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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 10:42:48 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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fast reply

my photos never lie - what you see here is what you'll meet in person.

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 10:44:53 AM

YourhandMyAss

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Hell I'm not obligated, even if they DO buy the meal and I'd make that clear up front before we even went on the date.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

NEVER allow them to buy the meal. Refuse any gifts as "inappropriate at this time". This way you are not obligated in any way shape for form and can part with a clear conscience

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 10:49:14 AM

Dnomyar

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If your going to feel obligated about anything then why even show up. Adjust your attitude.

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 11:05:10 AM

GreedyTop

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quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

Hell I'm not obligated, even if they DO buy the meal and I'd make that clear up front before we even went on the date.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
NEVER allow them to buy the meal. Refuse any gifts as "inappropriate at this time". This way you are not obligated in any way shape for form and can part with a clear conscience

hear hear!

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 11:10:36 AM

LadyPact

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I'll skip the 'special someone' part, because it doesn't apply to Me.

I'm going to split some hairs here, since there was some confusion in some of the other replies. I'm going with My first instinct that the person obviously misled you with their information (certainly not 25), and basically did lie to you. In that instance, I would absolutely greet them, tell them it's apparent that they were not honest about the information they gave Me, wish them the best of luck, and I would leave. I don't care to waste My time wondering or investigating what else they lie about. For those who think that's rude, it's My opinion that it is also rude to arrange a meet under false pretenses.

If I did misread the OP, and it's more a case of where it was a mental image that the person created for themselves, then I would stay. It certainly isn't the other person's fault that I conjured something up in My head that was less than accurate. I probably would remind Myself of My role of the disappointed expectation, but the other person wouldn't be to blame. Even if there wasn't great chemisty, I'd stay, enjoy dinner, discussion, etc. Whether a second meet would be considered would depend on the time spent.

It's reasons such as these that I keep My photo on the site updated about every three months, if not more often. I want anyone I'm meeting to know exactly what to expect when I arrive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

Let's say you decide you are ready to meet that special someone you have been in communication with for the last (1, 10, 100 days, time doesn't matter) and when you arrive the person greeting you is no where near how they portrayed themselves to be? Do you just turn on your heels and leave? Do you extend them the courtesy of staying, and if so do you bring up the fact that they said they were 25 and it's now obvious they aren't? In general how would/did you handle this if it were to/ever did happen to you?

Have you ever met someone who may not have lied but your fantasy image of them was so vivid and different you could not get over the disappointment?

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 11:34:35 AM

Mastersplitlicke

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I would make sure that the person know well how much I do not like being lied to.

Public, private, would not matter they would hear about it

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 11:50:31 AM

AtlantaMistress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum
Yep that was my point. I suppose you could ask rightly so. Who is NOT lieing! Waits for ppl to get all defensive n stuff. smirk

BadOne

I'm not :) Add a few grey hairs to my pic (and dammit, a few developing laughlines around my eyes), and that's me.
I've never seen the need to hide who I am.. I figure if I'm going to meet people they'll see it when we meet.
I'm the same person online as I am offline.
.

That is pretty much who I am tho I've not met anyone online for about 10 - 12 years or so. I just found it real interesting that some of the posters came across with the holier than tho crapola that lieing was a deal breaker. Once the posts turned to age height weight "they got quiet". I found it amuseing in the extemeis.

BadOne

OK - I am one of those "holier than thou" where lieing is a deal breaker...but check out my profile/journals - all pictures are recent, and I wrote a journal about turning 39. I never hide who I am. I am ME. I like ME. If anyone doesn't...well, to be a lady, I will just say - their loss. I am far from perfect...but I do not lie, and I will give you a list of my "flaws" -some, I am working on, because they bother me (want to quit smoking), others, I am fine with - they bother others, but not me.

Actually, I think the best D/s relationships are because you are able to share a side of you that is "secret" that you can't share with just anyone. If you start off without being open about the little things, how can you possibly open up about the bigger ones?

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 11:57:24 AM

Volcano

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Misrepresented pictures were much more common, taken 15 pounds ago, or 15 years; concerning because its not a good way to start a relationship based upon trust, but it never generated an instant "see you later!"

Hmm, come to think of it, my profile pics were taken about 45 pounds ago. I guess that would be a problem for a lot of women here.

Does it make a difference that I have *lost* 45 pounds since those pics were taken?

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:02:10 PM

SubbieOnWheels

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BadOne, this thread isn't very old. Perhaps those who have been quiet have other things to do?

I agree with those who say that lying is a hard limit. I don't mean shaving a few numbers from one's weight, or fudging the age a bit (why doesn't CM update your age on your birthday like other sites do?), but a man who says he is athletic/fit and then puffs into the restaurant with Dunlap syndrome*, well, that's lying. I need an able-bodied partner, not someone who's going to have a heart attack if I fall and he tries to help me up, so fitness is a requirement for me.

IMO it's never a good idea to lie, either overtly or by omission, about a disability. The other person is going to find out sooner or later, and if they are put off by the disability, too bad for them. They will miss the inside of the package.

*Dunlap syndrome - the belly dun lap over the belt.

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Post #: 69

RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:05:35 PM

subtee

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Not dogging on anyone, but is "lieing" uh, British? Or Dutch? Afrikaans?

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:12:52 PM

colouredin

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lol To be honest i think the weight shit is my fault and i dont care about it, my photo was taken a few months ago

im 5"2 (short ass dont care)
my top is size 12 and my bottom is 14 (yeah i feel big but curves are good)
im not a natural red head, i have a shit mousy brown colour
I have bright red cheeks like traffic lights
I have terrible stretch marks and cellulite

I have yet to meet someone who said that i dont look like my pic :D

Hows that for honesty

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:31:37 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Not dogging on anyone, but is "lieing" uh, British? Or Dutch? Afrikaans?

Yet another of the red pencil crowd. There everywhere I tell ya. Ya and they think it's

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:34:07 PM

SubbieOnWheels

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Not dogging on anyone, but is "lieing" uh, British? Or Dutch? Afrikaans?

Yet another of the red pencil crowd. There everywhere I tell ya. Ya and they think it's

And we think it's WHAT????

(Actually, I stopped correcting people. It annoys them. I just sit and grind my teeth; that only annoys me and my dentist.)

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:36:04 PM

subtee

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No! Okay, I may be a red penciler, but I was asking in earnest. Should have googled, but I saw it from more than one poster, so I thought, you know, maybe it's me.

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:39:51 PM

akisha

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Kind of an offshoot but it still along the same lines.

I met a gent from on here, we had talked for a few weeks, even talked face to face on webcam so we knew what we looked like and everything, no suprises. When we met in person there was no suprises when it came to appearance or intelligence or anything like that. But I never saw hime again and only talked to him a couple more times.

I'm a firm believer in instincts and in how one persons aura reacts with another person. This man, Dominant, was a very nice man, a very articulate man and he was everything he said he was, but when we were face to face I got absolutely no "vibe" from him. It was like standing beside a brick wall. I was not attracted nor was I unattracted to him. There was just nothing.

I felt bad because how do you explain something like that?? IT sounds like BS, I know it does, but it is what it is.

Yes he was everything he said he was and everything i thought he was, but because i got no "feeling" from him at all, i was not interested in presuing a relationship beyond friendship with him.

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:40:20 PM

xxblushesxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SubbieOnWheels

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Yet another of the red pencil crowd. There everywhere I tell ya. Ya and they think it's

And we think it's WHAT????

*LOLOL*!!!!
I always picture someone typing away, and then some unexpected encounter or tragedy occurs...they have just enough strength to hit the 'send' button. It's noble I tell ya...
Ya gotta hand it to SB, at least he got that last post in...
*ducks and runs away from the sailing dude*

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 12:48:05 PM

tsatske

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I don't think lying has to be a given. I know that people do it. My personal rule is I believe anything anyone tells me online (So you are the president of the US? That's pretty cool) as long as I have nothing invested in that belief. As soon as I start investing - money, time, emotion, care, whatever - I get more cynical.
I know people can only be honest to a certain degree. If he has a habit (my brother-in-law, this is my sister's example) of pulling his arm hairs out while he chats with you, and you find this an annoying, disgusting deal breaker - it's not so much a matter of lying as, it just isn't something that is going to come up online. There are things you will think are 'important' that didn't get mentioned.
Actively lying is a whole other ball game. But, really, before I called the 40 year old that told me he was 25 a lying, I'd laugh and make a joke and ask to see his licence. I have had friends who are grey and 'Dunlap' at 25, and, no, they don't look 25.
I am careful to tell people to truth about anything that might be a deal breaker. Why waste thier time and mine? In my opinion, anyone who does that has a self-esteem problem, in that, clearly, they don't believe that anyone out there would want them just as they are.
My pucture is very real. Before Master posted my pic up here, when I was single, I could not get CM to accept my pic for posting (no idea what I was doing wrong), so I simply sent it with first communication, every time. My real weight is on my profile. If weight is a deal breaker for you, no problem, you know up front and can save yourself the time and trouble. Whenever meeting a new friend for possible dating, play, whatever, I discuss the fact that I am mentally ill before we ever meet. That's a deal breaker for many, and everyone has a right to thier limits and prefrences. As I said, I always believed that I was a wonderful and beautiful slave and that there would be plenty out there who would like me as I was, so why lie and waste everyone's time?

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 1:01:46 PM

Missokyst

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I would never walk out. What a rude thing to do. What if they caught your eye and decided to turn and walk away? Dang, I would have been happier thinking they were too cowardly to show, rather than they saw me and thought, ICK. I could not imagine being that rude to anyone.

As for them not being as they stated, well.. I think many people are oblivious to other peoples opinion of what they look like. Many men I meet in the course of running a list will state, good looking, fit, 5'11" .. da da da. And when you meet them they have clearly not used a measuring stick since they were in high school, or that good looking to them means a beard with food traces from last week still lingering. Or that yes they do still wear a size 32 pant, but that the measurement is well below the beer belly.

I am devastatingly honest in my opinion of how I look, to the point of near self loathing. Then I have to back up a bit and recognize that men like me so my views must be skewed. Thankfully I am now able to do that. But most people are not masochists with insecurity issues. Most people have an above average view of themselves, which rocks for them. Even though it may disappoint someones overly anxious expectations of them.

I like to see people as more than the flesh bags that hold them. They are ideas, personality, intellect and humor, and when they show me that, it is amazing how their appearance changes in my eyes.
Kyst

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 3/6/2008 1:12:19 PM >

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 1:12:12 PM

SailingBum

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I would never walk out. What a rude thing to do. What if they caught your eye and decided to turn and walk away? Dang, I would have been happier thinking they were too cowardly to show, rather than they saw me and though ICK. I could not imagine being that rude to anyone.

LOL I forgot all about this, Ages ago 2400 baud. The setting was she was going to be at this bar anywho so I told her I might stop by. I forget most of the details... how I was a supposed pick her out... but it was a ick moment. When I talked to her again it was like something came up.

BadOne

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RE: Meet or Leave? - 3/6/2008 1:17:03 PM

Missokyst

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I have had a few ICK moments. But I don't see people as dom, or sub when I meet them. I don't meet them with expectations of being intimate with them. So for me, meeting them is no big deal. If they look like quasimoto, or brad pitt, its all the same to me. If after that meeting we click, great. If not, then it isn't a matter of something suddenly coming up. We just didn't click and I can tell them that if pressed.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I would never walk out. What a rude thing to do. What if they caught your eye and decided to turn and walk away? Dang, I would have been happier thinking they were too cowardly to show, rather than they saw me and though ICK. I could not imagine being that rude to anyone.

LOL I forgot all about this, Ages ago 2400 baud. The setting was she was going to be at this bar anywho so I told her I might stop by. I forget most of the details... how I was a supposed pick her out... but it was a ick moment. When I talked to her again it was like something came up.

BadOne

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