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New Question - 3/2/2008 4:01:42 PM   
domguy54


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/15/2004
Status: offline 		I am a Dominant. I am really looking for some input from submissives to this question. Why don't submissives answer emails? They seem to answer if they are interested, but they feel it is ok to ignore it when they are not? Isn't it just being polite to answer no matter what the answer?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:06:58 PM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I think that some people believe it is more polite not to answer at all rather than to say that they are not interested.  I'm almost 50, and different rules seem to apply to my generation than to later ones, and the Internet tends to be a much more laid back place.  I wouldn't take it personally if I were you, but simply know that it wasn't taught as good manners.

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Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:07:06 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domguy54

They seem to answer if they are interested, but they feel it is ok to ignore it when they are not?


There's your answer right there.  Any clue how many emails a submissive female gets on this site?  Any clue what the typical response is when the thank you, but no thank you email is sent?  I've been called a pig, a slut, a wannabe, a fake, a cunt.  It's just easier to not respond.  If the female submissive is interested in you they will answer your email.  Otherwise...no answer is an answer.   Blah blah blah.  Yadda yadda yadda.

edited for typos.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 3/2/2008 4:08:05 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:08:17 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		This question is asked at least once a week around here. The usual response is, if you get no response that is your response ... they are not interested.

Keep in mind there are mail filters which people use and if you fall under one of those filters your email will go to the bulk folder and never be seen.

Don't take the lack of response personally. Subs and slave get tons of emails.

< Message edited by MsLadySue -- 3/2/2008 4:09:31 PM >

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In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to domguy54)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:09:05 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		I answer virtually all emails. However, as an owned female slave who is hoping for a sister, I also send emails to female submissives sometimes, mostly asking just for penpals and friendships to begin with. They are seldom answered.
To be honest, I don't think men ever experience what sometimes happens to women on sites like these. If a profile is written in the 'right way', she can get litterally hundreds of responses. Ignoring them seems the only option. Sometimes even deleting them unopened, if it becomes too overwhelming. If she does manage to read, she will probably only bother to respond to those that spark her most, and who can say what that will be?
I have written profiles on sites - this and others - that got that kind of response, and profiles that got virtually no notice. Almost never anything in between - either one extreme or the other. If it most be one of the extremes, I must admit, I prefer the no notice to the hundreds of emails. At least, then, when I do get a letter, it is probably from someone I have something in common with.
However, I, personally, have never been able to isolate what causes one or the other. It's all a crap shoot.
Be patient. When you find the right one, they will answer back.

(in reply to domguy54)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:09:47 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		lol...

You'll have to forgive the responses that you get to this question... it gets asked at least once per week.  However, for the sake of brevity, here is what you'll get in a nutshell...

No response is a response.

There is no obligation to respond to an unsolicited email... do you reply to the junk mail you get in your mailbox?

Subs are overwhelmed with messages and responding to each one is a full-time job.

Too many dominants take a response of any kind as an invitation to continue the conversation.  They seem to think "no" really means "yes" and the sub just needs to be convinced.

Too many dominants cannot handle rejection even if given politely.  A gentle "no thank you" can solicit very rude comments in return.

I'm sure I'm leaving out many other of the standard replies to this question, but I'm sure you get the idea. 

Good luck, here. 

(in reply to domguy54)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:12:36 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Unsolicited mail of any sort is junk mail.  There is no Miss Manners or Emily Post obligation to answer it.

I've gotten a lot of responses to the initial letters I wrote women, and I've had several women write me first.  Some things you could try to increase your response rate:

1. Don't write a woman with a pic up until she's been on the site at least three weeks.  You will be lost in the wankerwave.
2. Write women who don't post pics.  Some very attractive (and nice) women do not post their pictures.
3. Make it clear that you read their profile.
4. Tell a joke.
5. Be a gentleman.  Talk about anything but sex.
6. Don't write more than three paragraphs.

Good luck!

PS: If you followup-post that the younger generation just has no manners anymore, I will realize you are a whiner and stop taking you seriously.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:19:28 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		It depends on the email I guess, rude, one words etc many wont reply, I reply to most even if its just to insult the person. And it gets sooooooo tiring saying, not interested, look at my profile, leave me alone 

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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(in reply to domguy54)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:20:15 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		it could be because of the contents of your letter, it could be the contents of your profile, it could be simply not meshing well, your email could have been filtered and gone straight to the junk folder, and from anything so much as you being male.

the amount and sort i usually receive, i generally reply to each one in full.  it is rare indeed that i get the crazies or the letters that leave me feeling the best option is to simply not reply.  but under the situation of someone like aileen stated, i'm extremely sympathetic to the shit she and others deal with and are expected to deal with.

my best guess is that something on your part will be the cause that they don't reply, even if they are not interested the reason they might not write back "no thank you" is very likely due to the impression they got from reading it.  being polite is not worth a pain in the ass, some realize this sooner than later.

(in reply to domguy54)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:27:21 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I get emails from male slaves, submissives, doms, couples, females dommes, subs and slaves.

I *try* to write everyone back except for the ones who make it clear they are interested in me as a woman even though I have made it clear I am taken.

If you are interested in me as a person, and you would like to talk over things pertaining to the lifestyle (unless they are private things), I am open to conversation.

That being said, when I was available, the amount of mail could get overwhelming, and at that time, I just did the best I could, and iggied the obvious wankers.

RedMagic is right in that there are some beautiful women, and hot men here without pics, who are looking for a reaction to their personalities instead of to their pics. Be a person first, be patient, be funny and be nice, and you *may* find what you are looking for.

Best of luck to ya!

~Christina

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:28:16 PM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		could have something to do with that horrifying lifesize santa in your pic?
im just sayin...

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Zeedaddys
~DJ domahpet~
*Love is giving someone the power to break your heart, but trusting them not to*

*crystal*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLI12uN6k5k

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:32:01 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		well people aren't under obligation to respond to someone they don't know---and maybe your St Nick pic doesn't inspire confidence----people are funny that way.
 


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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to domguy54)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 4:57:08 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I missed the Santa pic!
I don't see Santa!!
****wahhhh****

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 5:03:40 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

No response is a response.

There is no obligation to respond to an unsolicited email... do you reply to the junk mail you get in your mailbox?

Too many dominants take a response of any kind as an invitation to continue the conversation.  They seem to think "no" really means "yes" and the sub just needs to be convinced.

Too many dominants cannot handle rejection even if given politely.  A gentle "no thank you" can solicit very rude comments in return.


What she said!


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 5:28:23 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I'm thinking two journals entries that both have a negative tone, a profile that kinda wanders all over the place, and the wow-extreme-Xmas-decorations equals three strikes.  I'm just sayin'.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 6:09:20 PM   
Tapestry


Posts: 226
Joined: 10/29/2005
Status: offline 		Do a search of the topic and you will find many many threads dedicated to this topic.  Not a new question at all.  Look through the search results and see you get some helpful insight.

_____________________________

Tapestry

Daddy's Little Girl

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

www.tapestry41.blogspot.com

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 6:12:25 PM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		Some subs have emails filters turned on ... so iit is possible you email ended up in their bulk box and never seen

They may have a certain age range or specifics they are interested in  and you do not  match their interests, they are under no obligation to respond ....you are not their dominant.

The sub maybe recieving 10 to  20  or more  emails daily and simply has no time to respond to each and every one
I know I have have had 20 to 30 emails a day and checking out the profiles of each Dom and responding can take up a huge chunk of any free time I have, even when I do try to respond to all.

The sub you contacted may still have a profile on board  but may no longer visiting the site , if they have not turn off the last online time you can check on their profile when they where last on  to ensure your sending an email to someone who has not been aruund for the last several months


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Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 6:44:36 PM   
newbie2008


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:


I missed the Santa pic!
I don't see Santa!!
****wahhhh****

Are you truly prepared to be horrified?  Go to his profile, and go to his second photo.

(Actually, I don't find it horrifying so much as surprising - not something I expected to see.  And at least it isn't a penis pic.)

I wonder if the OP included it because he knew it would generate a buzz, and possibly get subs to look at his profile?

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 6:49:14 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline 		Christina, It's still there, it is just not the primary pic anymore. Just click through his pics to see it.
I had my picture taken with Santa until I was TWELVE. My grandmother insisted.
I was an early bloomer. The year I was 12, Santa goosed me, and I informed my grandmother that that would definatly be the LAST year.

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New Question - 3/2/2008 6:59:48 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

I've been called a pig, a slut, a wannabe, a fake, a cunt.


How rude of them to call you a wannabe and a fake, but at least they were right on the other 3.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to Aileen1968)
Profile   Post #: 20
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