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Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 7:31:58 PM   
need2bused6


Posts: 49
Joined: 2/2/2008
Status: offline 		As I have mentioned I am new to this board and my experience with a Domme has been some what limited.  What is the proper way to address a Domme the normal respectful manor aside?  I have seen many different ways in posts with spelling differences.  I was trained to use Domme.  Every Mistress I am sure has a preference and replying to an e-mail is hard trying to figure out the proper title and spelling.  Are there basic rules that are ok to use then be corrected if not liked? I guess
I want a cliff note version of How to address a Domme for dummies.


_____________________________

“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 7:41:46 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		Perhaps this is more a reflection on my intent, meaning that i seek nothing more than friendship; but when i send a message to a dominant woman (or anyone else here) i address them precisely how they present themselves (more specifically, their screen name) without any honorific.

In the real world, i ask their name and how they wish to be addressed; and if they desire to be addressed with an honorific, i seek a compromise between that desire and the limits imposed by my relationship with my Dominant.  Generally, we can settle on "Lady" as "Ma'am" is reserved for my Dominant and i prefer not to use "Mistress" for several reasons.  Just as often, simply calling a dominant woman by name satisfies all obligations.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 3/4/2008 7:43:48 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to need2bused6)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 7:49:40 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Short answer:  there is no "right" way that applies to everyone.  I often think the safest thing to do if sending private messages is to address them "Dear (insert full handle correctly spelled)", and then proceed from there.  A woman whose handle is "Mistress Molly" probably will not be offended if you call her "Mistress Molly".  Other women may not like to be called "mistress" by a man they do not know.

Other things I have heard:  "Miss" and "Ma'am", "Goddess", "Mistress".  Again, these things are not universal "correct" things and may not work for an individual woman.  I do not get upset about them because I always assume that people mean well.  But generally if you have never met a woman before, you should not call her "Goddess" unless she has "Goddess" in her handle.

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to darchChylde)
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RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 8:00:53 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I will warn you now about the dreaded "ma'am".  People have been addressing me as "ma'am since I grew breasts.  I always thought of it as a courtesy.  Now, I hear many young women being hugely offended by being ma'amed, saying it's an affront to their youth!

I am not a female supremacist, and anyone who starts off calling me "goddess" or some such is going to get the hairy eyeball.  "Miss" is pretty safe, and you can be brave and ASK for a good form of address.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 8:16:27 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		I’m going to second Lady Hibiscus on being very careful using ma’am.

I personally always liked Dear/Hi/Hello Screen Name. Followed by something they liked in my profile, asking a question and telling me a little about them. I always found being called goddess, mistress or domme a little odd since I don’t know them at all. I like to start as a more equal relationship in the early conversations.

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"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
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RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 8:16:35 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: need2bused6

As I have mentioned I am new to this board and my experience with a Domme has been some what limited. What is the proper way to address a Domme the normal respectful manor aside? I have seen many different ways in posts with spelling differences. I was trained to use Domme. Every Mistress I am sure has a preference and replying to an e-mail is hard trying to figure out the proper title and spelling. Are there basic rules that are ok to use then be corrected if not liked? I guess
I want a cliff note version of How to address a Domme for dummies.



When in doubt, politely ask. That is most proper—be it Master or Mistress.

(in reply to need2bused6)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 8:46:41 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		pronouns pronouns pronouns!

don't say hello ma'am, mistress, goddess, princess...

say "hello, pleased to meet you"

and if you care to play internet games, capitalize the Y~

(in reply to need2bused6)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 8:58:48 PM   
DianeB269


Posts: 1596
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		Just don't call me ma'am, I hate that..


Diane

(in reply to need2bused6)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 9:53:03 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DianeB269

Just don't call me ma'am, I hate that..


Diane


Yes Ma'am.

Oops.

Aw fuck it.

Oops.

Nevermind.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DianeB269)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 9:55:16 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet


Yes Ma'am.

Oops.

Aw fuck it.

Oops.

Nevermind.

chia* (the pet)

lol

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m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e


(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:01:15 PM   
darchChylde


Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline 		"Hey you fucking bitch!!!"  Generally doesn't work.

< Message edited by darchChylde -- 3/4/2008 10:03:40 PM >

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to MistressDolly)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:12:13 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		lol not the post i expected from you

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:22:10 PM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		I like "grand poobah" a lot. 

Seriously, I don't really care what people call me as long as it isn't rude or inappropriately familiar. 

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:31:43 PM   
SixFootMaster


Posts: 829
Joined: 9/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

"Hey you fucking bitch!!!"  Generally doesn't work.



Ooooooh....


Six,


_____________________________

How-so oft fresh injurious deed
Doth turn Janus' petulant gaze
'pon the rocks and storm rift sea
And littered wood of broken days
disregard for toil shown
no ground broken, no seed sewn.

(in reply to darchChylde)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:34:06 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		I prefer to be addressed as 'Oh Great and wise one, Mistress of all Mistress', Goddess of all Goddess', Maam, Madam, Lady of the lake, Ms, Miss, Divine and heavenly creature, holder of the key to all chastity belts and despoiler of virgin subs' 

But failing that ...
Dear\hi\hello  twisted or twistedwillow will do.

As most of the others have said there is no right or wrong way to address someone, and imo, as far as it goes, I'm just a bunch of words on a screen you owe me no alliegance or respect etc, however common curtesy is always appreciated.

regards,

Oh Great and wise one, Mistress of all Mistress', Goddess of all Goddess', maam, Madam, Lady of the lake, Ms, Miss, divine and heavenly creature, holder of the key to all chastity belts and despoiler of virgin subs

aka

twisted


_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:48:45 PM   
MissHarlet


Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline 		I prefer MissHarlet .. or MissH .. for that is my " name" here .. I strongly object to being addressed as Mistress as I dont own them ... or even know them most of the time .. and being addressed by strangers as Goddess just makes me laugh or irritates me beyond belief depending on my mood .. but neither impresses me enough to wish to get to know the author of the email

Now Supreme Goddes of the Universe that oversees all other Universes might at least get my attention lol

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/4/2008 10:51:35 PM   
hopelesslyInvo


Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline 		how about one domme to rule them all, one domme to find them, one domme to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them?  +shift key action

(in reply to MissHarlet)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/5/2008 12:22:05 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I totally agree, do not assume as that tends to make "an ass out of u and me"! It is far safer to go with their screen name, after all, that's what THEY chose to be known as here ... so, for eg, you would address Me as Maam Jay. I'm one who likes Ma'am and hates Miss so don't go there! Once the first hellos are done, if you are someone I want to correspond further with, I will explain how you are to address Me and the rationale for that, and when it might be allowed to change (to something more intimate in relationship terms such as Mistress or my Lady). I will also explain how I wish you to refer to Master and why. Easy!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]
Oh ... and if you are a sub approaching Me as a Domme ... DON'T use my sub name of violet ... only He who collared me uses that in a bdsm sense!

_____________________________

Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/5/2008 12:29:55 AM   
chezzy52


Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		I normally refer to any Domina by their screen name.Then i ask if they prefer a certain form of address.

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Proper way to Address a Mistress - 3/5/2008 3:56:19 AM   
Goddess2002


Posts: 226
Joined: 2/29/2008
Status: offline 		Actually, being from the South, I enjoy the use of the term Ma'am. I was brought up saying it as a form of respect, so I find it acceptable.

Conversely, I do not tolerate being called "Mistress" by anyone other than my slave.

I agree with Amayos...it's most appropriate to politely ask if you're not sure.


(in reply to chezzy52)
Profile   Post #: 20
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