MistressFaye1
Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dmon My suggestion. Try to learn some submissive empathy. You already want to make her happy, but you have to realize she won't be happy till your pulling her strings. I suggest you start calling the pace you learn at. Showing disapproval when she does something you don't like. If she want's to be a sub so damn much, then she needs to think about you first. Tell her that, and if it doesn't work out well that way, maybe you two need to have a talk about whats going on. Really a Dom or Domme understands that there submissive wants to be put second in alot of things. So put yourself first. Don't think about something you'd both like to do. Think about doing something you'd like to do, and tell her thats what your doing. If she wants to make you happy, then she'll do it. And if she's submissive she'll want to make you happy. Try those hats on.. both of you. One or the other might find they don't like it so much. Then you'll have your answer, and you can find the best path to take. Hope that helps some. Thought it's really just my 2cents. I know I"m responding on the wrong board, but I really don't want to go look for this anywhere else. Wondering what I'm doing, always. (my Motto) D Dmon, I don't think Fox was saying she wanted to be submissive per se... looks like a little topping from the bottom, Her kink without disrupting her submissive's flow if he is not capable of doing so, so to speak. Obviously from what Fox said, she wants him to "be by herside" and as her partner, equal---maybe topping each other. Nothing here says she wants to be his submissive on any level. Simply allowing him to top her because it's what she wants does not make her a submissive. I really doubt that she will be happy when he is pulling her strings because I doubt she will allow that to happen. If he were to continue to try to "pull her strings", make demands on her because he doesn't like what she's doing, or try to change who she is seems to be causing the problem. His wanting to try to be a Dom doesn't seem to be something he is truly interested in at all. He states he's "strictly" vanilla, his post said the Mistress said she saw some traits. He asked her to mentor him and not vice versa. If they are to have a relationship there needs to be negoiation (of course). But my question is why should he expect her to stop doing what she has been prior to meeting him and they are just in the beginning stages of the relationship. We know from other posts, vanilla/BDSM couples can work but they are rare at best and acceptance has to be there. Folks need to decide what they will and will not tolerant and understand that if a compromise can't be reached, it may be time to look at being the best of friends vs, having a "stricltly vanilla man--trying on the Dom shoes, trying to make a relationship with a lifestyle, established Mistress. They both can be in a win/win situation but someone will have to give in to or give up something. It shouldn't be that way but that's what happens when folks try to box someone in. Faye
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You can put away your masquerade You won't ever have to be afraid of Me Open up your eyes and see what is in store I must the One that you are searching for.
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