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RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 3:01:22 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Wow that certainly told me, initially I am sorry for the spelling mistake Its part and parcal of dyslexia and lazyness. 


That would not be dyslexia, as I understand it, having a nephew who suffers from it.  Also, I wasn't trying to be snide - I was telling you the difference - I didn't assume that you knew there was one.  That's nothing to do with your post but everything to do with most of what I find on the web these days.

quote:

Secondly I find that its quite interesting to see how other peoples dynamics work and I dont see that as a negative thing, it was just an interesting topic and I enjoy to put my questions into context.


So it was your question?  Not "her" question.  Do you see how that explains a lot about that post?!?

quote:

But thanks for the slapped wrist. I shant do it again.


Good for you. 

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 3:02:20 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

I do have a serious question about permission.

What is it that makes some subs need permission? I have heard that it's about power exchange or authority exchange, but why is that so desirable? I know there are areas in my life where I need guidance, but I still wouldn't give anyone else that much power over my life. It is, after all, my life.

Am I missing something profound?

Or is this material for another thread?




Permission gives me a set boundary in which I am absolutely certain I am in compliance with Masters desire. Such makes me feel secure in my service to him. I don't have to 'guess' when I 'know'.

That said, I don't 'need' it to be of service, but it does help me go beyond surviving as his slave and in to thriving as his slave which is the long term goal.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 3:05:14 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Dyslexia as you understand it isnt what? the mis-spelling of words? the jumbling up of letters? well I could post you the educational psychologists report if you need proof? or maybe not. At the end of the day it was the question itself that was significant and I dont feel that an out and out attack on it was at all nessisary and i believe thats what it was or at least thats what I took it as. As I wrote the question it was mine in context of these boards, I dont think where it came from is relevent really simply that it is how i chose to phrase it so that it didnt come off as an annoying wank thread which wasnt its intention. But we could all wander around picking people apart for our amusemnt i guess. Whatever gets us off. 

< Message edited by colouredin -- 3/3/2008 3:06:46 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 3:20:50 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		For me i have to ask permission to use the bathroom, but only when he is here i am not going to call him at work every time i have to pee.  I am not sure if this counts but i also have to kiss him everytime i leave his side and return.  Not that it is a chore  lol.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 3:30:31 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Dyslexia as you understand it isnt what? the mis-spelling of words? the jumbling up of letters?


Confusing vein for for vain, or vane for that matter. 

quote:

At the end of the day it was the question itself that was significant . . .


Sorry that I put importance upon whether the question was asked on the behalf of someone who doesn't post here or on your own behalf.  I thought it was important (still do).  If the exact question was asked of you, it pertains to you, and no here knows the answer - short of you.   As I said, if you were asking the question on your own behalf, that makes one hell of a lot more sense.

I apologize deeply for nonconsentually correcting you in anyway. 

Have a nice day. 

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 3:38:45 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline 		Please be patient while I add on to the whole "asking permission" thing.

I am in a bit of a dilemma right now with that.  I am ordering tin ceiling tile.  Should I get his approval on the pattern, the molding and the overall price?  He's got his balls to the wall right now with 100 other things and is wiped out from other home projects.  I am quite familiar with his tastes, and I'm thinking that he'd probably be happy to be relieved of this one little decision.  It's going to cost a little more than we thought.  Hmmm, what do to ...

Maybe I'll phone him up and ask permission to go potty! 

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 5:14:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'll just mention that in authority or ultimate authority dynamics, everything is a matter of permission.  It's simply that there may be a large chunk of daily living that the master says "I give you permission to act as though you are a free agent."

Slaves can do whatever they want- as long as they have permission.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:23:42 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken
That would not be dyslexia, as I understand it, having a nephew who suffers from it. 


As someone who personally suffers from it, I can tell you dyslexia is not simply a problem with jumbling letters and numbers.  It's an issue with thought process - it affects the way we view full sentences and phrases, the way we process concepts, and sometimes our ability to select the correct words or put together phrases to describe our thoughts.  Mixing up vain, vein, vane, or any other word combination could very well be attributed to this.  It could also be attributed to basic human error when typing quickly.


quote:


Maybe I'll phone him up and ask permission to go potty! 

May I ask your point in this comment?  I am interpreting it as a mocking of those who are required to ask for their owners' permission.  Am I correct or incorrect?

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:28:44 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I'll just mention that in authority or ultimate authority dynamics, everything is a matter of permission.  It's simply that there may be a large chunk of daily living that the master says "I give you permission to act as though you are a free agent."


I don't know about "ultimate authority" stuff.  For us, it's about me being one-half of us and towing the line (bringing equal value to us) in a way that sustains us).  We are all free agents.  There is no "acting as if" in that respect.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:32:32 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

I do have a serious question about permission.

What is it that makes some subs need permission? I have heard that it's about power exchange or authority exchange, but why is that so desirable? I know there are areas in my life where I need guidance, but I still wouldn't give anyone else that much power over my life. It is, after all, my life.

Am I missing something profound?

Or is this material for another thread?




This is a fair question and one that deserves answering.  I can only answer to the best of my ability, so I don't know if it will provide you the insight you are seeking. 

First, we are all unique individuals, with different needs which make us tick.  What makes you tick...and thrive...and happy, will be different than someone else.  So, where you might see that having to ask permission to do this & that would be debilitating and stifling, others love it and find positive energy in the power and authority they receive from their owners who grant it.

Using myself as an example, I don't say "It's my life..." as you do.  In my situation, it is his life.  That's probably the key difference between how we see our relationships.  Since I see the life I live as belonging to him, I wouldn't dream of doing things to his things without checking with him first.  And it's that authority and power that feeds me, and where I most feel at home.

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:36:59 PM   
TracyTaken


Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

May I ask your point in this comment?  I am interpreting it as a mocking of those who are required to ask for their owners' permission.  Am I correct or incorrect?


You might be warm.  I really hadn't thought about it.  It's more like mocking those who think that asking permission is the ultimate expression of submissiveness.  The fact is, any "order" and the enforcing of it, is labor in itself.  Aren't slaves supposed to reduce labor?  That's my aim, to reduce labor, tension, stress, etc., but I do not identify as slave.  So maybe I don't understand.  Sometimes (very often actually) reducing labor for someone else means taking on responsibility.  I guess I conclude that someone has to be told when to pee, what to wear, what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to be - would be very high-maintenance.  That's sort of opposite of slave, isn't it?

Or possibly it's just play.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:49:30 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

May I ask your point in this comment?  I am interpreting it as a mocking of those who are required to ask for their owners' permission.  Am I correct or incorrect?


You might be warm.  I really hadn't thought about it.  It's more like mocking those who think that asking permission is the ultimate expression of submissiveness.  The fact is, any "order" and the enforcing of it, is labor in itself.  Aren't slaves supposed to reduce labor?  That's my aim, to reduce labor, tension, stress, etc., but I do not identify as slave.  So maybe I don't understand.  Sometimes (very often actually) reducing labor for someone else means taking on responsibility.  I guess I conclude that someone has to be told when to pee, what to wear, what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to be - would be very high-maintenance.  That's sort of opposite of slave, isn't it?

Or possibly it's just play.



Thanks for your honesty, Tracy.

I haven't seen (or interpreted) anyone here say they are sublier by asking permission, but if you are under that impression, you are under that impression.

Yes, as my Master's slave, he wants to enjoy me rather than spend time working on me.  But part of his enjoying me is in exercising his authority over me.  It pleases him to do that.  And he'd rather me do precisely what he wants, and not spend time correcting me, than for me to guess and go off and do something he will later have to deal with.  Nearly 4 years into this relationship, however, that's a rarity, but it used to happen quite a bit.

For us, though, it's a way that we bond and connect.  Now, I don't call him at work and ask him if I can pee, but I am on a restroom schedule.  But we feed off of each other this way.  It gives him pleasure to know that I place my world in his hands, and turn to him for permission on what to do in it.  For those things that would annoy or bug him, he gives me the authority to decide for things myself, although I am still required to tell him about it, given the significance level.

So it's not a matter of putting it out there to say "Gee, aren't I great" to everyone.  It's that I am sharing what my world looks like, recognizing that others have different ways of thriving in their worlds.  There is no "better than."  At least that is not my agenda. 

It bothers me to see such mocking, but I am curious to understand it, and to understand why.  I appreciate you putting yourself out there and explaining.  Thank you.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:55:47 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

I guess I conclude that someone has to be told when to pee, what to wear, what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to be - would be very high-maintenance.


I think there is failure in understanding this concept.  It's not about busy work or a submissive who necessarily wants to ask permission to go pee.  It's about a dominant exercising his authority in the manner he wishes and submissive yielding to it.  Yes, not all submissives would like it and not all dominants do it.  But some do and enjoy it.




_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:58:17 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		There's very little I have to ask permission for, and talking to others is specifically off the short list.
I do run things by him, often even the little things, so that he can veto them if he chooses. It's a nice reminder that he CAN veto them, even though he seldom does.

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 6:59:16 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Essentially, if we do not know for a fact that we are allowed to do something, then we are required to ask permission.  If there is any doubt that he would approve of our actions, then we have to bring it to him first before doing it.

There are some things that we are specifically directed to ask permission for.  Some of the things we have to ask permission are:

Ask questions
Give information
Express an opinion
Permission to leave his presence
Have junk food
Buy junk food for the house
Whether we can spend money
Remove certain jewelry
Wear panties
Drink alcohol
Go out whether shopping, movie, coffee, etc.
Have an orgasm

Essentially, he has authority over everything that we do.  Asking permission is one means to transfer that authority to him.  This is mostly second nature to Alandra and I now and it just seems like normal life. 

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 7:07:17 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

I guess I conclude that someone has to be told when to pee, what to wear, what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to be - would be very high-maintenance.


I think there is failure in understanding this concept.  It's not about busy work or a submissive who necessarily wants to ask permission to go pee.  It's about a dominant exercising his authority in the manner he wishes and submissive yielding to it.  Yes, not all submissives would like it and not all dominants do it.  But some do and enjoy it.





Well Katy, you summed up in once sentence what I, as usual, took paragraphs to say.

I need to learn to be more succinct! 

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 7:24:30 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I don't have to ask permission for anything. Sexual or non sexual. I want to and I do. And he is fine with it.
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

It wasnt so much a personal question more an interest in the types of things people have to ask permission for in a non sexual capacity

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 7:58:10 PM   
Sub03


Posts: 600
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TracyTaken

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

May I ask your point in this comment?  I am interpreting it as a mocking of those who are required to ask for their owners' permission.  Am I correct or incorrect?


You might be warm.  I really hadn't thought about it.  It's more like mocking those who think that asking permission is the ultimate expression of submissiveness.  The fact is, any "order" and the enforcing of it, is labor in itself.  Aren't slaves supposed to reduce labor?  That's my aim, to reduce labor, tension, stress, etc., but I do not identify as slave.  So maybe I don't understand.  Sometimes (very often actually) reducing labor for someone else means taking on responsibility.  I guess I conclude that someone has to be told when to pee, what to wear, what to do, what to say, how to say it, how to be - would be very high-maintenance.  That's sort of opposite of slave, isn't it?

Or possibly it's just play.



Isnt it wonderful that we as a community of people that essentially enjoy the same kind of dynamic in one way or another can come together and be so accepting of each other and the way we want to live that dynamic. Vanilla people dont understand us and more then likely never will, so its so nice that we can accept each other.  *cough cough* yea right

We as a community complain that we are so misunderstood by the vanilla society. That we will never be accepted or thought of as "normal." Then we come together and cant even accept each other. How do we expect other people to understand us when we cant even accept ourselves and the different ways we each interept the lifestyle? Why is it so important that one slave has to ask to pee and another slave dosent have to ask about anything she may do, from peeing to running the whole house? If the way you do it satisfies you and the way I do it satisfies me, why is it so hard to accept that both ways can work and that one isnt better or twuer then the other? I just dont understand it. I could care less what someone else has to ask permission for, or dosent have to ask permission for, it dosent affect me in any way. It's interesting to read about the different points of views but in the end I still do it that way that works for me. And everyone else does it the way that works for them. Why cant we just accept that?????

*steps off my soapbox, end of rant* sorry long day at work

_____________________________

owned by painarranger

I am His loyal slave

(in reply to TracyTaken)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 8:00:24 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

What is it that makes some subs need permission? I have heard that it's about power exchange or authority exchange, but why is that so desirable? I know there are areas in my life where I need guidance, but I still wouldn't give anyone else that much power over my life. It is, after all, my life.

Am I missing something profound?

Or is this material for another thread?


It is not a need in the sense that I am not able to make decisions on my own.  I make excellent decisions in my life; it may take me longer to make a decision than it takes him due to the different ways we process information, but I still make good decisions. 

It is a need in that I need to be an active participant in our relationship that is built around the transfer of authority from me to him.  I need to actively transfer that authority and asking permission does that.  I need to know that I am following his will and not my own.

It isn't about guidance or needing help; it is about actively engaging in a type of relationship that is highly fulfilling and enjoyable.  For me, it is no longer my life.  It is his, for me to live it as he sees fit.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Asking permission - 3/3/2008 9:02:45 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Please be careful that it does not come across as trying  apply what you believe to every one else. I don't belive it's disrespectful and neither does my Daddy Dom to speak to others with out his permission.
quote:

ORIGINAL: trusting

speaking to another Dominant/Domme without permission while collared is seen as disrespectful. would you want your Dominant to speak with other subs/slaves without your knowledge?


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 3/3/2008 9:13:49 PM >

(in reply to trusting)
Profile   Post #: 60
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