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RE: Collars & Rings - 9/24/2005 11:27:34 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		congrats

I have been married to my first slave since june of 1990 (alandraofmists). Our relationship started out very much as a very traditional relatioship.. you know man king of castle and all that... but we had the kinky play in the bedroom. I have stopped wearing my ring from the marriage relationship some time ago. For both of us... the the husband/wife relationship has stopped having any real meaning and is actually a role that is required in the mainstream world. In some ways... the husband/wife relationship was always a role.... we are a poly relationship and even before we became devoted to each other.. poly was a possibility and even a dream. I still remember the exact words my girl said to me that raised the whole concept of poly in our life "someday I will share you". I do wear a ring.. but it is my Master's ring... I think the symbolism of the ring is important... but not neccessarily that of marriage. Do ring and collar go together.... well guess it depends on the symbolism you talking about. For me.. they both are symbolising the same thing.. Master/slave relationship. My first girl has a ring/collar/lock... my second will recieve a ring when she has the lock on her collar.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/24/2005 11:45:47 AM   
Halifaxslave


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/16/2005
Status: offline 		Marriage is the opium of the masses

Just kidding, I am with Emeraldslave on the topic of marriage. However I have been looking at the round steel collar that can be locked or screw/glued for long term ownership and I think a wedding band being locked on to one of these collars so it can't be removed and is right up there in your face would be a wicked idea.

At work we have open collars and one has a V notch that would be cool for a wedding band. Then again, one of my married co-workers sometimes just wears her leather "SLAVE" (metal letters) collar

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/24/2005 10:45:51 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Good luck Faramir! I hope you and SMS have a great life together. Only a lucky very few in this entire world find both a great marriage partner and a good Sub in the same person. You are a lucky guy.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 12:51:04 AM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline 		Many congrats to you and yours ;-)
My sub and I are married. Being a Pagan married to a Christian looking at poly, who were married in a Christian church, but not by a Minister (ok that’s a long story and this is so not the place to go into it LOL) we have both rings and she has a collar.
Symbols mean what you wish them to mean. As long as you and she are happy with them it’s all good.
Tony

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 11:49:41 AM   
SirKnottynNice


Posts: 51
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: My mind to Y/yours
Status: offline 		Well first off, Congrats!!

I can see how the ring and collar can go hand in hand in a D/s dynamic, however I don't see that being so in a "poly" type relationship.

I would marry the one I collar, if that is what W/we both wanted in O/our TPE LTR.

Now one thing though,
I believe that 'alone' the collar has a stronger meaning and bond than a ring.
I say this because, a "Wife" can remove her ring, and file for divorce if she feels unhappy, or things didn't go as she had expected/wanted.

A "sub/slave/pet" cannot just remove her collar, or file for divorce, or break up just because things didn't go her way.
She has three choices...
1. deal with it, (for she is willing to put up with just about anything for her owner)
2. Ask to be released from her collar/contract (if a "contract" is in place)
3. Wait for Hin to release her, if He feels it isn't working out.

That being said, IMO, a collar & a ring together is probably the strongest bond, And if the D/s dynamic happens to not work out, the married couple can agree to remove the collar and still have thier vanilla relationship.

Be well

_____________________________

your ass would look cute red


(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 12:07:00 PM   
girl4you2


Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline 		congratulations to you both

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 12:31:28 PM   
MsPurrmeow


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline
When I married about a deacde ago, we had a commitment ceremony with rings. We wrote our own vows. To an outsider that knew BDSM, it would have sounded like a collaring ceremony. When he received his collar a few years later, he simply repeated the same vows and they were perfect. At times when his collar was not appropriate, he would state that his ring would never leave his hand, and the commitment was meant forever regardless of which he was wearing.

You can make anything you want of the vows. The only difference between the two is that for one, you need a legal witness and a marriage license. Otherwise they are the same thing, an opportunity to commit to whatever you two plan on committing to. Weddings and marriages don't have to be a big deal. Both the marriage and the wedding in my case, were in a front room with witnesses that were part of us.

and contrary to previous posts, both are similarly dissolvable. A "slave" regardless of contract or collar can walk away just as easily (much easier actually) than one with whom you have signed a marriage license application. The strength of either commitment is in the bold determination to live up to what you have promised each other.

P.S. Write your own vows and make them mean what YOU want them to mean. What is considered "traditional" wedding vows is only called that because someone decided to start calling them "traditional." What a sales pitch.

Purr


(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 1:45:07 PM   
Hallittlelolita


Posts: 253
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations Faramir best wishes to You both

Sincerely andie and her Master Hal

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 2:16:10 PM   
preciousflower


Posts: 8
Joined: 8/21/2005
Status: offline 		Congrats and good luck Faramir and SMS!

as for myself, i don't think i would feel anymore committed to my Master by wearing a ring. i have His collar, He has my heart.

speaking from a "vanilla" point of view, i've worn a ring before.....i took it off very easily and without regrets when i felt the relationship wasn't going as i thought it should. part of that could be because i was never in a D/s relationship with the man i was married to.

speaking from a submissive point of view, i would never want to take my collar off.

(in reply to MsPurrmeow)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 2:27:01 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

Now one thing though,
I believe that 'alone' the collar has a stronger meaning and bond than a ring.
I say this because, a "Wife" can remove her ring, and file for divorce if she feels unhappy, or things didn't go as she had expected/wanted.

A "sub/slave/pet" cannot just remove her collar, or file for divorce, or break up just because things didn't go her way.
She has three choices...
1. deal with it, (for she is willing to put up with just about anything for her owner)
2. Ask to be released from her collar/contract (if a "contract" is in place)
3. Wait for Hin to release her, if He feels it isn't working out.


With respects, I do disagree here.

A contract is a contract. Marriage or not. And if that slave/sub/kajira/wife has to leave because to stay is not in their best interest - then the contract is null and void. If a slave/sub/kajira/wife has been let down by her husband/Master/Daddy in anyway at all and is not growing or is being stiffled, then the contract is already null and void.

It would be very unwise and dangerous for anyone to believe that a contract or collar means no escape unless the dominant 'says so'.

Peace and Love

*edit urgh typos

< Message edited by dark~angel -- 9/25/2005 2:28:21 PM >

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to SirKnottynNice)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/25/2005 11:21:34 PM   
Phoenxx


Posts: 253
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Swift Current
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dark~angel

quote:

Now one thing though,
I believe that 'alone' the collar has a stronger meaning and bond than a ring.
I say this because, a "Wife" can remove her ring, and file for divorce if she feels unhappy, or things didn't go as she had expected/wanted.

A "sub/slave/pet" cannot just remove her collar, or file for divorce, or break up just because things didn't go her way.
She has three choices...
1. deal with it, (for she is willing to put up with just about anything for her owner)
2. Ask to be released from her collar/contract (if a "contract" is in place)
3. Wait for Hin to release her, if He feels it isn't working out.


With respects, I do disagree here.

A contract is a contract. Marriage or not. And if that slave/sub/kajira/wife has to leave because to stay is not in their best interest - then the contract is null and void. If a slave/sub/kajira/wife has been let down by her husband/Master/Daddy in anyway at all and is not growing or is being stiffled, then the contract is already null and void.

It would be very unwise and dangerous for anyone to believe that a contract or collar means no escape unless the dominant 'says so'.

Peace and Love

*edit urgh typos

Well I as about to post something along this line. But dark angel posted 1st. One more thing to add. If you think you can stop your slave/sub/bottom from leaving.. all they have to do is call the cops... and see who is doing what....

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/26/2005 1:15:25 AM   
NewlyBruised


Posts: 22
Joined: 9/20/2005
Status: offline 		CONGRATUALTIONS!!!

Phoenxx - Scary thought... but oh so true...

I love consent and trust... that was something we actualy talked about before He collared me.

Faramir... may you never have to worry about your lady leaving!

wishing you much happiness!!!



(in reply to Phoenxx)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/26/2005 3:00:28 AM   
floorkitten


Posts: 50
Joined: 4/28/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations!!!

Regarding marriage - Master and I held our committment/collaring ceremony this past July. THAT was and is one of the most monumental steps either of us have ever taken in a committment to another person. The words we spoke that day - were of eternity.

We will also be married on November 11 of this year. Without the legal bounds of marriage - if either of were to HAVE to make a decision for the other - our wishes would mean NOTHING. Also, we know the committment we have towards one another - but we are also surrounded by those who would not understand the meaning of this collar I wear - again - the marriage will show them our committment is real.

Best of luck.

floorkitten
slave and soon to be wife of: teachu2bgood

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/28/2005 3:41:05 PM   
Themistokles


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/25/2004
Status: offline 		That's marvelous to hear, Faramir! Congratulations to you both.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/28/2005 5:03:27 PM   
BalletBob


Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Congrats Faramir and SMS. That so so GREAT ! My Bunny Muffins (Wife Nancy) and I have been married for 30 (OUCH) years now. Even though she doesn't want anything to do with this lifestyle, she still supports me and we have a great relationship.

Good Luck and I hope you too can make it to 30. WOW...3o years of B&D...What a great "CAREER" that woould be.

BalletBob

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/28/2005 5:59:27 PM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Themistokles

That's marvelous to hear, Faramir! Congratulations to you both.



Thanks brother

(in reply to Themistokles)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/28/2005 6:13:48 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

I just wanted to share some good news. Tonight I proposed to SMS and she accepted (duh) and we are both just flying high (engagement to be married and no kids this weekend).



I just want to say congratulations to both of you and wish you all happiness. I have to admit I have always reserved the term master, because in my heart I have the romantic hope that I will only call one man master in my lifetime. Personally it means more to me than husband. As you say it seems it should mean more than just a vow of commitment; it's a complete ownership.

(Others mileage may vary.)

Cindi

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Collars & Rings - 9/28/2005 7:47:07 PM   
SirMike2elusive


Posts: 2
Joined: 9/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL:
My ideal: to be owned as a slave, cherished as a woman, and a devoted wife to a master/husband. I would adore to give myself completely and serve him forever. He'd be my hero :)

Much respect!

<tossing rice>
fawne


Thats my ideal too, glad I am not the only one :)

Congrats to you both Faramir, it sounds wonderful :)

Master and myself plan to marry in the next year if all goes to plan :)

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Collars & Rings - 10/1/2005 3:55:29 AM   
MistressMelissa


Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		Collar vs. the Wedding Ring

Both are powerful symbols of love and commitment. But to me the collar holds the most meaning. I don’t know if it’s where each item is worn on the body, but I believe the collar to have a deeper psychological effect upon the wearer. Over my limited 40 odd years on this planet I have watch people put on and remove wedding rings for various reasons but I have never witnessed the psychological effect upon the wearer as when a collar is removed from the neck of a sub/slave. The constant touching of the neck, the sense of panic, the uneasiness, the sense of rejection, all simply erased when the collar is once again around their throat. Not to mention the sheer pride a dominant feels in seeing their collar around the neck of someone that belongs to them. The “standard” collar is steel, a symbol of strength and unyielding determination, held in place with a lock to symbolize protection and that the collar is there to stay. Together the lock and steel tell the sub/slave that they are not only owned, but that each parties promise to the other will be kept and that these promises can’t be easily discarded.

I'll collar a slave but I doubt I'll ever walk down the isle with one. The collar means more to me than any wedding would. Best of Luck!

Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

(in reply to Faramir)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Collars & Rings - 10/1/2005 5:42:57 AM   
iamMasters


Posts: 65
Joined: 5/16/2005
Status: offline 		Congratulations!!!!!!

I have the ring and await the collar. This is just the way it has worked for us, although the D/s realationship has lurked in the bedroom for 10 years it has only surfaced as 'real life' since May of this year and we are still working on it.

I know that I will feel our realtionship has reached it's ultimate in commitment when I finally earn His collar.

I know others may disagree with the importance of both ring and collar, but to me they go hand in hand,

(in reply to MistressMelissa)
Profile   Post #: 40
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