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Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 5:16:21 AM   
Fox108


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline 		I have a relationship with aMistress who wants me to be a Dom, I am strictly Vanilla and I have tried to learn this lifestyle, but everything is moving so fast.  The misstress that I'm refering to wants me to feel comfortable with me being her number 1, and being a Dom by herside, but she wants her subies to stay in the pic because there are a couple of things that I just can't do.  She also just had one of her subies from overseas come and live  with her even though I told her that I didn't want this to happen.  And she has said if she wants to have intercourse, if she feels she will, even though I have said no. She wants me to be with her so that she can switch and she states she needs for a strong male to ground her.  I don't know how any of this helps me to come into the life style.  Being that I am new to the lifestyle and we have only known each other for less than 3 months.  But she wants to continue and try to build the relationship.  I don't see how she can mentor me if shes moving so fast.  I think I need her for mentoring becaus I really want to please her as much as possible and I would like to develop the relationship but I have reservations.  What should I do
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 5:45:45 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		...you have a Mistress and you are vanilla...
 
ok I need more coffee.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Fox108)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 5:51:55 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		He's also a cross-poster in violation of TOS.  Cut and paste from ask a master forum.   Not an auspicious beginning down the road to a reign of terror, I must confess.

Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 6:07:11 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Its actually posted in several places, in other threads

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 6:09:41 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Between the op and the cross posting, this can only end badly. My prediction......PAIN!

Mr.T

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 6:09:45 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

  I have a relationship with aMistress who wants me to be a Dom, I am strictly Vanilla
ok folks...case closed...nothing to see here...move it along....

(in reply to Fox108)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 7:11:31 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

  I have a relationship with aMistress who wants me to be a Dom, I am strictly Vanilla
ok folks...case closed...nothing to see here...move it along....


This is so contradictory that yoc cant even call him a " butterscotch Dom"  its just a confused vanilla with cuffs at best .. and a storyteller is more likely


_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 7:24:48 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Come on Ron. We can have more fun with terroist. Miss Harley please explain to me a butterscotch Dom. I like that as an ice cream topping.

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 7:28:47 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Dear Fox,

Have you met the woman of my fantasies......#11? I predict that you will..........sooner than you might like.

Good luck to you (you might need it)

LaT aka June


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Fox108)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 7:37:09 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Dear Fox,

Have you met the woman of my fantasies......#11? I predict that you will..........sooner than you might like.

Good luck to you (you might need it)

LaT aka June

i double checked Your prediction with my magic 8 ball..."signs point to Yes"

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 8:26:49 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Come on Ron. We can have more fun with terroist. Miss Harley please explain to me a butterscotch Dom. I like that as an ice cream topping.


Butterscotch Dom is someone that is no way a Dom .. but enjoys pretending he is .. and  has read all the right books .. but is not totally vanilla at least not in his fantasy world .. but could never ever really wear the Dom hat for long even online ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 8:30:46 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

[
Butterscotch Dom is someone that is no way a Dom .. but enjoys pretending he is .. and  has read all the right books .. but is not totally vanilla at least not in his fantasy world .. but could never ever really wear the Dom hat for long even online ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway



well shoot, I thought it was me, Ron, some ice cream, and a PARTY!  oh well!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 8:34:58 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Come on Ron. We can have more fun with terroist. Miss Harley please explain to me a butterscotch Dom. I like that as an ice cream topping.


Butterscotch Dom is someone that is no way a Dom .. but enjoys pretending he is .. and  has read all the right books .. but is not totally vanilla at least not in his fantasy world .. but could never ever really wear the Dom hat for long even online ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway
So basically...most "doms" i meet...NOW She tells me!!!
~caramel sub

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 9:17:41 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Fox  shudder I have met #11. Please put me in your will before you meet her.  Thank You MissHarlet.

(in reply to lronitulstahp)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 9:22:50 AM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		Any time .. I realize that as an " older" Dominant I sometimes have a language of my own lol

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 12:51:21 PM   
Fox108


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline 		First of all, I am new to this site, secondly, I made a mistake by posting the same question in more than one place. I am sorry.  But my intention was to get some responses from both Doms, male and females.  I am serious, and as I said I don't have a BDSM relationship with my female friend.  She is a Mistress and I am Vanilla.  She thinks that if I get invovled in this life style that our relationship will grow.  All I'm loking for are answers and/or opinions as a newbie to this way of life and I'll take it from there

(in reply to Fox108)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 12:54:11 PM   
Fox108


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/12/2008
Status: offline 		I am sorry if you were bothered but I am sincere, if you read my post of today I hope it will clear up what I'm trying to do

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 1:06:01 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fox108

First of all, I am new to this site, secondly, I made a mistake by posting the same question in more than one place. I am sorry.  But my intention was to get some responses from both Doms, male and females.  I am serious, and as I said I don't have a BDSM relationship with my female friend.  She is a Mistress and I am Vanilla.  She thinks that if I get invovled in this life style that our relationship will grow.  All I'm loking for are answers and/or opinions as a newbie to this way of life and I'll take it from there


My opinion is that the person you should be discussing this with is your female friend.

Beyond that....frankly, your first post required a secret code ring to decipher, no matter where you posted.   If you have specific BDSM questions, then ask.   If you're so new to the concept of this lifestyle, ask your friend for a recommended non-fiction reading list to help you understand the lifestyle better.   Above all, recognize that one size does not fit all - if you haven't had much interest in BDSM up until now, it may not be for you.

I'll send you the bill for my 2 cents.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 2/29/2008 1:15:13 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to Fox108)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 1:18:24 PM   
Dmon


Posts: 82
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		Well I don't know if posting the same message on different boards is allowed, but it seems wise enough. He wants diferent peoples opinions, from different perspectives. That plus he'll got more advice to process, so he can come up with an educated choice. But that aside...

I"m not a Domme, but it sounds like you two are on the wrong path. You are naturally submissive to her, which helps her covince you to become a Dom. Not the worst thing in the world, but she's already expressed that she wants her man do Dom her. In a sense she's topping from the bottom. She wants you in control, but only her way. Not bad if it works for you, but you wouldn't be here if you didn't have fears.

My suggestion. Try to learn some submissive empathy. You already want to make her happy, but you have to realize she won't be happy till your pulling her strings. I suggest you start calling the pace you learn at. Showing disapproval when she does something you don't like. If she want's to be a sub so damn much, then she needs to think about you first. Tell her that, and if it doesn't work out well that way, maybe you two need to have a talk about whats going on.

Really a Dom or Domme understands that there submissive wants to be put second in alot of things. So put yourself first. Don't think about something you'd both like to do. Think about doing something you'd like to do, and tell her thats what your doing. If she wants to make you happy, then she'll do it. And if she's submissive she'll want to make you happy. Try those hats on.. both of you. One or the other might find they don't like it so much. Then you'll have your answer, and you can find the best path to take.

Hope that helps some. Thought it's really just my 2cents.  I know I"m responding on the wrong board, but I really don't want to go look for this anywhere else.

Wondering what I'm doing, always. (my Motto)

D

< Message edited by Dmon -- 2/29/2008 1:21:54 PM >

(in reply to Fox108)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Relationship Between Doms - 2/29/2008 6:35:50 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet



Butterscotch Dom is ... but is such a sweetie .. he is liked/loved by all anyway


But I don't LIKE butterscotch... can we just call him Death by Chocolate??? 



_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 20
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