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RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 5:57:38 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		That all makes great sense to me, but at the same time it completely saddens me.....i am of the Mommy/homemaker/slut/whore category and i honestly never expected the lifestyle (this one) to be that way.....

it saddens me because i have such a hard time having my switches flipped/twinkiecreamed whatever by vanilla swinger guys they seem to be too soft, gentle and afraid to or not wired to be alpha enough to really make an impact on me....Daddy put me on a cross at a swinger's club (who just opened their little dungeon area a few months back) and told the guys who came in that they could do anything they wanted to me and they were all kinds of chicken.....atleast a woman stepped up to the plate but still.....it started off with such promise...

Anyway....in shock and dismay i'm gonna go eat worms.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 6:35:04 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

Firm has been asked if he would ever share me... his answer was a definite "never".  While I assumed that request was for sexual contact with me, as Firm is not a sadist and I am not a masochist, I doubt he would be interested in sharing me for S/M play, either.  His mantra with regard to sharing me has been from the start, "Mine, mine, mine." 

You know... I really like that.   It's not only because I have no interest in being shared, but because a great part of D/s that thrills me is belonging to him.  His possessiveness and protectiveness of me serves to deepen my submission to him... not to mention just plain makes me warm and tingly all over. 



=swallows the worms-GULP-UGH= anyway... lol


i can really relate to your post on some level....i also crave to belong to him, to be HIS...the whole "Mine-Mine-Mine" concept i love.....in my head i take it a step in another direction by thinking, internalizing,  "since i am His he can share me, use me etc in any way he wants"....so the action of him sharing me make me feel more His.

Not sure if it makes sense.



_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 6:47:29 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		The idea of being shared is super hot to me...in theory.  In theory, I can control the people he shares me with (so they aren't gross), the ways I'm shared (so I'm not uncomfortable) etc etc...  I don't think the reality would be worth the possible consequences for us.  It's not really about submission, but my ego.  It's more about being....that thing that everybody wants.  But it's all speculation because he would never share me.  Allowing me to be a demo bottom and be touched by anyone other than him was probably as much sharing as he'll ever do.

The majority of people are taught real relationships are monogamous.  It's hard to overcome that kind of programming even if you are wired for polyamory.



_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 6:51:48 PM   
BBWnNC72


Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline 		my Dom has stated He would never share me with another man, He has the "one dick rule".  Which is fine with me, although i have had fantasies about being shared in a force fantasy situation, but in real time, i could never go through with it but i think it is because of how i see myself.

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.


(in reply to junecleaver)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 6:52:46 PM   
mrmorpheuslunar


Posts: 26
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		As I review your question(s) even the thoughts of it causes my mind to wander.  I would most certianly share - whore out - barter my subbie for - or even trade her for vegetables if the mind trail were tantalizing enough.  However I would never send her into a worm pail to pick up some assworm crack slime.  I would have to know and know of who she is being being farmed out to.  I mean if she can make me she can certainly fulfill another human, and that has got to be worth some bling or coin or something ...... right?  It all comes back to my happiness, and my happiness makes for her happiness ...... right?

I prefer it on a bdsm level not just swing.... cause it requires deeper levels of human connectivity.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

This topic may have been done before but i wanted to attempt to start anew  thread in hopes of new responses from the posters i am used toreading.

Soooo...

How many of you Dominants/Ms like to share your s types with others?
Do you like to share them sexually?
Or for Sm play only?
What do you get out of it on a relationship level when you share them?
On a sexual level?
Do you like to share with alot of people or only a very select few? 
How does it impact your relationship  positively/negatively?
Do you like to do it in a swinging context or only with other BDSM minded people?

s types? Same questions only from your point of view.



_____________________________

Mr. Morpheus Lunar is not into cyber freaks, endless x&o .... be real or be gone!

Mr. Morpheus L.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 6:54:42 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Cherry, please try not to feel bad. I honestly don't see anyone as passing judgement on you, just expressing our own thing. I should explain more my own perspective.

I can imagine sharing someone within a rather closed trusting environment. Somewhat poly I suppose. There are alot of variables I would have to consider before it ever would happen however. It would take special people to make it work. It is also not something I am looking for or have an interest in persuing. It would just have to fall into my lap and work on all levels.

I have a very good friend, a switch, that I came very close to having a relationship with. I had no problem with her being switch. I even knew she would want to sexually dominate other women. For me, knowing her as well as I do, knowing that her mindset in that, is completely different than in submitting to me, sexually and otherwise. It would be a completely different sexual experience, completely. Watching her would actually be a turn on for me.

I cannot imagine the TYPE of sharing you describe. That is just totally unimaginable to me. Doesn't mean I don't support your right to do it and enjoy it. I just cannot imagine going there.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 6:58:08 PM   
sweetwenchie


Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY

It's not only because I have no interest in being shared, but because a great part of D/s that thrills me is belonging to him.  His possessiveness and protectiveness of me serves to deepen my submission to him... not to mention just plain makes me warm and tingly all over. 



i can relate to that Treasure. The feeling of being owned by Him and Him alone excites me on so many levels. Possesivness and feelings of protectiveness towards me while avoiding the actual jealousy titillates me thoroughly.

Which is why messing with my mind about sharing me, with no intention of actually following through can be exhilirating (to me).   While deep down i might know i would never be shared, the whole "what if" mind fuck sends apprehensive shivers down my spine, gives me twinges of fear (which i LOVE), and can in general help create some fun play time.   

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to TreasureKY)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 7:17:18 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I have an std phobia-no.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 7:19:09 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Cherry, please try not to feel bad. I honestly don't see anyone as passing judgement on you, just expressing our own thing. I should explain more my own perspective.



Thank you LaT,  i wasn't feeling judged so much as the prospects for future play, looking at this thread as a cross section of opinions or mindsets, is just a bit disheartening is all.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 7:23:52 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Cherry, please try not to feel bad. I honestly don't see anyone as passing judgement on you, just expressing our own thing. I should explain more my own perspective.



Thank you LaT,  i wasn't feeling judged so much as the prospects for future play, looking at this thread as a cross section of opinions or mindsets, is just a bit disheartening is all.



I actually left my local scene years ago over issues with the swingers that a club owner invited in. They had no real interest in D/s or bdsm,or even much respect for it.

All they wanted to do was to try and have vanilla sex with my date. So they pretty much coupled boring with annoying.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 7:26:33 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		That would so totally drive me nuts!!! i can't blame you in the least.....We have gone to swinger clubs a few times,and Daddy considers us swingers BUT i don't like them so much and wouldn't be jazzed with them being at our dungeon unless they were D/s M/s wired.

_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 7:30:43 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I talked to the owner about it, and she called me  "intolerant". Basically told me and others who didn't like it that we could leave if we didn't like it. Quite a few of us did, and won't be back-not while she runs it.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 3/3/2008 7:31:04 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 7:58:40 PM   
greenearth21


Posts: 228
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		I am not the jealous type by any means but I just dont play well with others....because I dont want to. I have had such afantasy in the past and maybe even played with it, but its not something that interests me.  I do not mock or look down on anyone who finds it appealing...I can understand or atleast try to.  I just see anything "relationship"like that I do with one person , esp a dom is somethign that I want to do with that ONE person and doing it with everyone else just destroys the intimacy on many levels, for me.
I am okay with an open relationship if that is what the agreement is.

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:09:58 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

personally i do not wish nor desire to be shared, and to date have not been with someone who feels differently than i do in that regard.  Mind fucks about being shared can be fun, as long as it stays that... just a mind fuck.


My former master did the mindfuck thing with me often in a variety of ways.  One thing he did was to play on my loneliness, so when a guy would ask me out, he would tell me that I could go, but I would have to fuck them first.  He knew I didn't want to be shared, so I would just sigh and say, nevermind I'll just stay home.  His little game worked........ until it didn't.

Well I went to my first play party alone last July and met a dominant who asked me out, even though he knew I was owned.  I reported this back to my master and he laughed and placed the same stipulation on me going out with this other dominant..... I had to fuck him first.

A few days later I reported back to my master that I had done as instructed.  He was shocked and turned it against me by saying I did something selfish, blah blah blah........

Anyway, my former master's mindfuck and emotional manipulations of me backfired on him.  I am now the collared, much loved and cherished property of the man he shared me with. 

My Master doesn't share me sexually or in play.  And I am VERY happy with that arrangement.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:30:23 PM   
DragonLadysFire


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/8/2007
Status: offline 		It is fun to have toys play with each other for my pleasure, but my toys are my toys and I don't like to share.

< Message edited by DragonLadysFire -- 3/3/2008 8:34:05 PM >

_____________________________

A dragon may breathe fire, but that doesn't mean you will be burned.



(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:34:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry
it saddens me because i have such a hard time having my switches flipped/twinkiecreamed whatever by vanilla swinger guys they seem to be too soft, gentle and afraid to or not wired to be alpha enough to really make an impact on me....Daddy put me on a cross at a swinger's club (who just opened their little dungeon area a few months back) and told the guys who came in that they could do anything they wanted to me and they were all kinds of chicken.....atleast a woman stepped up to the plate but still.....it started off with such promise...

Well I hope you recognize it's because the swinger community forces things to be like that- single males are hardly ever tolerated, and if they are, they are almost always highly suspicious until they become regulars.  Women are the ones in charge.  Couples have power because the woman has accepted the male.

Partly due to paranoia about sexual harassment and such, but it's also just the swinger culture in general. 

If you want the tough and rough guys, try going to a club that specializes solely in gang bangs, which is harder to find.

And this also happens in the scene, just more subtly.  A single male, dom or sub, is regarded with suspicion and it's much easier if they are either accompanied with a female or call themselves a sub.  And I think we can all imagine a few "alpha doms" who really are nothing but glorified cocks who have a bevy of chicks stroking their egos but have no real lasting respect.

quote:


Anyway....in shock and dismay i'm gonna go eat worms.

I'm sorry you're in shock and dismay- this is just culture dynamics.  It also might help to understand that the reason people seek sub cultures is because they don't fit into the mainstream.  If they fit in well with those dynamics all the time, they'd never have need or desire to go elsewhere.  Sub cultures are made up of people who feel in at least one serious way in their lives that they would never be accepted or cherished or anything like that- think of what sorts of personalities and defenses that is likely to breed.

And above all, we are still people.  We still want to create norms and rules to feel safe wherever we go.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:44:56 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		And which is another reason that we have things Like Gor.

A group that doesn't WANT to be ruled by women.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:47:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
And which is another reason that we have things Like Gor.

A group that doesn't WANT to be ruled by women.

Actually I think gay males have goreans over on this ten times.  I have yet to see a male gorean last two years without a female around. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:49:33 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist
And which is another reason that we have things Like Gor.

A group that doesn't WANT to be ruled by women.

Actually I think gay males have goreans over on this ten times.  I have yet to see a male gorean last two years without a female around. 


But gays don't need a woman, obviously. And they do have the advantage of being able to understand each other.  At the same time, I do notice a tendency for the bdsm crowd to drive off males who refuse to kow tow to the females. Most of them just go private with a girl they like-and avoid the bullshit and politics. I've seen this happen many many times over the past fifteen years.

< Message edited by Leatherist -- 3/3/2008 8:51:21 PM >

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Sharing - 3/3/2008 8:55:27 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddyncherry

=swallows the worms-GULP-UGH= anyway... lol

i can really relate to your post on some level....i also crave to belong to him, to be HIS...the whole "Mine-Mine-Mine" concept i love.....in my head i take it a step in another direction by thinking, internalizing,  "since i am His he can share me, use me etc in any way he wants"....so the action of him sharing me make me feel more His.

Not sure if it makes sense.


Eeewwww... worms. 

It does make perfect sense, cherry.  I might even agree with you that his sharing me would be evidence of my belonging to him.  However, when I think about my own possessions... especially my most prized ones... well, I just don't loan them out.  I have every right to, of course, because they are mine.  But because I value them and care about how they are treated and wish them to remain unspoiled, they don't leave my possession.  If I do own something that I don't mind being borrowed, it's usually because it's an item I don't place much value on, that I have no real attachment to, or that I can easily replace.

Of course, this all sounds very selfish, and perhaps it is... but then again, other than FirmhandKY (who is welcome to anything of mine) there aren't many people that I care for or trust enough to share with.    I do recognize that for others (and myself on rare occasions in the past), there can be great joy found in sharing something valued with someone special.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetwenchie

i can relate to that Treasure. The feeling of being owned by Him and Him alone excites me on so many levels. Possesivness and feelings of protectiveness towards me while avoiding the actual jealousy titillates me thoroughly.

Which is why messing with my mind about sharing me, with no intention of actually following through can be exhilirating (to me).   While deep down i might know i would never be shared, the whole "what if" mind fuck sends apprehensive shivers down my spine, gives me twinges of fear (which i LOVE), and can in general help create some fun play time.  


Though I don't find the same kind of enjoyment from "mind-fucks", I can understand that, sweetwenchie.  While Firm does not share me, he is not the jealous type; we have discussed possibilities for play with others at some point in the future and it hasn't been completely ruled out.  I doubt it would ever happen without my complete willingness and agreement, but keeping that option open does provide some measure of titillation. 

(in reply to daddyncherry)
Profile   Post #: 80
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