|
LadiesBladewing -> RE: "Under Consideration" (10/8/2005 7:37:25 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: JustaTop
That's just hendonism speaking.
I don't take people who think everyone should be "sharing" any more seriously than those who think no one should. It only shows a self centered mindset that cannot see beyond it's own desires. I tried poly years ago,and it was just too damned difficult-and you do NOT want two subs coming into pms at the same time around you![&:]
Does his best "Monty Phython and the Holy Grail" imitation......."Run away,run away!!!!"[&:]
[clipped]
Boy, do I agree with you here...and HOW! It is my profound belief, backed by a lot of experience, that different people are set up for different things, and if you aren't "wired" poly -- if it doesn't interest someone, scares the living daylights out of them, disgusts them, annoys them, or just plain feels "wrong", they should listen to those gut feelings. Struggling with poly just because someone said some nice words and you're really hungry for a relationship almost NEVER works. Some people are at their best one-on-one, and should never settle for something that makes them uncomfortable just to have "something".
Poly is -hard-. We've had decades of experience -- even -before- we got involved with D/s -- and it is -still- hard, and lots of work. As far as PMS *grins* for a while, our guys had to deal with not one, or two, but SIX women, all cycling within a two week time-period in the month. It's not so bad now. There are four of us women living in the same house, and two of us are still cycling (the other two of us are post-hysterectomy, but we -still- have some of the same monthly swings, even without uterus and ovaries!) Even as -women-, it is a challenge to deal with other women PMS-ing. I often wondered why the menfolk bothered *chuckles*. But they did, and we were exceptionally happy, because all of us really understood and -wanted- the life we were in. We knew we were poly -before- we got involved in it, and when the opportunity presented itself, we felt joy, not angst.
On the other hand, I could never conceive of being in a monogamous relationship again. I tried it, and really worked at it for 13 years because I didn't know a single other person who, like me, was interested in multiple relationships. Honestly, I thought I was completely alone in the world, and tried to suppress it for years and years -- and left my marriage 2 years before I finally found a poly family, because it was suffocating me, and was killing both of us. I know better now. I won't promise what I can't give, and no matter how interesting someone is to us, if he or she isn't poly and -comfortable- with being that, not coerced into it, we won't encourage them, because they'd end up being desperately unhappy with us.
On the other hand, if the huge complexities of a multi-person household sounds like fun, and a challenge someone'd -enjoy- sorting out... well...where they heck are ya, cause we'd sure love having a tall guy who knows how to take care of himself, can cook decent organic meals, could take orders from women without it damaging his self-esteem and masculinity, is fiscally responsible, has work that he loves that is portable enough to allow him to be where we are ('cause our work isn't portable), can take a flogging, enjoys dressing up and can hold his own in a tux INCLUDING being able to talk the talk, walk the walk, and dance a waltz, can hold a decent philosophical, esoteric and/or political discussion, enjoys dancing and spending the day touring antique shops, understands opera, anime, and SF&F, and doesn't mind living in a place where it NEVER gets cool enough to be truly refreshing (ok, even I have trouble with this part) -- heck, never hurts to ask, huh? *laughs*
Lady Zephyr
|
|
|
|
