A Poem (Full Version)

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MasterSteel007 -> A Poem (3/1/2008 10:37:15 PM)

Passions Drip


She, so tied upon my bed

and me, so standing by her head

She takes me in her mouth so warm

In my loins my blood does swarm


The thrusting into her wetness yet

It will be an eventful night, you bet

She's so spread eagle and open wide

and Me, not fully in my stride


I thrust my fingers into her lair

and with my fist, I clench her hair

She wants to cummm, but I think not

It's on my command and in her spot


For when she loves me on her knees

my eyes do tear, my soul she'll please

I pound her deep into the night

not with much pain or lots of fright



I'll treat her the way a Master should

only spanking her when she isn't good

But wait! I think I hear a sigh

She wants to cummm, she wants to fly



Finally, I allow pet to explode

her dam erupts a mother load

I love it when she squirts for me

utter joy and ecstacy



She is mine forever more

Never again will she need the door

I will untie her eventually

when I am satisfied and full of glee


The I will cuddle her in my arms

and she will enjoy her Masters charms

For only true Masters can make her see

The simple purpose of serving me.


Master Steel






colouredin -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 8:07:57 AM)

Was that poem put up for critique? or simply for congratulations? 




ExSteelAgain -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 8:22:12 AM)

The true Master line got me. [:)]




colouredin -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 8:27:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

The true Master line got me. [:)]


Lol i dunno, i liked the "her dam erupts a mother load" had images of space ships and everything




SteelofUtah -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 9:30:22 AM)

What I like is that somehow spanking her when she isn't good is what a Master *SHOULD* do.

Hell apparently I been doing all wrong all these years cause I spank her becuase she is good and she is good cause she knoes if she is I'll spank her.

Guess I ain't a Twue Master after all

**Drops his Badge and Decoder Ring at the door and heads off to find the rest of the Fake ones**




breatheasone -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 9:34:18 AM)

Right on Steel.....I would be a very sad slave if I only got a spanking when I was "bad" [;)]




colouredin -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 9:36:16 AM)

To be honest it was just a terribly pretentious pile of badly written porn, but thanks for sharing :D




SteelofUtah -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 9:51:59 AM)

^^^^ Okay that was funny as hell




colouredin -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 9:53:33 AM)

you laughing at me or with me? i can never tell




celticlord2112 -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 10:53:27 AM)

There once was a lad from Nantucket.....





SteelofUtah -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 11:00:35 AM)

With you coloeredin.

I liked your comment




domahpet -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 11:02:13 AM)

ive seen this poem before, and it made me think...
if someones passion is dripping, they should go to the doc ASAP.
i dont think i made it to the end that time either.




ThinkingKitten -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 11:11:18 AM)

To the OP: Don't give up your day job.




Noah -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 12:08:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

What I like is that somehow spanking her when she isn't good is what a Master *SHOULD* do.


It's a poem, Steel, a personal expression, not an instruction book for fuck's sake.

Kind of like when Billy Collins says, in a poem, that the right way to write a poem is to first undress, then peel off your skin and remove all your organs except those down there

He doesn't intend you to follow his instructions, I don't think. It's just that ...

Death and sex
Death and sex
Poetry poetry
Death and sex

Anyway, the original poster had the right organs in the right quantity to put his stuf out there and I applaud him and thank him for it. How many of the big, bad motherfuckers (and motherfuckettes) around here have posted anything that took half that much balls?

A beer-soaked bowling team doesn't owe anyone perfect pitch when they stagger out of the lanes bellowing "WE are the CHAMPIONS".

A tomcat yowling after a good night in his alley doesn't owe anyone deathless verse.

This dude was obviously reelin' with the feelin' and he let it all hang out. I'd rather read something from the heart all day long than crap carefully calculated to appease the kind of critics who never even opened their ear to the little masterpiece of emotional expression lurking under that dandy little pile of mixed metaphors.

I say that poem rocked!

To paraphrase the editor character in "Shipping News": If you want War and Peace go read William Fucking Shakespeare.

In the mean time let's see some poetry from all the other dissers in the thread. I'm sitting here all ready to appreciate it, beer in hand. Or else, go on, try in vain to find a single imperfection in my quatrain above.






ownedgirlie -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 12:15:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Was that poem put up for critique? or simply for congratulations? 


I figured he was just sharing it with us.




ExSteelAgain -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 12:31:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Was that poem put up for critique? or simply for congratulations? 


I figured he was just sharing it with us.


I know Noah was talking to the other Steel, but since I was one of the negative posters on the thread, I thought the poem was pretentious and sucked. If every post can be tore apart on the basis of writing abilty and word meaning, this post was not above the pack. Maybe it was just Noah's self-admitted beer talking, but I found the attack on the good natured jibes at the poem silly.




colouredin -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 12:38:33 PM)

I agree, if you post something like that you cant expect people not to talk about it and how they feel about it. 




KyttynTheMynx -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 12:39:17 PM)

I have to agree.  This poem sucks.  Theres no imagination to it other than, "I'm horny, got my dick in my hand, and I wanna write a poem!"  Sorry, but I had to be honest.




liketophoto -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 12:51:28 PM)

A pack of crows
sitting on a wire
one crows
another crows
crow crow crow
crows say
in their crow voice
look at me
look at me
poems
a single expression
just more words
by a writer




colouredin -> RE: A Poem (3/2/2008 1:01:28 PM)

I would like to, if i may quote a small section of mastersteel007's profile for your perusal

"Yes, I am a Master.
I am the best lover/Master
you will ever experience.
Not saying I will be the
last for you...
But yes, the best...
I shall have you pleading and begging and moaning in ecstacy.
I shall have you trembling with pleasure.
You shall be mine.
Why do you hesitate so?
Come to me now..."

I now have to ask, who thinks that anything we said would have dented this (clearly impressive) man's ego in the slightest? Who now feels utterly remorseful for their previous comments? I must admit, i dont.




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