secret life style (Full Version)

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chrisl -> secret life style (2/29/2008 11:00:38 PM)

     Any other women out here involved in a sub relationship outside your marriage? About 2 years ago I was food shopping and encountered the most captivating man. We started chatting in an isle and before I knew it we were outside in the parking lot kissing just blocks from my home. I couldn't explain it. We just weren't kissing he had my hands held tight behind my back up against my car. His other hand was inside my blouse squeezing my breasts. I was lost in the moment, confused yet lusting like a teenager in heat for this man. We stopped after being noticed by more than one person. I was scared to death someone I knew would see us. My life would then be over.
  He tells me to follow him in a demanding tone saying nothing else. In five minutes were in his home. I'm stripped of my clothes just feet from the foyer door. He takes my hand leading me to his bed room upstairs where I'm told to lay on the bed and wait for him. I'm probably getting carried away w/ details but long story short we make love like crazed rabbits for a lost period of time. I never came so many times in my life as that day in his bed. When it was over he reaches into his nightstand and brings out a pait of handcuffs and some ropes. I'm cuffed to the headboard and my legs are each tied to the bed posts.
   He leaves the bed, dresses telling me He'll be back later. I'm in a panic knowing I have to pick up my kids at 3:30 at the bus stop. He returns like two hours later around 2:30. He stands at the foot of the bed and takes several pictures of me. I beg him to fuck me again telling him I soon have to leave to pick up my kids. He laughs telling me I'll be released when he's satisified. My wish is granted, I'm fucked silly to the point of mind rapture. That was the first time I was ever fucked while in bondage. I'm released with just minutes to spare and told to return tomorrow same time. I left still not knowing his name.
     I left out many details but their not the point here. My delima is this has been going on for nearly two years now once to several times a week. It's progressed a thousand times past that days events. My husband who I love dearly doesn't know and I 'm feeling increasingly guilty and surprized he hasn't found out. Having come home in conditions you might imagine. I've hinted to my master about ending our fling which resulted in an arguement and boarderline threats of exposure. Over the past two years hundreds of pictures and movies have been made and just not w/ him. Others were involved in our relationship as I was loaned out on occations but we won't go into that.
   I feel as if continuing the relatinship is risking everything but the time I have away from home is addicting. I know I'm just being used as a fuck toy but again the scene is addicting. Should  I just say it's over and hope for  the best possible out come. Or continue the affair hoping he'll eventually end it and find someone else?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: secret life style (2/29/2008 11:13:43 PM)

Isn't the most important question "What is the best environment in which to raise my kids?" and "How can I be the best example to my children of how to live a fulfilling, honest, positive life?"

Staying in a silent, dead marriage isn't good, and certainly being addicted to a man who just wants to use you and has to threaten you in order to keep you isn't good either.

The question becomes when will you choose to really become a good mother and stop being a good victim of your own choices?



MasterFireMaam -> RE: secret life style (2/29/2008 11:37:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisl
I feel as if continuing the relatinship is risking everything but the time I have away from home is addicting. I know I'm just being used as a fuck toy but again the scene is addicting. Should  I just say it's over and hope for  the best possible out come. Or continue the affair hoping he'll eventually end it and find someone else?

If you feel you have an addiction, you need therapy.

If you want out of a relationship, you have to end it.

If you have someone extorting you, you need a lawyer.

If you have feelings of guilt over your actions, you need to 'fess up.

Master Fire



heartcream -> RE: secret life style (2/29/2008 11:41:27 PM)

quote:

 Should  I just say it's over and hope for  the best possible out come. Or continue the affair hoping he'll eventually end it and find someone else?


You are 'hoping' he finds someone else and forgets about you as the natural end to this? I dont know-- of course I dont, I am not you, and know virtually nothing about you...

If it were me, I would be wondering about my husband finding out. I would wonder why I was in a marriage where I had a huge double life he nothing about. I would wonder if the guy I was having the affair with, did dump my ass, if I would become desperate to find someone else to take his place. I would wonder if this guy was going to lose it, and do something uncool and damaging. I am hoping you are 'safe' with this guy and with whoever he loans you out to. If it were me I would be feeling a lot of shame and self-loathing. I would hope to find a way to nurture myself so I could also truly lift myself out of the cauldron of feeling bad about myself.

Finding out that you are kinky is nothing shameful in my books. Jeopardizing your marriage, your children, and yourself with deceit and betrayal is something else.

What LuckyAlbatross said is good advice, I would say.




RedMagic1 -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 2:55:50 AM)

Listen to the ladies.  They are smart.  You are acting stooooooooopid.



justheather -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 3:51:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chrisl

     Any other women out here involved in a sub relationship outside your marriage?

Yes. As far as I am aware, there are women here involved in relationships outside of marriage.

quote:

My husband who I love dearly doesn't know and I 'm feeling increasingly guilty and surprized he hasn't found out. Having come home in conditions you might imagine.

Are you certain your husband does not already know? Sometimes we deceive so much that it becomes second nature and we end up deceiving ourselves into believing we are getting away with something when we are not.

quote:

I've hinted to my master about ending our fling which resulted in an arguement and boarderline threats of exposure. Over the past two years hundreds of pictures and movies have been made and just not w/ him. Others were involved in our relationship as I was loaned out on occations but we won't go into that.

Well, you've made your bed. Sounds like it's time to tell your husband the truth.

Unless you enjoy blackmail, that is.

I would guess that most people enjoy the idea of blackmail more so than actually being blackmailed.


...That's why so many write about it in erotic fiction.


quote:

I feel as if continuing the relatinship is risking everything but the time I have away from home is addicting.


You have already risked everything by your actions. Figure out what it is that you really want and then be prepared to endure (and possibly/hopefully eventually transcend) the consequences of your choices.





atursvcMaam -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 4:43:42 AM)

i offer the  following suggestions.
1.  Dump the  using knucklehead.
2.  DON'T Voluntarily tell your husband.  If he asks, be truthful, but DO NOT rub his nose in your affair.  He may be smarter than you give him credit for, and wiser than you think.
3.  take the time, imagination, effort and energy that you are devoting to the knucklehead, and give it to your family.  You might be surprised at how much that can make things brighten. 
  this is a man's point of view and you can take it for what it is worth.  please do realize that i have been on the wrong end of this equation, and imho, these things could have worked.



TethersEnd -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 6:57:00 AM)

what i hear from your words is you have failed to discipline yourself. 
you are aware of the implications yet choose to continue. 
being a sub does not equate to weak, it's a choice. 

my suggestion is seek some help. 



Evility -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 7:16:35 AM)

I cannot fathom the guilt I would be feeling if I was in your shoes.

It would crush me.



Tapestry -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 8:53:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TethersEnd

what i hear from your words is you have failed to discipline yourself. 
you are aware of the implications yet choose to continue. 
being a sub does not equate to weak, it's a choice. 

my suggestion is seek some help. 



In addition to not being weak, being submissive also does not mean you are a victim.
Time to stop acting like a victim, stop being weak, and take control of who you are and who you allow yourself to be.
I choose to submit because it gives me the ultimate control.  It is MY choice.
Choices aren't always easy, life isn't always easy.




domahpet -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:06:14 AM)

im always leary of brand new members here that show up on the boards with such graphic posts.
too many wankers out there looking for us to validate their "whatever".

but id suggest, (just in case), talking to a counselor for a week or two.
everything will be kept confidential, and you'll have a chance to open up in a
non-judgemental environment and get it all sorted out.

good luck



xxblushesxx -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:11:56 AM)

Pfffttt....
Joined today
First post
I'm willing to bet that this is the same wanker who posted in 'ask a master' regarding blackmailing the married woman.
He/she/it got smarter this time and at least made a profile...



atursvcMaam -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:17:38 AM)

One of these days i believe that i should become more cynical.



TheEvilBstardsMo -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:17:48 AM)

Wow.  So much going on that is apparent and some things which might not be.  Please make an appointment with a counsellor.  You need some professional help to sort your emotions and also the practicalities of any actions you may take or need to take.  I do wish you well.



domahpet -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:18:07 AM)

Christina, you just made me smack my forehead [8|]



xxblushesxx -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:22:59 AM)

Oh! I'm sorry, I bet that hurt![sm=flowers.gif][sm=ofcourse.gif][sm=flowers.gif]



SensualPassion41 -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:42:12 AM)

Maybe ist's just me or I'm really missing something here.  I find all kinds of red flags with this.  Chrisl followed someone home she ONLY just met in a grocery store.  Without knowing ANYTHING about this man, allowed him to cuff and tie her to the bed and leave for several hours.  She put herself at great risk.  Nobody knew where she was, who she was with.  She had no idea if this man would kill her or do great bodily harm.  These are also things she needs to address as well as to why she continues to risk everything, allows herself to be blackmailed and continues on with something that could destroy all she holds dear.



GreedyTop -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 9:48:33 AM)

my first (and second) reading of the OP makes me think of stuff I've read over on literoctica.com.

just sayin



KatyLied -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 10:04:31 AM)

quote:

im always leary of brand new members here that show up on the boards with such graphic posts.


I think the detail could've been much better.  I barely give it a "C".



mnottertail -> RE: secret life style (3/1/2008 10:11:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domahpet

Christina, you just made me smack my forehead [8|]


are you jonesing for a V8 now?

Ron



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