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RE: Real vs Ideal: Should we compromise? - 10/4/2005 5:33:20 AM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPurrmeow

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus.
How much do we expect our fantasies to play into our real lives? Should we figure it's all hooey, and settle for whatever we can get, or is it possible to get what we really want?


I see two different questions here. Real vs. Ideal? I'll take REAL every time. I have my fantastical view of what the "ideal" would be, but if I ran across a person who was REAL, as in thoroughly self-aware, openly communicative, completely honest and totally grounded... well, that would just be too good to turn down. "Ideal fantasies" would go right out the window. Why? Because a person who is that REAL, IS my ideal. My ideal isn't rooted in a particular act or fetish, it's about the integrity of the individual and situation involved.

The second question is about settling. If I accept REAL, and let go of my fantastical dreams of perfect service and submission, am I settling, or accepting? I think accepting reality has no negative connotation. Accepting reality is about realizing that which can be and IS real, here, and available to you. "Settling" on the other hand is about giving up the search with much less than the original goal.

The only time I hear the word "settle" between my ears is when I get burned out and don't want to invest any more energy into the search or the lifestyle. For me, I "settle" for taking time away in order to renew my energy. If I were to "accept the reality", then the reality is simply that I'm burnt out, not that I'm done with the lifestyle. The same would hold true for meeting people.

Did that answer either question, or did I just confuse myself more? :-)



I like you Purr.

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Real vs Ideal: Should we compromise? - 10/4/2005 5:34:34 AM   
pollux


Posts: 657
Joined: 7/26/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

The serfs don't rebel in my fantasy. I mean, wouldn't the fantasy suck if you had to deal with rebellious serfs?

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia

And of course slightly better paid servants... I would hate to deal with a rebellion... -heavy sigh-




Well... I actually have a dream about owning my own island and staffing it with kinky folks that have been approved for citizenship. So everyone on my island is a happy, functional, D/s minded person.

But I also dream of kidnapping elves and young wizards...

I'm thinking the first one has a better chance of happening.



Nope. Second one.

< Message edited by pollux -- 10/4/2005 5:35:10 AM >

(in reply to MadameDahlia)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Real vs Ideal: Should we compromise? - 10/4/2005 10:02:44 AM   
Foibey


Posts: 54
Joined: 5/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

We've all got fantasies. We've all got expectations. Some of them are more important than others. How much do we expect our fantasies to play into our real lives? Should we figure it's all hooey, and settle for whatever we can get, or is it possible to get what we really want?



I'm rather glad to leave some of my better fantasies as fantasies, as if they were actually played out, apart from the lengthy prison sentance and/or sectioning I'd feel incredibly guilty (I die in a few of them, and just from a logistical standpoint that means I could only feasibly act out one of them even if I actually did want to die and decided on going out with a bang so to speak). On the other hand stuff which I'm capable of doing without seriously harming (which I mean in a slightly more abstract sense than it just being about physical damage) myself or other people I'd be happy to go for as long as I could find someone else who was interested and the circumstances were right. I guess that's always been the thing fo me and I don't really see anything "hooey" about any of it (even things that I are either entirely impractical or too dangerous). They're all real and valid within their own context. I don't need to bottle them up inside at all or make compromises with the "real world" about them. IMHO, embracing them and enjoying what you can about them whilst recognising the limitations on what you can do is key.

< Message edited by Foibey -- 10/4/2005 10:18:31 AM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 43
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