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RE: NO - 3/5/2008 4:45:07 PM   
RedHotAndSoSexy


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		There is a difference in what I would say no to if involved in a long term situation or someone new. Obviously, or hopefully so, within the context of a long term thing, the Dom would pretty much know my limits and interests. I probably would only say no if it was a major limits thing or something that would damage me physically or emotionally.

Sometimes, I have said no to things I actually WANTED to do, simply because the ramifications were problematic.

(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: NO - 3/5/2008 6:18:44 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

In nearly 4 years I haven't said no to him yet and I can not foresee ever saying it.

It's just not part of our arrangement for me to say no.  And like Daddysprop mentioned, that isn't always easy but Master helps me deal with it, when necessary.  This isn't just about sexual or physical activities, either, but life decisions, as well.

I can say ALMOST the same.  It's been 2 not 4 years for us and also applies to "life decisions," not just sexual or physical ones.  However, I CAN envision saying "no."  I hope I never do and that it never becomes necessary but there ARE some things I WOULD say "no" to.  Master knew about those before I ever became His property.  I was assured He had no interest in those certain things either so there would never be a need to say "no" to them.  I honestly feel this is the way it is for most people.  One doesn't usually become the property of someone they are in no way compatible with, whatever that entails.  Those things were discussed in the very beginning and were not an obstacle in our path.  Can't see them ever being or me ever needing to say the dreaded "no."...............................luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: NO - 3/5/2008 6:33:56 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline 		If he wants something, he gets it.  My answer yes or no is irrelevant to the outcome.  I've never been asked to do something I was 100% against and I can't imagine anything I would be 100% against that he'd ask me to do.




_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: NO - 3/5/2008 6:53:44 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

What is your number one reason for saying no to your Dom when it comes to sexual acts within a well established long term relationship with no end in sight?


Brain tumor? Dementia?  I can't imagine any sexual act that Himself would require that garners any sort of approval or disapproval from me much less having the option to just say no.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: NO - 3/5/2008 7:54:04 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		My  male sub has said no to me only when he has been to sick to play. We have the same hard limits and have been together for a number of years, I can count the times he has said No, twice in the entire time that we've been together.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 12:26:57 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		I do not get into a long term relationship or continue a long term relationship where 'no' becomes a regular occurance.
Pretty simple really.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 1:43:43 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I've only said "no" once. It's a "no" I hold on to and has nothing to do with what he and I do sexually with each other, but with what we might do sexually with other people.

I won't go down on someone I don't know.

I won't do this for two reasons. The first one obviously is safety. Generally, no one is willing to use a condom and I'm not willing to do anything without one.

The second reason is kinda weird. I can do pretty much anything else, but I won't do that because for some reason, their scent repels me. This isn't just someone now and then. So far, it's all people. I don't understand it really. The act itself is a wonderful wonderful thing when it's between my Master and myself. But with someone else? I get close and it's.... well, it's something I steer very clear of. I don't know, maybe it's the intimacy involved in that act. I consider this to be very very intimate. Either way, it's the only thing I've ever said "no" to.

I used to feel guilty and try to overcome my reluctance. Finally one day he told me he was glad I didn't want to do this and that he absolutely didn't want me to be doing it. I've taken him at his word.

But other than this, I do hate to use the "n-word" (no).

juliet




< Message edited by julietsierra -- 3/6/2008 1:46:29 AM >

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 2:12:23 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		i learned that if i wait until i "feel like it" i would miss out on a lot of life's adventures, so i simply measure things by their likely consequence.  That's why i don't do things like steal, lie, tailgate, or go skydiving.  If Master wanted to have sex while committing a robbery, or by lying to me, or while tailgaiting in heavy traffic or while skydiving, i might say 'No'.  But Master and i discussed our limits, our life and relationship goals before i begged His collar.

If Master changes His mind about something, i have every confidence that He would talk to me beforehand.  i used to say that sex during a funeral would be inappropriate, but i don't think i would say "no" but rather something like, "okay, but could we find some place more private?"

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 2:38:37 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		My girl says no all of the bloody time.  With real anger and/or a sense of panic.  However, she does this with no expectation of me actually listening to her, and when I *do* listen, it bugs her.  Trying to train her not to say no unless it's actually meant has not been successful so far, and she can never remember a safeword. 

I'd say offhand that her reason for saying 'no' is because it adds to her feeling of powerlessness, and puts her in subspace that much more quickly.  The downside is that I have to go slower and be much more careful in how I raise the intensity; it's a damned nuisance when I'm feeling out her limits or trying something new.  But for established play it's become useful. 

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 5:57:01 AM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's fine.

You can't spend the rest of your life sleeping with one eye open-no matter how macho you are.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 7:39:43 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I have not said no to Master in the 2 years we have been together.  Right now i am suffering from the flu and Master knew i was not up to playing yesterday.  So he just played a computer  game and we watched some tv and he rubbed my back.  I would not have said no if he pressed, but he don't want to push me while i am sick.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 7:43:42 AM   
SinergyNstrumpet


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

What is your number one reason for saying no to your Dom when it comes to sexual acts within a well established long term relationship with no end in sight?


I do not say "no". The reason he stops is if I am in pain. I do communicate if I am in pain, and he has never failed to stop when I have communicated this to him. He also can sense if I am not feeling well, he usually doesn't request sex if I am not well. If I am very ill he doesn't go there. This means I have never had occasion to tell him "no".

~Sinergy's strumpet~

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 8:01:20 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		As of yet, I have not said no to my Mistress, though I also can envision it. There are some limits I have that we may try to work through, in which case I suppose it will be a 'not yet.'

_____________________________

I am stronger than yesterday

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 8:52:08 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

...I am assuming that in allmost every relationship there is a point where you have to say no because it just plain goes to far...


"too far" is an evaluation Master makes, not His slave.
 
in our relationship, this slave does not inhibit Master's use of His slave by way of "limits" or by the use of the word "no", and it has been that way for over 4 years now.


(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 9:19:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Because I am emotionally not up to it. If forced to do stuff when I honestly can't, my anxiety disorder kicks in and I will have panic attacks. No fun at all. If I can do something I will, but if I can't then please respect that. I have found of late that we've pretty much identified all the emotional trigger points, so nowadays when I beg off it seems to be the day before I get sick. The next day the cold or stomach bug symptoms hit, the emotional comes a day ahead.

It isn't embarrassment, it's either physical or emotional distress. And length of relationship has nothing to do with a virus, or a flashback.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Evility)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 9:26:10 AM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

..... I won't go down on someone I don't know......


.... I can do pretty much anything else, but I won't do that because for some reason, their scent repels me.......
juliet



Surprisingly I have found this to be incredibly common amongst both men and woman.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 9:36:33 AM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i learned that if i wait until i "feel like it" i would miss out on a lot of life's adventures, so i simply measure things by their likely consequence. 


My sub is exacly like this and comes from a prety strict background.  I use to have to remind her and still do on a rare ocasion that if forgets the word No she can enjoy life and she totaly agrees with me on this. As a result her No's are ignored or involve punishment to a degree.  I know her limits and keep inside of them so to speak but I do get concerned about it.  

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 2:54:04 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		I've said no a few times.
  1. When I am recovering from an illness or surgery and my body isn't quite ready yet.
  2. When he has to get up early and what he wants to do is several hours worth of play started way too late. When you are flying at 7 am and have to get up at 4 am, starting play on the cross at 12 am is not the best use of time
  3. When he has been sick (I have said no to his going into work, getting out of bed or refusing to see the doctor)
  4. When a flashback takes over.
  5. If I have information that Master does not have regarding something we are doing e.g. someones recent sexual escapades that could affect us.

poenkitten ( who knows No is not always a negative thing if it is said right)

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 3/6/2008 2:56:54 PM >

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: NO - 3/6/2008 6:14:18 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FRSguy

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

..... I won't go down on someone I don't know......


.... I can do pretty much anything else, but I won't do that because for some reason, their scent repels me.......
juliet



Surprisingly I have found this to be incredibly common amongst both men and woman.


Really?!

That's actually a nice thought. I just used to beat myself up because in some groups, I got the feeling that I was rather "anti-social." It didn't matter though. I tried. I just couldn't. (Meaning if I actually did attempt to get close, I'd be gagging - and that's kind of a big mood-killer.)

juliet

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: NO - 3/7/2008 8:27:20 AM   
Daddyslilpookie


Posts: 498
Joined: 3/3/2008
From: OC, California
Status: offline 		My Master is the one to say no, not me if I say no to him that would make me plain disobedient. I have never said no to him, there is no need to.

_____________________________

Princess Andie


"A Woman Loves Only Her Master"

(in reply to FRSguy)
Profile   Post #: 40
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