RE: Curious: why so many male doms (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 8:05:59 PM)

Okay, so who called who  " a little upstart"?

Really now.

Okay, I am done.  Off to wash the dishes and play nicely with others.



SixFootMaster -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 8:14:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Okay, so who called who  " a little upstart"?

Really now.

Okay, I am done.  Off to wash the dishes and play nicely with others.


I didn't call her one, I asked if that was honestly how she liked to be treated.

The question arose since she said "I treat people as I would like to be treated" - and to be frank, I've seen very little evidence of her treating anyone with respect, rather treating them as "little upstarts" for disagreeing with her. Be they man or woman.

A tongue in cheek poke at apparent hypocrisy.

Six.



BitaTruble -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 9:10:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

I expect a dominant - a genuine dominant, not merely someone who likes being in control or abusive - of either gender to be perfectly capable of admitting fault or error, or even keeping an open mind.


I expect that same behavior from any adult, be they dominant, slave, switch, vanilla, cookies and cream or something else.  That said, I also expect an adult who does not believe they've made an error or are actually at fault to refrain from backing down just to keep the peace and just because someone else exhibits poor behavior does not give one an excuse to return like with like. It tends to lower the value of the surrounding real estate.

Celeste



MistressDolly -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 9:43:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


"..... It tends to lower the value of the surrounding real estate."

Celeste


:)



SixFootMaster -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 9:50:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

I expect a dominant - a genuine dominant, not merely someone who likes being in control or abusive - of either gender to be perfectly capable of admitting fault or error, or even keeping an open mind.


I expect that same behavior from any adult, be they dominant, slave, switch, vanilla, cookies and cream or something else.  That said, I also expect an adult who does not believe they've made an error or are actually at fault to refrain from backing down just to keep the peace and just because someone else exhibits poor behavior does not give one an excuse to return like with like. It tends to lower the value of the surrounding real estate.

Celeste


Agreed, any adult - but dominants in particular, since it behooves us to be especially responsible, since we are the ones largely in control of a situation.

I've got no problem with someone refusing to back down, and "sticking to their guns" - so long as it stays with the topic and doesn't degenerate into puerile name calling, denigration et al. Once it reaches that point the argument is lost, it doesn't matter how good your position was to start with. I'm verbose and opinionated and quite willing to discuss something till the metaphorical cows come home. I'm also happy to mutually "agree to disagree", but only if the other person is equally willing.

I do expect people to read what I write, and not what they think I've written. For instance, I did not call Shakti an annoying little upstart, I pointed out that she has a penchance for treating people who disagree with her that way:

quote:

Sorry, buckaroo.  Equivocating is not equality.  I treat others as I would like to be treated, for the most part.  Y'all might wanna try doing the same.


quote:

You want to be treated like inferior little upstart? Or is everything I've ever seen you write not part of the "for the most part"? Lady, you exude arrogance and condescension, and your replies are often circular and prejudiced. At least I'm honest enough to admit it.


Now, I'm sure you'll agree, that's a fair enough cop. Likewise with the miscommunication issue with darkChylde, however, unlike Shakti, we were able to resolve that - and subsequently share a joke in another thread.

Personally, I have no problem with insults - I've grown up in some rough and tumble country, and nothing this board has to offer will ever match that. "Boy-dom" doesn't worry me, nor do any of the other insults she has thrown around, and it is more amusing to me that she is willing to annihilate her own reputation rather than admit that she might have been perhaps just a little bit wrong, or at least not 100% correct.

I don't treat forums as a game with a winner and a loser, it's now why I'm here, but it's patently obvious that some cannot avoid competing with their gender opposites. Still, if you're going to play a game of chess, at least know when to declare a stale-mate, and whatever you do, don't throw the bloody clock at the wall.

Six.

Edited to remove two excess "nows".



BitaTruble -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 10:30:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster



Agreed, any adult - but dominants in particular, since it behooves us to be especially responsible, since we are the ones largely in control of a situation.


Only true in a relationship where authority/control has an established parameter and completely untrue in forum communications in which all parties are equally responsible regardless of orientation and we are talking forum here, not relationship.

For example, you are not in control of the conversation in which we are now engaged. We have a mutual responsibility to ensure that the conversation stays on topic and pertinent to the discussion and are each equally responsible for our words during this conversation.

quote:

I've got no problem with someone refusing to back down, and "sticking to their guns" - so long as it stays with the topic and doesn't degenerate into puerile name calling, denigration et al. Once it reaches that point the argument is lost, it doesn't matter how good your position was to start with. I'm verbose and opinionated and quite willing to discuss something till the metaphorical cows come home. I'm also happy to mutually "agree to disagree", but only if the other person is equally willing.


Agreeing to disagree is, generally, the mature response when communications have reached a point where they are no longer productive. One need not have mutual agreement, however, to stop a conversation from taking place. One needs only to quit typing.

As for the rest of your post, I have no idea where it came from and it has nothing to do with me so I have no interest in expressing an opinion on the quotes you provided or the substance of what followed. Just a bit too much gravy for my meat, so I'll take a pass.  See what I mean about being equally responsible for the conversation and the way it flows? Now, you, of course, can choose to continue to provide quotes and keep talking about other people here and I'll just stop typing and, voila, end of conversation. Now, it doesn't seem to make much sense to do things that way as conversation via the written word is the life's blood of any forum, but, there it is and there it remains.

Celeste



Aswad -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 10:38:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster

I mean, come on now, "Gor-face"? [8|]


I actually thought that was kind of funny.

Health,
al-Aswad.




Aswad -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 10:49:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Both continued, contrary to what they told me on the other side.


Incorrect. I said that unless something interesting popped up, I would bow out of the quarrel with Shakti.

If you wish me to resend the message to you, I can do so. It is dated 2008/03/02 01:35AM.

Not to be nitpicky, but I don't like false accusations of not keeping my word.

Health,
al-Aswad.



Aswad -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 11:00:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

I made zero promises, ever, about eating shit sandwiches served by Mr. Gor-face. Or his six-foot boyfriend.


This brings back memories...

Hot Australian summer, six feet of pure steel, shit sandwhiches baked in the midday sun with cherry toppings (the real deal, not those artificial ones; jeez). Writhing nekkid bodies and passionate sex to the slow, rhytmic pounding of mad drums in the distance... iä, iä, fhthagn!

Do me now, spawn of Abhoth! [:D]

Health,
al-Aswad.




SixFootMaster -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/4/2008 11:14:23 PM)

Rising turgidly from the surging waves, the full octet of tentacles rolling snake-like across the shimmering pale sands. The beast surmounts the few obstacles to the beach, crushing deck chairs beneath it's swaying, lumbering bulk. A cry, such as no man's ears were meant to hear piercing through the throbbing of the drums, at once terrifying and arousing in the most primal of senses. Whip like, the sinuous limbs reach for it's prey - men entranced by the jungle beat, the heady scents of summer, the intoxicating taste of fecal cherry sandwiches. Men whose arms and legs entwine one another suddenly entwined with that pulsating living rope, the cords sliding over supple skin and muscle, seeking and probing. Eight tentacles subsuming eight rapturously terrified willing holes. Thrusting, writhing, penetrating yet deeper until their eyes roll back from the sheer ecstasy of it. The sweat running down the taught, corded muscles an echo of the pounding surf, itself an echo of the pounding drums, echoed in turn by the pounding, twisting, gripping limbs of the nether-giant, the great devourer!

Sadly, the memory fades... of the agonies and ecstasies summoned by the unwitting Gor fanbois who played around too much with the Mad Arab's cookbook.


SixFoot.



ObediantMan1 -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 9:30:16 AM)

lol- But the people on the Chat rooms dont realize they are trying to get a little:)  They think it is rude if you ask if anyone in the room hails from your own state....THAT would be called trolling...



SweetDommes -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 9:39:28 AM)

While you and Aswad may not have seen it, Six, there have been a number of what I would term to be "intrusions" on this board by male dominants who feel the need to put us down and treat us as if our being Dominant is invalid because we are female.   Who knows why they feel the need to do this, but some do.  As I (and I'm sure others) have also experienced this in real life as well, we get a bit defensive in return.  I do happen to agree with you that some are a bit ... overly agressive in their responses, but eh, it happens - even I do it sometimes.  I try to control it, as do most on the boards, IMO, but everyone has their days.

However, I was a bit offended by the fact that you seem to think that we need our minds opened, or that we are damaging ourselves.  You will find a number of male Dominants who post here without problems, and with only one or two (the same ones each time) who decide to take offense from what is posted - you aren't one of them because I see your attitude and feel like you think you are superior to female Dominants and that we should be grateful for your presence.  Personally, I don't care if you come here and post, but if you expect me to be grateful that you are "enlightening" me or "opening my mind" or whatever it is you think you are doing ... you're gonna be waiting a long damn time.  As for Aswad - he already knows how I feel about him, we discussed it briefly on the other side of the site.



Dnomyar -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 10:07:34 AM)

Now look at what you guys have done. The claws are out. I normaly would say calm down but Im enjoying the cat fights. I would step in the middle and ref but I don't want to get my ass beat. Im a lover not a fighter.



MisPandora -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 11:16:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Domi, we aren't "hurt", at least not more than anyone is.  If you didn't read the thread being referenced---and since it was my thread that one of our Gorean members derailed, I was up close and personal for it---then you don't know what went down.  So you think fem doms are a bunch of pissy bitches with ego problems.  Thanks for sharing.

He-said she-said arguments are pointless, but let's face it, it's not the women who start the pissing matches.  If I wasn't a tired old lady, I'd be kicking some shit myself, but I put such battles in the "teaching pigs to sing" category, and leave it to those with more energy. 

That said, RedMagic, why did SHAKTI have to back down and be less macha?  Why couldn't Aswad be the one to just STFU?  Why does a woman have to take the so-called high road, and STIFLE, as Archie Bunker said to his wife so often?  I am here to tell you that she doesn't.  *NONE OF US DO*. 

Guys, feel free to post here.  I don't care if you hate women, hate female dominants, or hate me.  This is an open forum.  But let me tell you this:  you do not have the right to silence us, or anyone else.  You do not have the right to "reprimand" anyone here--Mod 11 takes care of that nicely, thank you.  If you are a jackass, rest assured that at least one of us will call you on it, and your lame excuses for your bad behavior will *not* fly.  



Derail here ----------> (It's my post, I'll derail it if I want to :-)

I fail to understand how this thread drew out folks who feel the need to get into pissing matches with people on a computer screen -- regardless of them being male, female, top, bottom, sideways, etc.  It just shows the ass of the people drawing lines in the sand.  Show you really have some self control and go take a walk or something rather than posting!  Ignore the flamebait and it will go away.



MisPandora -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 11:18:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster
It would be really good to see that happen here. Without the overaching defensiveness.

*falls down laughing*

Um, did you hit your head while you were out at work, or are those sunglasses really rose-tinted?



LadyHugs -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 12:35:01 PM)

Dear MisPandora, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
For me personally, I look through the Master's Forum, Mistress' Forum and the General BDSM Forum the most.  I look for topics more than the gender and or role who is posting such topics.
 
For me, 'the art of mastery' is gender neutral as well as the 'art of submission.' 
 
I have seen both genders extend gracious replies, keeping on topic and very thoughtful replies.  I have also seen both genders extend nothing but personal attacks, skew the topic for the sake of controlling the thread via text inter-wars and posturing.  The last such interaction, to me--does not help explore the topic posed however, shows the ugly side of the BDSM and or community.  It really boils down to a case of 'sour grapes' and need to tear down others as to feel/look important and or their need to humiliate others--even though its in text.
 
I personally enjoy when the gentlemen among the ladies can exchange thoughts and opinions, that can lead into many other veins of topics/subjects/thoughts/ideas/creativities and or problem solving.  I am of the hope, when ladies interact in the gentlemen's forums, they will be also inspired to lead into different avenues of ideas, thoughts, creativities, opinions and or problem solving.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
 
 



LadyHugs -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 12:46:36 PM)

Dear ObediantMan1,
 
Perhaps, the issue is that the individuals in the chat rooms are not using the 'look at profile' feature in said chat rooms.
 
In another avenue of doing profile checks, is open a new window into collarme.com's home page and do a profile search in that manner as well.
 
Those new to the chat rooms are frequently assisted on how to operate these 'look at profile' features.  What becomes tiresome, are those individuals who know how to operate these features but, become too lazy to use them and repeatedly ask people where they are from and immediately pounce on new entries into the room where they are from.  I would hope that new entries to the room would at least be given a few moments to greet and catch up on the flow of the chat room, such as topics and such.
 
Perhaps you have met worse conditions and in other chat rooms.  I hope that any and all individuals entering the chat rooms supported by Collarme.com will be treated fairly.
However, please be most aware-- chat rooms draw those who just like to disrupt them.
Sometimes everybody has to pay a price for the behavior of a few--not the majority; until the mood has shifted and the one who upset the chat room is long gone, as to permit a more pleasant place to hang out and visit.
 
Personally, when I feel that the room is plain havoc and or ugly behavior is taking place--I remove myself and revisit at another time.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



xoxi -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 1:57:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster
It would be really good to see that happen here. Without the overaching defensiveness.

*falls down laughing*

Um, did you hit your head while you were out at work, or are those sunglasses really rose-tinted?


I have a dream...

SixFootKing.



ShaktiSama -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 3:11:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad
This brings back memories...
Do me now, spawn of Abhoth! [:D]


Stop it, you're making me love you, Mr. Gor-face.  [:D]





petdave -> RE: Curious: why so many male doms (3/5/2008 5:48:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SixFootMaster
Whip like, the sinuous limbs reach for it's prey - men entranced by the jungle beat, the heady scents of summer, the intoxicating taste of fecal cherry sandwiches.


You know, i'm not one who frightens easily... but now i'm really glad i haven't ventured into the Gorean forum [:-]



Page: <<   < prev  2 3 [4] 5 6   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.15625