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LadyHugs -> RE: Difference between subs and slaves (3/9/2008 6:17:41 PM)
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Dear Paulsgirl, Ladies and Gentlemen;
It is my belief, that life is constant growth, learning, expanding and experimentation. It is that quest through answering what is being questioned because you/the individual has questioned such. It matters little if it makes sense or not--the question has been posed--the answer needs to be reached. How it is reached, comes through many processes that are unique to that individual. People transition entirely different, yet-- I would think the goal is the same--to have answers, to have confidence in them. This is on any aspect of life and life's experiences.
As for your response, [Excerpt]Slaves, have accumilated what they have from their journey and now able to identify what creates the spiritual peace and contentment, safety and validation--to include appreciation for their authentic self. The barriers, the walls that had been applied in the experimental stage no longer are needed as to feel free to be themselves and, inpowered now--they can choose who best fits their mental, emotional, spiritual and physical self in the role as 'slave.'
I also agree with this. And for me the role of being able to choose was at last embodied in my abilities to serve, whether or not there is anything given by my Master, and most of all in my willingness to serve in the absence of anything being given, wheter it be sensation, attention, favour or experience. [End of excerpt]
I like to add to your thoughts, to which the goal in mastering your spirit, emotions, logic/mind and physical side; is having that lack of 'need' for payment in some fashion in return for being a servant and or slave. Much like giving an out of the blue gift to someone, who is totally unprepared to return a gift per se--it is that wonderful feeling of giving because you want to--not because you have to, are expected to, are demanded into. Some individuals are better giving gifts and find it extremely difficult and awkward to receiving gifts. These gifts can be in any form--be it sensation, attention, favor, acknowledgement and or experience.
In turn, a Dominant like me, is not forced into a response and instead of going through the same motion per se--of formalities and or expectations; so to-- A Dominant uncumbered can 'give' gifts in many manifestations in return to this slave. In the end, it really is giving ourselves the gift of being honest with giving--to ourselves, to others and the relationship.
[Excerpt]--It is my belief that submissives and slaves must be able to give of themselves with quality and not quantity. Some individuals can not give a blank check to Dominants, thus some would see them more submissive than slave. Perhaps the fit isn't exact and yet has growing to do in that relationship with that certain Dominant. However, it is such great relief to some, to be able to hand over to a Dominant, all their worries, doubts, control, trust and love, to include the safety and well being of their emotional, mental, spiritual and physical self, over to a Dominant that has proven through consistancy--not promises alone; to be that special Dominant that provides that slave that safe place to fall into and enjoy the freedoms of the confines of what 'slave' means to them and their Dominant partner.
Yes: i discuss my failings, my wishes to be free, my longings, my needs and indeed i also discuss my disrespect and need to dismiss myself. i also discuss my spirituality, my beliefs and indeed my love for Him. i am entirely free except that He does not give me permission to release myself from my slavery. [End of Excerpt]
I would also wish to add to this, that I see individuals who consider their short comings as 'failures' and 'weakness.' I consider them goals to work with, as to take a different look upon them and look in how to turn such into positives and or less pronounced as to not 'load your pockets full of lead' per se, which handicaps the freedoms held in different areas. Those who have very 'deep' and 'destructive' views of themselves do so for many reasons however, those on the outside can see differently--even though you (in general) cannot see them and or not see them 'yet.' In seeing those who often say about themselves how unworthy, disrespectful to themselves via mental, emotional, spiritual and or physically--such as attempted suicides, hurting themselves and those who are miserable for the sake of fulfilling their own complaints--do fulfill their own prophecy and stay in the whirlpool of their own making. No dominant can combat the other individual's mind. The Dominant will hopefully make attitude adjustments and or behavior modifications, as to give the individual a fighting chance to create their own escape ladder out of this whirlpool of internal chaos.
Although anyone who seriously wishes, can remove themself from a relationship-- I am of the thought, in regard to your response, is that the desire of the Dominant in not giving you permission to release yourself from your slavery, is because retreat has been the modus operandi and this entrenched this self judgment of being less than. In slavery, the Dominant feels your worth--when at this point--perhaps, maybe--you have yet the sight that this Dominant has and or any other, that sees you as a very worthwhile individual who struggles like any other to grasp their worth in this world, this lifetime and in this moment and time. It is hard for those who have never held themselves in high regard that anybody can see otherwise. They need people to convince them and it really is the person who has such low thoughts of themselves--that they need to not only convince themselves but--believe that this is indeed true.
It may be deemed very harsh but, the truth really is honest by it's own words--"Another person's trash is another's treasure." Everybody should be someone's treasure.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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