RE: A Poem (Full Version)

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SirsPetAdrina -> RE: A Poem (3/27/2008 10:34:49 PM)

this was as nice a poem as the opening one.
quote:

ORIGINAL: silvermuse

okay, I'm 'game'

this one isn't a D/s poem, but is one of mine and I freely admit I don't write brilliant poetry.

Breathe



Don’t take him from me
I won’t let him go
Breathe


Six weeks isn’t enough
I won’t give him up
Breathe


Give me a sign
A movement of chest
Breathe


My life for his
My dreams I’ll give
Breathe


Hear my plea
Grant me a chance
Breathe


A flicker of life
The return of hope
He breathes.






SirsPetAdrina -> RE: A Poem (3/27/2008 10:43:25 PM)

i can tell that this one came from the heart and of personal experience and it is VERY good
quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

Fair enough Noah

Tear apart as you will

~Of Things I've Done~

I look with eyes of honesty
in this world of deciet and lies
for a girl who waits in sinserity
for another pair of honest eyes.

I am not perfect I must confess
my past is filled with tears
as a Master I have made mistakes
and earned scars throughout the years

a slave is a responsibility
in my youth I took too soon
I took their gift and returned not
and lay wake in all but ruin

I learned my trade on broken things
and the beliefs I've torn apart
for the slave she trusted all I was
her reward a broken heart

I am not perfect of this I've said
Today I try my best
I lead my slave the best I can
and lay my past to rest

I don't forget the person I was
all too quick to take
promises made today I keep
and ammends today I make

I've been entrusted a human life
she gave herself to me
a Man who's made a million wrongs
I wonder if she'll see

I never question her dilligence
as once I did my own
she's the sweetest any man could want
and the only love I've ever known

Steel ~~ 2006





mistoferin -> RE: A Poem (3/27/2008 10:58:37 PM)

Written way back when...
 
Pounding
 
Relentless noise inside my mind
Nowhere can I find my space
Seeking refuge from the storm
Is it there’s no quiet place?
And the pounding goes on…
 
Questions, doubts and endless fears
Like knives are cutting through the meat
Screech as metal meets the bone
Is it that no one can hear?
And the pounding goes on…
 
Old demons rear their ugly heads
Cold their hands upon my throat
Heartbeats fast inside my chest
Am I ever all alone?
And the pounding goes on…
 
Tears like acid on my cheek
Leaving scars no one can see
Blood is pouring from my soul
Is it red to only me?
And the pounding goes on…
 
Brush my teeth and comb my hair
Wash away the anarchy
Adorn the smile too well known
Do you think it’s really me?
But the pounding…it goes on…




SixFootMaster -> RE: A Poem (3/28/2008 1:44:42 AM)

I wrote this one

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V




MasterSteel007 -> RE: A Poem (3/31/2008 8:16:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaIsabel


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSteel007

Passions Drip


She, so tied upon my bed

and me, so standing by her head

She takes me in her mouth so warm

In my loins my blood does swarm


The thrusting into her wetness yet

It will be an eventful night, you bet

She's so spread eagle and open wide

and Me, not fully in my stride


I thrust my fingers into her lair

and with my fist, I clench her hair

She wants to cummm, but I think not

It's on my command and in her spot


For when she loves me on her knees

my eyes do tear, my soul she'll please

I pound her deep into the night

not with much pain or lots of fright



I'll treat her the way a Master should

only spanking her when she isn't good

But wait! I think I hear a sigh

She wants to cummm, she wants to fly



Finally, I allow pet to explode

her dam erupts a mother load

I love it when she squirts for me

utter joy and ecstacy



She is mine forever more

Never again will she need the door

I will untie her eventually

when I am satisfied and full of glee


The I will cuddle her in my arms

and she will enjoy her Masters charms

For only true Masters can make her see

The simple purpose of serving me.


Master Steel




i love the whole thing i love when i feel exactly what the poem describes its like that is exactly what puts me isn subspace

*************************
Thank you so much for the nice words...
It's funny how some people will hate something and other people will love it...
But I guess it's as they say...
Different strokes for different strokes!

*********************************




MasterSteel007 -> RE: A Poem (3/31/2008 8:30:58 PM)

So Mine
 
Yes, her hair all tussled red
and I'm peeling her every thread
her splayed out arms and legs for me
I'm waiting and teasing to make her see
 
That she is mine and mine alone
I am her heart I am her home
Her blindfolds on but not too tight
I have just candles but no lights
 
The music soothes me, desire looms
I have captured in my rooms
She wanted to come and come she shall
Her seizure of ecstacy petit mal
 
She squirms in bonds all made of silk
her hair so red her skin so milk
I yearn to touch her and slowly I do
She quivers and shudders through and through
 
I lick my way inside her thighs
I have for her a great suprise
She is so mine this smoldering night
I'll ravage her with sweet delight
 
She is so wet and prime and warm
my lips on hers will gently swarm
as I take her again and again
When I am done she'll not know when
 
Afterwards I'll bathe her in some oil
whence wanderlust shall never toil
Her moans are music to my ears
I'll nibble her neck and kiss her ears
 
For into the night, I'll show her love
and never again she'll be betrothed
That other Master who treated her wrong
Shall not be able to dampen my song
 
Late in the morning, she'll sleep in my arms
free from troubles and safe from harm
I'll lay awake and watch the dawn
I have my pet, I have my fawn.
 
Master Steel
 
************************




HerLord -> RE: A Poem (3/31/2008 9:40:42 PM)

Big Brass balls. good show.




ThistleDown -> RE: A Poem (3/31/2008 10:04:30 PM)

I don't have the attention span or the time to read all the way through this thread, so forgive me if I'm restating a comment already made or commenting on a moot point, but I have just one small thing to say.

I agree with Noah's original post on this thread and I think it's because to me, the issue about responses to the poem is really an issue of respect. It's ok to think the poem was poorly written but there are more polite ways to express that than "It sucks". Also, a "good natured jibe" as someone put it (sorry I can't recall) is only really just that if it is respectful or less respectful within the context of a familiar relationship/conversation in which such an exchange of words is normal. (in other words if MasterSteel were making equally crude comments and joking that way with everyone else, it would be fine but as it is/was the "good natured jibes" are only insulting).
Edit: note here to say, although the jibes may be insults, that doesn't mean they would necessarily be taken as such by MasterSteel. <- needed to clarify that I acknowledge possibilities other than the way I see things.

So having said that, I can't say whether Steel's ego really cared one way or the other, I didn't post this to defend his ego (as I'm sure he's capable of that himself) neither did I post this to change anyone. It's a comment about respectful criticism.

~puppy




MasterSteel007 -> RE: A Poem (4/4/2008 12:38:36 PM)

Yes, I respect every opinion...and totally feel that everyone is entitled to one!
 




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