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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/6/2008 10:27:01 PM   
HouseDV8


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From: Houston
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HouseDV8

quote:

I thought escorts had spreadsheets with the items listed and costs of such items. Ask for a price list, that way you'll know what the going rate is and if the item is not listed you may have to negotiate. Do escorts have hard limits? I rate this thread: fun!


quote:

I would suggest that she would say that she likes howling at the moon and eating grass if it got her paid, you cant assume that there are personal emotional feelings attached with something like this because it is work. You have to just be responsible and not put her in any stupid danger but you cant expect her to enjoy it.


quote:

i know a few sex workers, and for them the bottom line is always money. And that's in NY and Florida. i can only assume the E.European types are even more focused on it. There's no harm in having fun with her, and gettig your money's worth, right. Hell, i know a couple girls in Orlando that would LOVELOVELOVE to be paid in British Pounds for that sorta thing...just saying


quote:

As many others here have opined, she is what you pay her to be, and as long as you're enjoying yourself there is certainly nothing wrong with that.


quote:

If You expect more...stop paying her...see if she thinks it's cute.  Maybe You luck out, stranger things have happened.  Wouldn't it be great to read THAT success story on the boards?  But protect Yourself.  She is providing a paid service at the time.


It seems to me that the only person on this thread so far that knows what they are talking about, is the OP!

Everything i just quoted above and some stuff i didn't is very close to complete crap. Hard for me to believe you all want to chime in when you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

First, any smart American escort does NOT have a menu. I menu is against the law...as soon as you say what you will or will not do that is prostitution and not escorting. If a girl has a menu i would stay away. Girls from other countries might have menus depending on their laws, and certainly there are lots of stupid American escorts that have a menu.

Second, while some escorts will certainly say or do whatever it takes to get your money, most will not, or will quit doing that once they get burned good. When they do that, guys write reviews and next thing they know the only guys calling are the ones wanting the stuff they hate, but pretended to like. Most girls do have very specific rules and some girls are even self-aware enough to have very specific likes and dislikes, but more than likely you will have to see her to find out what they are.

Most escorts are NOT money hungry, they are lazy. They have what i call, "stripper mentality". They become escorts because they think it is a job that they can do when they want and not do when they don't want and that it does not require any particular skill set. For this reason they are never successful...and what do ALL NON-successful people have in common? A money issue. They come off as money hungry because they are desperate to get their bills paid. Once they do that, they go back to being totally lazy and you can't even get them on the phone...clearly this is not money hungry. Money hungry is Donald Trump.

(No offense to any specific stripper or escort...i am generalizing. There are always exceptions.)

Escorts are NOT there to be what you pay them to be. The idea is to SELECT an escort that already IS what you want. You are paying her for her time. There is no way an escort would be able to be available for you to fuck her if she was not getting paid...everyone has to pay the bills somehow. She would have to be doing something else. Good escorts see their clients as boyfriends that pay them so that they can be available for fun at all times, and not need to be working 40 or more hours a week.

Which leads us to the absolutely terrible idea of trying to stop paying her and see what happens...i can tell you what will happen...she will have to go make money some where else. It does not matter if she likes you or not. Unless you are offering to keep her in the lifestyle she is accustomed to, then this will not work...even if she is in love with you.

Would you ask anyone else to quit their job so that you can enjoy them? Not without taking over their cost of living you wouldn't.

OK...now to the actual question. As far as what activities she likes...ask her by doing it. Do it, then ask...she does know yes and no, right? Ask her questions that she can easily answer yes or no...you have to be pretty specific and clever to do this...women in particular are not as black and white as men might like us to be.

Also, teach her the 1 to 10 scale by example...do something to yourself or have her do it, that you do NOT like...something simple, like being pinched or having your foot stepped on...show her that is a 1. Then do something or have her do something that you REALLY like...show her that is a 10. I am sure she will catch on. If her English is really poor, you can try using an online translator by having her write in her own language and then translating it to English...sometimes this works...sometimes it is hilariously wrong, but either way, it is fun.

In regards to her being a sub/slave...i have to agree with what some of the others have said. That is a harder thing to determine and it seems to be very individual as to how either term is defined.

To me, a sub is a person who's personal happiness/nirvana is reached when they know that they serve and please, and some need to also know that it is appreciated, but not all...some are intrinsic and get happy just by serving, whether it is appreciated or not. A slave is a sub that has made the choice to be owned, which, in theory, is her/his last choice other than those given to him/her by his/her Owner.

How can you determine this? You seem pretty smart to me, i bet you will figure it out!





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(in reply to HouseDV8)
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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 1:08:06 PM   
giveeverything


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Wow... this thread got weird.

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 1:53:01 PM   
Daddyslilpookie


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From: OC, California
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All I can say is she is probably just looking for a green card and or visa which to get that she would have to marry you. I would be wise if I were you.

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"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 3:23:18 PM   
Sundowner


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Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Treat her like the ho' that she is.

See if you can tell how many guys she has fucked in the last twenty four hours by doing a dna test and look for all of the different markers....It could be fun.

Spit on her.

Make her lick the shit off of your dick. For an extra ten bucks you can probably fuck her with some household items...A broom, remote or steel wool. Use your imagination. Have fun.

If she dies just throw her corpse in a river....Ho's die all of the time. It takes cops years to catch their killers because no one really cares. They are actually more of a nuisance when they are living.


The world is your oyster...Enjoy.




Thanks domi - I'll certainly ponder those suggestions. I might not go for all of them but I'll definitely give them the consideration they deserve.   

And she's here for a week, so I'm pretty confident I won't need even to think about the extra ten bucks (I assume that's something like what we Brits call a "fiver"?). Extras come free when you play at this level.


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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 3:26:13 PM   
Sundowner


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quote:

ORIGINAL: HouseDV8
My well founded and well thought out opinion is that the money eliminates the issues. The money allows the two people to absolutely indulge in a pleasurable relationship without any of the red tape, drama, issues, or heartache that comes with other encounters. It has nothing to do with how they feel or do not feel about each other. Money cannot keep someone from really liking another person, nor can it cause someone to feel something they would not have otherwise. Not FEEL, possibly FAKE, but not feel. They can absolutely fall in love, or be friends, or just be fuck-buddies, or lovers. The money cannot determine or change the relationship...only the people can. The money only simplifies it so that there is a very clear understanding of boundries. They can fall in love, but they cannot expect or assume anything.


          Now that is perceptive. If only the posters who have worried a little too much about the money thing could have read that, House, and understood it.


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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 3:39:01 PM   
Sundowner


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quote:

ORIGINAL: giveeverything

Wow... this thread got weird.


If you think that giveeverything, how do you think I feel!! 

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 3:44:14 PM   
Sundowner


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissMagnolia

Who fucking cares about your feelings DV8? Get back to the question in hand.

Sundowner my lovely, sadly she IS an escort and, as most of us know, escorts are money orientated. I don't know how you can tell what she really wants or is offering, just because I've never been in the situation. What is your gut instinct telling you? All I can think is push the bar and see how far it goes.


For shame MM - I know you to be one of the good guys! Of course you, like me, care about people's feelings. You should go give DV8 a nice friendly kiss on the cheek and say you're sowwy. 

And oh MM - quelle mistake - not "sadly" she is an escort. She likes it, I like it and I know most people here think I'm a pervert for it but sorry - I so enjoy it. And it so suits my lifestyle.

Of course I'd rather be shacked up for a week with you MM (who wouldn't) - and if I had the time I'd love to be shacked up a week at a time with half the females on CM for that matter - but it just isn't going to happen. Trust me on this!

Whereas pretty, kind, thoughtful, d/s inclined young twenty something year old blonde is going to happen. And she and I have sorted out the money thing days ago and we're both focussed on a great week ahead. NOT a lifetime together as deeply caring partners - she doesn't want that - yuk - and I don't want that. But we're already friends and I hope will stay friends for a long time (even tho our communication is somewhat limited).

So again, it's not about the money thing or the escort thing - there I'm way ahead of most of you. But I'm way behind most of you in understanding d/s. Hence the original request for help.

But no more - please guys no more!

You know that thing? When you've got yourself in a deep hole, stop digging.

Thank you so much for all the comments - those that got the point as well as those that missed it a touch.

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 3/7/2008 3:45:41 PM   
atursvcMaam


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Sorry, i was misled by the original question.  how do i TELL?   if you try it without the money involved, you will get a clearer answer, although you may not be happy with the result. 

_____________________________

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Love ya, but, when the zombies start chasing us, i am tripping you.
The glass is always full, the question is, "with what?"

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 4:32:11 AM   
Sundowner


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WARNING:  OLD THREAD - JUST AN UPDATE
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
She may be a slave/sub but the bottom line is that she isn't yours unless you pay and she's only yours for the time you've paid for.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp 
If You expect more...stop paying her...see if she thinks it's cute.  Maybe You luck out, stranger things have happened.  Wouldn't it be great to read THAT success story on the boards?  ...



A number of people suggested (with differing levels of cynicism) that I should later post an update.

Well now is later; and - pleasingly and maybe surprisingly - it's a success story update  .

We're back in the UK and we did indeed move from a paid escort basis to a non-commercial friends basis. She's amazing and she and Greedy, who met her when she was over here, are good friends too (and an endorsement from GT really is a Class A endorsement).

She's now here in CM with us as blondestar. When I see her we spend time exploring how far to go in marking her bottom and working together on her English study homework. (No. Not at the same time).

So yes, about as rare as unicorns, but fairytales can come true sometimes. 

Mind you I still can't hack this complicated bdsm thing. Working out what presses people's individual buttons is always hard. And working on that was the aim of the original post and thank you to those whose useful suggestions helped (and while they didn't solve the problem, they did help).


---------------------


I re-read my original post. It really does say "she very clearly likes bondage" and it really does ask "how do I tell if she's slave or sub?". It really doesn't ask for views on whether I misunderstood "she clearly likes" nor does it ask advice on whether playing bdsm games with an escort is sensible. But sheesh, this is CM - always good for the unexpected.


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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 4:53:56 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
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From: Austin Texas
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Ah happy post!

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 5:23:19 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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*smoochies SD respectfully*
Love a great end to a fantastic beginning!
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 6:27:01 AM   
lusciouslips19


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Sundowner,

Till her English gets better have you thought about purchasing a translater that converts russian to english and vice versa so you can ask her what her limits and desires are? Just a thought.

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 7:57:26 AM   
Sundowner


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Joined: 3/11/2007
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Thanks for that delicious luscious. Her English is not bad - she and GT got on like a house on fire (the evil girl said she could understand GT's American better than my English!). We do use a translator or a dictionary at times but that's tedious and it's the subtleties of language which are missing. And like many people, she's shy about expressing intimate needs.

So simple things are no problem. "Shall I beat the shit out of you dear?"  "Fuck off you sad bastard" (I paraphrase you understand) are straightforward.

We survive

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 8:06:24 AM   
lusciouslips19


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Must be all those American movies and shows!
I have American Students that speak African American Slang. Doubt she would understand that. I cant even understand them.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 5/23/2008 8:07:01 AM >


_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Sundowner)
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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 8:29:48 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
FTR.. Blondie is an absolute DOLL!! cute as hell in all the important ways (not just physically, although there IS that..LOL). SD has a winner,,., She's smart, sexy, has a great sense of humor... Iwant one just like her ;)

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 10:32:25 AM   
LadyRainfire


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   I love to hear great stories like this. And it couldn't happen to nicer people!

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My current state of mind

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 10:34:39 AM   
Justme696


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Sundowner

that is almost a fairy tail. Enjoy!!!!

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 11:21:31 AM   
AquaticSub


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*Fast Reply*

Hey... there are times a girl likes to be proven wrong. My very best to you both!

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 4:08:46 PM   
RedMagic1


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Congratulations, Sundowner.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Please - how do I tell? - 5/23/2008 4:30:28 PM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
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quote:

 
quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp 
If You expect more...stop paying her...see if she thinks it's cute.  Maybe You luck out, stranger things have happened.  Wouldn't it be great to read THAT success story on the boards?  ...


 
i'm sure my cynicism level was about a 3...definately no more than 4.  But at least i was optimistic....  Best wishes to you both.  Now if you throw a wedding...may i come with GT?  i plan on fuc...err, i mean sightseeing through England someday....

What i found odd was the prophetic post of one on this thread...
quote:

  Anywhoooo, it's been a good run. I'm sure moderation awaits for me just around the corner on one of these early Spring days.

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay.

Stay gold domiguy.




(in reply to Sundowner)
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