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BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 6:43:03 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		I have a question for anyone that wishes to respond to it.  I have been working on an article off and on for some time now on the issue of BDSM Organics.  What I mean by organic is what we originally came to the BDSM world for.  The organic desires we had before we met others like us and began to be affected by that influence.

In my opinion, there are a number of issues that affect us in this regard that I would like to hear about.

Doing play that we like but may not be “popular” in the groups we run. How does it affect us?

What are the issues of finding styles of play that may make us more attractive to a Dominant\submissive person, but has little organic connection to us?

The simple issue of a dominant\submissive giving up on his\her organic needs due to not being able to find someone with the same needs.  Is this a valid thing to do?

The issue of a Dominant’s\sub missive’s self in holding to something they want organically but losing to keep a relationship safe.  What are the issues surrounding this?

I want to take a non judgmental position here. As I have done some to all of the things above at different times.  I would love to share and hear about these issues.  

Thanks in Advance

< Message edited by Kinbakudayo -- 3/5/2008 6:44:50 PM >
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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 7:15:04 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kinbakudayo
Doing play that we like but may not be “popular” in the groups we run. How does it affect us?

Do you mean us as in myself and my partners?  Or us in the larger psuedo community sense?
quote:


What are the issues of finding styles of play that may make us more attractive to a Dominant\submissive person, but has little organic connection to us?

Uhhh no issues with me.  It's an issue if someone does this because they aren't being true to themselves- they care more about "being with someone" than "being in a mutually fulfilling relationship."
quote:


The simple issue of a dominant\submissive giving up on his\her organic needs due to not being able to find someone with the same needs.  Is this a valid thing to do?

It's their choice, so it's valid.  I've never seen it really work out well for those involved though.
quote:


The issue of a Dominant’s\sub missive’s self in holding to something they want organically but losing to keep a relationship safe.  What are the issues surrounding this?

Same as any relationship- how great is the want for that thing and how strong is the relationship and fulfillment of those involved?
quote:


I want to take a non judgmental position here. As I have done some to all of the things above at different times.  I would love to share and hear about these issues.  

Thanks in Advance

Why be non judgemental?  Making judgements is a fabulous thing for responsible mature perceptive adults to do.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 7:35:19 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Damn.  I thought this was going to be about collars and restraints made out of hemp -- something I could really use right about now.  That cowhide and neoprene just ain't where it's at.  I'm jumpstarting my shibari next week, for sure.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 8:33:00 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Hehe we can of course talk shibari if you wish :)  Thats my most organic of subjects but I might bore you :)


< Message edited by Kinbakudayo -- 3/5/2008 8:43:04 PM >

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 8:41:46 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline
"Do you mean us as in myself and my partners?  Or us in the larger psuedo community sense?"

Yes I do mean as to yourself. But it would be interesting if you had an insight to if this kind of thing hurts a community?

"Uhhh no issues with me.  It's an issue if someone does this because they aren't being true to themselves- they care more about "being with someone" than "being in a mutually fulfilling relationship.""

Now this is interesting to me,  How do you see this? As a weakness or as a compromise?  I am speculating here, but does being a dominant women make a difference  for you as from what I have seen Male submissives tend to have a harder time finding someone?

"Why be non judgemental?  Making judgements is a fabulous thing for responsible mature perceptive adults to do. "

Honestly I would prefer to stay clinical on subject I think it allows more people to add to the disscusion. 




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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 8:42:20 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I actually bought a Shibari for Dummies book because I got an idea for a magic show routine.  Either a lady ties me up or I tie her up, fully clothed but with PG sexual overtones -- and after sufficient drama, the ropes melt away and the tied one is free.  Kinky but feminist -- would play strong to a vanilla audience.  But to make up the fake knots I need to know how to make the real ones.  Anyway -- pleasant surprise -- turns out my lady friend is all chocolate and ponies about being shibari'd.

So yeah.  Let's talk shibari.  Any suggestions to AllThumbsDom about the first steps to take with a closet ropeslut?


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 8:47:06 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Sure I have lots of Ideas,  But first I have to ask... Do you want something quick ? Do you want something artistic?  There are several ways to look at this.  Give me an idea what you want to get and I wil try to steer you to the best thing I know.  

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 8:54:48 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Okay, I perved you, and you seem to know what you're talking about... not always a guarantee here, let me tell you.

I own Shibari You Can Use, by Lee Harrington. 

My lady friend enjoys being restrained.  She is a petite Asian, and her breasts are small.  She has an athletic body and is fairly supple.  I think what she would enjoy most is (1) some kind of tie like a rope corset that she could wear under street clothes, and then we could go out to dinner together; and (2) a way to be immobile, and yet I could take her from behind.

I know how to cut ropes up and then restore them.  I don't know crap about shibari.

Edited to add: she likes being photographed, so artistic is kewl, though undoubtedly behind my current skill level.


< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 3/5/2008 8:55:34 PM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Kinbakudayo)
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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:01:15 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		It's easy, you just put it out there and wait for a bitch as sick as you to snap up the bait.

It ain't rocket science, Sherlock.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:07:27 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Thats not a bad book at all.  But first we must look at the materials you wish to use.   There are two styles of shibari and they both work better if you have good rope.  I wouldnt make my own I would get Japanese hemp that is made for bondage.... so how do you get that without going to Japan? 

Try this guy out
http://www.ricksuave.com/essentials.html

His rope is from a decent grade Japanese supplier you will not go wrong with it.

You want to get the 5-6 millimeter 8 Meter long rope.  I know she is small and you want to go under cloths but resist the urger to go with 4 mil rope it can do damage fast in pressure points.

You can use silk rope for shibari but it slips a lot, I would use this hemp if you can.

Master K is going to have a how to in his new book soon that will help you as well.  But the book you have will work well with the right rope.

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:09:56 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I currently own 5 meters of  China-made "Japanese Silk Love Rope", sold by Topco Sales.  Your opinion, please?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:19:14 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		I am not a big fan of slk rope.

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:28:57 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		I have been doing a lot of research and discussion about rope bondage, and the most common consensus I have found is hemp is the way to go. Try looking here...

http://www.twistedmonk.com/

kat

_____________________________

The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
-Anon.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewcomersOK/


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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:29:08 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		I get that, but what's the category here?  Is it dangerous for a novice to use, or just inartistic?  The practical question is: should I wait to tie her up until I have hemp in my hands?

Edited because I quoted myself instead of someone who knows something.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:33:11 PM   
probablyknowme


Posts: 1875
Joined: 9/19/2007
Status: offline 		I would say no...silk rope is going to slide more than hemp, so it might make it harder to work with, but if you can do ties with it, then working with hemp will be much easier. You might also check out the KnottyBoys on YouTube, they have oodles of how to videos there. I think there might even be a corset how to...it's pretty straight forward and one of the easier tie to do.

_____________________________

The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
-Anon.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NewcomersOK/


(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:36:40 PM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		You could just know the rope will slip.  I wouldnt make it too tight or near a danger spot 

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/5/2008 9:52:59 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks to both of you.  I'm going to bed.  And, Kinba -- she'd probably enjoy no-face bondage pic swapping.  Your could laugh at my bad work.  Message me on the other side if you're interested.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Kinbakudayo)
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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/6/2008 8:44:56 AM   
Kinbakudayo


Posts: 68
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Tell you what,
I will put a couple pictures of work I have done with K for you on my profile.  Provided it can get past the censors. 

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/6/2008 8:52:20 AM   
Action


Posts: 260
Joined: 8/19/2005
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I commend and look forward to seeing more on this thread

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The only ones for me are the mad ones....who burn burn burn like fabulous roman candles. -Jack Kerouac

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RE: BDSM Organics - 3/6/2008 9:01:30 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Not everyone you need will be into every exact thing you are. But unless you have a true, clinical fetish, I doubt that with compromise and communication it will be impossible to get enough of your needs met. And for those with authentic fetishes, that's when you start calling your neighborhood professional who will indulge wearing latex and doc martins even in summer if you pay enough to make it worthwhile.

For me? I'm into bondage and spankings. He had some time earlier so I got a spanking. If he doesn't have to work too late, I may get tied up later. If not, then next week when he's done with his present project. We're compatible as people. We like each other and enjoy making each other happy, just like lovers usually do, so I know that if I really feel a need he'll try damn hard to make the time. Just like I'll try to get into it even when I'm not in the mood to begin with, if it's something he really needs that day. If we're both getting over a cold, it gets tabled till we feel better and we commiserate on what a shame that we're sick.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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