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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 7:56:13 AM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		I generally have given them the benefit of the doubt and sit and have a cup of coffee, then sent a nice email when I return home, explaining that it wasn't going to work b/c I just didn't feel the chemistry, or something like that.  They may figure it's b/c they lied about themselves, but it's my job to correct their behavior - it's not worth the effort to me.

There was one guy that I met who seemed very professional, intelligent, friendly, etc. and I agreed to a rather quick meeting, after talking only for a couple of days.  He intrigued me.  He wound up coming for coffee dressed in pretty ratty sweatpants and a paint-spattered t-shirt, explaining that he had been doing work on the house.  Turned me completely off. 

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:00:16 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		~FR

There was a fairly recent thread about how old our profile pics are, doesn't anyone remember what it's called? I'd try to find it, but (full and honest disclosure) my head is too busy making mucus right now. Attractive, ain't I?

I would not be able to be rude. I would converse and maybe have some adult beverages if they're available and try to salvage the meeting with some humor or something. There would be a safe call so if desperate I might use it to leave, which would happen if we couldn't talk (and the silence was more painful than a root canal sans anesthesia), not because of physical appearance.

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Maya2001)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:02:43 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Let's say you decide you are ready to meet that special someone you have been in communication with for the last (1, 10, 100 days, time doesn't matter) and when you arrive the person greeting you is no where near how they portrayed themselves to be?  Do you just turn on your heels and leave? Do you extend them the courtesy of staying, and if so do you bring up the fact that they said they were 25 and it's now obvious they aren't?  In general how would/did you handle this if it were to/ever did happen to you? 

Have you ever met someone who may not have lied but your fantasy image of them was so vivid and different you could not get over the disappointment? 



no. the reason why this has never happened to me is because i would never hold such high expectations towards a person i had never seen or touched. if i know someone online only, no matter if we've communicated over a few months or a few years, there's always that uncertainty present, and i never forget that in "real life" they may be something entirely different than the image they portray to me online.

so, because i have no expectations, i would not be disappointed by a first meeting. at worst it may simply be a lesson learned (if the person turns out to have been dishonest), and at best i may have found a genuine friend.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:02:47 AM   
SinergyNstrumpet


Posts: 305
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		Most men that I have met lied about their height. I have never understood this to be honest. I can say that a woman who is 5 foot 1 or 2 may not notice a man lying about their height by an inch or two, but if a guy tells me they are 6 foot, and I meet them and they are shorter than me, I am going to notice right away

What did I do about this? Continue on with the date for about an hour, and then leave never to email or return their calls again. I do not like liars.

~Sinergy's strumpet~


< Message edited by SinergyNstrumpet -- 3/6/2008 8:03:04 AM >

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:03:39 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Have you ever met someone who may not have lied but your fantasy image of them was so vivid and different you could not get over the disappointment? 



What if there were so much better than you expected and you still felt they were being deceitful.  Would you still get all bent out of shape like some of the other poster did???

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 3/6/2008 8:08:57 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:06:06 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Over the years online, different websites, etc. I have managed to meet quite a few people from the net. Once without ever seeing a photo, just having a description of how to recognise her. I didn't mind that at all. Why? Because, like Merc has said, I don't expect anything other than, meeting someone.

There are several ladies that frequent these boards, Subtee and Lauren, that live rather near me, in the whole scope of the internet thing. I hope to meet both of them someday rather soon. Not as uberDomme and slave/sub, but as aquaintances that might become friends. Neither one of them, do I care what they weigh, what colour their hair currently is, etc etc etc..... I only care that they seem to be delightful people that I would enjoy getting to know.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:06:58 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Yes, disappointed many times. They have turned up to have rotten teeth, weighing more or less than they claimed, lots of nonsense like cheapskateness also almost although they were on a date budget.  They looked nothing like their picture.

What to do about it? I have both walked away as to not waste time or hoped they do not contact me again.  If so, I tell them right off as soon as I am home not to bother. Looks do matter. uhggg.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:07:18 AM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		Warning - long post.

Many years ago (before the Web), I was a secretary. I kept getting calls at work from an employment agent looking to place people in our office. He had a very sexy, dreamy voice, and I had to keep the phone calls to a minimum. Then he started calling at my lunch-time, so we could talk longer. He said he loved my voice, too. He was intelligent and humorous, and we never ran out of things to talk about. Finally, after several weeks, he suggested dinner and a Charlie Chaplin film festival. i accepted.

Dissolve to the restaurant. I enter and tell the hostess I am supposed to meet someone there. She points to a man who steps up, extends a hand, and says, "Beth?" Well, we had never described ourselves to each other. So he had not told me about the coke-bottle-bottom glasses. That wouldn't have put me off, however. It was the wrinkled shirt almost-but-not-quite tucked into pants that should have had a belt but didn't; it was the leather shoes that had never seen a polish. I stayed - out of politeness and out of a lack of knowing what else to do. He talked a mile a minute, and if I closed my eyes, I could see the Harrison Ford lookalike I had pictured. He kept talking even as he was eating. Even when he wasn't talking, his mouth was open. Oh, yes, he appeared to have a breathing problem and had to breathe (rather noisily) through his mouth.

Thank goodness the rest of the night was in a movie theater. I think he had noticed that I couldn't keep my eyes on him in the restaurant, because he didn't try to put his arm around me or anything. We said good-bye in the parking lot, and that was that. He never called again, not even in a "business" capacity. Which was OK as we weren't hiring anyway.

Ever since then I have, out of respect for the other person's sensibilities, been honest about my appearance and my disabilities. I don't like unpleasant surprises.

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:13:44 AM   
RedHotAndSoSexy


Posts: 67
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		I have met quite a few men online who lied about their looks, having posted and sent older photos of themselves. Worse than that, I have met men who apparently had ghostwriters; because their writing far surpassed their ability to form sentences once in my presence and they literally had nothing to say during our lunch, dinner, drinks.

Then when they would call me for a second date, they wondered why I declined their offers.

(in reply to SubbieOnWheels)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:14:47 AM   
Hotch


Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		If you want to take the highest road, tell them the reason you're leaving is because you can't begin a relationhisp where lies are already present.  The lie is the deal breaker, not what you  physically see before you.

The liar has proven themselves to be 1. A liar and 2. Too insecure to give an honest discription.

As far as dress, my honey met me for the first time without doing anything to make herself up.  She later explained, if I was gonna judge her on that, she didn't want to be with me.  Pretty wise on her part I thought.

< Message edited by Hotch -- 3/6/2008 8:18:24 AM >

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:21:11 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SinergyNstrumpet

Most men that I have met lied about their height. I have never understood this to be honest. I can say that a woman who is 5 foot 1 or 2 may not notice a man lying about their height by an inch or two, but if a guy tells me they are 6 foot, and I meet them and they are shorter than me, I am going to notice right away

What did I do about this? Continue on with the date for about an hour, and then leave never to email or return their calls again. I do not like liars.

~Sinergy's strumpet~



I have to laff All the women I have met at various get together have lied about their wieght.  The owner of the bbs bulletin board service used to joke that he should automatically add 20% to the girls weight profiles.  He claimed that would be much more accurate LOL.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to SinergyNstrumpet)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:26:21 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		I have never lied about my weight but thats cos i have no clue how much i weigh which is apparently a big deal? I guess I can understand the mentality behind lying about that though, normally cos we dont like to admit to ourselves how much we weigh. As if someone told me they were 5"5 and 11stone i wouldnt have a clue what their body shape would be like or anything I have no clue what stones look like in reality. I far prefer general thin, average, carrying a bit of weight, fat, morbidly fat



_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:32:15 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

I have never lied about my weight but thats cos i have no clue how much i weigh which is apparently a big deal? I guess I can understand the mentality behind lying about that though, normally cos we dont like to admit to ourselves how much we weigh. As if someone told me they were 5"5 and 11stone i wouldnt have a clue what their body shape would be like or anything I have no clue what stones look like in reality. I far prefer general thin, average, carrying a bit of weight, fat, morbidly fat




I aint buying it!  You know full and well weather or not your thin, average, fat or huge.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:33:34 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Oh i know my dress size, and i know that im average not fat not thin but i dunno in like measurable terms

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:36:37 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I have to laff All the women I have met at various get together have lied about their wieght.  The owner of the bbs bulletin board service used to joke that he should automatically add 20% to the girls weight profiles.  He claimed that would be much more accurate LOL.


Add 5 years to their stated age, add 50 pounds, and subtract 3 inches height from the men. If the 1975 station wagon in the background of their picture looks brand new, it probably was when the pic was taken.

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:39:12 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

If you want to take the highest road, tell them the reason you're leaving is because you can't begin a relationhisp where lies are already present.  The lie is the deal breaker, not what you  physically see before you.

The liar has proven themselves to be 1. A liar and 2. Too insecure to give an honest discription.

As far as dress, my honey met me for the first time without doing anything to make herself up.  She later explained, if I was gonna judge her on that, she didn't want to be with me.  Pretty wise on her part I thought.



Yes.....VERY wise on her part.
I don't have a pic in my profile but I do make one available if I feel it could go somewhere.  I'm not the Hunchback or anything, but I am honest about the fact that I'm BBW and that I have foot problems. I have no reason to lie. Others, however, seem to have no problem guilding the lily when it comes to height/weight/amount of hair and other physical stuff.  My response....get over yourself because I have!   Really, I have a problem w/a Dom who is so insecure with himself that he can't be honest to me. It doesn't bode well for instilling trust.

BTW.....I had one man say he was dissappointed because I was smaller than what he thought I would be, given that I used the description bbw.  Just goes to show that you should never assume.

(in reply to Hotch)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:42:20 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hotch

As far as dress, my honey met me for the first time without doing anything to make herself up.  She later explained, if I was gonna judge her on that, she didn't want to be with me.  Pretty wise on her part I thought.


Gosh i couldnt do that, I think that probably is my own insecurity more than anything but i need to have made an effort to feel confidence. I always say doesnt matter what you have just make the most of it, I love doing myself up though and its part of the process of meeting someone/going on a date etc for me, its what gets me in the mind set, some days i like to just do myself up to sit in and watch the telly just cos i know it instantly improves my mood.


_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to Hotch)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:42:28 AM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		I'm wanting to meet youse guys too, same reasons! We will.

The fact that you're both sexy, smart, very cool women is already common knowledge. Let's face it, Iowa women rock, no?

Meet, meet meet!

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:43:58 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I have to laff All the women I have met at various get together have lied about their wieght.  The owner of the bbs bulletin board service used to joke that he should automatically add 20% to the girls weight profiles.  He claimed that would be much more accurate LOL.


Add 5 years to their stated age, add 50 pounds, and subtract 3 inches height from the men. If the 1975 station wagon in the background of their picture looks brand new, it probably was when the pic was taken.

Cali



Yep that was my point. I suppose you could ask rightly so.  Who is NOT lieing!  Waits for ppl to get all defensive n stuff.  smirk

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 8:46:10 AM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Depends on the differance, if its an out and out lie (i once met someone who was deaf but hadnt told me, now I have no problem with the fact that he was deaf I had a huge problem with not being told) I will leave.


Whoa!  There is a big difference between lying, and not disclosing something.  If you didn't ask, his/her failure to disclose being deaf is not a lie.  And even if you asked whether the person has any disabilities, a "no" answer is not a lie, in my view, since many, if not all people who are deaf do not consider it a disability at all. 

I think you did have a problem with him/her being deaf.  And that attitude is probably why it wasn't disclosed right away.  The deaf person probably just wanted a chance to meet you and to be judged as a person, and not just for being deaf.  Instead of being told that you would not meet him/her because of a knee-jerk reaction of, "Ewww, I don't want to be with a deaf person!"

Dan

(in reply to colouredin)
Profile   Post #: 40
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