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RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 9:55:26 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

In response to your original question I suspect the reason you don't see a lot of sadorexia spoken about online is because most people either experience it in a full BDSM relationship or..don't know it as a fetish but indulge it at Weight Loss Farms, Gyms and with Personal Trainers. The only thing generally lacking there is the sexual aspect but they still get the satisfaction as well as the results..

I'm not so sure about that. I'm a kinkster as well as a gym rat, and the two don't necessarily mix for me. I have a personal trainer to spot for me, check my form and oversee my program, but there really isn't a D/s element involved, let alone a sexual one (and I'd fire him if there was). At one time I had a submissive personal trainer from inside the scene, and that was fun, but he was a total flake so I just hired a professional who would do the service without any personal elements encouraging flakiness.

I see nothing wrong with gym kink, as long as you're doing it right and not being incredibly counterproductive with your health, but for me and I suspect for most people who share the passion, it's definitely separate from sex or kink.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 41

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 10:05:47 AM

wideeyedgirl

Posts: 56
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

I have done this before.
I am overweight, 203lbs at 5'11.

So it is a pretty interesting thing. I have been with One who brought this up from the get go. He had me do low-carb, daily diet, weekly weigh ins. But like one poster mentioned..I was doing that for him. I lost maybe 26? (which if anyone has done Atkins you know isnt much in the beginning). It was definatly only for me. Not for me. I hated it. Im a carb-aholic. So i was misreable all the time, and when W/we had problems..I cheated hardcore on the diet. And when it ended - I ate a container of Ben and Jerrys and ate carbs whenever I wanted.

I have been with others tho..where it was more to get healthy. Both did it. We kinda of encouraged each other - got salads instead of fries, less junk food, remind each other about the need for a gym. That was much healthier.
Now potentials I speak with..that sometimes comes up. Because I am thicker...and I dont want a guy to...not know what He is getting into. And often the comments still get made, as long as youre healthy and dont mind hitting the gym with me..its fine. (I am healthy. I know i want to lose more. Goal is 170.) I will get there. But when its pushed I get resentful and do the opposite. Bad Subbie!

My .02.
Do it for the right reasons. and mostly..be able to be happy with what you are.

(in reply to angelslave77)

Post #: 42

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 10:08:28 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I would love to do the food and weight control thing. Only for selfish reasons though. I eat junk, I know I have a bad diet, I would like to lose some weight and I don't want to deal with any of it myself, I'l like to turn it over to another person and see if it would work. To see if I could comply without cheating.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to angelslave77)

Post #: 43

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 10:17:42 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

While Valyraen supports and helps me with losing weight in a d/s context, I don't see weight loss and food control ever being a kink for me. I don't think it would really work. I may lose the weight, I may be happy that I pleased them, but if anything ever happened to us I'll just gain the weight right back. Like quitting smoking, weight loss is ultimately something I have to do for myself, not for him.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 44

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 10:48:08 AM

SubbieOnWheels

Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline

My interest is not in a kinky way. I am serious about losing some weight and keeping a healthy diet. I just don't know what is really healthy. I have gone to seminars and read books, but I think one can do too much of that sort of thing, as nutritionits tend to contradict each other (and even themselves on occasion).

What I would like to see is for me and a D-type to sit down and figure out what sounds like a reasonable plan and then for the D-type to make me stick to it by means of helping with shopping lits, recipe, and accountability. That last is the most important, as I've no one to be accountable to right now.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 45

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 10:56:17 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

That last is the most important, as I've no one to be accountable to right now.

Sure you do. Yourself.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 46

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 11:10:19 AM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

It's very erotic certainly to anyone submissive and into being controlled as I am. I have never had it done as intensely as you describe and I like lots of other types of control too such as what I wear etc but it's certainly arousing. One issue always raised on BDSM boards about this topic is that some people have eating disorders and if you're dominating someone in a close relationship or otherwise some people might cause more problems than they solve if they don't do it right but for someone like me it works really well. I love it. mmmm As you say it makes you the best that you are too, win/win all round.

(In relation to male eating disorders - not really the topic here The Invisible Man is good - http://www.amazon.co.uk/Invisible-Man-Self-help-Disorders-Compulsive/dp/1583911502/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204312014&sr=8-1)

(in reply to angelslave77)

Post #: 47

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 11:23:45 AM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels
What I would like to see is for me and a D-type to sit down and figure out what sounds like a reasonable plan and then for the D-type to make me stick to it by means of helping with shopping lits, recipe, and accountability. That last is the most important, as I've no one to be accountable to right now.

You're welcome to use the alt_fitness list for accountability, and there are many other communities that offer the same thing. Members are encouraged to post weekly (to a mailing list like ours) or even daily (to a forum where it's not in everyone's inbox) to tell everyone how they are doing with their goals. It's not a one on one relationship, but it is accountability.

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)

Post #: 48

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 11:25:22 AM

missfrillypants

Posts: 124
Joined: 4/27/2007
Status: offline

speaking as yet another "fat chick" i'd have to say i don't agree with the others who say they'd love this.

right now i happen to be in the best shape i've been in all my life. not because i worked at it in any conscious way, i just had two whopper juniors and a chicken sandwich for lunch... i'm in good shape because i stopped obsessively watching out for my weight and happened to get a job that's labor intensive and is two miles from my house and i don't drive. i'm still overweight by society's standards, my waist measurement is 36.5 inches and there's absolutely NO way that's going to come in as anything less than a plus sized girl. and if my Sir tried to put me on a very intense diet to make me lose weight and mold me into something else, if ANY dominant did that when i've worked very hard my whole life, having at first low self esteem and chronic overeating and then a small bout with anorexia, i'd go insane within a week IF i decided to do it for the sake of the dom and the relationship i had with them. the thing is... you hear the big boned cliche a lot, and i'm sure my body fat percentage could be lower than it is, i actually do have big bones. my wrists are so thick around that i often cannot wear normal bracelets, for example. my ribcage is wide to accommodate lungs that can scream loud enough to be heard three blocks away. there is simply no way i could lose enough weight to fit into the "acceptable" weight category i am supposed to fit into and be healthy. if a dominant tried that with me, i would quickly become surly from not eating enough, and insecure because it would be like i could never become what they wanted me to be and so i'd feel like "if you wanted someone so thin and think i'm too fat, then why did you pick me anyway?"

that being said, if a sub is very out of shape and the dominant is worried for their health or if the submissive would very much like to lose weight or get into shape and can't do it, or in the case of this person who enjoys this so much... i don't see anything wrong with it so long as they dominant knows enough about biology and nutrition to do it in a way that doesn't cause something scary like vitamin deficiency or something.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 49

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 11:58:29 AM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

It won't suit everyone but there is very little I don't like having controlled. I am very submissive and if you like to feel you body is owned by a man, his property and that you are the public face of that which reflects on him then I love the eroticism of looking how he chooses, dressed as he wishes, made up as he chose and at the weight and level of fitness he requires for my own good.
(On the other hand if someone told me to put on 30 pounds I'm not sure I'd quite like that so perhaps I'm not as submissive as I think.....)

(in reply to missfrillypants)

Post #: 50

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 12:59:01 PM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

That is why I said the sexual aspect was lacking and that they may not recognize it as a fetish. A lot of "vanilla" people also go to the extremes we do, without it being BDSM. They get just as much of a rush from their activities or satisfaction, be they rock climbers, marathoners, skate boarders. I have watched some people at my local gym and what they do to themselves as they push past a wall is just as torturous as some of the stuff I do sexually. There is real pain on their faces and honestly I have never seen a marathon runner without agony on their faces as they cross the finish line even though they describe a euphoria that lets them keep going.

While there is no way that I would classify that as sexual pleasure (especially not for me) that is not to say they are not stimulating the same endorphins as pain play does.

Of course everyones mileage may vary.

poenkitten

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 51

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 1:09:46 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JockTrainee190

This looks like a very diverse and intelligent online community, so I thought I would leave a message with regard to the specific fetish I have, in case there were other like-minded doms or subs, esp. gay male. After a number of very intensive experiences with dominant trainers, initially unsought but then subsequently sought out through personal ads, I have a deep turn-on to what I discover is being called "sadorexia" within certain circles: having my food controlled, my diet restricted, my weight obsessively and demandingly monitored by a dominant top trainer. For ten years I have posted on various online boards but have yet to contact anyone with a similar interest or set of experiences. So I thought I would post here and see if there is anyone experienced or interested in same.

It's not a fetish of mine but definitely a tool and interest I very much enjoy in expressing my control of another!

It's something the sub has to think about regularly each day, a few times a day and report on. That = fun, for me!

I don't always use it or with every sub, of course, but as said it's definitely something I can and do enjoy with a sub.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to JockTrainee190)

Post #: 52

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 1:10:47 PM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

Same beta endorphins will be rushing through him as he exercises as if he were being spanked of course but I thought his first description was so clearly the sexual pleasure of control over you that any submissive lke me who loves control would recognise in an instant and I think he mentioned it was arousing anyway.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

That is why I said the sexual aspect was lacking and that they may not recognize it as a fetish. A lot of "vanilla" people also go to the extremes we do, without it being BDSM. They get just as much of a rush from their activities or satisfaction, be they rock climbers, marathoners, skate boarders. I have watched some people at my local gym and what they do to themselves as they push past a wall is just as torturous as some of the stuff I do sexually. There is real pain on their faces and honestly I have never seen a marathon runner without agony on their faces as they cross the finish line even though they describe a euphoria that lets them keep going.

While there is no way that I would classify that as sexual pleasure (especially not for me) that is not to say they are not stimulating the same endorphins as pain play does.

Of course everyones mileage may vary.

poenkitten

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 53

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 2:15:43 PM

fatass

Posts: 24
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babygurl4daddy

yes of course... daddies should always control what their babies eat ...
giggles...

AB play always comes back to some kind of other fetish nestling deep down in your soul.
For a daddy to have complete and total control of his helpless little baby... sigh

Agreed. Having that popcicle popped out of my hand screams "Daddy!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh
For me it also falls under body modification as that is precisely what I am doing by controlling a subs food and exercise. Modifying her body.

Agreed. :P

quote:

ORIGINAL: JockTrainee190

Modifying in what way and for what purpose? To meet your standards or preferences aesthetically/sexually? Or as part of overall control?

For me, It would be about over all control. To be molded to his ideal and him having control over my well being (self esteem, health etc)

quote:

I always had the sense that it was about making me the healthiest, sexiest, strongest, hottest I could be, which is why I consented to the control, the humiliation/punishment/shaming, the restriction and its burdens. It was for him but it was also for me and my own sense of well-being.

This describes me pretty well, but I get off on objectification. Being what he wants looks wise, turns me on. Being controlled turns me on.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Its the mixture of both and all and one at the same time.
Its a sign of affection that the dominant cares enough to micromanage something like every single thing the person eats.
Its a total statement of control.
It allows for visible verifiable evidence of submission and the good things that can come from it.
And it creates an atmosphere of indirect submission where the slave spends a large portion of their waking day wrapped in their submission:
every meal
every refused desert or snack
every trip to the grocery store
every purchase of water instead of soda
every new set of clothes bought to reflect weight loss
every time you go to the gym
every time you hear your stomach growl
and every time someone in your life says, "Hey you look great."

Thats got its finger on the pulse of what it is to be submissive.

I completely 110% agree with you on this!

(in reply to JockTrainee190)

Post #: 54

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 3:41:28 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

Interesting thread. I don't overwhelmingly dictate my girl's food intake; nor does she demand it. However, I have often chided her in the past in one way or another - mainly due to two factors, the illnesses she's had that suppress her desire to eat; and her body type [she is quite petite]. I have no concern over her consumption as long as it does not cause her to become unhealthy, so I suppose it can't be deemed a specfic fetish. Since we do have a D/g dynamic, I would agree it falls under how a Daddy looks after his girl.

_____________________________

<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to fatass)

Post #: 55

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 2/29/2008 10:08:56 PM

JockTrainee190

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDaddyZ

Can I get a burger now?

Now THAT's an evil top man...

(in reply to DarkDaddyZ)

Post #: 56

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 3/1/2008 7:49:34 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ClassAct2006

Same beta endorphins will be rushing through him as he exercises as if he were being spanked of course but I thought his first description was so clearly the sexual pleasure of control over you that any submissive lke me who loves control would recognise in an instant and I think he mentioned it was arousing anyway.

My reply was to Najakcharmer regarding her statement "I'm not so sure about that. I'm a kinkster as well as a gym rat, and the two don't necessarily mix for me." in response to my post, not to the OP.

poenkitten

(in reply to ClassAct2006)

Post #: 57

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 3/1/2008 3:37:16 PM

Shammon5

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/17/2007
From: Ohio
Status: offline

Food and exercise control is something that Sama and I have been working on from day 1. I am not overweight, even if I complain about a pudgy tummy every so often, but he is very health-concious and wants me to be also. Sometimes it's very hard for me to obey about food restrictions, even though I know he has my health first and formost in his mind. I haven't had coffee in 2 1/2 years and I miss Oreos and Pringles... I am also expected to exercise on a regular basis (hopefully daily, but sometimes school and life get in the way). His prefered method of exercise if jogging and crunches... We have recently switched to only all-natural and organic food, so there are many many brands that are now off limits to me. Even today, Sama suddenly told me that he is going to restrict my carb and sugar intake for a while.

These are all very difficult challenges, and sometimes I struggle with wondering if he thinks I'm ugly or fat, even when I know he doesn't. Despite everything, I love the idea that he cares enough about me to make sure that I care about me. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 58

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 3/1/2008 7:19:22 PM

JockTrainee190

Posts: 10
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for sharing this, Shammon. Though my own initial experiences were fairly extreme, as shared above, the idea of what your dom is doing more moderately--slowly restricting, monitoring your physical activity, determining for you what would be best, eliminating foods both for health and as a test of obedience--is likewise very much a turn-on for me. (Also the fact he himself is fairly lean, as was my own first trainer, is hot.) So I'm glad to hear that there are folks out there of like minds and similar, if not identical, takes on this fetish.

What of course is of more interest to me, since my initial post, is that virtually NO gay men have chimed in here (or if they have, they haven't identified as such). I'm fine with all you gals having a good old time exchanging your opinions, experiences, concerns and so forth, but, to be a bit selfish for a minute, I'm wondering if there is a separate board or site like this one specifically populated by and for gay men? I'm afraid my posting here is having the effect of really making me feel more like a freak than I did before, an ironic consequence on an alternative-sexuality board. I see plenty of gay men with profiles on the site, but they don't seem to reading this thread--or is there an appropriate way to signal that to the general readership?

(in reply to Shammon5)

Post #: 59

RE: Food and weight control, sadorexia - 3/1/2008 9:03:34 PM

Najakcharmer

Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JockTrainee190
What of course is of more interest to me, since my initial post, is that virtually NO gay men have chimed in here (or if they have, they haven't identified as such). I'm fine with all you gals having a good old time exchanging your opinions, experiences, concerns and so forth, but, to be a bit selfish for a minute, I'm wondering if there is a separate board or site like this one specifically populated by and for gay men?

Alt_fitness is specifically advertised as GLBT friendly, not just BDSM friendly, and is linked in a few places in the general gay community. More gay male participation is welcome, so if you participate in any gay online communities, feel free to flog the group and invite people to join.

I might suggest you try some specifically GLBT or gay male sports and fitness communities.

http://community.livejournal.com/gay_sports/

http://www.realjock.com/

http://www.gaysports.com/page.cfm?sectionid=7

http://www.gaycityusa.com/Fitness.htm

(in reply to JockTrainee190)

Post #: 60

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