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RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 10:52:27 AM   
jenf


Posts: 45
Joined: 12/26/2007
Status: offline 		i admitted that i was jealous to my master, and this was His reply:
"Its OK  that you're jealous, it makes Me feel wanted, but it is even more OK, that you obey Me even when you dont agree, that makes Me feel powerful....and I feed off of that and that is what enables Me to be the Man  you want to serve."
i loved that reply, and i hope it helps you too.


(in reply to LordVelvet)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 10:53:31 AM   
joy2u


Posts: 89
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luvm

i am wondering where jealousy fits into this M/s relationship.

It doesn't.  It fits into the experience of being human.  Where humans are involved, human emotions will be involved, some positive and some not so positive. 

quote:

We also swing and sometimes possesiveness consumes me...how do i deal with it...Jealousy stems from insecurity from my research....

You can't control what you feel, but you can control how you react to the way you feel.  You can let it eat at you and let it cut into the good feelings that you have with the other people in your life.  Or, you can use it to learn more about yourself and what you need and how to have more fulfilling relationships. 
 
You can pay attention to what, specifically, is triggering your feelings of jealousy and possessiveness.  Are you worried that the other person might have something more special with your SO and that your SO might decide to leave you because of that? 
 
Figuring out what is causing you to feel jealous is important to being able to know how to deal with it.  Maybe you don't really want to be involved in a swinging relationship, but you haven't admitted it.  Maybe you just go along with swinging because you're afraid that if you don't your SO will end the relationship with you.  These are things that you need to figure out and, then you can decide what to do about it.

quote:

how can swinging and bdsm mix?

Swinging is one thing and BDSM is another.  Many couples enjoy swinging who don't have any interest in BDSM.  Just like there are many people who enjoy BDSM without any interest in swinging.  And, then, there are those who enjoy both. 
 
Swinging and BDSM can mix quite well together, when the people in the relationship have wants and needs and interests that fit together well.  It also helps to keep the lines of honest communication open.
 
Understanding what is important to you and what you enjoy and want and need in a relationship and, then being with a person (or persons) who enjoy the same things and whose wants and needs fit with yours is a good start to getting the 'mix' that works well for you.
 
joy
Owned servant of Master David

< Message edited by joy2u -- 3/5/2008 11:00:30 AM >

(in reply to luvm)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 10:53:37 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordVelvet

OK Yours is BIGGER but Your straight . I guess I am following You. I will find to find a 12-Step Group to help Me.
LordVelvet


12 steps?   wow.... slow learner   lol

just kidding..but I love your honest opinion in mine beeing bigger


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to LordVelvet)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 11:00:16 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Not slow just aim for perfection LOL. I was talking about Your number, pervert.
LordVelvet

_____________________________

It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not - Van Zant

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 11:08:00 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jenf

i admitted that i was jealous to my master, and this was His reply:
"Its OK  that you're jealous, it makes Me feel wanted, but it is even more OK, that you obey Me even when you dont agree, that makes Me feel powerful....and I feed off of that and that is what enables Me to be the Man  you want to serve."
i loved that reply, and i hope it helps you too.




and that made it really go away? (wel propably depends on the reason of beeing jealous)


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to jenf)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 11:32:39 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah i wouldnt have thought that would get rid of the jealousy just make it easier to pretend that it isnt there. 

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 1:33:39 PM   
ToHonorObey


Posts: 15
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

   I know from my experience sometimes no matter how hard you try to show your love and or your  sincere interest in that particular  person, if their demons/insecurities  that haunt them are not being addressed ,then  sadly your efforts are never going to matter.
how does a person with an extreme anger management problem and a history of commiting illegal violent acts of assault and battery upon those she "loves" while using lies to cover up her misdeeds get off on suggesting that her failure to sustain a meaningful relationship is the result of the other persons faults while blatantly denying the existence of her own demons by means of her own immense hypocrisy?

< Message edited by ToHonorObey -- 3/5/2008 1:37:13 PM >

(in reply to candisa)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 1:47:53 PM   
ToHonorObey


Posts: 15
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candisa



I tend to agree with you on the needs are not being met. I know from my experience sometimes no matter how hard you try to show your love and or your  sincere interest in that particular  person, if their demons/insecurities  that haunt them are not being addressed ,then  sadly your efforts are never going to matter.
  obviously, if a person can completely lose her temper and begin battering another person's face, obviously this person is suffering with a serious insecurity with being able to resolve an issue in a civilized, loving manner

(in reply to candisa)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 4:57:20 PM   
luvm


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		ty..so sweet and real....

(in reply to masterfixer)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 5:00:36 PM   
luvm


Posts: 8
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		You have coolest non-commital responses.....;)

(in reply to MissSCD)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 5:35:54 PM   
daddyncherry


Posts: 656
Joined: 10/9/2007
Status: offline 		i've struggled alot with this in the past and what i am learning over the past year as that i can just surrender to the fact that i cannot control someone, anyone, especially my Daddy so if that is true, even of past vanilla relationships then what will the jealousy do besides eat me alive inside?!.....

The only time i think i would still have issues is if someone else were getting things from him or with him that i wouold kill or die for and yet can't have....With my ex it was dancing....if he would've danced with someone it would've flipped me inside out....So if my Daddy did things with another that he denys me i wouldn't handle that the best, or i wouldn't feel the best about it, i'd handle it but it would kill something inside of me.


_____________________________

Hugs,
cherry

Walking through life, and fear with a smile on my face.
Walking directly through the eye of the hurricane...and through to the other side..without fear....realizing everything will be okay. :)

being obedient 1day at a time

(in reply to luvm)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 7:29:09 PM   
manwholuvs


Posts: 30
Joined: 1/1/2008
Status: offline 		candisa your point is right on for when those demons/insecurities are in play, their vision and mind are fogged and they cannot see past them.  It is unfortunate indeed for often times if they could see the other side they may very well find the answer that would rid them of those issues.  For those who love and are there for them, it is a struggle as well.  We want to be there for them and do all that we can yet often times our efforts are never truely seen for what they are.  I know this from first hand experience and have had to find ways to go on as we cannot make anyone love us.  To be loved one has to first be open to being loved and to want to love in return

_____________________________

Respectfully
Manwholuvs

(in reply to candisa)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 8:03:04 PM   
thefirst121


Posts: 28
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		jealousy is just an emotion no more or less, therefore it exists whether in a Nilla or D/s relationship depending on the person.  As a Master I have freely shared My sub with guests and had these Masters share with Me.  I have no issue in this regard as I am My subs only concern and she does this to please Me.  I do know most of the time she gets into it completely and enjoys showing off to her Sir.
 
she on the other hand can get jealous at times, but always knows her Sir has her by His side at the end of the day and has no plans to replace her.  she does not consider herself as bisexual but is completely involved in f/f action when she is given for the purpose.  It is the trust and the knowledge she is doing it for Me, she claims is the reason she enjoys it.
 
So as you see it fits in with the lifestyle as long as we communicate with each other and show it will not change our relationships
 
Sir K

(in reply to luvm)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 8:53:25 PM   
trusting


Posts: 144
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline 		i have been long over being insecure with myself... i would never put myself in the position to see my mate with another. if He were not happy with me and me alone, we would never work out.

_____________________________

"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." -Malcolm Forbes

(in reply to luvm)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 9:13:50 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luvm

i am wondering where jealousy fits into this M/s relationship.We also swing and sometimes possesiveness consumes me...how do i deal with it...Jealousy stems from insecurity from my research....how can swinging and bdsm mix?
simple case of know thyself......why am I jealous??...am I someone who is of a more monogamal nature or a poly nature??..Is this jealousy a new issue or an ongoing issue?..have I always been jealous??.....know thyself...Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to luvm)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: jealousy - 3/5/2008 10:13:50 PM   
candisa


Posts: 127
Joined: 1/7/2008
Status: offline 		greetings Manwholuvs,
I agree, well said. Thank you

_____________________________

respectfully,
candisa

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will
To love or not; in this we stand or fall.



(in reply to manwholuvs)
Profile   Post #: 36
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