I am what I claim, not what I do

I am what I claim, not what I do (Full Version)

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MissAidan -> I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 9:44:54 PM)
This is something I have been tossing around in my head since the munch I attended last night. I go every month with few exceptions, know most of the folks at least by face, and almost always learn something new. I also love that under it's new management, the munch group is getting much larger, growing to include guests from out of state groups as well. Last night, there was a couple from out of town sitting one table over, and I could not help but watch them. During introductions and a couple of smoke breaks, I learned that they claim to have a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. I also learned that she has a serious distaste for, and distrust of, switches and thinks submissives are just players, that the only "real" BDSMers are Masters/Mistresses and slaves. What I observed after learning this was very interesting. Her behaviour the entire evening (even after the munch when a bunch of us went to a club for an AIDS benefit) was nothing short of appaling. I know everyone has their own way of practicing, and that titles mean different things to different people, but I have NEVER heared of an M/s dynamic where her behaviour is acceptable. She got smart with her "Master" time and time again, to the point of insulting him once, and flat our refusing simple requests such as drink refils or finding the server. She also took a nasty attitude when several of us younger folk near her began discussing switching, talking down to us and doing everything short of calling us fake. However, when someone finally got fed up with her pioty (pious-ness?) and mentioned that her bahviour was about as far from slave as she could get, she got all defensive and started listing off all the things she does that make her a "slave". Some of these were just too funny. 1-she wears leather because he wants her to (she spent all night bitching about her new leather boots!) 2-she acts as one type of pet for him when she would rather be another (but wont tell him this) 3-she does the laundry (he works, she doesn't) and 4 (the best by far) she is his slave because she says she is and we should all just leave it at that. What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix.

Exquemelin -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 9:54:47 PM)
My imediate thought maybe when they got home she got a good long beating for being "such a bad girl."

MissAidan -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 10:00:24 PM)
While she certainly deserved something for it all, he seemed too browbeaten by her to actually punish her. Not even so much as a small reprimand all evening.

thickerdenwater -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 10:08:00 PM)
my thoughts are this: 1. Consider the source. From how you talk about her, shes not all the bright, very insecure, and apparenrly oblivious to the community. My guess is she hasnt really been exposed and she has senior syndrom (im older then you and i know more then you do.) 2. Laugh at her. Make fun of her. Piss her off. But dont ever let someone else who is not signifigantly apart of your life bother you. People like this just make for interesting stories and serve as an example of how NOT to act. 3. She could also be bi-polar. In which case she would not like to reveal that and he would understand. When people with bi-polar disorder are surrounded by unfamliar faces it tends to trigger something that makes them act the exact opposite as they normally would. just my thoughts on it.

dawntreader -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 10:18:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix. i feel confident there will be atleast one post stating that this is most likely normal for their dynamic and if the Master is ok with her behavior, that is all that matters. Personally, she does not seem to fit the traditional definition of slave particularly in my mind but as i am really working on not over-labeling, i think i would have had to remove myself from her vicinity. my patience and tolerance are extremely limited for the behavior you describe in ANY venue. In a vanilla setting she would be considered ill-mannered and rude, etc... Obviously, if he was brow beaten, her Master was not much of a Dominant. Anyone i have been with would have had me over their knee so fast i would not have seen it coming...

servantheart -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 10:51:00 PM)
..

SixFootMaster -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 10:54:30 PM)
~FR TO OP~ The quintessential topping from the bottom. Six.

RCdc -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 11:52:47 PM)
Depending on what she said about switches, I would have told her straight out that she should practise what she preached. And then told her that she wasn't the kind of person I wished to associate with and I would not speak to her from then on, unless I was debating her in a discussion - but certainly not on a social level. If she persisted, I would ignore her and spoken to her Master -particularly if he had been a pleasent person- he is the one who has the authority to deal with her, not me. I do not necessarily mean talk to him as in 'report' her (although if she was insulting or upset others I would tell him to his face) - just ignore her presence and speak to him. You can only teach by example. She was a bad teacher and I would have told her if I thought she was. But I certainly would not allow her attitude to affect mine. the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/2/2008 11:57:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster ~FR TO OP~ The quintessential topping from the bottom. Six. I disagree - It may be a form of negative TFTB (because tftb has a postive too) - but certainly not quitessential and name calling hardly assists and isn't productive. the.dark.

SailingBum -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 1:36:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan . What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix. It's prolly a good thing you kept your mouth shut. I would have found you as offenseive as I found her to be. BadOne

eyesopened -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 1:50:23 AM)
It's an example of why i tend to stay away from munch groups. When i was trying to learn all i could, i attended, and saw similar behavior. i began to wonder if the only 'real' submissives were the boistrous, show-offs, attention-seekers and bullies. There appeared to be no behavior that was considered unseemly for a submissive because there is always the 'in MY dynamic' to excuse everything. On the other hand, just like these message boards, one can gleen information that relates to your concepts and your needs and dismiss the rest as being irrelevent.

BitaTruble -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 1:54:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix. I absolutely believe you can have a personal, intimate M/s relationship based on whatever factors you and your partner/s agree with and still be completely and social inept. Celeste

ExSteelAgain -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 2:08:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix. I absolutely believe you can have a personal, intimate M/s relationship based on whatever factors you and your partner/s agree with and still be completely and social inept. Celeste Or, a couple could be socially suave, yet have a laughable M/s relationship. All kinds of combinations and permutations are possible. The most one could say about the situation given is that the OP didn't like the woman which is good enough since she is the one presenting the observations.

HerLord -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 2:09:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan This is something I have been tossing around in my head since the munch I attended last night. I go every month with few exceptions, know most of the folks at least by face, and almost always learn something new. I also love that under it's new management, the munch group is getting much larger, growing to include guests from out of state groups as well. Last night, there was a couple from out of town sitting one table over, and I could not help but watch them. During introductions and a couple of smoke breaks, I learned that they claim to have a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. I also learned that she has a serious distaste for, and distrust of, switches and thinks submissives are just players, that the only "real" BDSMers are Masters/Mistresses and slaves. What I observed after learning this was very interesting. Her behaviour the entire evening (even after the munch when a bunch of us went to a club for an AIDS benefit) was nothing short of appaling. I know everyone has their own way of practicing, and that titles mean different things to different people, but I have NEVER heared of an M/s dynamic where her behaviour is acceptable. She got smart with her "Master" time and time again, to the point of insulting him once, and flat our refusing simple requests such as drink refils or finding the server. She also took a nasty attitude when several of us younger folk near her began discussing switching, talking down to us and doing everything short of calling us fake. However, when someone finally got fed up with her pioty (pious-ness?) and mentioned that her bahviour was about as far from slave as she could get, she got all defensive and started listing off all the things she does that make her a "slave". Some of these were just too funny. 1-she wears leather because he wants her to (she spent all night bitching about her new leather boots!) 2-she acts as one type of pet for him when she would rather be another (but wont tell him this) 3-she does the laundry (he works, she doesn't) and 4 (the best by far) she is his slave because she says she is and we should all just leave it at that. What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix. This is, quite frankly, one of the biggest reasons My Love and I, (OK Mostly me) Do not like going to munches. There are a lot of REALLY cool people to meet, but thw whole thing leaves a taste of fakeness and nonsincerity for us. We are open to finding better places to munch, but the "scene" is limited, here in CornField, Il. I hope all get to find the places that are best suited the wants of each.

HerLord -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 2:13:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain Jack Kerouac with me as I drive a convertible cross country down a two lane road in a dirty white T-shirt. If anyone shares my Kerouac and beat generation interest (sounds like a bdsm, thing..ha), feel free to write me. Well... my self, it's Jack Daniels, two lane hwy, dirty black t-shirt, my own drum, in a Peterbuilt with 46,000 in the "back"

Level -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 2:36:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan This is something I have been tossing around in my head since the munch I attended last night. I go every month with few exceptions, know most of the folks at least by face, and almost always learn something new. I also love that under it's new management, the munch group is getting much larger, growing to include guests from out of state groups as well. Last night, there was a couple from out of town sitting one table over, and I could not help but watch them. During introductions and a couple of smoke breaks, I learned that they claim to have a 24/7 Master/slave relationship. I also learned that she has a serious distaste for, and distrust of, switches and thinks submissives are just players, that the only "real" BDSMers are Masters/Mistresses and slaves. What I observed after learning this was very interesting. Her behaviour the entire evening (even after the munch when a bunch of us went to a club for an AIDS benefit) was nothing short of appaling. I know everyone has their own way of practicing, and that titles mean different things to different people, but I have NEVER heared of an M/s dynamic where her behaviour is acceptable. She got smart with her "Master" time and time again, to the point of insulting him once, and flat our refusing simple requests such as drink refils or finding the server. She also took a nasty attitude when several of us younger folk near her began discussing switching, talking down to us and doing everything short of calling us fake. However, when someone finally got fed up with her pioty (pious-ness?) and mentioned that her bahviour was about as far from slave as she could get, she got all defensive and started listing off all the things she does that make her a "slave". Some of these were just too funny. 1-she wears leather because he wants her to (she spent all night bitching about her new leather boots!) 2-she acts as one type of pet for him when she would rather be another (but wont tell him this) 3-she does the laundry (he works, she doesn't) and 4 (the best by far) she is his slave because she says she is and we should all just leave it at that. What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this? Personally, it was all I could do to bite my tongue and hold in my Irish temper. If it wasn't for my respect for those who run the group, I would have told her how abusred she seemed to me and how what she claimed and what she did didn't quite mix. Aidan, maybe they have a Freaky Friday fetish..... seriously, they sound like goofballs. I think real master/slave relationships are extremely rare (and on bad days I believe they exist about as much as dodo birds do), and I think a lot of people twist words and concepts to suit themselves.

Rule -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 3:42:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster The quintessential topping from the bottom. I agree. I get the impression of someone wanting to live a slave fantasy and marrying a man that enables her to indulge in her fantasy.

Evility -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 4:34:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAidan I know everyone has their own way of practicing, and that titles mean different things to different people, but I have NEVER heard of an M/s dynamic where her behavior is acceptable. Obviously there is at least one M/s dynamic where this is acceptable - theirs. I wouldn't get all worked up over it. We all have opinions on the topic, including myself. There's always gonna be someone out there who does things 180 degrees removed from the way you do it or think it would be done. Life goes on. Edited for spelling -argh.

orfunboi -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 4:46:03 AM)
I would have to have a lot more information before making any kind of judgement call on the girls actions. Then I would have to have a reason to care about her actions, because it's really none of my business if she is a good slave or not. Not sure that it why it merited its own thread even. Seems kinda petty to start a thread just to rip into someone you met and didn't like.

IrishMist -> RE: I am what I claim, not what I do (3/3/2008 4:49:55 AM)
quote: What I want to know is, what do you think of a person who goes around claiming to be this devoted, 24/7 live-in collard slave with behaviour such as this I don't think anything of it. It's not MY place to define their relationship using MY own ideas and opinions. As for her attitude towards those who SHE might feel are not up to par with herself...I would have told her straight out to grow up and get a real fucking life before she started dismissing the lives of others.

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