "use". It isn't "using" until one partner is dishonest with the other about the nature of the relationship. And in this regard, I have found that men are many times more likely to lie and decieve to obtain sex than women are. Women lie and deceive, mind you. Just not to obtain sex. As you point out--we don't need to.

SixFootMaster -> RE: Males subs are the "bottom of the food chain" (2/28/2008 9:46:10 PM)
To clarify then: Use - to make use of, to utilise. There are legion of women who do deceive in order reach sexual fulfillment. Of course sexual fulfillment need not include intercourse - for man or woman. The flip-side is that lying and deception are usually indications of one or two things - laziness and desperation. Nor does the scenario I outlined indicate honesty between them - both could be lying for personal satisfaction, but the end result is the same. Men don't need to lie to obtain sex either, so that point is inaccurate and moot.

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